just curious dont want this to get out of control bathroom use

[john7994]

I hear you! But there could be anything on those sink fixtures! Best not to touch them at all if you can help it, or make sure to wash pretty good afterward if you do! (Then turn off with a paper towel unless they’re auto shut-off.)

I once was in a public restroom when I saw a cleaner take the toilet brush from the toilet he was cleaning and go right over to the sink and wash the sink fixtures with the same brush he just cleaned the toilet with!

Haven't run into too many non-automatic faucets these days - I don't even like to think about how washrooms are cleaned, but also need to wash the hands, so it kinda of is what it is these days. I just have a real thing with the teeth brushing bit - I admire the dedication and discipline - just can't watch it ... That and those that have to hock loogie's into the urinals, toilets and sinks within sight/earshot ...

 

[tzolkin]

Really? As a 50 year old woman I have never once worried about that. Is this about traveling?

Yes, empty rest area bathrooms when traveling are probably the most scary, but honestly I have a little feeling of unease in any bathroom that's not bustling with people. My mother was (and probably still is) terrified of us getting kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or murdered so being aware of our surroundings and on alert for potential dangers was instilled in us from a very young age. I know she's a bit over the top, but I really thought that was pretty normal for most women. Isn't that the reason why women don't let their friend out of their sight in bars/clubs, carry pepper spray when walking alone, clench their keys and be alert in empty parking lots, etc?

 

[leahgoogle]

Yes, empty rest area bathrooms when traveling are probably the most scary, but honestly I have a little feeling of unease in any bathroom that's not bustling with people. My mother was (and probably still is) terrified of us getting kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or murdered so being aware of our surroundings and on alert for potential dangers was instilled in us from a very young age. I know she's a bit over the top, but I really thought that was pretty normal for most women. Isn't that the reason why women don't let their friend out of their sight in bars/clubs, carry pepper spray when walking alone, clench their keys and be alert in empty parking lots, etc?

You are correct to be cautious. My 13-year-old daughter recently went to the bathroom in a Barnes & Noble (small store) and had a man follow her as she exited the bathroom until she found my brother (I was not there at the time). She noticed right away he was following her and went right to my brother. This man could have easily followed her into the bathroom!!! Another local restaurant had a woman get sexually assaulted in the women's bathroom. And, this was not in a big city! I give my kids some freedom in stores, but I am becoming increasingly aware that I need to be vigilant watching out for myself and them. My kids know this too and are aware of their surroundings.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Yes, empty rest area bathrooms when traveling are probably the most scary, but honestly I have a little feeling of unease in any bathroom that's not bustling with people. My mother was (and probably still is) terrified of us getting kidnapped, sexually assaulted, or murdered so being aware of our surroundings and on alert for potential dangers was instilled in us from a very young age. I know she's a bit over the top, but I really thought that was pretty normal for most women. Isn't that the reason why women don't let their friend out of their sight in bars/clubs, carry pepper spray when walking alone, clench their keys and be alert in empty parking lots, etc?

I can see empty rest areas at night perhaps. But the rest seems a bit over the top. I don't think my Mother ever really mentioned that sort of thing to me as a 5 ft female out all the time in the 80s. Drove everywhere, took public transit, worked, went to bars.

 

[mjkacmom]

On the crawling kids: DUDE, I KNOW. And this has happened to me MULTIPLE times. Like, I try to not judge parents, things happen, but SERIOUSLY?! This isn't good for any of us!

I was afraid of one of my kids doing that, there were times I’d be out with 5 of them and have to use the restroom myself while keeping an eye on all of them, 1 was a runner.

 

[tony67]

dont think it will make a difference.. Stalls with huge gaps etc... havent kept people from being "romantic" in stalls in the past. but this usually only happens at clubs or bars late hours. and usually in a dark corner in a hall on the way to the bathrooms. Pretty sure a couple hooking up at the Olive Garden is a one off. if even

People hook up in the display bathrooms at Ikea and lots of other places that may shock most people - its unusual but not a one off.

Then there was the incident a few days ago at the GF - nothing to do with the main topic of this thread as far as I am aware - but an incident in the rest room with a cell phone and over the top of the stall.
Seems the person had recorded multiple young men - including some that may have been underage. The officer saw enough to make an arrest before the phone battery died.

