Grandparents. . .how much do you spend on each grandchild at Christmas?

[fifthdimensiondweller]

Growing up my grandma had 4 grandkids and she spent about $75 each on us until I was about ten. Then she remarried and inherited 5 more grandchildren so she went down to spending about $50 each since she had so many more. We always got really nice gifts so I think that's perfectly reasonable! P.S. I think it's wonderful that you are so good even to the grandchildren that arent biologically "yours", I wish my step grandfather had been like that!

 

[Vijoge]

Growing up my grandma had 4 grandkids and she spent about $75 each on us until I was about ten. Then she remarried and inherited 5 more grandchildren so she went down to spending about $50 each since she had so many more. We always got really nice gifts so I think that's perfectly reasonable! P.S. I think it's wonderful that you are so good even to the grandchildren that arent biologically "yours", I wish my step grandfather had been like that!

Lol my 3 boys were all adopted so not a one in the bunch is "biologically" mine!

 

[fifthdimensiondweller]

Lol my 3 boys were all adopted so not a one in the bunch is "biologically" mine!

That's so amazing! My dad grew up in foster care and was later adopted so I know what a wonderful gift adoption can be to a family!

 

[kymom99]

I always loved my parents for spending the same amount on my step kids as they did the rest of the grandchildren.

 

[Tattylou]

My kids get $100 each from dH's parents. They have 4 grandchildren total
My kids get around $600 to $800 worth of stuff each from my parents...they just have the 2. They always spend a lot on gifts. I am an only child and my tree was very full as a child!

Similar....I am an only child and had a full tree on Christmas morning as a child. My parents give 400 towards Santa gifts and then will give the kids something from "them" too. DH mom does 50 per grandkid (she has 7 grandkids). I recognize I'm lucky my parents give as much as they do. My 2 boys are their only grandkids and they love Christmas.

 

[tinkerone]

16 grandchildren is a lot so I really feel $50 is a good number.

We have two grandchildren. One is 16 and the other was just born in April. A few years ago I stopped purchasing gifts for everyone and started to give cash, something I swore I would never do but I'm finding more and more there is to much to do at Christmas and cash makes my life easier. Plus, what would I, a grandmother, know about the things a teen girl would want? I have one of those photo boxes you can purchase at Michaels for each of my two children, the spouse (there is only one) and for the grandchildren. I fill the boxes with little things I pick up through the year and then I place a movie pass and $250 in each box. Done! I only have the 5 to do this for so not as many as others have. Some of my friends think its a lot however we can afford it and it is appreciated so I'm good with it. If the day comes when we can't afford it I will not bat an eye at changing it.

You are a good soul to include everyone in your thoughts at Christmas. Very kind.

 

[adisneyaunt]

Not a grandparent but I hope to be someday!
My "only child" has just 1 grandma and 1 grandpa now. They both have between 8-10 grandkids each.
Grandpa is in a better place financially and typically sends 100. Followed by another 100 a few days later for the bday... Grandma sends 100 for both combined. Both very generous gifts imho.
I think that all should gift whatever they want and certainly not above what they can comfortably afford.

I think your gift giving is quite generous OP!

Wishing everyone a Blessed Holiday!

( and I would treasure having handwritten notes from grandparents!)

As an aside, I have a small note from many years ago... my fil was keeping a list of things he wanted to purchase ( nails n such) while helping renovate our very first home. He was so very happy to feel wanted and a Big part of our daily lives! He clearly jotted it down, addressing it to my dh, his son.. and signed it ... love Pop!
I LOVE having that note...it still brings me to tears... seeing his handwriting and remembering those days long ago... it makes me "hear" his voice... he was an Amazing Grandpa for a Very short time RIP pop!

 

[katie111]

My kids get $125 from my in-laws. They give the parents the cash & we buy the gifts. On Christmas Eve we all get together & the 13 kids all get to open their gifts. They love seeing what they got as well as what everyone else got. Sometimes for the younger kids the parents will just get one or two toys and put the rest towards the Santa stuff. In-laws don't mind this at all. We also have a giant dance party & the kids enjoy this as much as the gifts.

