Craptastic news and I need some help. I'm in a pickle!

LuvvsMickey

DIS Veteran
Joined
Apr 7, 2009
Hi. I used to post a lot and made some great friendships over the years which mostly have petered out so am back on the boards seeking, advice... I dunno. My brain is all over the place right now.

I'm in a pickle. My trips usually are pickles for one reason or another, but this one is a great big sour dill pickle and I'm in a catch 22 situation. We have the most amazing 12 day stay at the Polynesian starting September 1st that basically took having all the planets and moon aligned to pull this off. The logistics are insane. Our life is insane. Long story. :sad2: Anyway... this trip was to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary renewing our vows, and my 50th birthday. We've been looking forward to it for a year. My husband lives and works 2000 miles from home and we see each other about 8 to 9 weeks a year. We SO look forward to this trip every September. Then, out of nowhere, life threw up all over us last week and we're still trying to process it all.

It looks like I'll be traveling solo because, well, CANCER SUCKS and my husband is sick. Long story short, the only thing refundable for this trip is a Southwest credit for my husband which he will never use. Our DVC points are going to be stuck in a holding account and we won't have an opportunity to use them. There are other reasons for this trip that I don't wish to get into but my husband has decided for my own sanity and mental health, that I'm going to go alone. I'm okay with that. I think.

I'm Canadian and flying out of New Hampshire. I'll be there 12 days. I am torn between going and staying with my husband. It's a mess and I ask you please don't judge when you don't know all of the facts. (I'm so sick of being judged!) The last time I traveled solo, I had a wonderful time, but I was lonely at times and spent a lot of time in my room. I'm hoping to meet some people to maybe have a meal with, grab a coffee or even do the parks with. I just don't know how I feel about this. I'm a nervous person by nature and worry a lot. I need to do a grocery run when I arrive and am terrified to take Uber or Lyft alone. I do not want to use a delivery service because I don't know what I want until I'm physically in the store browsing. I know, irrational but it's how I am wired. Anyone else feel the same? Is there hope that I can meet with people to help keep me from self loathing in guilt that I am taking this trip alone?! (at my husband's insistence, I must add) Any suggestions people? I'm all open ears right now since this is going down in 13 days. :faint:
 
:hug:
If you were just going a few weeks later, I'd be happy to share my vacation with you.
My situation doesn't s*k as badly, but I'm also going alone this time because of hubby's health. Never been to Disney alone in 32 years. Don't want to, but he's insisting. And yeah, not much is refundable. :(

Our first thing to do after arrival was always to go grocery shopping, so I understand wanting to shop for yourself rather than let somebody second-guess what to get. But I think I'm going to use a delivery service, just getting some basic supplies. Partly because I'm not confident about Lyft-ing off property either; and that's always been an us thing - not sure I can do it alone without falling apart.
From what I read here, instacart does a pretty good job, and their shoppers can make substitutions if you request 'something similar'. They shop Publix, I believe, and while you can't actually (virtually) browse the store, they have an excellent website where you can browse what they carry, and check out the sales and weekly flyer. Check the Grocery Delivery thread in the Resort section for more info.

Don't feel guilty, though. Sometimes when life hands you lemons, you gotta take them and hurl them right back through life's windshield. Screw the lemonade making. Just remember to save a slice or two to put in your tea :coffee:
We'll go, and we'll have an okay time, if not a good one, and bring back stories to remember.
 
Is there no way that maybe your husband can just go and relax at the resort and not do any parks or tiring activities? If not I would go, take some time to just reflect and clear your head. It will be more helpful than you think. As for the groceries, I agree with the other person who mentioned Instacart. You browse online at what you want and it keeps you from getting a lot of nonsense purchases on a whim that you probably won't use. That would be one less stress out of the way rather than worrying about getting an uber. Take this time for yourself. Not all of us have the money to just fling out the window. Don't feel guilty, go do what you paid a ton of money to do and enjoy it. People are going to judge you no matter what move you make so who gives a crap! You don't owe anyone an explanation for what you do. Not now or ever.
 
