Problematic behavior in a lounge

[sam_gordon]

I disagree. Maybe I'm jaded by all the nonsmokers who have sat down next to me over the years in the ONLY smoking area on an entire cruise ship, and asked me to put out my already lit cigarette...but I think that as long as it's within the law/rules, people can behave as they please and other people don't have any business ASKING them to behave differently.

But we're talking about what someone has the RIGHT to do. Yes, someone has the RIGHT to ask you to put out a cigarette. That's "within the law/rules". You can accommodate them, ignore them, or tell them to pound sand. That's all in YOUR rights.

If you don't think they have the right to ask, I'd like to know what law/rule you feel they're breaking.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I disagree. Maybe I'm jaded by all the nonsmokers who have sat down next to me over the years in the ONLY smoking area on an entire cruise ship, and asked me to put out my already lit cigarette...but I think that as long as it's within the law/rules, people can behave as they please and other people don't have any business ASKING them to behave differently.

THIS! I'm also a smoker and can't stand the pious nonsmokers who infringe upon what I'm legally allowed to do in a space where I'm legally permitted to do it.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

If you don't think they have the right to ask, I'd like to know what law/rule you feel they're breaking.

the rules of common courtesy.

 

[sam_gordon]

Do they? Unless someone is screaming to the point of creating a disturbance, at which point others would also likely say something, why can't people just keep to themselves? Once I was in the queue for Hall of Presidents I think. I kissed my wife. Some a--hat asked me not to do that because "it's a family park." Huh? I told him the Disney version of "go f--- yourself" and that was that. Unless someone is directly affecting you (not just being annoying from another table), people should just live and let live.

You, along with previous poster, seem to be confused over what's a RIGHT vs what is RIGHT. Yes, someone can ask that you put out a cigarette or not kiss your wife. Just because they ask doesn't mean you need to obey.

 

[sam_gordon]

the rules of common courtesy.

HAHAHAHA That has nothing to do with the law though. The RIGHTS you and I both have means I (or you) can be as rude as I'd like.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

You, along with previous poster, seem to be confused over what's a RIGHT vs what is RIGHT. Yes, someone can ask that you put out a cigarette or not kiss your wife. Just because they ask doesn't mean you need to obey.

And I reiterate, it's against the rules of common courtesy to ask for something so stupid. But if I were to accept your line of thinking, then I have just as much of a right to tell them to "f--- off."

 

[Lord Manhammer]

HAHAHAHA That has nothing to do with the law though. The RIGHTS you and I both have means I (or you) can be as rude as I'd like.

I never mentioned the law. I was just talking about social mores.

 

[RedHead0186]

How do we know it was at Disney?

Good point, we don't. I assumed it was. Regardless, I think pretty much any lounge would still fall under the 'private company' category.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

And I reiterate, it's against the rules of common courtesy to ask for something so stupid. But if I were to accept your line of thinking, then I have just as much of a right to tell them to "f--- off."

I see his point though. Just because it's a stupid ask, you still have the right to ASK the stupid question... and yes you have the right to respond in any legal manner you choose to including cursing.

 

[sam_gordon]

And I reiterate, it's against the rules of common courtesy to ask for something so stupid. But if I were to accept your line of thinking, then I have just as much of a right to tell them to "f--- off."

And you do. Where have I said you didn't? You can ignore them, you can debate them, you can tell them to get out of your face.

 

[JLTraveling]

And you do. Where have I said you didn't? You can ignore them, you can debate them, you can tell them to get out of your face.

OK, fair enough. And bringing it back around to this thread, the OP should not be clutching pearls that the guys in question yelled at her to go away.

 

[Ms.Minnie]

But we're talking about what someone has the RIGHT to do. Yes, someone has the RIGHT to ask you to put out a cigarette. That's "within the law/rules". You can accommodate them, ignore them, or tell them to pound sand. That's all in YOUR rights.

If you don't think they have the right to ask, I'd like to know what law/rule you feel they're breaking.

