How to tell the kids our trip is cancelled...

[courtney1188]

I need to break the news to my 5 and 7 year old that our July Disney trip is cancelled. It was supposed to be a big, multi-generational trip with their grandparents and uncle and us, but with my dad being high-risk, my brother being called back to work as we're supposed to be headed to Florida, and my 7 year old being on the autism spectrum and having sensory issues (he reacts horribly to wearing a mask), we just can't make it work.

They're not going to be shocked - they know about the virus and their daily lives have already been so changed because of it, but I know they're going to be super disappointed. And we can't even try to give them a silver lining of doing something else instead or planning a trip for next year - this summer is basically cancelled and everything is up in the air, and my husband only gets one week off a year and next year is already spoken for (tropical vacation for just the two of us to celebrate our 10 year anniversary). Blah.

How have others broken the news to their kids? Any advice on cheering them up? We've already been doing Disney days at home where we watch ride videos and eat Mickey ice cream bars, eat spaghetti and meatballs while watching Lady and the Tramp, etc. (Just please no "this is why we don't tell the kids in advance" comments. Not helpful, too late, and they really love being involved in the planning.)

 

[stephk1981]

I'm so sorry things aren't able to go as planned. If it were me I think I would possibly put everything off for a year...meaning, tell the kids you are rebooking for next year and then moving your anniversary trip out by a year as well ( given that your DH only gets one week a year.) Such hard times for everyone, maybe you all can do a date night at Disney and leave the kids with a sitter service. Our 15 year anniversary to Hawaii got cancelled this year due to the pandemic, it was disappointing, but in the scheme of things, we will move it to most likely not next year but the year after. Telling the kids that they only have to wait by a matter of months will be much easier for them to handle versus years. Good luck and I hope you all enjoy your trip whenever it may be!

 

[courtney1188]

I'm so sorry things aren't able to go as planned♥. If it were me I think I would possibly put everything off for a year...meaning, tell the kids you are rebooking for next year and then moving your anniversary trip out by a year as well ( given that your DH only gets one week a year.) Such hard times for everyone, maybe you all can do a date night at Disney and leave the kids with a sitter service. Our 15 year anniversary to Hawaii got cancelled this year due to the pandemic, it was disappointing, but in the scheme of things, we will move it to most likely not next year but the year after. Telling the kids that they only have to wait by a matter of months will be much easier for them to handle versus years. Good luck and I hope you all enjoy your trip whenever it may be!

I’m a teacher who can only go in summer, so there’s unfortunately no way to only have them wait months. Realistically, masks will be required for at LEAST the rest of this summer, and then we wouldn’t be able to go again until next summer (and that’s only if we reschedule our anniversary trip.) A year is basically forever to young kids!

I ended up telling them just a bit ago and it was easier than I though. They weren’t surprised and my 7 year old said he knew that was going to happen and seems proud of himself for guessing correctly. We’ll just have to find stuff to do at home this summer, I guess.

 

[stephk1981]

I’m a teacher who can only go in summer, so there’s unfortunately no way to only have them wait months. Realistically, masks will be required for at LEAST the rest of this summer, and then we wouldn’t be able to go again until next summer (and that’s only if we reschedule our anniversary trip.) A year is basically forever to young kids!

I ended up telling them just a bit ago and it was easier than I though. They weren’t surprised and my 7 year old said he knew that was going to happen and seems proud of himself for guessing correctly. We’ll just have to find stuff to do at home this summer, I guess.

Maybe spring break next year then! So glad they took the news well

 

[DisLiss]

We have done just as you have--we've been warning our kids for some time. In our case, the back-up trip is a full year from now, so it's either wait or don't go at all if we don't go this year. I'm glad your kids took it better than you expected them to. Planning is a big part of the fun for our family, and we've been planning this trip for 2.5 years now, so I would never tell someone not to tell their kids ahead of time. No one plans for a pandemic, after all. (Well, okay, there are some "preppers" who plan for them, but mostly people don't create Pandemic Plan B when coming up with vacation ideas! )

 

[aml1676]

It's tough. I started preparing my kiddo as soon as it became a possibility we would have to cancel in March, so by the time we did she was actually okay with it. We did plan a new trip for this October, but she also knows that one might not happen, either. She's 6, and she's been such an amazing trooper with everything - I'm either raising a kid who's amazingly resilient, or one who is really great at compartmentalizing Her response to every disappointment: "Curse you, coronavirus!"

 

[Pesky]

ugh, I'm so sorry. Glad they took it so well! Sometimes a little surprise can soften the blow, like a Disney stuffie and/or other Disney treats. Maybe even you can ask them to help you plan some family movie nights with themed food and watch a Disney movie together as a way to bring a little Disney to home (there was a thread on this some time ago). You can talk about how much more they will be able to do as they will be a bit older and stronger, etc. if they ever seem down about it. Sounds like though they are well prepared by mom!

 

[Cruz85]

This is tough. I have a just-turned 4-year-old and a 6-year-old and we’ve had to have these conversations before. It’s definitely disappointing to have plans changed or totally cancelled. Hard truth: this is just a fact of life. Disappointments are going to happen. And I don’t at all mean to say that callously; I say that with kindness and empathy. As parents, we help our children navigate through these situations, good and bad, and process those emotions and (hopefully) find the silver linings and focus on the good things.

In these situations, I let my kids express their feelings, and I validate their feelings and let them know that I am disappointed and sad, too. But then I also try and point out that the good things: right now we are healthy and Disney will still be there and we will get to go another time and we have been doing other fun Disney things and can find other fun things to continue to do. Having them involved with choosing some fun things to do (even just picking a new activity book or game) can help them gain some control over the situation. And before you know it, you’ll be planning your next trip and can have them help with that. Good luck!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

My daughter gave up a birthday party to have a trio on her birthday, since BOTH were cancelled she got to pick a gift she wouldn’t have gotten.