All I can speak to is your concerns about Uber/Lyft. I've used Lyft in Orlando, Chicago, Las Vegas, Dallas, and Washington DC, alone and with others, a few minutes to an hour, 6 am and 2 am, and never had a problem. One of the drivers in Orlando even turned around to take me back to my resort when I forgot an event ticket, no charge. There's no money transaction in the car, a good security feature, and you get a picture of the driver and car so you know who to expect. The driver will greet you by name and confirm your destination plus you can track your route in the car. The cars are immaculate and usually stocked with water & charging ports.

The only trouble I've ever had was missing the pick-up point at two locations; i.e. Shedd Aquarium in Chicago and the Las Vegas airport, which would have been avoided if I'd asked the security guard where the ride share pick-up was. In both cases, the drivers knew the locations were confusing and called me with directions.
 


:hug:
If you were just going a few weeks later, I'd be happy to share my vacation with you.
My situation doesn't s*k as badly, but I'm also going alone this time because of hubby's health. Never been to Disney alone in 32 years. Don't want to, but he's insisting. And yeah, not much is refundable. :(

Our first thing to do after arrival was always to go grocery shopping, so I understand wanting to shop for yourself rather than let somebody second-guess what to get. But I think I'm going to use a delivery service, just getting some basic supplies. Partly because I'm not confident about Lyft-ing off property either; and that's always been an us thing - not sure I can do it alone without falling apart.
From what I read here, instacart does a pretty good job, and their shoppers can make substitutions if you request 'something similar'. They shop Publix, I believe, and while you can't actually (virtually) browse the store, they have an excellent website where you can browse what they carry, and check out the sales and weekly flyer. Check the Grocery Delivery thread in the Resort section for more info.

Don't feel guilty, though. Sometimes when life hands you lemons, you gotta take them and hurl them right back through life's windshield. Screw the lemonade making. Just remember to save a slice or two to put in your tea :coffee:
We'll go, and we'll have an okay time, if not a good one, and bring back stories to remember.

Oh boy. Annnnd cue the tears! What a roller coaster ride. You totally get me. The us thing. Yep. Today is his birthday and he's stuck in a hospital bed 12 hours away being poked and prodded. The guilt is sucking whatever joy is left right outta me. Hoping to get him home tomorrow night when he was originally supposed to fly home for his vacation. Fingers crossed.

I wish our dates were the same. I see you are going to OKW. That's our second favourite resort. :cloud9: I will look at instacart. Thank you for the suggestion. I'm sorry that your circumstances are similar. I do wish you an amazing solo trip as well. And many hugs. :hug:
 
Is there no way that maybe your husband can just go and relax at the resort and not do any parks or tiring activities? If not I would go, take some time to just reflect and clear your head. It will be more helpful than you think. As for the groceries, I agree with the other person who mentioned Instacart. You browse online at what you want and it keeps you from getting a lot of nonsense purchases on a whim that you probably won't use. That would be one less stress out of the way rather than worrying about getting an uber. Take this time for yourself. Not all of us have the money to just fling out the window. Don't feel guilty, go do what you paid a ton of money to do and enjoy it. People are going to judge you no matter what move you make so who gives a crap! You don't owe anyone an explanation for what you do. Not now or ever.

How I wish there were a way he could go. His doctors say absolutely no trip due to his immune system and medications he is on. :(

I will definitely look at Instartcart. And you are so right about people judging anyway. I don't explain myself to anyone anymore. I'm done with the narcissists and crazy people! I will take this time to stop and smell the roses. :) I just wish it were with my person.
 
