Am I crazy to go back?

LEGO land might be an idea. She’d love to go to the beach, but I’m afraid to rent a house and go by myself. Silly, but so much driving! Maybe I should look around the Destin area or other resorts in Orlando area

Why do you need to rent a house to go to the beach? There's no shortage of resorts where you can just get a regular hotel room, use the nearby beach and the hotel pool. Have you considered flying into Tampa and going to Clearwater?
 
Why do you need to rent a house to go to the beach? There's no shortage of resorts where you can just get a regular hotel room, use the nearby beach and the hotel pool. Have you considered flying into Tampa and going to Clearwater?

No. I haven’t traveled really at all since ODD was born (10 yrs ago) and so I don’t really know anywhere that’s good for kids.

My resolution is to relax some and try to enjoy travel and vacations.
 
Why do you need to rent a house to go to the beach? There's no shortage of resorts where you can just get a regular hotel room, use the nearby beach and the hotel pool. Have you considered flying into Tampa and going to Clearwater?

And your question made me think...when we travel, E is very loud (stims). We’ve gone to the beach every 3 years with her (only once since my YDD was born) and we need a house so we don’t disturb the neighbors. With just YDD, I could totally stay in a resort. 🤦🏽‍♀️
 
And your question made me think...when we travel, E is very loud (stims). We’ve gone to the beach every 3 years with her (only once since my YDD was born) and we need a house so we don’t disturb the neighbors. With just YDD, I could totally stay in a resort. 🤦🏽‍♀️
Sounds like you have a lot more options than you realized. Before you book anything, take a while to think about what you'd like to do. There is so much out there that you and YDD could go experience. It's an adjustment to shift your thinking of what's possible.

We're here to answer questions and give advice. The Orlando Hotels and Attractions page might be a good resource for other attractions in the area, beaches, hotels, waterparks, etc. I have definitely seen people give recommendations for beaches, etc.

Traveling with kids who have SN is very difficult. My BIL and SIL have a hard time traveling with my ODN. She becomes overstimulated very easily, and her meltdowns are fierce and terrible and unpredictable. Even at home, she can be very volatile. Her younger sister, on the other hand, is neurotypical and very bright. It's hard for them to balance the needs of both girls. We vacation with them every year, and I see their struggle. We rent a beach house (not in FL) for a week, and they usually join us for a few days, which is about as much disruption to her routine as ODN can handle.

As for separate vacations, my three kids are basically neurotypical (YDS has ADHD but that doesn't impact our trips). Yet the age difference can make it hard. ODS and YDS are 19 months apart, and then there's a 5 1/2 year gap between YDS and DD. Since DH doesn't like Disney (or amusement parks in general), I took the boys to Disney in the fall of 2018, and we did the bigger rides and moved at park commando pace. I'll take DD (age 4) this spring, and we'll do the smaller rides, lots of character meets, and a much slower speed. When she's a bit older, we'll be able to do a Disney or Universal trip together, but for right now, their interests don't overlap enough to have a satisfying trip without another adult to allow some splitting up. ODS is envious of missing Galaxy's Edge this spring, but he knows he had his turn, and his turn will come again.
 
Last year (and really since 2017!!!) I planned something once-in-a-lifetime trip to WDW for my whole crew (me, DH, ODD, and YDD). I had ADRs, the perfect hotel room, all the FP, DAS, wheelchairs and strollers, princesses. You name it I had it planned...and the trip was a FLOP! DH said he had a good time, and I planned well, but ODD was grabbing strangers, melting down in lines, and not sleeping well and YDD begged me to get a babysitter and let her stay in the room!

The thing is, I really liked planning the trip. It was fun to know our itinerary (so type A) months in advance. I liked the rides, ease of finding food, hotel, people.

So DH and I have decided we just need to vacation separately while the other person stays home with ODD (she’s disabled, if you haven’t figured that out). He’s doing a week in July to a music program he’s interested in. I’m thinking of taking YDD back to the Poly for 3 nights!?!??

I thought we’d do one day at MK and the rest of the time swim and maybe some kind of kids camp for her? Is it crazy considering how much she whined the last time? Anybody taken a trip focused less on the parks and more in the resort amenities?

Anybody vacation with only one child? I feel guilty leaving my big girl at home, but she doesn’t understand travel and she’s getting too big for me to care for alone while keeping an eye on her sister.

