How fast it all changed.

Today definitely had elements of hard for sure, like the Starbucks barista who asked what fun things I had planned for Father's Day. Overall though, it was manageable, I guess is the best word. We were a little out of the norm as DS had a competition where he was judging the young kids, competing as an assistant with two of the older girls who don't have partners and then performing a showdance with his own partner. Lots to focus on other than what today meant.

When we got home, both kids went out with friends / boyfriend or girlfriend, so the dogs and I watched a Guy's Grocery Game marathon - good mindless distraction. I think I'm just grateful that we made it through. I gave the kids their personal photo books of them with DH today. I'd had them made when I did the one for his Celebration but held on to the personal ones until now.

Now we turn our attention to studying for exams (DD asked if she could get a tutor to help her study, so that's in the works for this week.) Also, preparing for DS's next competition in Montreal in a couple of weeks, so a lot of driving to training as well as shopping and organising for the trip. We're going to lease a current model of the car I'm interested in to see what I think of it over a few days, plus save some wear on my van which is on it's last legs. The kids have never been to Montreal so we're looking forward to it.

I'm finding it easier to talk about him IRL now. Some people set me off, but mostly I'm managing to not break down. Thanks for all of you still following and supporting. It means so much!
 
Rodeo, you are such an inspiration to me. None of us know when tragedy might strike. Thank you for teaching us for when we may need the lessons.

Praying for you and your family.
 
I thought of you yesterday and sent a prayer that you were doing ok. I'm glad your DS is so busy to keep you occupied.

You are continuing to do a great job. Everyone close to you is fortunate to have you. Wishing you only the best each and every day.
 


Yesterday must've been a hard day. :hug: I'm glad you go through it. How did you respond to the Starbucks barista?

That just made me remember something. Yesterday morning DD and I were out driving and we saw a line of cars both coming out of, and going into, a cemetery. DD said, "What's going on there?", and I said, "Father's Day". :guilty: (And for a second I had the urge to go visit my own father's gravesite, too, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get down there that day. :guilty:) I guess the point being that, on a holiday such as that, it can feel as if you're the only one hurting, but it helps to know there are others who are, as well. Your hurt is so fresh, though. :sad1: I'm glad your kids stayed busy.
 
Continued prayers for strength, wisdom, and more good days. I admire you so much, you have so much courage to continue day by day. Your kids sound like they are doing okay, like you, they will have good days and bad days, but that is the way it goes. Please keep posting your updates when you feel up to it. Your DIS family is still standing with you every step of the way.
 


I continue to think of you and your family and send good thoughts for peace and positivity to head your way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences with everyone; you have touched many of us with your story.
 
Dear Rodeo, I very rarely visit the CB anymore, other than to post about my nephew, so I just stumbled upon your post this morning, and have spent the last half hour or so reading through many of your updates. I can't even begin to tell you how my heart aches for you and your children right now. There really are no adequate words of comfort. Our family went through something similar with my dad 22 years ago this past June 9th. My dad went for a CT scan for what was thought to be a gallbladder issue, and came home with a diagnosis of mesothelioma. He lasted three months. He was 64. The horror of seeing him wither away over those three months is something I'll never forget. It is just shocking. It took a long time to think about my dad without being sad and crying, but eventually we were able to talk about him with happiness and joy, and being so grateful we had such a wonderful dad for the time that we did. My mom, sadly, pretty much never regained joy in life. She is almost 85 now, was 62 when my dad passed, and all she ever talks about is how she wishes God would take her because she misses my dad. She has three kids that are still here who love her and care about her, four grandchildren who love her & are happy she is still here, and three adorable great-grandsons, ages 6, 5 & 4, with a fourth great-grandson on the way, who give her lots of hugs and kisses, and she loves them and loves seeing them, but still would rather not be alive. She is also in good health for her age, and still able to live on her own. I don't understand it. I guess I never will. I will keep you in my prayers that in time you can think more happy thoughts than sad ones, and live the life your husband didn't get to. I know my dad would have wanted my mom to do that.
 
Today definitely had elements of hard for sure, like the Starbucks barista who asked what fun things I had planned for Father's Day. Overall though, it was manageable, I guess is the best word. We were a little out of the norm as DS had a competition where he was judging the young kids, competing as an assistant with two of the older girls who don't have partners and then performing a showdance with his own partner. Lots to focus on other than what today meant.

When we got home, both kids went out with friends / boyfriend or girlfriend, so the dogs and I watched a Guy's Grocery Game marathon - good mindless distraction. I think I'm just grateful that we made it through. I gave the kids their personal photo books of them with DH today. I'd had them made when I did the one for his Celebration but held on to the personal ones until now.