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All I can speak to is your concerns about Uber/Lyft. I've used Lyft in Orlando, Chicago, Las Vegas, Dallas, and Washington DC, alone and with others, a few minutes to an hour, 6 am and 2 am, and never had a problem. One of the drivers in Orlando even turned around to take me back to my resort when I forgot an event ticket, no charge. There's no money transaction in the car, a good security feature, and you get a picture of the driver and car so you know who to expect. The driver will greet you by name and confirm your destination plus you can track your route in the car. The cars are immaculate and usually stocked with water & charging ports.

The only trouble I've ever had was missing the pick-up point at two locations; i.e. Shedd Aquarium in Chicago and the Las Vegas airport, which would have been avoided if I'd asked the security guard where the ride share pick-up was. In both cases, the drivers knew the locations were confusing and called me with directions.

Thank you for your response. We've used Uber together while at Disney but this would be a first for me taking one alone. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do it alone. I know it may sound silly, but it's an irrational fear I just can't shake. We'll see!
 


I'm so sorry for all that you're going through.

If this is something that would interest you, there's an unofficial event in MK on September 7 called Spooky Day in the Parks that encourages people to dress in spooky/villain/Halloween-themed clothing and meet up together - if that's something you would enjoy, it would be a great way to meet people. They have a FB page and their own website where they have a few different times scheduled for photos and for a group ride on Haunted Mansion. I'm not positive if I can make it to this one, but I go to a lot of events like this and I've made a lot of friends through other themed meetups, so I know they'll be very welcoming if you want to join in!
 
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this right now.

One suggestion about the groceries is hiring a car service that allows a grocery stop. There are many recommended on here. It might be a little more expensive, but maybe bring you more piece of mind as to the vetting of the driver? (vs. Lyft or Uber) Or renting a car from the airport, stopping for groceries, and dropping it back off at Disneyworld (isn't there a rental place by the swan or dolphin)?
 
I'm so sorry for all that you're going through.

If this is something that would interest you, there's an unofficial event in MK on September 7 called Spooky Day in the Parks that encourages people to dress in spooky/villain/Halloween-themed clothing and meet up together - if that's something you would enjoy, it would be a great way to meet people. They have a FB page and their own website where they have a few different times scheduled for photos and for a group ride on Haunted Mansion. I'm not positive if I can make it to this one, but I go to a lot of events like this and I've made a lot of friends through other themed meetups, so I know they'll be very welcoming if you want to join in!
[/QUOTE]

Thank you! Your suggestion is a great one and I feel awful saying this, but... I hate Halloween. Hate hate it! :rotfl2:I have to laugh, or I'll cry.
 
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this right now.

One suggestion about the groceries is hiring a car service that allows a grocery stop. There are many recommended on here. It might be a little more expensive, but maybe bring you more piece of mind as to the vetting of the driver? (vs. Lyft or Uber) Or renting a car from the airport, stopping for groceries, and dropping it back off at Disneyworld (isn't there a rental place by the swan or dolphin)?

Oh gosh no! I'm from a small city. I couldn't even drive the 12 hours to go be with my husband in the hospital. There's no way I will drive in Orlando alone. Nope nope. I'll have to either do Instacart or find the courage to Uber alone. Eeek!
 
Hi. I used to post a lot and made some great friendships over the years which mostly have petered out so am back on the boards seeking, advice... I dunno. My brain is all over the place right now.

I'm in a pickle. My trips usually are pickles for one reason or another, but this one is a great big sour dill pickle and I'm in a catch 22 situation. We have the most amazing 12 day stay at the Polynesian starting September 1st that basically took having all the planets and moon aligned to pull this off. The logistics are insane. Our life is insane. Long story. :sad2: Anyway... this trip was to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary renewing our vows, and my 50th birthday. We've been looking forward to it for a year. My husband lives and works 2000 miles from home and we see each other about 8 to 9 weeks a year. We SO look forward to this trip every September. Then, out of nowhere, life threw up all over us last week and we're still trying to process it all.