I talked about other ideas we all could enjoy, but DH really wants to do his music thing, and he’s satisfied with that for trips thus year.

My wife and I have been on several return trips without the kids. They are now adults. Our latest ventures found us "collecting" Wilderness Explorer badges at Animal Kingdom. We started Sorcerers of the Kingdom and Pirate's Adventure-Treasures of the 7 Seas at Magic Kingdom. At Epcot we stopped the Kidcot Fun Stops and collected world "stamps" in our passport books that we purchased. We also started collecting pressed pennies at all the parks and resorts. We still went on many other attractions but, by doing these different activities, it slowed us down, took the crowds out of our visit and gave us time together to be big kids. We actually discovered that we paid more attention to the small details of the park by doing the activities.
 
My wife and I have been on several return trips without the kids. They are now adults. Our latest ventures found us "collecting" Wilderness Explorer badges at Animal Kingdom. We started Sorcerers of the Kingdom and Pirate's Adventure-Treasures of the 7 Seas at Magic Kingdom. At Epcot we stopped the Kidcot Fun Stops and collected world "stamps" in our passport books that we purchased. We also started collecting pressed pennies at all the parks and resorts. We still went on many other attractions but, by doing these different activities, it slowed us down, took the crowds out of our visit and gave us time together to be big kids. We actually discovered that we paid more attention to the small details of the park by doing the activities.

It's amazing how different Disney trips are once the kids are grown. When we went last year for our 25th anniversary we took things so slow. We had so much fun just wandering and chatting with people. We sat on the patio next to Rose & Crown and chatted with a couple from Jersey for about an hour.

I'm going to have to tell my husband about doing all the "kid" stuff we did when the kids were young. They did all that same stuff as you but with five kids it was always a little rushed. Now we could just enjoy it.
 
Just a thought if you have your heart set on Disney, going at a slower pace and splitting days can be a more relaxing approach that your YDD might enjoy. For example, going to MK in the morning and then chilling at the resort in the afternoon and maybe back again at night for dinner/fireworks. It doesn't always have to be go, go, go with every minute planned out. Some of my favorite times at DW are when we casually stroll and taking in all the sights without looking at the clock to stay on schedule.

Is she into princesses? Maybe a special appointment at the BBB would be enjoyed?
 


Just a thought if you have your heart set on Disney, going at a slower pace and splitting days can be a more relaxing approach that your YDD might enjoy. For example, going to MK in the morning and then chilling at the resort in the afternoon and maybe back again at night for dinner/fireworks. It doesn't always have to be go, go, go with every minute planned out. Some of my favorite times at DW are when we casually stroll and taking in all the sights without looking at the clock to stay on schedule.

Is she into princesses? Maybe a special appointment at the BBB would be enjoyed?

Oh we love princesses. I’ve been thinking about it and I can think of lots of things we did for ODD that YDD wouldn’t have enjoyed. ODD is allergic to wheat and tomatoes so We had lots of sit down meals. QS and snacks for her were really hard! YDD can patiently sit through a meal, but it’s not her favorite. She’d prefer QS and snacking when she decides she’s hungry.

We didn’t get any wheat snacks because IDD steals food (she loves food and it’s so sad to have allergies!). YDD and I could have cinnamon rolls and waffles and all the nachos! Even ‘real spaghetti, with wheat!!’

ODD sleeps erratically and that was hard even with the extra bedroom. YDD and I could share a bed and sleep as much as we wanted! On vacation! That’s unheard of!

ODD doesn’t like to be cold, so we couldn’t enjoy the pool as it was a bit chilly, but in October I think it would still be warm enough to actually swim some.

I’m not sure if we will go to WDW or one of those lovely resorts around Clearwater that someone recommended up thread, but I really think YDD and I deserve a trip sans ODD because it sounds like we make a lot of compromises for her, and while that builds character, it’s also nice to not build character sometimes.
 
I’m not sure if we will go to WDW or one of those lovely resorts around Clearwater that someone recommended up thread, but I really think YDD and I deserve a trip sans ODD because it sounds like we make a lot of compromises for her, and while that builds character, it’s also nice to not build character sometimes.

Yes! In case of loss of cabin pressure, put on your own mask before helping those around you.

Mama, you have to take care of yourself...and your YDD, too. Having a family member (child or adult) with special needs is a lot of work. Saying this doesn't mean you love them any less, it just acknowledges that giving them the care they deserve can wear you out. And YDD deserves to come first sometimes, and just have a "normal" vacation every once in a while.

