I wouldn't let this thread discourage you from staying on-property. That the people commenting here have stayed many, many times on property and keep returning is more telling than their gripes with a couple specific resorts.
To some extent, that most here indicate they've stayed in several resorts over years of returns means they've finetuned their preferences and know pretty well what they like/dislike. That they have can be a fruitful source if you use it.
Some simply don't care for the theming, door-to-outside, other features of certain levels of stay, etc. So, the details given reflect their particular preferences, not necessarily anything inherently wrong with a given resort. In that sense, making a few notes of details people give about a resort you're considering for the first time can be very helpful. When you see things mentioned by more than one person, things that would bother you, that's something to consider.
For example, it is the case that having a car at OKW can be very much better than depending on the internal shuttle and buses to the parks. You can generally park a car quite close to your building (something you can't do at fancy-schmancy VGF). It can really reduce frustration to use your car to the parks from OKW.
Then, watch video tours of the resort itself and of the specific room type you're considering. Check to see if you can find room tours made by guests (more than one if possible) as well as those filmed by professional vloggers. Guest videos often have a much different, more down to earth approach to what works/doesn't work for ordinary people.
All of these will give you a pretty good basis for deciding if the resort will suit you/your family.
I think you can usually tell beforehand if a resort is going to be for you or not, but some people (like me!) want to try them all anyway! FWIW -
And what I've said above is the "homework" that will make it far more likely you can determine a resort is likely to please you/your family. Because I don't think you can tell much by the theming, the photos of a resort, the price--none of those will tell you that parking is a hassle; the buses are mobbed trying to get to ropedrop; the resort is looking shabby and needs a refurb/reno.