We see my parents on Christmas Day. They have 6 grandkids. They give us $35 a kid to spend. I always make sure to get something from them that the kids really want. The kids know they don't have tons of $$ like my in-laws so they don't care & are always happy with what they get. My 9 year old says he just wants Nana for Christmas this year as she is dying of cancer & we're not sure if she'll still be here.

I think $50 is a great amount and the most important thing is that you are fair to everyone.

 

[QueenIsabella]

My MIL finds giving cash much easier, too--she "only" has 7 grandkids (and now 2 great-grands), but she's 85 and in assisted living--it's just too much for her to worry about who wants what, sizes, ages, interests, etc. And to be fair, she wasn't all the great about that stuff, in the first place, but she really doesn't need the extra burden now. Anyway, she used to give each grandchild $100 for Christmas. I felt this was too much, but she exercised "grandmother privilege" to spoil her grandkids. Ok, fine. We put the money in the bank--the kids had plenty of gifts already, including a couple giftcards (SIL works at Target, that was a sure thing). Then what we'd do is, when we were taking a vacation, the kids could withdraw $50 of their Christmas money to spend as they liked on souvenirs. They never missed the money at the holidays, and were thrilled to have it later on (with some still kept in savings--I still don't think a 4yo needs that much cash in hand!)

FTR, MIL has now upped the ante, and gives $1000 to each grandchild (she can easily afford this). We keep telling the younger kids that this is for college. DS19 saves his (he's in community college, expenses are low), and DD21 generally uses this for college expenses. And no, my kids do NOT get half that for vacation spending money!

 

[lovewdwfun]

My in-laws spend $100 per grandkid. My parents have more money than they do, but spend about $60 per grandchild. My grandmother loves on social security. She no longer gives gifts to her grands, but gives us $10 per child to buy a present for each of her great-grandchildren. Each gift is appreciated.

The best thing you can do for your offspring is to make sure your retirement is fully funded. No one wants to be getting $100 in presents for grandkids each year and then be stuck with a nursing home bill later!

 

[nikkistevej]

My in laws have 4 grandkids- they do $150 each grandkid. They do $100 for their kids(DH, and his twin sisters and me- they like me more than their daughters I think LOL) they give $50 to the one twins boyfriend, the other one robbed their house last year- he gets nothing. (that's for another thread though haha)

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

On my husbands side, our kids are the only grandkids they have. They send each one a check for 100.00. I was amazed the first time I saw that and even told them it was too much but they said they could afford to do it and are glad they can. Since my teens are older, they'll buy something with it and send them pictures of them using the items. It's really fun to see what they'll do.

My parents have alot of grandkids and money is very tight for them. They usually spend about 20.00 a child and my Mom knits them something as well - scarves or mittens usually. Last year was knitted soap holders for bars of soap. I guess they doubled as wash clothes too? I was confused about those.
Sometimes the occasional hat although her knitted hats are always interesting to see. LOL I'm kind of looking forward to seeing what she does this year.

 

[bjscheel]

My parents do $25 each for 8 grandkids. They range from 15-28 so lots of college/just starting out broke kids and so it is generally a gift card of their choice plus a food treat. If they have ideas for a gift instead of a GC, they will do that too (DD18 is getting some décor for her dorm room that we saw while shopping with Grandma). My kids also have a great-aunt who is like a grandma because she has no children of her own. She also does $25. Used to send the money to the parents to buy a gift for their kids, now she puts money in envelopes since they are teens/young adults.

DH's parents probably spend at least $50 each on 5 kids. It's all gifts, no gift cards, so it's harder to tell. And at the end of the day I'm not always sure what came from grandparents and what came from aunts.

 

[sk!mom]

The best thing you can do for your offspring is to make sure your retirement is fully funded. No one wants to be getting $100 in presents for grandkids each year and then be stuck with a nursing home bill later!

You just touched a nerve with me! I've had many arguments over the years due to a grandparent overspending on gifts when they clearly could not afford it.

I've already told DD20 that someday when she has children, I will give a small gift and then contribute whatever else I choose to college funds.

 

[Shughart]

You just touched a nerve with me! I've had many arguments over the years due to a grandparent overspending on gifts when they clearly could not afford it.

I've already told DD20 that someday when she has children, I will give a small gift and then contribute whatever else I choose to college funds.

Yes, I agree with this. This is one of the reasons I let my Mom pull her Grandma privilege, their retirements are already paid for as well as numerous other things.

