Daughters who have lost their Mother

[kimis]

I lost my mom/best friend a little over three years ago and it is still painful. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer so we only had her for two and a half months after the diagnoses. We would talk on the phone about 2-4 times a day. She was a great mom/grandma/greatgrandma and best friend anyone could ask for! I miss her more than others know. I am glad she is in Heaven and in no more pain. I know I will see her again someday but for right now somedays are better than others.

 

[KristiMc]

I lost my mom on June 9, 2009. It has been hard. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Her birthday would have been this past Tuesday so we had the holidays and then birthday back to back.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Oh my.. to you.
Hang in there. The first year without her will be the toughest but when you feel sad look back on the good times you had. And know that she is with you everyday.

I lost my mom this past Thanksgiving day. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March. This Christmas was almost unbearable. My mom was scheduled to leave for Disney the Monday after she was diagnosed but cancelled to start her treatments. She finished her chemo and radiation treatments in Sept. We all went to Disney on Sept 17. She was a trooper. We sat down for dinner on Saturday Sept.19 for dinner at the Cape May Cafe and without warning she did not know who we were and where she was. We called an ambulance she was taken to Dr. Phillips hosp and she had 3 seizures. It turned out the cancer had spread to the brain quicker and more than they had thought. She was in 3 different hospitals in Fla ( all more amazing than the next) for a month until we flew her home on an air ambulance. My brother and I were taking turns flying back and forth to Fla. (we are from NY) The time we had with her in Disney was amazing. We had dinner in the castle the first night and we made it to the Halloween party the second. I am grateful my children will have those memories of her. She passed away after midnight on Thanksgiving. It has been rough and I feel so sorry for my dad. I miss her more and more each day. I could not believe when I saw this thread. Thanks for letting me share. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

The first round of holidays without a loved one can be very tough and you made it though it Even though she was not here physically she was here and always will be. She is watching over you.

I lost my mom on June 9, 2009. It has been hard. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Her birthday would have been this past Tuesday so we had the holidays and then birthday back to back.

 

[Microcell]

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 1987, and died 3 days after my 16th birthday on January 8 1988. Seeing her quickly slipping away through that Christmas was very difficult to watch. I was very close to my mom, and have felt so alone since she has been gone. Christmas has been such a sad time for me for many,many years. It was always a reminder of watching my mom dying. It is just in the last couple of years that I have started to appreciate Christmas again. Going to Disney and seeing all the beautiful decorations, and frankly, being able to get away from home has helped me get through the season. Even after all these years, I still miss my mom and think of her every day. It is such a huge loss and has changed me and my life in so many ways.

It's kind of nice to be able to write this here, because after 23 years, I feel like I'm not allowed to be sad anymore.

I know just about exactly how you feel..

I lost my mom Dec 16, 1988, two days after my 16th birthday very suddenly of a heart attack. I am going on 23 years of not liking my birthday or Christmas. Glad you can get away and I bet that would help me too, but my DH works retail so we are stuck at home or being with his family on Christmas. I feel sad every year during that time especially so you are not alone!

 

[shelbys mommy]

I lost my dad to suicide Sept. 2, 2000. I lost my best friend, my entire world when my mom died on May 10, 2005. She had Leukemia. I was not pregnant for my daughter at the time, but I told her that I knew why she was leaving me & that she was going take care of Shelby for me til it was Shelby's time to be with us. She smiled & nodded yes. I told her to tell Shelby that I love her & that I will see her soon. My mom smiled again. She took my hand, looked at me & went to Heaven not long after. It was the most beautiful moments in my life & I cherish it always. Fast forward 2 1/2 years & I'm pregnant. 4 days after what would have been my mom's 48th birthday & the day after my 28th birthday, we found out that the baby was a girl. My mom sent me my Shelby! My mom's name was Lisa with the middle name Ann. My princess' name is Shelby Lisa-Ann. I cry all the time. I miss her so much. I have 2 boys & my mom wanted me to have a girl I think more than I did. One of Shelby's nicknames is my angel.

 

[JandJ]

Big hugs to all

I lost my mom unexpectedly in June 2005, just 4 months before my wedding. She was only 65. We were so close it was ridiculous! There were so many times that we didn't even have to speak - we just knew what the other one was thinking. We had so many inside jokes that I'm sure we drove other people crazy with our giggle fits and silly faces. I miss that connection with her so much.

The last thing mom and I did together was buy my wedding gown. The gown came in (over a month early), on the day my mom passed away. I went for the fitting the next day with 2 friends and just cried and cried. Thank God for my now-husband or I would never have made it through that first year.

