My sister who is joining us on our cruise in 3 months, LOST her husband of 40 yrs. BAD update

[KdKyA]

Sorry, I think I confused you. In the OP update she says her nephews went to spread their dad's ashes over his home and where he grew up and their plane crashed killing one of the boys and paralyzing the other. I heard about the crash on the news because I am not far from where it happened but I had no idea it was the family of the OP (whose thread I had read previously but not followed up on). Sorry for the confusion and I am sorry for your loss as well!

Oh wow, not sure how I missed that part, my goodness

 

[Disney1fan2002]

It just keeps getting better,my sister is now in the cardiac care unit. She was having chest pain and arm tingling on Saturday. She went to the ED, and I don't even think the EKG print out had completed to roll off the machine when they whisked her to the cardiac cath lab. 3 hours later, she has 4 stents, and they have to put another one in before she goes home. Her main artery to the heart had a 90% blockage.

I'm in Virginia and she is in Massachusetts. I talked to her yesterday morning, and I have to say the two of us just sobbed and cried for 45 minutes. The doctor had asked her is she has been under any stress lately. HA HA HA HA. Ya think? He diagnosed her with a medical term I cannot remember, but it is basically know as "broken heart syndrome". It is caused from the stress of grief.

I joked with her and told her she was going to be on that Disney ship on November 10th, if I have to drag her on in a body bag, just so I can say I took my sister on her first cruise. She told me was was adamant about going, because Scotty loved Disney and had never been on the cruise, so she was taking him with her. (I'm typing through tears now, dammit).

Hopefully this is it for my family. Her heart is cleaned up and fixed up, now let's hope 2018 hurries up and gets over so we can have a better 2019.

 

[kj2mom]

Oh my goodness, this breaks by heart but soo glad they were able to take care of her! I am in MA, if there is absolutely anything you/she needs please don't hesitate to message me!

 

[serenitynow]

I am so sorry for the challenges your family is dealing with right now. Grief can indeed result in medical issues. It sounds like she is getting good care for her condition. Now, you be sure that you take care of you as well! Being an emotional support caregiver can be very stressful. Please be sure to take care of yourself so that you can continue to care for your family during this difficult time.

 

[Carrie in AZ]

Hugs to you. Lots and lots of hugs.

 

[Jess_S]

I just saw your update. I am so very sorry for you and your whole family.

When my sister died, my parents benefited tremendously from their grief support group for parents who lost children. I mention this in case it is something your sister hasn't considered.

Again, I am so sorry and I am thinking of your family.

 

[Bonnie1222]

@Disney1fan2002 I am seeing this thread for the first time and as others have posted, there are just no words to express how deeply sorry I am for your families multiple losses and tragedies. I pray for your sister's speedy recover so she can get on that ship and let the magic of Disney and the ocean help heal her from head to toe (and all of your family).

I am also very glad to hear she is still determined to go on the cruise. Reading your thread has, just like others have said, brought me to tears. It has brought back memories of my own, and I can say from personal experience, the cruise will do her and the rest of your family good.

October 2 years ago my mother went in for hip replacement the Sunday before we were to leave on a 7 day cruise on the Fantasy. My brother and I had both begged her not to do it; we both had bad feelings and I kept telling her I am going on vacation that week, just wait. But she would hear nothing of it. Well, I said goodnight to her the evening before the surgery and that was the last time I spoke to her. She went through the surgery fine, but something happened on her way to recovery. She went without oxygen for an extended period of time and was in a coma. To help prevent brain damage they put her in hypothermia and it took 3 days to 'warm her back up'. DH and I ended up driving to TN from Florida to be there for a couple days, with the hope we would get good news and to get my dad set because my mom handles the household finances. There was no fast recovery, they said it would take time. We came back home and my brother took over. I was ready to cancel the cruise. We had insurance and there was no way I could go without her beginning to recover.

We canceled that cruise, but rebooked another one for a month later, assuming she would be on some kind of road to recovery. But then the answer came 10 days later, permanent brain damage, her body was fighting everything they did and her heart started to have issues and her blood pressure was in the 300's both numbers. She passed away that evening. My family was devastated, and I had lost my best friend. We traveled back to TN for the funeral and to help my dad with the paperwork and to ensure he could handle everything on his own. DH and I were both ready to cancel the new cruise - I thought it was wrong to go have a good time after all that had happened and honestly didn't think I could actually mentally make the trip. Everyone insisted we go, including my Dad and my job actually threatened to lock me out of my office if I didn't go.