It looks like I'll be traveling solo because, well, CANCER SUCKS and my husband is sick. Long story short, the only thing refundable for this trip is a Southwest credit for my husband which he will never use. Our DVC points are going to be stuck in a holding account and we won't have an opportunity to use them. There are other reasons for this trip that I don't wish to get into but my husband has decided for my own sanity and mental health, that I'm going to go alone. I'm okay with that. I think.

I'm Canadian and flying out of New Hampshire. I'll be there 12 days. I am torn between going and staying with my husband. It's a mess and I ask you please don't judge when you don't know all of the facts. (I'm so sick of being judged!) The last time I traveled solo, I had a wonderful time, but I was lonely at times and spent a lot of time in my room. I'm hoping to meet some people to maybe have a meal with, grab a coffee or even do the parks with. I just don't know how I feel about this. I'm a nervous person by nature and worry a lot. I need to do a grocery run when I arrive and am terrified to take Uber or Lyft alone. I do not want to use a delivery service because I don't know what I want until I'm physically in the store browsing. I know, irrational but it's how I am wired. Anyone else feel the same? Is there hope that I can meet with people to help keep me from self loathing in guilt that I am taking this trip alone?! (at my husband's insistence, I must add) Any suggestions people? I'm all open ears right now since this is going down in 13 days. :faint:
Ok first of all your post made me laugh and cry and love you. Second if you would rather be with your husband, call Southwest and Disney and tell them just that, and I'm sure you WILL get a refund, and politely say under these circumstances I am asking you to review my account-cancer sucks, please don't put my points into holding. I repeat. REFUND, no holding. This is coming from a single mom of three boys who got very sick this year and had to cancel a trip minutes before stepping on a flight, cancer sucks. Been there, done that. Also have traveled solo. It's scary fun. And you can do it. Disney is mouse geared for that, pickle ornaments can be found at Epcot Germany. Groceries can be delivered. Feel free to pm me anytime. I'd hop on the plane and bring those groceries to you and give you a hug. We are disers. :grouphug:
 
Ok first of all your post made me laugh and cry and love you. Second if you would rather be with your husband, call Southwest and Disney and tell them just that, and I'm sure you WILL get a refund, and politely say under these circumstances I am asking you to review my account-cancer sucks, please don't put my points into holding. I repeat. REFUND, no holding. This is coming from a single mom of three boys who got very sick this year and had to cancel a trip minutes before stepping on a flight, cancer sucks. Been there, done that. Also have traveled solo. It's scary fun. And you can do it. Disney is mouse geared for that, pickle ornaments can be found at Epcot Germany. Groceries can be delivered. Feel free to pm me anytime. I'd hop on the plane and bring those groceries to you and give you a hug. We are disers. :grouphug:
Aww no, I'm sorry that I made you cry. You made me cry! Love for everyone! Hubby is insisting that I go and that's what I'm gonna do! :tiptoe:
Big hugs to you and your boys. I'd definitely take a hug. One day at a time, heck, one hour at a time. Each day is a gift.

So about that pickle ornament... see, I'm very OCD and my Christmas tree has to be just right and a hanging pickle definitely would cause me some anxious moments! :laughing: I will get my Werther's fix though. :teeth: 👍 Not to worry, I'll get it figured out somehow. Just wish I had someone to talk to while there. I think that's the hardest part. And now I'm thinking about my hubby and in that dark and twisty place again. I'm good for awhile and then, BAM. Gut punches me out of nowhere.
 
Hi there. So sorry to read of your troubles. I'll be there soloing 9/7-10. Sorry I won't have a vehicle to help you shop, but I am certain fellow Disers will have a perfect solution for you. I'm planning an Epcot evening on the 7th for F&W. My MK day is 9/8 and I am intend to take a break from the park @ Trader Sams at the Poly if you'd like to join me. I hear it is a fun place and maybe a good dose of Disney fun will make you smile. My AK day is the 9th, but I don't plan on arriving till afternoon.
Anyway, PM me if you care to maybe meet up at the Poly or perhaps a park. Be well and positive thoughts to you and your hubby.
 
