Disarming Rude People at WDW (aka, how not to let rudeness "Harsh Your Mellow")

[taitai]

You say you wanted to make the most of your last day at WDW, well, so did they!! It's not bad parenting, it's making the most of having to check out of your hotel at 11am, plane doesn't leave until late, no place for "down time," etc. From your post, I assume you don't have children and have never been in such a situation...until you have kids, you have no right to judge ANYONE'S parenting skills!

Actually, I disagree. If you know you are going to have an evening flight and you have little kids, then don't "get up at the crack of dawn" and keep your kids "going all day". The results are entirely predictable and you really do NOT have to be a parent to know that it is going to result in tired, cranky kids. Also, any parent knows that there are ways to make downtime when downtime is needed even at Disney or in an airport. I do have kids, I have been in that situation and I agree that the parents could have made better choices. However, in deference to the parents in this situation, perhaps they didn't choose that flight and their original, more appropriately scheduled one was cancelled.

taitai

 

[schoen]

I have only encountered rudeness by another guest once. We were making our way to our seats to see Fantasmic! Just as I was sitting down I noticed a woman trying to get my attention. When I acknowledged her I was expecting her to tell me that I had dropped something or something of that nature. Nope. She said in a very sarcastic voice "I just wanted to thank you for bumping me with your elbow".

Now, I am good person, and had I realized that I bumped her I certainly would have apologized immediately. I am the sort of person who apologizes to people who egregiously bump into me!

I had no interest in starting a scene in the middle of the theater, so I just said (I am ashamed to say it was in a cold voice) "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I hit you".

I felt like I was in the twilight zone, I couldn't believe it was happening! Oh well. It just ruined our moment, not our day!

 

[labattblue]

The parents may have had the stamina for a long day at the parks followed by the airport experience, but that was clearly beyond their toddlers ability.

To spend the extra hours in park at the expense of their ability to enjoy the day seems selfish to me.

How do you know that they didn't have an enjoyable day at the parks when you only encountered them on the airplane? For all you know it could have been the best day of their vacation!

 

[MassJester]

How do you know that they didn't have an enjoyable day at the parks when you only encountered them on the airplane? For all you know it could have been the best day of their vacation!

Which ended very badly for them.

 

[minmate]

I like the pixie dust comment and the idea of ignoring rude behavior when you can. However, I am not sure I want to set the example to my children to "roll over and let people talk to them rudely."

I don't want to be rude back to people but I'd like to know more about things to say to diffuse that feeling you get -- you know the little black rain cloud that can hang over you after experiencing something less than pleasant....

I also don't agree w/the comment that if you're not looking for rude people, they wont' find you. Usually, that's why they take me so off guard - because I wasn't expecting it at all. This goes for time in and out of Disney.


Now, the person on here who made the passive-aggressive remark to the parent with crying kids on the plane, I view your remark as just as rude as the choice of the parents to keep their kids running all day. You had the choice to hold your tongue but chose to say something hurtful. Of course it was your choice to express your opinion - just as it was their choice deciding what to do with their day. However, I have to wonder that if you ruined her day just as much - or more - than she (or her kids) ruined yours. If that was your intent, then I guess you are at peace with that thought.

As far as claiming kids' behavior is predictable - I will say I wholeheartedly disagree. Of course you can anticipate, but this is a debate for another thread. I don't really want to go there with this - the thread is meant to discuss ways to get on with your day in spite of less than magical moments trying to nudge their way in. I know they don't happen every ten minutes -- but I'm looking for other people's stretegies in getting past the bad taste in their mouth left by these encounters....

 

[MassJester]

Now, the person on here who made the passive-aggressive remark to the parent with crying kids on the plane, I view your remark as just as rude as the choice of the parents to keep their kids running all day. You had the choice to hold your tongue but chose to say something hurtful. Of course it was your choice to express your opinion - just as it was their choice deciding what to do with their day. However, I have to wonder that if you ruined her day just as much - or more - than she (or her kids) ruined yours. If that was your intent, then I guess you are at peace with that thought.