I think the issue isn't with trans people at all. A true transgender person will do their business and leave the bathroom. I think the real issue is that there are instances of non-trans people doing shady things in women's restrooms and then claiming to be trans.

Id say this is probably 80-85% accurate IMO. maybe even 95%. In any group your going to have a percentage that are a problem.


In the end running into these issues is highly unlikely - hopefully - but with the way things get reported you would think its a day to day occurrence. It does generate clicks

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My impression is she made an obvious issue of it. The daughter manages the restaurant and I am guessing she got upset because the mother said something about an issue I'm sure she has heard others complain about many times in the past. If it's a legal issue or she is getting direction from higher up there is really nothing she can do about it.

If she prefers to wait until the people that made her uncomfortable leave that is totally fine. But how did she wait. Did she stand outside the door huffing and grumbling or did she just wait at her table and then go in after the others left?

You can wait until you're comfortable to go in, of course. But you don't get to make a point of expressing your displeasure with the situation.

That was my impression as well and I think it's a reasonable one to make given some of the choice words the OP used to describe the scenario

"there were 3 guys in there dressed as women"
"the females are afraid of using the bathrooms at school since transgender they/them (sorry but Im not sure of the correct word here)"

I'm guessing the daughter has been hearing comments over time from her mother of a not so nice way. I agree you can't tell someone what to be comfortable with but how you choose to verbalize this matters with respects to how people receive it.

 

[lifesavacation]

How/why does the presence of a gap prevent someone from using drugs inside?

It makes it easier to hide the drug use inside the stall or allow multiple people in a stall. Although I guess one could argue that they're doing it anyway so why does it matter. Portland has put a lot of money and design into loos which allow public access to restrooms yet discourages drug use. Police need to be able to see if an overdose in the stall has happened.

You may live in an area of the country where this isn't a concern. For some us, it's a bigger issue.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Our metro area just got a new airport this year, there are the usual men's/women's restrooms and non-gendered restrooms. I've been in both, it's really a non-issue, as long as you don't mind washing your hands next to a...gasp...member of the opposite gender

When I think about it, I wonder how we even got to the idea of separate restrooms--another era I suppose. FWIW--the stalls in the non-gendered restrooms have the European style stalls, there's almost no space at the bottom of partitions.

We like to say for anyone who finds the airport restrooms problematic, wait till you get on the plane!

Have you been to Union Station lately?

When we went to the Maya exhibit last December they had remodeled the main bathroom on that level, still separate stalls on either side and gendered but a communal sink area right as you enter. It threw a lot of people for a loop, I doubt because they had an issue with it but more trying to make sure is this right are you supposed to wash your hands right here.

I've yet to use the non-gendered bathrooms at KCI, I just go to the closest one and it seems it's been the women's as opposed to the genderless one. I like how they included genderless ones plus the sensory-friendly areas and more.

 

[Dznypal]

Just to set the story straight I’d just like to say I didn’t talk loud when I told my DH what happened. We were standing near our DD when we were talking

I do have major bathroom issues when not at home. I especially on planes. We just got home from Europe a few months ago 9 hr flight. I went to the bathroom once and it was in the middle of the night. I have go to the farthest stall Probably TMI but I wanted to try to get across a few more facts to set this straight.
That I didn’t cause a scene or talk loud.

 

[sasywtch]

There was an identical story going around about a school in the US. Turned out it was 100% false!

I don't know about the litter box but a kid in my grandson's class identified as a cat and would meow their answers. I'm really kind of done with the pc stuff. Anyone identifying as a cat needs psychological help and not school administrators going along. How about instead of putting the gender on the bathrooms, put a picture of the personal part and that's the bathroom you use. If you are an adult and want to transition, go for it. Not my business but until you're an adult, counseling would be good until you are 18. Sorry, just kind of done with all of it right now.

 

[sam_gordon]

It makes it easier to hide the drug use inside the stall or allow multiple people in a stall. Although I guess one could argue that they're doing it anyway so why does it matter. Portland has put a lot of money and design into loos which allow public access to restrooms yet discourages drug use. Police need to be able to see if an overdose in the stall has happened.