So take the time you need to recharge your battery, and you'll be an even better mom to both ODD and YDD.
 
We regularly do separate trips for our two kids as well. This gives us one-on-one time with the kids for both me and DH, which has been nice. We also do our "forced family fun" trips (said with affection) once a year with all four of us, so we get both experiences. I have actually had a solo WDW trip with DS already, so this year am doing my solo trip with DD.

DS is an attention hog and has a very dominant personality, DD gets washed out into the background a lot. When we can separate them, the dynamic is much more manageable and DD loves the attention - finally! This also does wonders for our collective mental health LOL.

...
Mama, you have to take care of yourself...and your YDD, too. Having a family member (child or adult) with special needs is a lot of work. Saying this doesn't mean you love them any less, it just acknowledges that giving them the care they deserve can wear you out. And YDD deserves to come first sometimes, and just have a "normal" vacation every once in a while.
...
I agree with this.

Ecomommy, I feel your guilt. I felt it too when I first started planning these trips. But both my kids look back on all their solo trips with me VERY fondly and look forward to the next one. DH doesn't like to travel, but whoever stays home still gets all his attention and gets to do lots of fun things. For my DS, that means horror movie marathons (because we don't let him watch those around our DD) and taco bell!

Enjoy yourself, you're doing a good thing!
 
I think it's a great idea and would probably be beneficial for YDD. I felt guilt before that first trip with just DD but that quickly faded once I landed.

I started taking my kids on separate WDW trips after a bad family trip in 2015 (kids were 15 and 9 at the time). It was in no way in comparison to the issues you have with ODD but my DS15 was a lot to handle those first few days of the trip. For about two years after that I vowed to never go on another family trip to WDW ever again. I've loosened up and would be willing to go on another family trip but for now we have been doing separate trips and it works.

My SO isn't a huge Disney fan. I think my kids traumatized him on that 2015 trip! lol When I ask him if he likes Disney he says "hmm yeah eh." He is starting to come around to maybe another family trip one day but he's not completely sold yet. He does want to go just us two since he really enjoyed our date night in Epcot and Trader Sams during that 2015 trip. So that's in the works one day.

DS went on his senior trip in 2018 so I took that as my first opportunity to go with DD12 (at the time) alone. It was wonderful. Plans are much easier to make when you only have to deal with two peoples likes and dislikes vs. 4 people. Same day ADRs were easier to get. Choosing a QS place is easier when it's only two people. When it was time for the next ride you only had to compromise with one other person. You only have to deal with another persons personality or attitude or crankiness.

DS turns 21 next year and he's a big Star Wars fan. I'm thinking of taking him on a trip for his birthday, specifically for Galaxy Edge. He would love it and I think it being just us two would be a much better trip.

We do family trips to other places and have a great time. I feel like Disney was/is too much as a group because personalities clash for that type of vacation. So for now we are on a break from it. If we do another family trip to WDW it might be when DS graduates college. We shall see.
 
Bump with new question for you advanced Disney-goers: I’ve decided to definitely go to Disney because I think I’ll be least anxious for a solo trip there. We are going to stay at Contemporary Bay Tower.

I’m trying to start thinking of things she’s enjoy. I’m planning lots of pool time!

I’m not sure we will go to a park at all. A little closer to our dates, I’ll check in if she wants to go to MK. She is talking about how much she liked Peter Pan and hated Living with the Land the other night. 🤣. If she does, we might do MK only.

Maybe lunch at Rainforest Cafe in DS and some shopping (she loves clothes!).

I also think she’d love the Wonderland Tea at GF. It’s just for kids and she loves to play. Anything else like that where she’s have some independence? I know they don’t have kids clubs anymore.

Maybe a babysitter while I get a massage...

Any other activities she’d like?
 
I’m trying to start thinking of things she’s enjoy. I’m planning lots of pool time!

I also think she’d love the Wonderland Tea at GF. It’s just for kids and she loves to play. Anything else like that where she’s have some independence? I know they don’t have kids clubs anymore.

Maybe a babysitter while I get a massage...

Any other activities she’d like?
There is a kids club over at the Dolphin. Look up “Camp Dolphin” for more info. They will even give a couple hours free if you eat in one of the Swan/Dolphin signature restaurants or get spa services there. Easier than hiring a babysitter in your room.
 

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