Bonus Chapter 6: Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It.
Please allow me a little fist pump.
I’d found a good deal in San Antonio. I’d gotten us a room downtown in a La Quinta Inn (an author, Steve Rushin, once wrote that “La Quinta” is Spanish for “Next to the Denny’s”). The rooms were all suites, so we had extra room and no one had to sleep on the floor. They offered free breakfast and (possibly the biggest benefit) free parking, and were within walking distance of some of the major attractions downtown. All that for $99/night. Not too shabby!
We just had to put up with the fact that the front of the hotel was completely blocked for renovations. Once we found the side entrance, that was no longer a problem. Sometimes all this trip research pays off!
In the morning, we drove just south of the city to Mission San Jose, site of the main visitor center for
San Antonio Missions National Historical Park. This park included four separate sites of missions built by Spanish colonists in the early 1700’s, seeking to claim Texas for the crown and protect against incursions by the French from their Louisiana territory. The missions were also intended to provide new Spanish citizens under the rule of the crown back in the home country, as natives seeking medical care from disease or drought were forced to give up their traditional ways of life, convert to Christianity, and pledge loyalty to Spain.
The main visitor center is there at Mission San Jose, and features some small exhibits and a film about the history of the missions. I thought it was pretty well done, showing many of the positives brought by the Spanish (modern farming/irrigation, care for people ravaged by disease and drought) while also lamenting the loss of the cultural traditions of the natives.
The building itself is impressive, and is still an active Catholic parish today.
I believe photos of the inside of the chapel may have been discouraged, so if anyone asks, this was a stock photo we got in the gift shop.
Behind the mission was a grist mill, restored to work using a canal built by the colonists to divert water from the San Antonio River to push the wheel that ran the mill. We apparently took no photos, so just imagine the food court at Port Orleans Riverside and you’ll get the idea.
We mostly spent our time wandering the grounds and letting Julie fool around with her camera.
There was nothing further to report here, except for one moment, deep within the recesses of the visitor center gift shop when…
Scotty happened.
Once we’d finished there, we moved on to another site in the park, Mission Concepcion.
There appeared to be a wedding about to start there, so we didn’t get a lot of time to explore.
Neat buildings, and amazing to consider that they are works of art built by fairly primitive means in the early 1700’s. They also serve as reminders of the complicated legacy of colonial expansion.
We returned to the hotel, parked the van, and made sandwiches in the room. Then we went on a walk for the afternoon. Just a few blocks to the east of the hotel was the famous
San Antonio Riverwalk, a de facto city plaza involving miles of interconnected walkways bordering the San Antonio River and various side canals. It’s absolutely gorgeous and makes for one of the best downtown public areas of any city, anywhere. Accessibility is a bit of an issue, as we found out pushing a stroller—this is mostly due to the Riverwalk having been constructed long before the Americans With Disabilities Act transformed how we construct public spaces. So elevators, ramps, etc. had to be added/shoehorned in after the fact.
Thankfully, Julie and I are now experts at the Ambulance-Worker Style Stroller-Carrying Technique, so we made liberal use of that whenever we encountered stairs along the way. Drew did his part by refusing to ride in the stroller half the time anyway, leading us to inevitably wonder why we’d brought it along, which is typically where any day spent with a toddler and a stroller ends up.
Anyway, the Riverwalk is beautiful.
There are tour boats motoring up and down the canals with guides helpfully explaining the history of the city. All for a price, of course. My parents did this a couple of days later, after they caught up with us in town, and said they had a terrific guide on their boat. Your mileage may vary.
There are fountains everywhere.
We found a small amphitheater where an acting troupe puts on Shakespeare plays and other performances. I’m glad to see that—as I’ve told you before, no writer spoke to the human condition like William Shakespeare.
There are numerous restaurants dotting the waterways, where you can have a nice outdoor meal along the water.
If you’re lucky, you can be serenaded/embarrassed by a mariachi band while you eat.
Just a few steps away from the eastern portion of the Riverwalk lies the most famous landmark of San Antonio:
The Alamo. It ended up being about a mile walk from our hotel to get there. This is the most famous of the Spanish missions in the area, because it was the site of a massacre during the Texas Revolution that galvanized Texans into ultimately winning their independence from Mexico.
The battle was romanticized in Disney’s Davy Crockett movies, but in truth there was nothing romantic about it. Roughly 200 Texans were surrounded at this site and under siege by Mexican soldiers under the command of General Santa Ana. Despite repeated pleas for reinforcements, the Texans were hopelessly outgunned. Their commander was William B. Travis. Former congressman and noted tall tale subject Davy Crockett was part of the force, as was Jim Bowie, another frontiersman and inventor of the Bowie knife. On March 6, 1836 after several days of siege, the Mexicans attacked, and were able to successfully scale the walls and take over the mission. All of the Texans were killed in the battle or executed shortly after. “Remember the Alamo!” was the battle cry that rallied Texans around their commander, General Sam Houston, and carried them to the ultimate victory at the Battle of San Jacinto on April 21.