 

[Tmarmac]

My 2 kids are the only grandkids (and great grandkids) on both sides of the family. They usually receive Cdn$50 from each set of grandparents and $25 from one great-grandma (the other great-grandma has Alzheimer's so no expectation there). And my aunt always thinks of them and buys them small things.

That is plenty, in my opinion. And the kids often prefer something small (a pack of Pokémon cards for my son for instance) that they will love to a "bigger" gift that will collect dust.

 

[MamaBelle4]

Nor a grandparent either, but I'll share what my parents and in laws do.

They all spend about $100 per kid, and it is too much. They need nothing and would be happy with 1 or 2 thoughtful gifts under the tree. They need no more.

 

[agavegirl1]

I have four children and five grandchildren. When I was more financially secure, I spent too much on everyone...($150-200 per person). I had to downsize for the first time last year. It was hard but I kind of went with half. $75 per grandkid and $100 per kid.

My in-laws finally figured out that Christmas was a total lose-lose for them. They have four children and five grandchildren as well. Hate to say it, but DH and I are the only ones who bought gifts besides them. They and we bought gifts for everyone who attended, including the occasional kid of mine that would show up. Year after year, they had the "deadbeat children" show up with their offspring to eat and collect gifts, then leave. I think my sister-in-law bought everyone a $5 scratch off from the gas station one year.

My family gave up on gift exchanges years ago when the family got too big to even keep track of. We all buy for mom.

Meanwhile, MIL was freaking Santa Claus with the kids wish lists. I would email my SIL for ideas for her kids. She gave me lists of things. She never brought anything. She would suggest $50 video games. I think she once came in with a chocolate cake and complained profusely about her deadbeat ex. I think in seven years, I got a five dollar scratch off.

DH thinks I spend too much because dinner cost like $160. We do prime rib and champagne every year. However, My "Christmas is permanently scheduled for the first Sunday after New Years and everyone can buy at the after Christmas sales if they so choose. We focus on food, conversation and the celebration that the "Holiday Madness" is now over. Once you have in-laws, step-in-laws and everyone else, the kids are scattered far and wide and stretched to the limits.

You have to assess your family honestly and sometimes it evolves over time.

We suffered a financial loss last year. I semi-retired and have to stretch out my money. When I was not on a fixed income, I was over extravagant. Stupid mistake. You can't buy love.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

And how many do you buy for?

I have 16 grandchildren to buy for. I just can't justify going in debt for Christmas so I've decided $50 each is all I can comfortably afford (I also have other people i need to buy for). Some of the kids will be happy with anything I give them. Two of the girls are never happy and DH has threatened to not get them anything.

Just wondering what other grandparents do and for how many.

I have 3, but 2 are babies, and one I don't get to buy for (long story short: he was adopted to a nice family because my DD was only 15, and she didn't think she could be a good mom. She gets to see him, but the rest of us don't and the adoptive family don't want us to send him things).


This year, I've spent about $30 on each baby so far. One got 2 outfits and 1 pj + 4 tsum tsums and 1 toy car; the other got 2 pjs and 1 outfit + 1 toy car + 4 tsum tsums. (the plush ones, of course) I'm going to get the older baby one of those big wooden toys that you move the beads around on (he loves those) and the younger is getting a bouncer saucer (bought one for the older when he was about the same age). A few more books each, and then I'll be done. I'm trying to not be the crazy spending grandmother on them...don't want to set a precedent that I can't keep up on. It'll round out to less than $100 each.

 

[bbak30]

My parents have 4 and spend about $50 each. That is plenty. They also spend tons throughout the year on little treats and stuff. However, my girls really really don't care. If they had a choice between spending the night with Nene and Pop or a present, they would pick the sleepover in a heartbeat. They love their grandparents and it doesn't have anything to do with presents.

My inlaws tend to spend more, $150 or so. They only have our 2. They also give DH and I a check for $350 each. While appreciated, I just don't think this is necessary. They do soooo much for us already, but they won't stop. My MIL is always buying clothes, treats and stuff for school. She also sends lunch money or field trip money if she picks up the girls on a day that it's sent home. Very very generous.
Again, my girls love them and would chose an outing with them over a present. That makes my heart happy.
We are very fortunate.