Some feelings don't need to be made public. If you feel "horrible" about something that you don't intend to change, keep it to yourself.
This is an anonymous message board. This is exactly the place where people should feel free to express their feelings, however unpopular they might be.
It is insensitive when you are taking about loss of life and say that you feel relieved that an adult died rather than a child. That is disrespectful to the family of that driver and insensitive because you never know who is reading these boards.
The bus fell off a road and the person responsible for the bus is the one that died. I would have preferred that nobody died but since someone did, it's best that it was the captain of the ship.
But anyway, your feelings on this are totally normal.
Put yourself in the position of the BUS DRIVER. Which would you rather have happen... a bus accident where one of your passengers died, or a bus accident where you died? Those are the only two options. Obviously everyone is going to say "where no one died". Personally, I would feel so guilty (whether it's my fault or not) if one of my passengers died, I would gladly trade my life for theirs.It is insensitive when you are taking about loss of life and say that you feel relieved that an adult died rather than a child. That is disrespectful to the family of that driver and insensitive because you never know who is reading these boards.
RelaxIt is insensitive when you are taking about loss of life and say that you feel relieved that an adult died rather than a child. That is disrespectful to the family of that driver and insensitive because you never know who is reading these boards.
I share the OPs feelings also. And in fact was what I thought when I first heard the news. Maybe if enough of us agree with him, it will tip the scales and be a “normal” thought.You may share the OP's feelings but enough of us don't that I wouldn't describe it as normal. Even she admitted to feeling badly about her comment.
To me, feeling terrible that this trip ended in tragedy is normal. Qualifying the tragedy as the OP did is insensitive at the least.
Thank you both for the back up.
Minor correction: HE.
Looks like a company called First Class Tours was the operator and they've had 4 crashes in the last 2 years. That's pretty unacceptable.
Personally I wouldn’t base any guess as to what’s “normal” in everyday life off of what is determined as “normal” on the DIS.I share the OPs feelings also. And in fact was what I thought when I first heard the news. Maybe if enough of us agree with him, it will tip the scales and be a “normal” thought.
I knew what he meant too... While I think it's understandable to HAVE those feelings, I don't necessarily think one should voice those opinions.So no one has ever thought in a tragedy "at least the kids made it out ok." or "at least the kids didn't suffer." No one ever? I get what @FlightlessDuck is trying to say. I don't think she's saying "good I'm glad the bus driver died."
You may share the OP's feelings but enough of us don't that I wouldn't describe it as normal. Even she admitted to feeling badly about her comment.
To me, feeling terrible that this trip ended in tragedy is normal. Qualifying the tragedy, as the OP did, is insensitive at the least and shouldn't be normalized.
Never easy to lose a loved one no matter their age.
But the grief of losing a child, especially in the prime of their lives has got to be unbearable.
As a parent, we send our kids out the door every day hoping they come back to us safely. And yes, as bad as it sounds and as hard as it would be, it would be easier for me to lose my almost 50 year old husband than my child.
My husband has been able to live more and have more experiences than my kids. I'd (and he would too) like for them to live some of those experiences.
My own dad died at age 38. His dad was so distraught and wished it was himself and not his son. I'll never forget my grandfather's grief and as a parent, I get it.
You feel the same when a 99 year old dies as when a 10 year old dies? I'm sorry I've been to few funerals of people aged 80+. It was a celebration of their life not a mourning. Anyone that makes it to old age is blessed.In all honesty no, I've never thought that. Doesn't matter if you are 1 year old or 99 years old they all mean the same to me.
Not everyone feels that way. I absolutely did not feel the same when my gma (whom I was very close to) died at 87 as I did when my dad died at 62. Not at all. My gma made me sad, but I understood she was old & we can’t live forever & it was going to happen sooner or later. For my dad, I felt cheated & still do since he didn’t even make it to average age.You feel the same when a 99 year old dies as when a 10 year old dies? I'm sorry I've been to few funerals of people aged 80+. It was a celebration of their life not a mourning. Anyone that makes it to old age is blessed.