M&D's of 4 and 5 yr olds I need help... UPDATE

[tiggereyore]

My 4 almost 5 (6/9) is supposed to be going on a field trip with his Pm PreK class along with Am PreK, AmK and Pmk. I guess I'll start w/ background. 4yr olds are not allowed to ride the busses in Hartford (VT)so all yr we've transported him. Then the teacher wants to do a field trip to the sugarhouse(ours) We are turned down because of this rule. Okay 1 month later we are notified that these classes will be going to Billings farm and meusum on a bus leaving at 9 am and won't be back till 1:30 pm(classes aren't even that long). Here's the issues.. there are 1 adult to 7 kids, the bus thing now they can ride, the groups will be mixed amoung the 4 classes, and the kicker No other parents are allowed to attend even if you pay your own way. Some more background Levi is scared to death of cows mooing (I know silly since we have animals and he's around other peoples cows). This is in barn situations only not out in the field. Because we have animals and equipment we have drilled it into both DS's heads that you don't go near the equipment with out us. So the delema begins he refuses to go unless we're with him (or just in the area not him clung to us) Billings farm says we have every right to be there(it is after all a public place) The school thinks I'm an awful parent if I don't force him to go and the principal has said so. I have called the superintendant of the schools andhe's looking into the rulings. But both have said that they'll just cancel all feild trips and they have thought about it any way.
So... Please help Advice is needed if we are way off base with this (we are not the only parents very upset) but be nice in your critisism I've spent most of the night awake about this.

Oh yeah one more thing the 4 Parent helpers where choseen by the teachers as to who has spent the most time in the class (there are 4 of us in his class that are always there) and they weren't even honest with the one they picked (I know I asked her) So advise me please.....
UPDATE !!!!
As of 2:30 my DH had a conversation w/ the principal and now it was all just a giant misunderstanding. She had ameeting with the 4 teachers involved and said that we are willing to pay and drive and this little piece of info they missed the 1st 8 times around makes all the difference. As long as we abide by Billings rules and don't talk over the instructor yadayada. More like the superindendant told her to get over it. The other parents and I figure they have had quiet parents not willing to push for things. Boy are they introuble now, if nothing else we're vocal. The bus issue got cleared up too. As long as they have 1 adult for every 2 4yr old on the big bus its fine (there are only 4 of 24 that are still 4) on the Van buses they'd have to be in car seats. Well I'm sure this will be the 1st of many hurdles to over come thank you so much for all your answers and support my Dh now understands why I call it a Dis FAMILY. He like actually read the thread! Maybe theres hope yet! Kidding he's wonderful and spends as much time on the boys as I do. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart (I'm going to bed to catch up on last nights missed sleep "see" you all in the AM).

 

[poohandwendy]

My 3 children are older now, but IMO, there is nothing stopping you from going as it is a public place. I do not understand why the school wouldn't embrace a few extra helping hands and invite you to go on your own dime and transportation. I could see their point with much older children, but with the age group you are referring to, I think they are being silly. Just my 2 cents, good luck with your decision.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I find it absolutely horrible that the school is demanding what you do with your child. They have crossed the line imho...

Also I find it extremely ODD that they will NOT allow you to be at the field trip place. I mean these are very young kids!!! I assume you would drive your own car and meet up with them, correct?

Anyway if this is their policies I think they should cancel ALL field trips because what they are doing is very wrong, as far as I can see.

If the school would not budge, I wouldn't send him. You know your child best. Make the decision that you know would be best for your family.

 

[Mermaid02]

I went on a field trip last Friday to see the elephants at the circus... I didn't even know about it until that morning when my ds (in K) said he didn't want to go to school because they had to take the bus there (he is scared to DEATH of the bus- long story). I went to the teacher, and said "Jack told me about the field trip, he's scared of the bus so I'd like to go with him." Not a problem. There would however, have been a problem if they had told me NO.

I say, if they won't let you go.... pull ds out of school that day and just "happen" to meet the school there, fancy that- what are YOU doing here?

 

[Cindy B]

Ok, first calm down. As a parent, I understand your concern. As an education student, I can tell you some of the "reasons".


From an education standpoint, kindergarten,/ Prek is readiness. Readiness is not just in reading, writing, alphabet, but social readiness as well.

Social readiness is not just with little friends, sharing, but also, and I hate to say this, less dependence on parents. I was pretty put off at my daughters school with regards to some kindergarten rules.. (no parents at the classroom, no meeting them at the door, very limited parental involvement even with parties/field trips).. until I understood.

The rules are there for this reason. The school district wants the kids to really rely on the teacher. Not that the parents are horrible, but some kids tend to act out or cry or just generally misbehave with the parents around.. and there is distractions to learning/group rules then.

As a parent of a kindergartner, I feel your pain. I understand. I also worked with 4, 5, K studnets, and we did not let the parents come along wiht the field trips as well.

 

[peg2001]

tiggereyore

If they won't let you attend and your child does not want to go without you, keep him home that day! As for learning "separation," it sounds like he doesn't have a problem separating from his parents, he goes to pre-K! He just doesn't want to go on a strange field trip without the comfort of having a parent there.

