Newborn has drugs in system...what now?

OP, I realize you're friend's with the maternal grandmother, but in reality the paternal grandparents and other paternal relatives would have the same standing to apply to foster as well. If they are local to where baby and mother reside, that may tip the scales in their favor if they pass the home study.
 


Anyone who does something they know will harm another, particularly their unborn child, is the lowest of low in my book. Addiction is not a free pass
If anything, maybe the grandmother could’ve done something, tipped off the authorities and had her incarcerated or something. A junkie is going to use, baby or not.
 
Anyone who does something they know will harm another, particularly their unborn child, is the lowest of low in my book. Addiction is not a free pass

I agree. There is help out there, even for those who can't afford it. If her being pregnant and being responsible for this baby's development wasn't enough for her to get clean then does the State really think wanting to be a mother after the baby is born will?
They should take the baby and keep her away for good. She has already proven she is unfit to be a mother.
 
I think she made a choice to use drugs. Nobody has ever died from never trying drugs.
Your have no idea how the addiction started, many times it starts with legal prescriptions. Thank goodness physicians are less like,y to prescribe opioids today, but at least two of my kids were given prescriptions (wisdom teeth and ankle surgery).
 


If anything, maybe the grandmother could’ve done something, tipped off the authorities and had her incarcerated or something. A junkie is going to use, baby or not.

No, the user needs to get the blame for her actions. Nobody forced those drugs into her body. OP states they thought the person was clean and lives in another state. No blame here except on the mother and father of the baby.
 
Your have no idea how the addiction started, many times it starts with legal prescriptions. Thank goodness physicians are less like,y to prescribe opioids today, but at least two of my kids were given prescriptions (wisdom teeth and ankle surgery).

People take those prescriptions every day without becoming drug addicts. After a few days of proper use, they decide they are ready to face the pain and bear it until they are healed. The ones who become addicts are the ones who use it differently than prescribed. 1-2 pills every 4 -6 hours as needed for pain does NOT mean "always take 2 pills every 4 hours, and really take it every 3.5 hours so it doesn't wear off" There has to be personal responsibility.
 
The real challenge is the ongoing issues both physical health, mental health and learning that this child will face. Sadly I work around this every day and my wife is a teacher. While the poor baby goes through detox now, it will face a life time of challenges. My wife and son were recently contacted as a distance member of her family was in jail due to theft and drugs, and at 18 already had two children that now needed homes. The State contacted just about everyone in her family with any blood relationship, even those out of State. Through not thrilled we put our hat in the ring if the children needed a home, thankfully another family member stepped up.

There has to be personal responsibility.
Bingo! This is something sorely lacking in this day and age too.
 
I agree. There is help out there, even for those who can't afford it. If her being pregnant and being responsible for this baby's development wasn't enough for her to get clean then does the State really think wanting to be a mother after the baby is born will?
They should take the baby and keep her away for good. She has already proven she is unfit to be a mother.

Actually the inpatient programs available for those without means are difficult to get into. I do see instances of parents working on treatment programs to regain custody of their children on waiting lists to get into inpatient treatment. As a general rule most people in this type of situation need to start with inpatient treatment to get the ball rolling. In our area what's available for those without means as far as outpatient treatment is very far from optimal, particularly for those fresh to the struggle not to use. A pregnant woman would get first priority here for an available inpatient bed. Completing inpatient isn't the whole battle, but it can unlock the best potential -- particularly because it's likely mental health treatment may well be the bigger need in the end and many of the best providers won't begin treatment of an active user.

I've seen enough of these cases over the years to know that it's too soon to sever the ties of parent and child based on the situation as is. Is it horrendous? Absolutely. Could this mother turn things around? Potentially -- with a lot of hard work. The mother isn't why I would consider leaving the door open at this point. I've seen enough of this type of case to realize the potential the relationship holds for the child and that's the future I'd be invested in protecting. I understand the odds of baby getting the dream of being raised by its sober and healthy mom are incredibly slim. I also understand the incredible opportunity they present to the child are worth leaving the door open for a bit to see if mom can manage to drag herself through, stumble around and work her way up to standing up tall and shouldering the burdens and the privileges of parenting in the way every child deserves.
 