Now we turn our attention to studying for exams (DD asked if she could get a tutor to help her study, so that's in the works for this week.) Also, preparing for DS's next competition in Montreal in a couple of weeks, so a lot of driving to training as well as shopping and organising for the trip. We're going to lease a current model of the car I'm interested in to see what I think of it over a few days, plus save some wear on my van which is on it's last legs. The kids have never been to Montreal so we're looking forward to it.

I'm finding it easier to talk about him IRL now. Some people set me off, but mostly I'm managing to not break down. Thanks for all of you still following and supporting. It means so much!

Yesterday must've been a hard day. :hug: I'm glad you go through it. How did you respond to the Starbucks barista?

That just made me remember something. Yesterday morning DD and I were out driving and we saw a line of cars both coming out of, and going into, a cemetery. DD said, "What's going on there?", and I said, "Father's Day". :guilty: (And for a second I had the urge to go visit my own father's gravesite, too, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get down there that day. :guilty:) I guess the point being that, on a holiday such as that, it can feel as if you're the only one hurting, but it helps to know there are others who are, as well. Your hurt is so fresh, though. :sad1: I'm glad your kids stayed busy.
Grace and peace to you @rodeo65 . You've all made it through another "first" and an incredibly tough one too. :grouphug:

Funny how a casual pleasantry made with no ill-intent can knock one for such a loop. My dearest friend lost both of her twin sons in an tragic incident. Afterwards, when she would be out and around, a question similar to the one you heard would cause her to panic inside because she felt like they somehow "knew" and she needed to explain things to them. Of course nothing of the kind is necessary - she's found it much easier since she learned to just smile, nod and deflect those kinds of questions. It will become less startling for you too as time moves on. :flower3:
 
Dear Rodeo, I very rarely visit the CB anymore, other than to post about my nephew, so I just stumbled upon your post this morning, and have spent the last half hour or so reading through many of your updates. I can't even begin to tell you how my heart aches for you and your children right now. There really are no adequate words of comfort. Our family went through something similar with my dad 22 years ago this past June 9th. My dad went for a CT scan for what was thought to be a gallbladder issue, and came home with a diagnosis of mesothelioma. He lasted three months. He was 64. The horror of seeing him wither away over those three months is something I'll never forget. It is just shocking. It took a long time to think about my dad without being sad and crying, but eventually we were able to talk about him with happiness and joy, and being so grateful we had such a wonderful dad for the time that we did. My mom, sadly, pretty much never regained joy in life. She is almost 85 now, was 62 when my dad passed, and all she ever talks about is how she wishes God would take her because she misses my dad. She has three kids that are still here who love her and care about her, four grandchildren who love her & are happy she is still here, and three adorable great-grandsons, ages 6, 5 & 4, with a fourth great-grandson on the way, who give her lots of hugs and kisses, and she loves them and loves seeing them, but still would rather not be alive. She is also in good health for her age, and still able to live on her own. I don't understand it. I guess I never will. I will keep you in my prayers that in time you can think more happy thoughts than sad ones, and live the life your husband didn't get to. I know my dad would have wanted my mom to do that.

I'm so sorry Teresa and I have been a lurker on your nephew's thread since it began. I was always more of a lurker overall until this happened and posting became a form of therapy. I feel so badly for your mother as yes, I'm sure your dad would never have wanted just existence for her for these past 22 years. DH and I never really got around to discussing those kinds of issues as there were so many more "practical" things we had to get to in such a short time - even at that he went so quickly that we didn't have the opportunity to get to a lot of things I'd have liked to. I do know that he would have never wanted the kids and I to stagnate. It was hard seeing him as he declined but what you wrote puts a sharp focus on what was even more upsetting to me, which was watching my kids struggle with seeing their strong, workout nut of a father - wither, as you said.

Grace and peace to you @rodeo65 . You've all made it through another "first" and an incredibly tough one too. :grouphug:

Funny how a casual pleasantry made with no ill-intent can knock one for such a loop. My dearest friend lost both of her twin sons in an tragic incident. Afterwards, when she would be out and around, a question similar to the one you heard would cause her to panic inside because she felt like they somehow "knew" and she needed to explain things to them. Of course nothing of the kind is necessary - she's found it much easier since she learned to just smile, nod and deflect those kinds of questions. It will become less startling for you too as time moves on. :flower3:

I cannot even imagine your friend's loss. As difficult and shocking as losing DH was/is, of course one spouse is going to go before another. The shocking part was this soon. Your friend's situation is so tragic and I hope she is finding her way through that horror. I didn't feel a need to explain, actually wanted to avoid discussing it at all, so I just said yes, we had a full day planned. Not a lie - we did have a full day with DS's events.