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Hi there. So sorry to read of your troubles. I'll be there soloing 9/7-10. Sorry I won't have a vehicle to help you shop, but I am certain fellow Disers will have a perfect solution for you. I'm planning an Epcot evening on the 7th for F&W. My MK day is 9/8 and I am intend to take a break from the park @ Trader Sams at the Poly if you'd like to join me. I hear it is a fun place and maybe a good dose of Disney fun will make you smile. My AK day is the 9th, but I don't plan on arriving till afternoon.
Anyway, PM me if you care to maybe meet up at the Poly or perhaps a park. Be well and positive thoughts to you and your hubby.
Hi! Thank you for your kind words. :) The 7th and 8th are days off for me. We never do parks on the weekends and last year we went to F&W on a Saturday and I thought I'd be up on assault charges. :crowded: Too busy for me, I'm afraid. I've got AK planned for the 9th as well but an 8:20 fastpass. We'll see if I get out of bed early since I'll be solo and depressed. Gonna give it my all.
I would love to meet up at Poly. Whenever! We'll keep in touch for sure. Thank you. 🤗
 
Hi Tracy - I'm Jill by the way. I'll send you a PM. The Poly sounds good and maybe I can change things around to meet you at the AK at some point. Talk soon.
 
Hi Tracy,

I just do not have the words to articulate the feelings that the situation you describe brings to heart and mind. I will be at the Contemporary solo Sept 2nd till the 7th ... and it’s my birthday trip too. I am only a couple Monorail stops away if I can help. Regards , Alan.
 
I'm a non driving solo guest and I used Instacart for the first time in March, they were excellent. I ordered the goods in the morning and a couple of hours later I got back to my room to find my groceries waiting. I used to use Garden Grocer, but, despite super reliability they charge way more for everything and the choice isn't as good on the website.

Don't feel guilty about doing a solo trip, people just love to judge, the only opinion that matters is your husband's and if he is encouraging you to go and get some you time then go ahead and relax, fortunately keeping in touch with him will be so much more easier than it used to be so you can set your mind at rest every time you call him.

Have fun and don't stress, my first solo trip I worried about feeling lonely and while it does happen it can also be nice to just wander around the resorts and parks at your own pace and people watching can be fun. Not to mention a lot of the time you will have someone strike up a conversation with you. Guests and CMs will happily have a chat.

Trader Sams is a terrific place, but, as a solo lady I did feel a little awkward there despite the wonderful atmosphere and terrific drinks. If you feel up to it I would take up Gerweniel's offer to meet up there.
 
Thank you all. Just wanted to acknowledge that I've read messages but still reeling from this news and trying to find a way around this. He's definitely not going and I'm having a difficult time accepting that. :sad1: We still haven't seen his oncologist at home yet,(he lives and works elsewhere which is where he was diagnosed) so things are really up in the air right now. I'll post at some point with more details. Just not sure when. I appreciate your responses and kind words. Hugs and thank you!
 
I haven't read all the posts. But want to say that I am sorry you have to go through this. :hug:

Also...my MIL was diagnosed stage 4 appendix cancer (yes, there is such a thing...crazy) a few months before a scheduled trip for March 2018. I had booked flights via SW for them and a DVC room for them. MIL had to undergo several rounds of chemo and then have a massive surgery (called mother of all surgeries as it is a doosy). Luckily I could cancel the DVC before the 30 days. But MIL had to get a doctor note to send to Southwest and they refunded part and then I had used a voucher for part and that was given to them in credit for future use (actually anyone could use it because it was my voucher from a cancelled flight). But the part we paid with a CC was refunded with the doctor's note saying she couldn't travel due to cancer treatments. Call SW and they will work with you.

As far as the DVC...could you maybe shorten the trip? It would put some points in holding but maybe you can do a HHI trip in a few months? Fall/winter is easy to book at HHI and I used holding points that way once.
 

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