But is it really fair to that baby?
The mom had 9 months to turn things around, and she chose not to do it. She endangered her baby for her selfish reasons, addicts don't get a pass- they are selfish. When they aren't high they damn well know what the right thing to do is, they even promise to do it....but they don't, even when the help is there.
And I'm speaking from experience, I've watched people throw away their life, and destroy their loved ones in the process because they were too selfish to get themselves help. It is a sad situation that this woman put herself before that baby, and she'll get a second chance to do it all again because the odds are very high that she will. That poor baby doesn't have a choice and they are they ones who will end up the worst off because of it.
I'm all for that mom getting herself clean, but I don't think the reward for trying should be custody of her child. IMO she doesn't deserve that reward for using while pregnant. I realize that the law doesn't work that way, but there is always wishful thinking.
 
Addiction is not a free pass

I hope you never have someone close to you battle addiction.

There is help out there, even for those who can't afford it.
even when the help is there.

Its not as simple as you've summed it up to be. This may vary by region, but here in upstate NY, the opioid crisis is an epidemic. Way more people seeking treatment than there are treatment options available. My cousin was a heroin addict, and my best friend is a drug counselor at a rehab facility. My friend provided lists of inpatient treatment centers and tried pulling strings herself, but to no avail. My cousin sat on the phone and called every one of them and there were no beds to be found anywhere. Waiting lists were in place at most of them. After three weeks of trying, she finally found a place that would take her that was over two hours from home, but she had to be there within an hour or they'd give the bed away. She tried to arrange medical transportation there, and it wasn't available until the next day. The bed was gone by then. Here was a girl who desperately wanted inpatient treatment, but the help was NOT there. Anyone who thinks treatment options are as easy as making an appointment and driving the addict there has never been in the thick of it. There really needs to be more options available, but the epidemic has grown at a rate that the country cannot keep up with.
 
I hope you never have someone close to you battle addiction.




Its not as simple as you've summed it up to be. This may vary by region, but here in upstate NY, the opioid crisis is an epidemic. Way more people seeking treatment than there are treatment options available. My cousin was a heroin addict, and my best friend is a drug counselor at a rehab facility. My friend provided lists of inpatient treatment centers and tried pulling strings herself, but to no avail. My cousin sat on the phone and called every one of them and there were no beds to be found anywhere. Waiting lists were in place at most of them. After three weeks of trying, she finally found a place that would take her that was over two hours from home, but she had to be there within an hour or they'd give the bed away. She tried to arrange medical transportation there, and it wasn't available until the next day. The bed was gone by then. Here was a girl who desperately wanted inpatient treatment, but the help was NOT there. Anyone who thinks treatment options are as easy as making an appointment and driving the addict there has never been in the thick of it. There really needs to be more options available, but the epidemic has grown at a rate that the country cannot keep up with.

I never said anything about it being easy.
It being hard to find isn't an excuse when you are pregnant. I don't care if you have to tie yourself to a bed and quit cold turkey that is what you do for that child. If you aren't willing to and you continue to use while pregnant you don't deserve any rights to that child. You shouldn't be allowed a second chance when you risk the life of your child, addict or not.

I'm not talking about an addict who just wants to use, they can do whatever they want. The difference here is that there is an innocent baby who is also "using". Sympathy and empathy go out the window when that is the case for me. YMMV.
 
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If anything, maybe the grandmother could’ve done something, tipped off the authorities and had her incarcerated or something. A junkie is going to use, baby or not.


No, they don’t jail women just for being pregnant & using drugs.
 
Yes, drugs are horrible and when you are in the midst of a storm, and it is a storm, it's easy to think that surely, there are rehabs all over the country with empty beds. There aren't. And it costs money. Lots and lots of money. Who should pay for it? The girl? With no funds? The grandparents looking at their own retirement? The taxplayers? This is a horrible horrible situation. No one ever stood up and thanked drugs for who he/she is today while accepting an award. Try your best to keep your kids from starting.
 