Mom and I went shopping together and out to lunch all the time. Even when I lived at home in my 20's we spoke on the phone a few times a day and had dinner together, with my father, every night. I moved to Orlando in 2004 and mom and I were on the phone at least 4 times a day, every day, and saw each other at least one weekend a month. A week after she passed I was in Target, looking at a skirt, and thought "will this look o.k. on me?" and instinctively dialed mom. She was my clothes critic my entire life! Of course it went right to VM. I lost it. Right there in Target. I called then-DF and he talked me through it. It was horrible. I've had a lot of times like that in the last 4 years, but it does get a little easier with time. Mom was Christmas! That first Christmas without her, DH took me away to Savannah. We stayed in a little B&B and I got through that holiday. I would not have made it through if I'd been with my daddy and siblings.

I volunteer at Hospice and attended a class for adult daughters who have lost a parent (I've lost both) and our counselor said it best - You never get over it, but it becomes a part of you, and you learn to live with it.

 

[Twende]

I am so sorry for all your losses. This entire thread needs a tissue warning. You are all witting such very touching things about your mothers!

I have lost my mother too but not in the same way as all of you. My mother was the most incredible being who was so giving and hard working. She was a fantastic parent and grandmother, and just plain one of my favorite people!

She left me slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece until all that I loved and cherished was gone. She has Alzheimer's. It is an unforgiving disease.

I miss my mom. I do not know the difficult preschooler who now has possession of her body and mind.

 

[ACDSNY]

I am so sorry for all your losses. This entire thread needs a tissue warning. You are all witting such very touching things about your mothers!

I have lost my mother too but not in the same way as all of you. My mother was the most incredible being who was so giving and hard working. She was a fantastic parent and grandmother, and just plain one of my favorite people!

She left me slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece until all that I loved and cherished was gone. She has Alzheimer's. It is an unforgiving disease.

I miss my mom. I do not know the difficult preschooler who now has possession of her body and mind.

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's so I understand what you mean about it being a slow drawn out process until the person that's is left is no longer the person you knew.

I also agree this thread needs a tissue warning.

 

[JandJ]

Twende - I am so sorry for what you are going through. It must be like losing the person twice - once while their body is still here and then when they leave this Earth.

 

[circhead]

I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. I lost my mom Nov. 12, 1984 she was buried 3 days later on my 26th birthday. I still miss her.

She was the warmest, most caring person I have ever known. 10 years before she died, my brother was murdered and buried on Halloween. (I don't really look forward to any of the big holidays even to this day. I go into a funk that starts in October and I never seem to shake until after Christmas every year.) I turned 16 2 weeks after we buried my brother, and when I got up that morning my mom had a huge bouquet of flowers and a special charm my grandmother had left her to give me on my 16th birthday. I looked at her and said "Are you kidding, how did you ever remember all of this?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, " Michael, I can't do anything for anymore he's in God's hands. But you, Your're still here and what kind of mother would I be if I let your 16th birthday go without a word or a gesture?".


God, I still miss her and I'm so sorry everytime I look at my 3 kids (now mostly grown) and know that my mom never saw any of them and what is missing from their lives not being able to have had her as part of it.

 

[shoes99]

Wow, so glad I came across this post today. I lost my Mom in 2001 due to complications due to early onset alzheimers. Tomorrow January 23rd is her birthday. She was sick for 13 years and in a nursing home for her last 4 years. I miss her terribly. She got sick at age 66 and died at age 79.
One of my best trips with her was our last trip to WDW together... The illness was so new to us that I almost lost her near Universal when she walked out of our 1st floor Holiday Inn room, but my memories of that trip will last forever.
Hugs to everyone .....
Michele

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.

 

[kimis]

At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.

Shelly HANG IN THERE!!!!! Life can be very hard sometimes but it gets better. Is there someone---a couseler, pastor, friend--- you can talk too! Others need you to wake up in the morning! If your mom passed recently than call hospice they have couseling. Just talk to someone. I know when I feel alone (mom passed three years ago and dad passed three weeks ago) i reach out to God. You aren't alone!

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

My mom passed in 1993. I am suppose to start a new job in the morning and now i think its not the job for me. For the past 3 years I have worked part time and enjoyed it. Now this job is full time and I am not ready to make that switch. I had been working at a job where we had flex time so I did not have to worry about traveling in the bad weather and getting to work on time. Now I will. Although I will on be working 10 miles from home verses my old job that was 30 miles from home.
I am really headed in the direction of not going in the morning.