So - today is test drive day. Something kind of fun for a change. I am trading both DH's and my vehicles (2004 and 2006 models) in for something current. With both of the kids expected to begin driving this year, I want a newer car with safety features. I've found a fully loaded Equinox at an amazing price and can have it next week before our trip if I'm happy with it. It has a teen/new driver control feature so I can set speed limits and get reports on which safety features they are using. That was the main thing I wanted but there are a lot of extra features. The only thing I can't get that I would have liked was leather seats and this comes with cloth but that aside everything else is great. I hope it drives nicely.

Originally I wanted the Acadia, but to get it as upgraded as the Equinox it was out of my budget. Plus when I was talking to the kids they were pushing for that one also because it seats seven and they want to haul more kids around. The Equinox seats five and I prefer they NOT have a car loaded with teenagers so that suits me better in the end. :thumbsup2
 
Enjoy the new car, I went car shopping myself yesterday and it is amazing how many more features cars come with now (currently have a 2007).
 
I'm so sorry Teresa and I have been a lurker on your nephew's thread since it began. I was always more of a lurker overall until this happened and posting became a form of therapy. I feel so badly for your mother as yes, I'm sure your dad would never have wanted just existence for her for these past 22 years. DH and I never really got around to discussing those kinds of issues as there were so many more "practical" things we had to get to in such a short time - even at that he went so quickly that we didn't have the opportunity to get to a lot of things I'd have liked to. I do know that he would have never wanted the kids and I to stagnate. It was hard seeing him as he declined but what you wrote puts a sharp focus on what was even more upsetting to me, which was watching my kids struggle with seeing their strong, workout nut of a father - wither, as you said.



I cannot even imagine your friend's loss. As difficult and shocking as losing DH was/is, of course one spouse is going to go before another. The shocking part was this soon. Your friend's situation is so tragic and I hope she is finding her way through that horror. I didn't feel a need to explain, actually wanted to avoid discussing it at all, so I just said yes, we had a full day planned. Not a lie - we did have a full day with DS's events.

So - today is test drive day. Something kind of fun for a change. I am trading both DH's and my vehicles (2004 and 2006 models) in for something current. With both of the kids expected to begin driving this year, I want a newer car with safety features. I've found a fully loaded Equinox at an amazing price and can have it next week before our trip if I'm happy with it. It has a teen/new driver control feature so I can set speed limits and get reports on which safety features they are using. That was the main thing I wanted but there are a lot of extra features. The only thing I can't get that I would have liked was leather seats and this comes with cloth but that aside everything else is great. I hope it drives nicely.

Originally I wanted the Acadia, but to get it as upgraded as the Equinox it was out of my budget. Plus when I was talking to the kids they were pushing for that one also because it seats seven and they want to haul more kids around. The Equinox seats five and I prefer they NOT have a car loaded with teenagers so that suits me better in the end. :thumbsup2
I'm glad you had a good day! Enjoy and believe me Hon, if anything will take your mind off your troubles it's teaching teens to drive. Maybe ask Grandpa to do it - personally, I still twitch when I think about it and our DS has been licensed for 2 years now. :hug:
 
Enjoy your new car dear Rodeo :) I only post on this thread and Teresa's. Both have been a privilege to I pray get to lend support and cheer too. Thank you both.
 
Rodeo, hubby is a realtor. If your house is older, no one expects it to be perfect. If you can get it freshly painted, decluttered and cleaned, that would be great. If it’s in decent condition and priced appropriately, it will sell.

We bought a 50 year old house with olive green shag carpet, avocado green appliances a pink bathroom with a “faux marble” pink and gray swirly
Formica vanity and the UGLIEST kitchen floor known to mankind. It also needed a new roof immediately and had an older furnace. But The house had “good bones” meaning it was well built per the inspector, was in a great neighborhood and was priced appropriately based on what needed to be done.

We bought it 24 years ago. Slowly but surely we’ve redone it.
 
Thank you for keeping up with my nephew's story, rodeo. I, too, come here to post about him as a kind of therapy, as some of the things I say I cannot say to his parents. That is another tragic loss that happened to a young person very suddenly. Life truly can change in an instant. What makes is really hard is that we mourn every day for a person who is still alive. I hope you keep writing and let us know how you & your children are doing. :hug:
 

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