How much alcohol is too much?

emer95

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 22, 2005
So... big confession here. I really like wine/cocktails. I love wine, but I’m health and calorie conscious, so I mostly do flavored vodka in soda.

I never used to drink anything at all, but a few really tough years have caused me to enjoy a glass or two in the evening. On very rough nights I have finished an entire bottle of wine by myself. That’s rare- maybe 5 times max.

I started noticing myself craving alcohol, which gave me cause for concern. I don’t think it’s good that I’m using it to help deal with stress. I now only allow myself to drink on Friday and Saturday (non work nights) and I’m good at sticking to it.
This summer though, when I wasn’t working, I drank every day. Never more than a glass or two, but drinking every day isn’t good. Right?

I have shared my concerns with my husband. He laughably says I’m crazy and he doesn’t think I have a problem because I’m very careful about controlling myself. Just to note: I NEVER drink if I'm going to drive. We are homebodies and only drink when we’re in for the night.

Just wondering what the Dis thinks, and what is “acceptable” for the amount a person drinks.

Thanks!
 
From a calorie point of of view check out the website getdrunknotfat.com
 
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I think the fact that you limited yourself, and had no trouble sticking to that limit, and even with that realize that it could potentially turn into a problem means that you're well in control of yourself. Yes, there are the calories to consider, but having a couple of drinks per night instead of loading up on a bottle of wine on the weekends is the healthier way to go if you do drink.

Of course, I'm speaking from similar experiences, only I do a couple of beers per night, so my opinion may be skewed a bit.
 


Well, I come from a background where I glass of wine with dinner is normal. My mother is an Italian immigrant and when I was little, they would put a drop of wine in my Sprite. That being said, I do like a glass of wine with dinner. I like certain cocktails as welll, although less frequently than wine.

We are also health conscious and I generally work out 6 days a week. I regularly do not drink Sunday through Thursday, and sometims I take two full weeks off as well. Have you recently tried stopping for any length of time?

I can also be at social functions, like right now at a work conference at the Grand Floridian and not drink at open bar events. They do not have wine that I like, and I cannot stand beer. It is too hot for hard liquor, so I drink club sodas with lime.

I don’t think what you are doing sounds excessive. However, do you plan on stopping or going back to two days a week when this stress is over? I don’t think that a drink with dinner or in the evening I should bad. I think it becomes more dangerous when it is used to escape or cope with other issues.
 
So... big confession here. I really like wine/cocktails. I love wine, but I’m health and calorie conscious, so I mostly do flavored vodka in soda.

I never used to drink anything at all, but a few really tough years have caused me to enjoy a glass or two in the evening. On very rough nights I have finished an entire bottle of wine by myself. That’s rare- maybe 5 times max.

I started noticing myself craving alcohol, which gave me cause for concern. I don’t think it’s good that I’m using it to help deal with stress. I now only allow myself to drink on Friday and Saturday (non work nights) and I’m good at sticking to it.
This summer though, when I wasn’t working, I drank every day. Never more than a glass or two, but drinking every day isn’t good. Right?

I have shared my concerns with my husband. He laughably says I’m crazy and he doesn’t think I have a problem because I’m very careful about controlling myself. Just to note: I NEVER drink if I'm going to drive. We are homebodies and only drink when we’re in for the night.

Just wondering what the Dis thinks, and what is “acceptable” for the amount a person drinks.

Thanks!

Being perfectly honest and having a DH that went through rehab years ago(almost 30 now). You are on a very slippery slope if the bolded is true. If you are using alcohol to mask problems or stress you are really in danger of falling off the cliff.

Your husband should not be laughing about this. I found myself doing this in the last couple of years and it was a huge trigger for my DH. He actually started doing AA meetings again. He was so concerned he asked me to go with him and I gotta say it was enlightening. You don't have to be fall down drunk to have a problem. I no longer drink, promised my DH I would take a year off, it was actually kinda tough at first, I like my wine. I am not saying you do but if you are questioning it yourself you may want to take a sabbatical from alcohol.
 
I never used to drink anything at all, but a few really tough years have caused me to enjoy a glass or two in the evening. On very rough nights I have finished an entire bottle of wine by myself. That’s rare- maybe 5 times max.

I don't think a glass in the evening is generally a problem. It used to be considered completely normal to have a drink every night (whether with dinner, or just before or after).

I do think an entire bottle is excessive.