Life is just so hard. I had dealing with all this change. I would really rather not deal with it or life anymore.

 

[moepanz]

Oh my.. to you.
Hang in there. The first year without her will be the toughest but when you feel sad look back on the good times you had. And know that she is with you everyday.

Shelly F. Above is what you said to me about my post. I know it is tough and I have been having a rough couple of days as well but, I know and I feel it will get better. I have had a lot of things to keep me occupied since my mothers death. Not all good. I just have to keep going and so do you. I know my mom, and I am sure your mom too would not want you to feel the way you feel tonight. It is hard. Some days better than others but there are some good days and I hope tomorrow is a good one for you. Please keep in touch!

 

[circhead]

My mom passed in 1993. I am suppose to start a new job in the morning and now i think its not the job for me. For the past 3 years I have worked part time and enjoyed it. Now this job is full time and I am not ready to make that switch. I had been working at a job where we had flex time so I did not have to worry about traveling in the bad weather and getting to work on time. Now I will. Although I will on be working 10 miles from home verses my old job that was 30 miles from home.
I am really headed in the direction of not going in the morning.

Life is just so hard. I had dealing with all this change. I would really rather not deal with it or life anymore.

Shelly there is a time in life that I also have felt this way. My younger years were horrible. My dad was an abusive alcoholic, My earliest memory of him is being thrown through a window at the age of 4. I had a brother murdered when he was only 18, I hesitate to say this because it's sooooo personal and not something I really want to share on this wide open forum but here goes - I am a rape survivor, I nursed my mother through her last illness (pancreatic cancer) and can still cry over some of the things that happpened during it. I remember bathing her and her saying she was the mom and the one suypposed to be taking care of me - I told her it was just my turn. I went to counseling and learned to let go of all the anger and pain. I truly believe that God doesn't send us more than we can handle but there have been times I've yelled at Him and reminded Him I'm not as strong as He thinks I am.

Please realize that you will get through whatever troubles you are having and life really is worth enjoying! I met my husband of 28 years after the drama of my childhood and he truly is a gift from God to me.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.

Shelly HANG IN THERE!!!!! Life can be very hard sometimes but it gets better. Is there someone---a couseler, pastor, friend--- you can talk too! Others need you to wake up in the morning! If your mom passed recently than call hospice they have couseling. Just talk to someone. I know when I feel alone (mom passed three years ago and dad passed three weeks ago) i reach out to God. You aren't alone!

Shelley, all I can offer right now is this . I am thinking about you right now and hope you decided to go into your new job, they can be very scary, but exciting. I had to change from nights to days last summer and move to a different location with new people and that was very hard for me, I don't do well around new people and an very shy, but it all worked out very well and I am very happy with my job now.

I know I will have some of the same feelings you have now, later this week, Feb 11 is my mom's birthday, the second one since I lost her and it will again be very difficult. Now, I don't wish I was with her, that would hurt so many of the people that love me and need me here, but I sure wish I could give her a hug, My supervisor's birthday is the same day, so I will just bake a cake for her and hope it helps me through.

Suzanne

 

[Shelly F - Ohio]

OMG its like working for Hitler... No breaks, on my feet all day, don't get caught sitting or you will get reported, no drinks allow accept during lunch in the lunch room. It is just horrible.

Hubby said to not go back. Since my old job had cut my hours to 1-2 days a week because they had nothing for me to do is the reason why I wanted to leave. So it was no big lose for me. Hubby said to go and volunteer which is what I had said back in Nov when the cutting of hours occured.

I really truely think I was having preminitions about this place and that is why I was having a hard time going to it in the first place

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

OMG its like working for Hitler... No breaks, on my feet all day, don't get caught sitting or you will get reported, no drinks allow accept during lunch in the lunch room. It is just horrible.

Hubby said to not go back. Since my old job had cut my hours to 1-2 days a week because they had nothing for me to do is the reason why I wanted to leave. So it was no big lose for me. Hubby said to go and volunteer which is what I had said back in Nov when the cutting of hours occured.

I really truely think I was having preminitions about this place and that is why I was having a hard time going to it in the first place

That is just unreal, I worked in a doctors office like that one time and it was horrible and I am a larger girl and standing just about killed my feet, I stil suffer today because of it, I was glad when they let me go, but that was back in 1997 if I remember correctly. Employers need to realize they can't treat people like that, I guess they figure there are desperate people they can replace you easily. I wouldn't go back if I didn't HAVE to.

I am glad to "hear" that you sound better today.

Suzanne