You may live in an area of the country where this isn't a concern. For some us, it's a bigger issue.

Still not sure how the drug use is hidden any better, unless someone is peaking through the gap, which is what many seem to complain about.

 

[sam_gordon]

I don't know about the litter box but a kid in my grandson's class identified as a cat and would meow their answers. I'm really kind of done with the pc stuff. Anyone identifying as a cat needs psychological help and not school administrators going along. How about instead of putting the gender on the bathrooms, put a picture of the personal part and that's the bathroom you use. If you are an adult and want to transition, go for it. Not my business but until you're an adult, counseling would be good until you are 18. Sorry, just kind of done with all of it right now.

I assume it was your child telling you about this. If really interested, I would ask more questions... where did they hear about it, etc.
https://www.reuters.com/article/fac...imals-and-disrupting-classrooms-idUSL1N2YN1O2

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't know about the litter box but a kid in my grandson's class identified as a cat and would meow their answers. I'm really kind of done with the pc stuff. Anyone identifying as a cat needs psychological help and not school administrators going along. How about instead of putting the gender on the bathrooms, put a picture of the personal part and that's the bathroom you use. If you are an adult and want to transition, go for it. Not my business but until you're an adult, counseling would be good until you are 18. Sorry, just kind of done with all of it right now.

Transitioning takes many year, with tons of counseling.

 

[Bad Pink Tink 2.0]

I'm really kind of done with the pc stuff. Anyone identifying as a cat needs psychological help and not school administrators going along. How about instead of putting the gender on the bathrooms, put a picture of the personal part and that's the bathroom you use.

Laverne Cox

 

[DisneyOma]

From the linked article on page 2:

"We can have a lawsuit from a transgender student or we can have lawsuits from Christian parents who have had enough of their child having to hold their bowels and not go to the restroom because they're afraid of what they're going to see," candidate Jeff Point told The Lima News last month.

So much wrong with this statement, but it explains the whole problem - "afraid of what they are going to see"??? Yeah, did these parents look at what their own kids are seeing and doing on Tik-Tok? The above mentioned parents are either homophobic or naïve, IMO.

 

[john7994]

From the linked article on page 2:

"We can have a lawsuit from a transgender student or we can have lawsuits from Christian parents who have had enough of their child having to hold their bowels and not go to the restroom because they're afraid of what they're going to see," candidate Jeff Point told The Lima News last month.

So much wrong with this statement, but it explains the whole problem - "afraid of what they are going to see"??? Yeah, did these parents look at what their own kids are seeing and doing on Tik-Tok? The above mentioned parents are either homophobic or naïve, IMO.

Agree … want to “save the children” take away their cellphones and not be concerned about them walking into a library these days … as if …

 

[sam_gordon]

From the linked article on page 2:

"We can have a lawsuit from a transgender student or we can have lawsuits from Christian parents who have had enough of their child having to hold their bowels and not go to the restroom because they're afraid of what they're going to see," candidate Jeff Point told The Lima News last month.

So much wrong with this statement, but it explains the whole problem - "afraid of what they are going to see"??? Yeah, did these parents look at what their own kids are seeing and doing on Tik-Tok? The above mentioned parents are either homophobic or naïve, IMO.

Or they think teenage boys are "whipping it out early or putting it away late". In which case, notify a teacher. Or point and laugh. Either way the message gets across that it's not ok.

 

[JLTraveling]

I can see empty rest areas at night perhaps. But the rest seems a bit over the top. I don't think my Mother ever really mentioned that sort of thing to me as a 5 ft female out all the time in the 80s. Drove everywhere, took public transit, worked, went to bars.

I actually do agree with the PP here, to some extent. I've never overly worried about public bathrooms, but it is one of the things on my radar (along with not leaving my drink unattended and walking with my keys in hand late at night). I'm fine with anyone using the bathroom next to me, and I'd rather have the company than use an apparently deserted public restroom. Like I said, I don't really worry, but I am aware.

 

[OKW8297]

I don’t care who uses the bathroom with me. Just wash your hands.