Disarming Rude People at WDW (aka, how not to let rudeness "Harsh Your Mellow")

[disneyjunkie]

I had an evening flight brooked from Orlando to Boston. It was scheduled to get me in late, but allowed me to make the most of my day at WDW. When I got onto the flight, there was a parent with 2 young children behind me with the other parent in the seat across the aisle.

The kids were over tired, and there were a few melt downs on the flight home. No one said anything, but the antics were long and loud.

When we arrived in Boston, their mother said to me, "I hope the kids weren't to bothersome, we had them up at the crack of dawn and kept going all day long."

I assured her that I wasn't annoyed at the children, after a day like that their disposition was entirely understandable. I did add that I was, however, disturbed by the obvious bad parenting that set the children up for failure.

I'm a parent and I agree with you.

 

[DisneyTigers]

I personally believe that it's kind of silly to take really small kids to WDW and therefore have to drag around the child, the sippy cups, the cheerios and the stroller that doubles as a small hotel room, but that's my opinion and a whole other flame filled thread, LOL.

:

So, I take my 9 year old and my 5 year old, and leave my 2 and 3 year olds at home? It's a family vacation destination...if you kids bother you that much, find another place to go.

I never drag my children anywhere; they LOVE to travel, but, that does require extra-ness that I'm willing to deal with... I wasn't complaining about it at all, just making a point.

 

[Brenle]

I don't typically get people being very rude to me (I'm 6' 4" & 250 lbs.) but instead of saying anything back to someone who is rude towards me or my family, I'll usually laugh in their face & they get so infuriated that they walk off.

You sound like my DH. Most people don't try to cut us in line or at a parade. And if they do, he speaks up and they leave. It does help to be big.

And I think the PPers have zeroed in on two key scenarios where you encounter the most rude people.

1, any parade and 2, getting bumped from behind with a stroller.

Everyone wants a good spot at a parade, no matter when they arrive, and everyone is in a hurry to get from point A to point B.

And I agree with a PP. I don't want to teach my children to be passive in situations where someone intentionally hits you, so I stop right there, turn around. Then I'll hear "sorry."

 

[luvthemouse71]

So, I take my 9 year old and my 5 year old, and leave my 2 and 3 year olds at home? It's a family vacation destination...if you kids bother you that much, find another place to go.

I never drag my children anywhere; they LOVE to travel, but, that does require extra-ness that I'm willing to deal with... I wasn't complaining about it at all, just making a point.

As was I..I believe I stated that my statement was my opinion. And no, small kids don't bother me, parents that are in over their heads and expect everyone else to deal with their poor parenting, (including their own kids) do. I would never take small kids to WDW, but then again, I'd never have 4 kids. Doesn't mean that having a large family is bad, or that taking babies to WDW is bad either, just not my choice. that's all I was saying.

And some parents do drag their kids around and then get upset with them that they are "ruining" the vacation. I saw a woman hollering this to her small child last trip. Not saying that you do this, just stating what I saw. Hey, if you do well at handling your kids then more power to you.

 

[disneyjunkie]

It's a family vacation destination...if you kids bother you that much, find another place to go.

Oh please,

Most people aren't bothered by kids. However, they are bothered by clueless parents.

As parents we have to be mindful of how our child's behavior effects those around us.

We might think it's cute to watch our kids laugh with glee while playing with the ropes in a line. The person that's getting hit by rope may not agree.

We might think it's cute to hear our child sing the ABC song while waiting for lunch. The other Diners may not agree.

We might think it's cute to let our child play with a spray bottle in a crowded area. The people getting sprayed may not agree.

Most people will bite their tongue and let it go. Others will comment on it.

I love kids. I'm trapped in a room with 21 five-year-old each day.

I expect kids to behave like kids (not mini-adults). I also expect parents to parent.

 

[RMulieri]

Why oh Why do these threads always become so negative? I think the thread was how to disarm rudeness at DW , not lets hit on every flame worthy topic we can.

 

[a Really Bad Egg]

Why oh Why do these threads always become so negative?

I'm starting to miss that thread about the skywriter.

 

[tnmomof4]

I like the pixie dust comment and the idea of ignoring rude behavior when you can. However, I am not sure I want to set the example to my children to "roll over and let people talk to them rudely."

I don't want to be rude back to people but I'd like to know more about things to say to diffuse that feeling you get -- you know the little black rain cloud that can hang over you after experiencing something less than pleasant....

For the most part the people you meet at WDW are very nice and friendly.
I have gotten to talk with lots of other moms while waiting in lines or waiting for parades. There are far more nice people at Disney than rude.

I can understand you wanting to set an example to your children. That's why I said that if someone is ourtright rude, I don't get into a big confrontation with them. I just say to them "You have a good day" or "Have a Magical day". There really is no need to be rude back because that doesn't help diffuse that little black rain cloud.