But is it really fair to that baby?
The mom had 9 months to turn things around, and she chose not to do it. She endangered her baby for her selfish reasons, addicts don't get a pass- they are selfish. When they aren't high they damn well know what the right thing to do is, they even promise to do it....but they don't, even when the help is there.
And I'm speaking from experience, I've watched people throw away their life, and destroy their loved ones in the process because they were too selfish to get themselves help. It is a sad situation that this woman put herself before that baby, and she'll get a second chance to do it all again because the odds are very high that she will. That poor baby doesn't have a choice and they are they ones who will end up the worst off because of it.
I'm all for that mom getting herself clean, but I don't think the reward for trying should be custody of her child. IMO she doesn't deserve that reward for using while pregnant. I realize that the law doesn't work that way, but there is always wishful thinking.

I understand what you're saying completely. I've sat in hearings where the arguments were being made for and against allowing more time, yet again, for a parent(s) to get it together and do it not say it and felt like standing up and telling everyone that enough was enough, pull the plug on the farce and give the kids a chance at a brighter future. I have actually had to bite my cheek bloody in the past to fight the urge. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of cases where the best option is to terminate parental rights.

Then I see the sides of cases involving the kids, and only the kids. It's been very eye opening over the years that some of the things I was certain to be so simply didn't work out to be so true if I was only looking at what's good for the kids. I love and I hate when my job involves this type of work because it challenges my soul and hurts my heart.

In a case like this one I'd be pushing hard for mom to be getting treatment, entering into serious long-term counseling, eventually pushing toward her to find employment, housing, maybe pursue education, etc -- all while being monitored like a hawk in regard to usage and demonstrating extreme determination to love and learn how to care for that baby. I'm not looking to "reward" mom -- and definitely not for using while pregnant. Can I comprehend doing that? No. But then again I can't comprehend using drugs at all. Does she have untreated mental health issues that pushed her right in the path of drugs? Those kinds of things need to be considered -- for baby's sake.

As far as your wishful thinking, consider that the justice you're looking for only ups the odds that mom will continue using -- and very well may wind up pregnant again in very short order. There's a lot of upside to mom being on a court ordered treatment program. At this point it offers the greatest possibility for a win for baby, a win for mom, a win for potential future babies, a win for society in general.
 
I never said anything about it being easy.
It being hard to find isn't an excuse when you are pregnant. I don't care if you have to tie yourself to a bed and quit cold turkey that is what you do for that child. If you aren't willing to and you continue to use while pregnant you don't deserve any rights to that child. You shouldn't be allowed a second chance when you risk the life of your child, addict or not.

I'm not talking about an addict who just wants to use, they can do whatever they want. The difference here is that there is an innocent baby who is also "using". Sympathy and empathy go out the window when that is the case for me. YMMV.


Doing that at certain points in the pregnancy could actually kill the unborn baby. Not a wise decision to try to get get off certain drugs without medical supervision while you are pregnant. The baby would be going through the exact same withdrawal in utero.
 
The real challenge is the ongoing issues both physical health, mental health and learning that this child will face. Sadly I work around this every day and my wife is a teacher. While the poor baby goes through detox now, it will face a life time of challenges. My wife and son were recently contacted as a distance member of her family was in jail due to theft and drugs, and at 18 already had two children that now needed homes. The State contacted just about everyone in her family with any blood relationship, even those out of State. Through not thrilled we put our hat in the ring if the children needed a home, thankfully another family member stepped up.

The bolded is very true. I was recently talking to an acquaintance that works with these kids throughout their adolescence and there are a lot of ongoing issues. It would be bad enough if the child just had to detox as a baby and they are free of side-effects for their live. Unfortunately they will have the physical symptoms of being born addicted to opioids (assuming that was the issue) for their life. Mothers really do set up their children for a rough life when they are born addicted. It is so sad to see someone do that to the person they should be willing to do anything for...even kick a hard habit.

I have no sympathy, absolutely zero, for drug users and that includes abuse of prescription drugs. I don't care about your story or justifications or whatever excuse you use.
 

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