My DD6 is at a public kindergarten and they allow as many parents as want to come along on field trips! On a recent trip to the zoo, my DDs group had 5 kids to 4 parents! They do have strict rules about transportation, however. The kids have to ride the bus and the parents have to take their own transportation. Liability reasons, I believe.

Peggy

 

[WilmaBud]

As a parent of a Kindergartener and as a former K-3 teacher, I think this scenario is insane. There's no way 1 parent should be responsible for 7 pre-K children on a field trip at a public place. There's also no way they can stop you from going in your own car and meeting them there, and I would tell them that. The school does not "own" your child, and they can't dictate to you what's best for your child. You are NOT a bad parent - you are a conscientious one. There's plenty of time for "independence" and "separation" as your child grows - in fact, as peg2001 said, your son is already learning to separate in an age-appropriate manner by attending pre-K. I would put my foot down with the school, and if they want to be spiteful an "cancel all field trips," then, let them. They don't seem to take the correct approach about them anyway. Good luck, and let us know how it turns out.

 

[tiggereyore]

Thank you
Poohand wendy Me niether at this point he is still refusing to go because he know the rules and I can't convince him otherwise.
The Mystery Machine We had planned on driving and paying for ourselves ($18) and following Billings rules abt not interrupting the instructer and leaving younger kids at home. They also in 1 and 2nd grades go to one of the county fairs and if they think I won't be there dogging his every step they're out of theirs minds. It is advertised that kids day and every yr they "lose" at least 5-10 out of all the schools that go. I guess if Billings was closed to the public I would worry quite so much. but.....
Mermaid02 I hope your never in this position
CindyB I know where your coming from but my kid is not the clingy type unless he's scared and if you have 1 kid out of 7 clung to you screaming his head off and has to be removed from the area what happens to the other 6 there are no extra helpers your now above the 1/7 that the field trip place is recommending.
On top of this the school keep toting the opendoor policy and parents are welcome at any time. They just can't seem to be consitant on anything. In yesterdays mail home we now have a walking field trip to a nature store and ALL parents are invited. He also has issues with the kindergaten. He doesn't want to go, he says he doesn't like the room and isn't comfortable there. (I found out that the teacher expelled a little girl for a week cause she stood up for herself and whacked a kid whom she and the parent had complained about pinching her and the teacher did nothing abt.) I had the same feeling when I walked into that room. To make matters worse a family member is the paraprofes. in that room. On ? for you what did you do with the "special needs" kids who are the trouble makers and need to be removed at least once a week from class? My husband and I are usually beseiged by these kids when we're in the class and Levi shares us with them because he knows that he's loved and cared for and these kids don't get that and act up because of it.

Anyone else?

 

[tiggereyore]

Peggy and WilmaBud
Thank you very much it's nice to know I'm not insane abt. the number of kids to adults. I'm hoping the superintendant will call soon.
Meanwhile keep the thoughts coming I tempted to print them out and mail them to him. I'll let you know

 

[kejoda]

Well a 1 to 7 is too high. My son is going on a field trip next week and they want and will get a 1 parent to 2 kid ratio. I can't imagine being anyplace and watch 7 4-5 year old. The only reason I could think of why they would not want you there is not having enough room on the bus. We come across this many times and rarely have the boys been on a field trip where a parent couldn't meet them there. My 4th grader had 1 FT that extras couldn't go but that was a play with limited seating and they were 4th graders.

If your son doesn't want to go without you and they say no keep him home.

 

[Jenn]

As a pre-schooler my daughter went on 2 field trips. There were 3 teachers and 14 kids and they asked for any parents who wanted to chaperone and rec'd probably 5 or so. Whomever wanted to, could.

 

[JESW]

I am the mother of a DD4. I think the student/teacher ratio (1 to 7) is way off! At that age they need more supervision! DD's pre-school class has gone on several nearby field trips this school year. This last one was to a local playground. I didn't go on the bus but I did meet them there. (I take the photos - both for myself (I scrapbook) and for the teacher) There were many parent volunteers. As a matter of fact, our school encourages parents to come along. (They had a certain number who could go on the bus but if you wanted to you could meet them at the playground)

If you feel strongly about it keep your son home. He won't miss out out on a lot by staying home that day. The school CANNOT tell you what to do with your child - especially not that young! But from other things that you have said about that school, I think you have more serious problems with them than just this field trip! Sorry that you have to go through this.

On another note...

My other child is DS8. I started a thread a while back about a field trip he was going on. It was to CT (we are in MA) and they had to drive a long way on the highway. It was the furthest he would be away from us on his own. From an educational point, the field trip was a good thing and they learned a lot. From a Mom point of view, I don't like the idea of field trips. I believe that when kids go to school they should stay there - again, that's MY opinion....but that's a whole other thread.. The field trip was yesterday and they did have a good time and they did get back safe - a half hour later than they said - but safe. I am very happy that it is over with.

Jill

 

[4greatboys]

I cannot believe the school doesnt want as many parents as they can get to help out. Here our schools always welcomed the parents to go. We couldnt always ride the bus and many times had to provide our own transportation but that was never a big deal. I also dont see how 1 adult can safely watch 7 4 yr olds, thats insane. I dont think I would send him. For 1 he doesnt want to go and 2 it just doesnt sound to well supervised.

 

[tiggereyore]

bumping for update Thanks again