When that lady and her kids were rude to my kids, it was hard to not say what I really wanted to say. I made sure that my kids heard me say "excuse me". I was as polite back as could be, but still said something to her. I tried to set an example to my kids that when others are rude, you can say something to them it is just how you say it and what you say. I did say to my kids that those people didn't look happpy, and maybe they were having a bad day. I told my kids that we were not going to let a few rude people ruin our day. And it didn't ruin our day.

If someone just bumps me with an elbow, I wouldn't say anything because chances are they didn't even know it. I have been bumped by strollers many times because I think lots of people are just in a hurry and don't pay attention to others. Although, like others have said some do it on purpose, and I have had someone do it too me on purpose because they just don't care.

Just remember that you will meet lots and lots of nice, kind people at WDW. I always will remember the family that let my kids sit with their kids when someone was rude to us. I will always remember another family that let my kids use their dry rain poncho to sit on the ground when it was wet from rain. I will remember the family that gave my DS two FP for EE when we were getting into the standby line because they had to go and couldn't use them. I remember the family that let my kids keep a floating at the pool because they were leaving and couldn't take it on the plane.

My DS was picked to be in the Jedi Training at DHS. There were also twin boys picked that were about 4. Neither one of them could get their little brown cape on. I was so proud of my DS. Up there on the stage in front of 100's of people, he helped each one of them put their cape on. Some people clapped for my DS when he did that. Afterwords, the Jedi Master said that he wanted to know if my DS would take a picture with him because he was so kind. The parents of the boys were so thankful too.

I have lots and lots more good things to remember about people I have encountered at Disney, than I do about rude people.

 

[CoachBagFanatic]

I totally agree. We also have a lot of good memories about the great people that we have met while at the world. I only really remember that one incident as posted as it involved my DS getting hurt. But like you said, we did not let it ruin our day. Rude and ignorant people are everywhere. We just have to pick and choose our battles.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Why do you people judge so easily? Because they had tired kids on an airplane, obviously they're horrid parents.

 

[maxiesmom]

You could have gritted your teeth and moved on, or given the wornout, probably already embarrassed enough, mom a little pixie dust. Your words, however, I'm sure hit her hard after a long day with UNPREDICTABLE toddlers. You walked off feeling a bit smug that you know more than she does about how to parent her children and that you put her in her place. She, on the other hand, was probably hurt by your comments, and ended her vacation questioning her parenting skills in the midst of circumstances that for all you know couldn't be helped, and aside from that 2 hour plane ride you know nothing about. THAT is the difference. You could have kept your mouth shut, but chose to be rude in the midst of someone else's already difficult situation. We're just calling you on that.

By the comment the parent made, she knew her kids were acting up because they were over-tired. And 99 out of 100 times if you run your kids to the point of exhaustion, they will act up. The parent should have known better, or more than likely knew better and didn't think about the consequences. The children's bad behavior was totally predictable! It is not rocket science.

That lady is lucky all she got was a small comment. Seems like she needed it as a reminder that the world does not revolve around her and her children.

 

[GatorLady]

I'm starting to miss that thread about the skywriter.

You're TOO funny!!! I just read that thread last night, and now this....

 

[TotalSnowWhite]

Oh please,

Most people aren't bothered by kids. However, they are bothered by clueless parents.

As parents we have to be mindful of how our child's behavior effects those around us.

We might think it's cute to watch our kids laugh with glee while playing with the ropes in a line. The person that's getting hit by rope may not agree.

We might think it's cute to hear our child sing the ABC song while waiting for lunch. The other Diners may not agree.

We might think it's cute to let our child play with a spray bottle in a crowded area. The people getting sprayed may not agree.

Most people will bite their tongue and let it go. Others will comment on it.

I love kids. I'm trapped in a room with 21 five-year-old each day.

I expect kids to behave like kids (not mini-adults). I also expect parents to parent.

I agree with you to a point...

Parents definitely need to keep in mind how their child(ren)'s behavior affects others, but I won't stop my DS from singing his little heart out while we're waiting in line at Disney. If I have to choose between irritating a few bystanders or telling my little guy he can't sing in the Happiest Place on Earth, I'm probably going to let him belt it!! I will keep in mind others' vacation experience, but this is our vacation, too. You can't always defer to other people.

 

[Dale-Not-Chip]

I ignore it if the rudeness is towards me, but if it is towards a CM I always make a point of telling them, "You are are doing a good job and that sometimes people are just rude; but thank you for making my trip magical!"

I go up the CM and say the very mean yet funny thing about the rude person that the Cast Member is not allowed to say.

 

[Mo-Yo]

By the comment the parent made, she knew her kids were acting up because they were over-tired. And 99 out of 100 times if you run your kids to the point of exhaustion, they will act up. The parent should have known better, or more than likely knew better and didn't think about the consequences. The children's bad behavior was totally predictable! It is not rocket science.