I started noticing myself craving alcohol, which gave me cause for concern. I don’t think it’s good that I’m using it to help deal with stress. I now only allow myself to drink on Friday and Saturday (non work nights) and I’m good at sticking to it.
This summer though, when I wasn’t working, I drank every day. Never more than a glass or two, but drinking every day isn’t good. Right?

The fact that you noticed is good. And the fact that you can ignore the craving when you choose is also good. I don't quite think you're an alcoholic. I do think it was becoming a habit you were uncomfortable with, so you cut back, which I think was the right choice.

Have you explored any other ways to deal with stress?

Just to note: I NEVER drink if I'm going to drive. We are homebodies and only drink when we’re in for the night.

:thumbsup2
 
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OP If you think you may have a drinking problem you probably do. As the previous poster said you don't have to be a falling down drunk. It is a slippery slope and you only have one liver. You might either want to limit yourself to once a week or quit cold turkey. I gave up wine recently because I'm on a health kick and alcohol is not healthy period. Also I was feeling like crap every morning even after one or two glasses of wine and definitely over indulged on my recent 2 week vacation.

Interesting article on drinking alcohol: https://www.vox.com/2018/4/24/17242720/alcohol-health-risks-facts
 
If you are questioning the amount that you are drinking, and the fact that you are asking for what is acceptable is a sign that you know that something is wrong. Terms like control myself, or craving to have a drink are key words, that you might need to re-evaluate drinking all together.

You might want to talk to someone, find other outlets for stress, walking, running, swimming, hit the gym, yoga, breathing exercises and simple body stretching, get a massage. As well look at your diet.

Drinking is sometimes a sign of depression, I would suggest you might want to have a chat with your doctor.
 
You're going to get such a wide variety of answers here, I'd think this is quite a controversial topic.

I don't drink, I literally have less than 2 glasses of wine in an entire year. So to me, anything more than once in a blue moon is too much. I don't get the concept of why people like it so much. But that's just my opinion.
 
There are guidelines for safe drinking. See link.

http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/factsheet/drinking-guidelines-supporting-health-and-life

It sounds as though this might be a problem for you.

The Lancet came out with a study recently saying no amount of alcohol is truly safe. That study has been widely criticised, however, and adhering to the safe drinking guidelines is probably adequate.

I think if you are using alcohol as a means of relaxing, coping, it could be an issue. There are better ways to deal with stress. Find what works for you to enhance your health—running, meditation, prayer, therapy.
 
My 97 year old grandmother says her secret is a glass of wine every night.

However, your "too much" may not be the same as anyone else's. I think what is more important is why you drink, or why you crave it, are you getting sloshed every night to forget your troubles, or are you just having one drink because it relaxes you?
Personally I don't find the amount you drink excessive, and I don't see a big deal with having one drink a day to relax and de-stress. However if you crave it because you feel you need it to relax, that one drink could turn into more and more and obviously turn into future problems.
You seem to be in control though so I'm going to agree with your husband.
 
I have a similar experience to yours. Last year was one of the most stressful of my life! I could not wait to get home from work and have a glass of wine or two while cooking dinner; by the weekend it may be even more. I just wanted a release from the job from hell! I noticed the more I drank the higher my tolerance level became, I didn’t feel like working out much, I gained weight and my body just hurt when I woke up up. I was miserable and mentally certainly did not feel any better.

Flash forward to January 2nd. It was my 50th birthday and I drank quite a bit. This will sound nuts but I had this vivid dream that I made a promise to the people in my life that I was going dry for the rest of the month. I really felt convicted. I did it and I have to say I found it was more about the experience than the actual alcohol for me. I started drinking flavored seltzer in a fancy glass with lime in it. I began not to miss the alcohol really. As the poster above mentioned feeling like crap after 2 glasses the next day I felt the same as her and my consumption was increasing. I would not feel intoxicated while drinking but felt horrible the next day. After staying dry for a month I decided that alcohol was going to be for the weekends and not even every weekend. Now I don’t even need the fancy glass during the week! Lol!

I am working out 4 days a week, I have gotten back down to my original weight and mentally and physically feel so much better!! I would set a goal to go a period with zero alcohol and see how difficult that is and that will speak to where you are. Regardless of whether I was depending on the alcohol, the experience or both I have to say I feel so much better having reduced my intake significantly! I wish you well.
 