The Alamo historic site is not run by the National Park Service, but rather a state preservation society. Admission is free, but you can purchase an audio tour or a guided tour of the site. Being cheapskates, we did neither.
Instead, we played the never-ending game of photo composition, otherwise known as Let’s See If Random Strangers Can Remember To Include The Famous Thing We’re Visiting In The Family Photo:
Nope. Good try, though. And hey, Drew is actually in the stroller!
So close!
Honestly, those aren’t terrible. Just not perfect. I guess I’ll have to take matters into my own hands again.
We were able to walk inside the Alamo itself (no photos allowed), see some exhibits that included various artifacts including a rifle donated by actor Fess Parker (who played the Disney version of Davy Crockett), and watch a very good History Channel film about the battle. And visit the requisite gift shop, of course.
After a stop for some ice cream to combat the Texas heat, we returned to the Riverwalk. I liked the fact that none of the fountains were alike.
Sarah took this one. Properly composed and everything!
It was here, however that we had our only negative experience in San Antonio. As we walked along the Riverwalk, we would occasionally have to maneuver around some crowds of people. Given that we were pushing a stroller, we were naturally walking slower than some others, so we would occasionally have to move over and let them pass, just like slow people in the left lane always do on the highways.
At one point, I could sense a crowd approaching. One of the people on my left was a woman wearing a blue t-shirt, no shoes, and red Homer Simpson Christmas pajama pants. I told the kids to move over, and we let a few people pass. The lady stopped and waited along with us.
We continued until we reached a turn that would take us further north, which was the opposite direction of our hotel. We stopped for a moment to get our bearings and figure out where we wanted to go from there.
The lady stopped, too.
We turned around and started walking back towards our hotel, having to carry the stroller over a bridge to get to the other side of the canal. The barefoot lady in the Christmas pajamas changed direction and walked along with us.
Julie and I were exchanging looks of both annoyance and alarm at this point—something clearly was going on here. We paused on the bridge for a long time, taking a couple of photos, pulling out bottles of water, etc. Julie leaned over and whispered to me, “I think that lady is following us.” I nodded in agreement. We made plans to get to the other side of the bridge and try to bolt to shake her loose. I was tensing up, not sure if I was going to have to do anything dramatic to defend us. All I knew was, my family was there, and I’m the first line of defense, so I had to be ready if…uh…dung was about to go down.
We had to carry the stroller down more stairs, and Julie and I made a big show of taking our time, trying to make it uncomfortable for the lady to hang around. She must have realized her cover was blown, because at the bottom of the stairs she went over to another woman and started asking for directions. That was all the opening we needed. Julie took off like a shot, whispering to the boys to “Just go!” I was right on her heels, and we left the creepy stalker lady in the dust. Like practiced spies, we worked on our exfiltration route to make sure we shook our tail, taking a couple of random turns and then leaving the Riverwalk altogether to see if anyone came up the stairs behind us.
To this day, I have no idea what that was about, but it was very unsettling. I’m kinda proud of the way Julie and I worked together, though. I think we’d make a halfway decent spy team.
Also, Pro Tip: if you’re going to stalk someone, maybe don’t wear red Homer Simpson Christmas pajama pants with no shoes. In 90-degree heat.
Crisis averted, we returned to the hotel, regrouped, and drove to get some dinner. A friend had recommended a place that we knew we had to try as soon as we heard the name:
Henry’s Puffy Tacos.
This place is located on the north edge of the city, and their big claim to fame is their delicious, perfectly-prepared ribeye steak.
Made you look. The difference between a regular taco and a puffy taco is that they deep-fry the taco shell, which creates air pockets that puff up the shell. Much like bacon and cheese, deep-frying makes everything better, so we figured it had to be worth a shot.
We weren’t disappointed, although Julie was wilder about them than I was. I actually liked the pork tacos in Lajitas better. But my judgment may have been colored by the fact that I ordered pork again here, and it was just ok. Meanwhile, Julie ordered beef, which was the clear winner as far as the taco fillings went.
Maybe we’ll let Sarah weigh in. Sarah, what’s your opinion?
Coming Up Next: Our time in Texas is drawing to a close, meaning I need to cram in as much BBQ as I possibly can before we go.
Of course he did!
Hmm...