There is some irony to the fact that my expressing an opinion as to their conduct is considered rude by people who have felt it fine to express an opinion as to mine.

 

[CoachBagFanatic]

We don't let anyone or anything ruin our vacation. It might take some of our time but that would be all. Engaging in confrontation is not a good thing especially in front of children unless the situation is warranted such as in my previous post. Like I said, it was more of a conversation (with me being the louder of the two) but it wasn't an in your face thing. I would not do that in front of my DS. I am sure there will be more responses on this thread that will give you and others such as myself great ideas when situations arise. Good thread.

 

[DisneyTigers]

You could have gritted your teeth and moved on, or given the wornout, probably already embarrassed enough, mom a little pixie dust. Your words, however, I'm sure hit her hard after a long day with UNPREDICTABLE toddlers. You walked off feeling a bit smug that you know more than she does about how to parent her children and that you put her in her place. She, on the other hand, was probably hurt by your comments, and ended her vacation questioning her parenting skills in the midst of circumstances that for all you know couldn't be helped, and aside from that 2 hour plane ride you know nothing about. THAT is the difference. You could have kept your mouth shut, but chose to be rude in the midst of someone else's already difficult situation. We're just calling you on that.

 

[ang]

I think you have to remember, You will meet a lot more nice people in disney than bad."

On last trip, several times I end up talking to couple of women about DH"s , leave thing to us women. WOW! I talk out aloud what I was thinking, Like, ok, as always I will take care it. We were staying line to Liberty Tavern for dinner, will He wanted to get out of the heat and went inside. So, I stood there waiting..and this lady said, why isn't men can get away with that. Then we started to laugh.

I met a lot more really nice people then rude.

One year we met a rude person, I had my say, then thats it.

I think some People forget that everyone at WDW is on vacation. We all point money into it and want to see everything.

I learn, just smile and we pretty much aginore them. It's not worth wasting your time.

I think, parades are the worst...we avoid them now.

 

[MassJester]

We're just calling you on that.

I actually recognized what you were doing the first time you posted, but thanks.

I don't agree with your assesment, made from the comfort of your desk chair, but I appreciate your right to express your opinion.

 

[labattblue]

I actually recognized what you were doing the first time you posted, but thanks.

I don't agree with your assesment, made from the comfort of your desk chair, but I appreciate your right to express your opinion.

WOW! You are really a piece of work. You have reached a level in life that the rest of us can only dream about. I'm surprised you have come down from your throne to converse with the rest of us.

 

[DisneyTigers]

And I don't agree with yours, from your ability to travel alone without diaper bags, strollers, extra luggage, sippy cups, baby wipes, cheerios, oh yeah, and two, three, or four (yes, overtired and overstimulated) children. Until you've done so, you have a right to your own ignorance, I suppose, and so I forgive you for that. Here's some pixie dust, and have a magical day!!

 

[CoachBagFanatic]

 

[ang]

I with you...

 

[MassJester]

I with you...

Don't forget a beverage, the popcorn gets salty

 

[luvthemouse71]

Last trip was 10 days long and all CMs were great. I was scared to death we'd get run over by an ECV, but no accidents happened. The only time I came close to "danger"....meaning there was a potential for losing my temper was when a woman purposely rammed my foot with an EMPTY stroller to get me to move over so she could get by.

Without getting into specifics and logistics, YES, I am 100% certain she did it on purpose. The crowd had sort of jammed up a bit and there was not enough room for her to get by between me and the person on the other side. To get by, she needed me to move over or for the other person to move over, but in a crowd, it's just not that easy. Not to mention, she'd only gain a few feet, because the log jam was in front of us as well.

Just before rammed my foot, I happened to turn my head and look backward and I saw her look directly down at my foot and AIM at it! She actually had to turn the stroller a bit and go out of her way to achieve this. With her eyes fixed on my foot, she turned that stroller and headed straight for my foot! This all happened within a few seconds, so I didn't have time to react. She hit my foot and luckily, I had sneakers on so it didn't hurt too much. But it did hack me off royally.