I have a similar experience to yours. Last year was one of the most stressful of my life! I could not wait to get home from work and have a glass of wine or two while cooking dinner; by the weekend it may be even more. I just wanted a release from the job from hell! I noticed the more I drank the higher my tolerance level became, I didn’t feel like working out much, I gained weight and my body just hurt when I woke up up. I was miserable and mentally certainly did not feel any better.

Flash forward to January 2nd. It was my 50th birthday and I drank quite a bit. This will sound nuts but I had this vivid dream that I made a promise to the people in my life that I was going dry for the rest of the month. I really felt convicted. I did it and I have to say I found it was more about the experience than the actual alcohol for me. I started drinking flavored seltzer in a fancy glass with lime in it. I began not to miss the alcohol really. As the poster above mentioned feeling like crap after 2 glasses the next day I felt the same as her and my consumption was increasing. I would not feel intoxicated while drinking but felt horrible the next day. After staying dry for a month I decided that alcohol was going to be for the weekends and not even every weekend. Now I don’t even need the fancy glass during the week! Lol!

I am working out 4 days a week, I have gotten back down to my original weight and mentally and physically feel so much better!! I would set a goal to go a period with zero alcohol and see how difficult that is and that will speak to where you are. Regardless of whether I was depending on the alcohol, the experience or both I have to say I feel so much better having reduced my intake significantly! I wish you well.
This is a great post. I think if one cuts back on drinking it frees up time to pursue healthier interests. You’ll be more motivated to exercise, you’ll be consuming fewer calories, so you’ll lose weight and be able to move more. Increasing your movement will boost your mood, etc, etc. It will get you into a healthier, more physical loop.
 
I think anytime you "need" a drink you are closer to a problem than not. If you "need" a drink because of stress or to wind down or whatever I would step back and find a better way to relax. I look at it the same as stress eating. Food isn't supposed to "make you feel better" and neither is alcohol in my opinion.
 
I think anytime you "need" a drink you are closer to a problem than not. If you "need" a drink because of stress or to wind down or whatever I would step back and find a better way to relax. I look at it the same as stress eating. Food isn't supposed to "make you feel better" and neither is alcohol in my opinion.

Agree. I personally don't understand the "I'm stressed, I need a drink" concept.
 
If you drink to the point you get sick, that's too much.
If you can't have only one drink, that's too much.
If you're behavior becomes concerning, you've had too much to drink
If you become a different person or an aggressive person, you shouldn't be drinking.
::yes:: I’ll also add if you “need” a drink to quell a craving, that’s a problem too. And drinking to the point of intoxication as a form of recreation, well, that just seems unwise on a lot of levels.
 
I think anytime you "need" a drink you are closer to a problem than not. If you "need" a drink because of stress or to wind down or whatever I would step back and find a better way to relax. I look at it the same as stress eating. Food isn't supposed to "make you feel better" and neither is alcohol in my opinion.

Agree. I personally don't understand the "I'm stressed, I need a drink" concept.

If you drink to the point you get sick, that's too much.
If you can't have only one drink, that's too much.
If you're behavior becomes concerning, you've had too much to drink
If you become a different person or an aggressive person, you shouldn't be drinking.

You do realize that for some "Just stop" doesn't work. Just be grateful you don't understand the concept and be thankful you may never need to. Please don't be dismissive of those who may be on a bad path and need our encouragement not just empty words.

Addiction is a terrible thing thus many AA, NA and other Anonymous groups dedicated to helping people overcome it and stay sober. Support from loved ones and groups can be crucial for some to maintain. My DH after 30 years sober realized this when my drinking escalated for the same reasons as OP. He offered a hand of support and helped me see I could be on a bad path, he didn't laugh & dismiss. Luckily I could just stop but going to a few AA meetings opened my eyes to what many who can't live. Loss of jobs, homes, families, friends and health, it truly is tragic.
 
I only drink once in a blue moon. I’ve developed a weird intolerance after drinking that causes my feet to itch and my lips will be slightly swollen in the morning :( My husband, however, drinks mostly every night. I think it’s really important to be very candid with your doctor if you drink every night. He/she can run tests to determine if it’s causing an impact on your health.

In my husband’s case, his liver blood tests are perfect. His doctor has told him daily moderate drinking is fine. He works out six days a week and maintains a healthy weight. She is European so maybe that’s why she’s not concerned. Her main concerns are healthy eating once you hit 40 with an elimination of processed food and daily exercise.

This really isn’t something I’d ask anyone but your doctor. As long as you’re honest, he/she can give you the most informed opinion.
 

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