I believe that the mom's comments show that she is very sensitive to the way her children's behavior affects others. It was an apology for pete's sake, and children's behavior IMHO is more complicated than rocket science sometimes. I think that the criticism was unwarranted and rude.

Are there really parents of children out there who have never stretched their kids and their own limits...especially on vacation???? Heck , vacation can be taxing for adults. Should kids have to stay home until they adults?

I always get compliments on my kids in public and at their school - how nice they are, well-behaved, mannerly, kind, etc., but no one is perfect, and there is A LOT of pressure on parents to be so.

Unless, the mother (or her children) were directly rude to you, your comments were extremely unkind. Perhaps you would do better to visit a less child-oriented type of vacation spot. You'd be less likely to encounter children on planes.

 

[maxiesmom]

I believe that the mom's comments show that she is very sensitive to the way her children's behavior affects others. It was an apology for pete's sake, and children's behavior IMHO is more complicated than rocket science sometimes. I think that the criticism was unwarranted and rude.

Are there really parents of children out there who have never stretched their kids and their own limits...especially on vacation???? Heck , vacation can be taxing for adults. Should kids have to stay home until they adults?

I always get compliments on my kids in public and at their school - how nice they are, well-behaved, mannerly, kind, etc., but no one is perfect, and there is A LOT of pressure on parents to be so.

Unless, the mother (or her children) were directly rude to you, your comments were extremely unkind. Perhaps you would do better to visit a less child-oriented type of vacation spot. You'd be less likely to encounter children on planes.

Umm, I was NOT the poster who experienced this. And I don't think that kids should stay home, and I know that kids sometimes act up. The difference being that this parent did something that they HAD to know would not end with their kids being well behaved. The parents basically set their kids up to be cranky and unruley, and then were like oh well, what can you do. What you can do is NOT run your child until they are exhausted. There is no excuse to do so, and then to throw said child on a plane and think that they will somehow be little angels is just stupid, no other word.

And I don't take that mom's comments as an apology. To me it sounded like she was making an excuse for their bad behavior, and all the person who posted that encounter did was call her on her bad parenting choice.

 

[minmate]

Half the posts on here are SOOO not where I was trying to go with this thread.

However, I do appreciate the comments that stayed more on-topic. I am glad to hear many people are able to shrug off any rudeness they encounter and continue to have fun on vacation! If I find myself in similar circumstances, I hope I can achieve the same!

 

[CoachBagFanatic]

I'm starting to miss that thread about the skywriter.

Half the posts on here are SOOO not where I was trying to go with this thread.

However, I do appreciate the comments that stayed more on-topic. I am glad to hear many people are able to shrug off any rudeness they encounter and continue to have fun on vacation! If I find myself in similar circumstances, I hope I can achieve the same!

If a situation should arise (hopefully not) I am sure you will handle yourself with dignity and class.

 

[GovieMom]

I believe that the mom's comments show that she is very sensitive to the way her children's behavior affects others. It was an apology for pete's sake ...

Exactly. Perhaps the mom thought that her kids would be so worn out that they'd nap during the plane ride home, but it backfired instead. She realized it was disruptive to others, so she explained why and apologized. Can't fault her for that!

 

[dreamer17555]

I tend to think with rude people there are two ways to go about it (two acceptable ways) 1. Ignore it or 2. Say something. I try to ignore most rude behavior if it isn’t directly interfering with me or my children. However if someone plants themselves in front of your children when they have been waiting for a show or parade I tend to say “Excuse me, would you mind moving, please? You accidentally are blocking my child’s view and she has been waiting quiet a long time.” I always try to be firm but make it seem like it was just a simple good natured mistake. Though I can be firmer if I need to be (Or if anyone dare injure my child-heaven help them).

I think there are a lot of entitlement issues at Disney. People tend to think that even if they haven’t been waiting an hour that they are entitled to a great parade spot and must push to the front. It is their vacation too after all. But other than that I don’t see a lot of out and out rudeness at Disney. Sometimes people just mistake stuff as rudeness.

Example of this would be today. My DD6 was at our local playground and there were some boys there with water guns that were getting other children wet. They offered her a gun and I called her down off the playground. I took her to a bench and told her that we don’t play with guns (a personal family rule- please no flames) and that it was a little to cool outside so that she needed to give it back but thank the boys anyway. She did so (a little heavy hearted but still) and told the boys “Thank you but its too cold to play with water guns.” Well the mom of those boys got so angry. She grabbed them off the playground and marched off and the while ranting about me and my daughter being rude and ruining her son’s day. I did not mean to be rude at all but she mistook it for me judging her parenting. I don’t judge other parents but I hold firm to the rules we have in place at our home.

-Becca-