 

[meremac]

I ended up telling them just a bit ago and it was easier than I though.

I'm so glad! Honestly, I think we parents are more disappointed about these things than kids. The one thing I've learned through this is that they are SO much more resilient than we think. I have a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old, and basically EVERYTHING has been cancelled. Our Spring Break WDW trip, our cross-country summer road trip, my daughter's first lead in a musical, my son's first high school play (our schools shut down the DAY before opening night, which means that the kids practiced for months for no reason), their summer musical theater program where they get to spend time with friends from other schools that they don't see all year, all end-of-the-year school stuff, birthday parties, etc. And because my small business is not bringing in any money right now, we've had to cut back on so many other little fun things too. I know that everyone is dealing with disappointments right now and that there are WAY more important things at the end of the day, but I thought for sure that they would take some of this stuff hard...and they really didn't. There were a few tears shed about not being able to see their drama friends this summer, but that was really it. Kids are super tough.

 

[KittyKitty]

(Well, okay, there are some "preppers" who plan for them, but mostly people don't create Pandemic Plan B when coming up with vacation ideas! )

Ha! I resemble that remark.

 

[courtney1188]

My daughter gave up a birthday party to have a trio on her birthday, since BOTH were cancelled she got to pick a gift she wouldn’t have gotten.

I’m sorry! We had a birthday disappointment too - my son didn’t want a party or gift, he just wanted to ride Millennium Force at Cedar Point for the first time. His birthday was in May so that didn’t happen either. We did get him a nice gift and are crossing our fingers to visit in the fall (it’s not too far away, so unlike Disney that can be a day trip).

 

[Cruz85]

Definitely so many disappointments now. I was supposed to go to Disney in May on my first adults-only trip to celebrate my 35th birthday and, I’m not going to lie, I was bummed when things started shutting down and I was pretty sure my trip wasn’t going to happen. But then I remember that I can use it as a lesson to my kids in how to handle situations like this. Honestly, I’m just thankful that our income is secure and we’ve been healthy. It puts things in perspective. Though there’s that tiny voice that whines “I reallly needed that time away!” and instead of getting a break, I got 3 months of quarantine with my kids and a giant puppy. Irony??

My daughter’s birthday is also in May and she (and her brother) have been more disappointed and sad about grandma not getting to come up for her birthday than having a quiet celebration at home with just the four of us. I don’t even know when my mom will be able to come up to visit us bc she is going to be taking over care of her 93 year old father soon. I figure I will get to go to Disney next year and celebrate my 36th birthday instead lol but I am sad for my kids and my mom because they’re really missing each other and who knows when we will get to see her. This has been a hard time on everyone but I’m amazed at how resilient kids can be.

 

[beachdreamr1229]

It's hard. My oldest son it turning 10 and I had to cancel all of his big plans. But, it's amazing how resilient kids can be. I'm a teacher, too, and it's so hard because we can't just up and go some random month. It's either Christmas or Summer for us... We're trying to spin it by saying, you know, we had to cancel now, but that means more time to save so we can have an even better trip later.

 

[sponica]

We were supposed to go in July, then I unexpectedly got pregnant (seriously, we were planning for IVF later this year) and moved the trip to May.

I think I started telling my 3.5 year old daughter in March that there was a germ at Disney and we might not be able to go. When I got the cancellation email, I told her we weren't going to be able to go because the germ was still there. She was fine and said "maybe we can go after Christmas"

 

[Cruz85]

It's hard. My oldest son it turning 10 and I had to cancel all of his big plans. But, it's amazing how resilient kids can be. I'm a teacher, too, and it's so hard because we can't just up and go some random month. It's either Christmas or Summer for us... We're trying to spin it by saying, you know, we had to cancel now, but that means more time to save so we can have an even better trip later.

Yes, definitely do some extra special things next year! I’m sure you made him feel special anyway this year.

 

[Cruz85]

We were supposed to go in July, then I unexpectedly got pregnant (seriously, we were planning for IVF later this year) and moved the trip to May.

I think I started telling my 3.5 year old daughter in March that there was a germ at Disney and we might not be able to go. When I got the cancellation email, I told her we weren't going to be able to go because the germ was still there. She was fine and said "maybe we can go after Christmas"

Congratulations on the pregnancy! That must be a rollercoaster of emotions to process through. Disney is exciting and all but your daughter is getting a sibling, so that’s fun, too. I’m sure giving your daughter some warning helped but they really can be more resilient than adults, sometimes!

 

[Jacq7414]

Our daughter (she just turned 4) cried when we told her. Then she said “the coronavirus ruins EVERYTHING!!!” Can’t say i disagree with her. We did say we will go next year so hopefully we are able to

 

[katyjeka]

I think everyone is experiencing some sort of disappointment right now but it is so hard when you have to watch your children go through it. At times I feel sorry for my kids as life seemed so much simpler when I was young. Maybe my parents were really good at hiding things but man the world seems messed up at the moment. We cancelled our WDW trip this year and we were not to go until December. I'm not sure where you live but maybe you could plan a trip to a National Park for the week you were to go. At least when you break it to them you can surprise them with a different trip. If this isn't possible are there some things in your area that your family as always wanted to try but never had the time? May sound crazy but invest in a outdoor movie player and screen(they are pretty cheap) and spend a few nights watching disney movies. It's times like this that make being the adult hard!!!!

 

[Disneyfan754321]

My kids got water park passes... i know its not the same but it was instant gratification...
They were so excited to be able to go at least once a week till they close in September.


My DH told them thats life get use to it .... so less sympathetic.