If they are in the designated smoking area a non-smoker should not ask or expect the smoker to stop. The non-smoker has all the rest of the space to enjoy smoke free air. You start talking about RIGHTS, I think you are just trying to spit hairs to be deliberately contrary.

the rules of common courtesy.

I get what you're saying but telling someone to go F themself is not courteous behavior.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I see his point though. Just because it's a stupid ask, you still have the right to ASK the stupid question...

Ok, fine, I guess you do have the right to ask...but prepared for a s--tstorm when accosting the wrong person.

And you do. Where have I said you didn't? You can ignore them, you can debate them, you can tell them to get out of your face.

You mentioned the law. That was already covered when someone, maybe you, said that the 1st amendment has no factor here. Unless someone responds with a punch or other such actions, the law has no bearing. I was talking about etiquette. I just don't understand why people can't keep to themselves, especially since invariably these encounters turn bad. Where I come from, you walk up to someone in a bar and ask them to stop swearing? You're asking to get punched or possibly have a gun drawn.

 

[Lord Manhammer]

I get what you're saying but telling someone to go F themself is not courteous behavior.

Neither is policing how I talk.

 

[RedHead0186]

I just don't understand why people can't keep to themselves, especially since invariably these encounters turn bad. Where I come from, you walk up to someone in a bar and ask them to stop swearing? You're asking to get punched or possibly have a gun drawn.

Lol I say that goes both ways. I don't see how an appropriate response to being asked to stop swearing is to punch someone or draw a gun on them. Seems like an overreaction . . .

 

[Christine]

I guess what it boils down to is that decades ago, in general, we had a more "polite" society. I'm not saying that things didn't happen that were eyebrow raising but they happened with much less frequency. I think manners were taught that you didn't sit in a public place like a "lounge" and talk so loud that everyone could hear everything and use a constant stream of profanity, and well, we don't know what else. You didn't shout or whoop it up to the detriment of other guests' enjoyment. It just wasn't really done. Now it is. Some people have a harder time accepting the more brash norms we have and believe they are righteous to correct people's behavior. Can't really do that anymore as people have no care or shame about how they impact others.

 

[sam_gordon]

If they are in the designated smoking area a non-smoker should not ask or expect the smoker to stop. The non-smoker has all the rest of the space to enjoy smoke free air. You start talking about RIGHTS, I think you are just trying to spit hairs to be deliberately contrary.

Well, I think YOU brought up one's rights...

Freedom of speech?

Saying someone doesn't have a "right" to do something, when they do, is a slippery slope.

ETA: Look at all the "Karen" videos on YT where they claim someone doesn't have a right to do 'xyz'. I think it's a good thing to know what rights not only YOU have, but others as well (yes, they're the same, but many seem to forget that).

 

[Lord Manhammer]

Lol I say that goes both ways. I don't see how an appropriate response to being asked to stop swearing is to punch someone or draw a gun on them. Seems like an overreaction . . .

Well that's true, but I'm from Detroit, people have been assaulted or shot for much less.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Using profanity is not even a blip on my radar in terms of what the OP felt was so bad. In this case because the OP could easily leave that was what they should have done. I would not have reported it just due to using profanity.

OP you were in the wrong here at least by what you've described. Going up to tell random people they are making you uncomfortable by their talk is presumptuous and more about you.

There are a lot of things people say in public we don't agree with sometimes even more serious matters but unless something is criminal (which is why I think people are wondering what made the conversation problematic) we need to gauge our own roles in public and that is not to just go up to people and say "hey you're making me uncomfortable". That isn't to say everything flies and people just have to deal with it but I'm reserving that for much graver things than just language.

If you felt they were too disruptive overall I can understand letting management know and leaving it at that but it will take quite a bit for that to me the case for me to do that.

 

[pindecisive]

I'm curious if the "problematic" part was swearing, or if the content of what they were saying was somehow otherwise disturbing, like racism or violence.

Hi everyone, I left off what exactly they said as I felt it might be against TOS.

To clarify they were talking suggestively and sexually about genitalia, animals, and looking at genitalia.