I moved over a bit and let her squeeze past. She slowly edged ahead and the devil on my shoulder was sooooo much louder than the angel on the other shoulder that as she passed, I gave her a little kick in the ankle bone. Then I assumed the face of an angel and kept walking. She never did anything, so I'm pretty sure she knew exactly what had happened. It was all very low key. DH never even realized it happened either.

I don't know if that's in the intended spirit of the thread, but it IS how I kept the rudeness from getting to ME. I'd have been chapped all day if I'd let someone get away with purposely aiming a stroller at me and hitting me with it. This way, within a few seconds I was all better. Some will say I should be ashamed.....But I'm not.

LOL, good for you. Had she done that to me, she may have gotten worse than a little kick in the ankle. I can let a lot of stuff go but I'm one of these people that tolerates a lot until you do something heinous, then I lose it. You did well, you don't want to be too obvious in taking revenge like the Tea Cup lady a few months back! I believe she beat the snot out of some woman who cut in front of her at the Tea Cups and she got arrested.

 

[soccerchick]

This thread has diverged into two distinct discusson topic paths, I think. The original about dealing with deliberately rude and inconsiderate vacationers and the second about dealing with cranky, tired kids (and our ability to deal, or not, with them). This second topic makes me want to do a little PSA.

As I've learned from these boards, there are LOTS of reasons kids seem to have meltdowns. There are so many kids with special needs, I try to remind myself when I see a difficut parent/child situtation that things don't always appear to be what they really are. Your assumptions of bad parenting choices could be the very last reason on the list.

 

[luvthemouse71]

I have no objection to their making the most of their last day--it's just doing at other people's expense that bothers me. The result of their decisions was entirely predictable, and therefore flawed.

I never blame children when it's obvious they are overtired and cranky. I do however, agree with you that some parents don't seem to realize that these little ones just reach a point where they've had it, they need a nap. Even at home you can see it, toddlers out at the mall at 10:30 pm, being dragged along by the hand, and they're so tired that their eyes are red and they can't walk without stumbling.

I also agree that you can kind of figure if you've had your little one up all day, they are going to fuss. At this point, the vacation is not fun for anyone, especially the kid, who is being dragged around, because the parents spent thousands to take their kids there, and dang it, they're getting their money's worth.I also sympathized, because I always end up sitting next to the crying baby on the plane! Can't be helped, not the baby or parents fault,but annoying none the less. I personally believe that it's kind of silly to take really small kids to WDW and therefore have to drag around the child, the sippy cups, the cheerios and the stroller that doubles as a small hotel room, but that's my opinion and a whole other flame filled thread, LOL. You did the DIS equivalent of poking a large bear with a stick, Dude, (the "Mommy brigade" can be particularly vicious)but good for you for standing your ground.

PS.. Your siggie is too funny

 

[MassJester]

PS.. Your siggie is too funny

Thanks for the kind remarks.

And have fun at the Poly! It's on my list of places to experience.

 

[DisneyTigers]

This thread has diverged into two distinct discusson topic paths, I think. The original about dealing with deliberately rude and inconsiderate vacationers and the second about dealing with cranky, tired kids (and our ability to deal, or not, with them). This second topic makes me want to do a little PSA.

As I've learned from these boards, there are LOTS of reasons kids seem to have meltdowns. There are so many kids with special needs, I try to remind myself when I see a difficut parent/child situtation that things don't always appear to be what they really are. Your assumptions of bad parenting choices could be the very last reason on the list.

What if someone is deliberately rude to a parent with a tired, cranky kid?
Do we need another thread for that?? just kidding.

I agree...I've been in so many situations with my kids during which their behavior and/or my reaction could be confusing for curious on-lookers. But at the end of the day, I am the best judge as to how to handle my own children, and other parents are usually the same for theirs. It's extremely rude for strangers to comment on others' ability to parent, and that's why the above conversation took place.