Fast forward to cruise day. It was bittersweet getting on that ship. Then just after we get on I received several text messages from friends... there was an annual picnic going on at a club I belong to where I am in charge of their largest annual event. Well, at the picnic I had been named club member of the year. It was such a huge honor, and the first thing I wanted was to call my mom to share it with her... which was when I had my first of several "moments" while on that cruise. But the moments passed and happier moments took over because I was in my happy place. When the cruise was over, I was so glad I went and so was DH. We were able to get some rest, have time to heal and make new memories. And during one of my moments, we met 2 couples who were nearby and one had lost her mom. We sat and talked, and we have stayed friends after the cruise and I thank my mom for the introduction.

The best advice I received after my mom passed was when the urge to cry hit me.... CRY. It is part of the healing process... and the moment will pass. So, if your sister, or you feel the need to cry, let it happen, and when you are done, go on to make a new beautiful memory to replace it.

I hope you keep us informed on your sister's progress, and also a full report after the cruise.

 

[jerseygal]

The plane crash was my dad, not OP's family. I was replying to OP about losing a loved one and sailing. My dad was the crash in Santa Paula on March 31st this year.

Very sorry for the loss of your Dad as well.

 

[jerseygal]

@Disney1fan2002 I am seeing this thread for the first time and as others have posted, there are just no words to express how deeply sorry I am for your families multiple losses and tragedies. I pray for your sister's speedy recover so she can get on that ship and let the magic of Disney and the ocean help heal her from head to toe (and all of your family).

I am also very glad to hear she is still determined to go on the cruise. Reading your thread has, just like others have said, brought me to tears. It has brought back memories of my own, and I can say from personal experience, the cruise will do her and the rest of your family good.

October 2 years ago my mother went in for hip replacement the Sunday before we were to leave on a 7 day cruise on the Fantasy. My brother and I had both begged her not to do it; we both had bad feelings and I kept telling her I am going on vacation that week, just wait. But she would hear nothing of it. Well, I said goodnight to her the evening before the surgery and that was the last time I spoke to her. She went through the surgery fine, but something happened on her way to recovery. She went without oxygen for an extended period of time and was in a coma. To help prevent brain damage they put her in hypothermia and it took 3 days to 'warm her back up'. DH and I ended up driving to TN from Florida to be there for a couple days, with the hope we would get good news and to get my dad set because my mom handles the household finances. There was no fast recovery, they said it would take time. We came back home and my brother took over. I was ready to cancel the cruise. We had insurance and there was no way I could go without her beginning to recover.

We canceled that cruise, but rebooked another one for a month later, assuming she would be on some kind of road to recovery. But then the answer came 10 days later, permanent brain damage, her body was fighting everything they did and her heart started to have issues and her blood pressure was in the 300's both numbers. She passed away that evening. My family was devastated, and I had lost my best friend. We traveled back to TN for the funeral and to help my dad with the paperwork and to ensure he could handle everything on his own. DH and I were both ready to cancel the new cruise - I thought it was wrong to go have a good time after all that had happened and honestly didn't think I could actually mentally make the trip. Everyone insisted we go, including my Dad and my job actually threatened to lock me out of my office if I didn't go.

Fast forward to cruise day. It was bittersweet getting on that ship. Then just after we get on I received several text messages from friends... there was an annual picnic going on at a club I belong to where I am in charge of their largest annual event. Well, at the picnic I had been named club member of the year. It was such a huge honor, and the first thing I wanted was to call my mom to share it with her... which was when I had my first of several "moments" while on that cruise. But the moments passed and happier moments took over because I was in my happy place. When the cruise was over, I was so glad I went and so was DH. We were able to get some rest, have time to heal and make new memories. And during one of my moments, we met 2 couples who were nearby and one had lost her mom. We sat and talked, and we have stayed friends after the cruise and I thank my mom for the introduction.

The best advice I received after my mom passed was when the urge to cry hit me.... CRY. It is part of the healing process... and the moment will pass. So, if your sister, or you feel the need to cry, let it happen, and when you are done, go on to make a new beautiful memory to replace it.

I hope you keep us informed on your sister's progress, and also a full report after the cruise.

So very sorry for the loss of your Mom. What a horrible, unexpected tragedy..a hip replacement ended up with deprivation of oxygen. May she rest in peace. I lost my elderly Mom very unexpectedly Jan of '17. She took a nap and never woke up. I had just spoken with her that morning, my daily morning call. Many say that we were blessed since she didn't have to suffer with an illness; very very true, but the shock of losing your last parent in their sleep while they are well is very difficult. Only wish I had the opportunity to say goodbye. God called her home to join my beloved Dad. Was so blessed to have two good parents and our children were so blessed with wonderful grandparents in their lives; miss them so much.

 

[CarolynU]

I don't really know what to say. All I hope is that you and your sister manage to take that cruise and you find some peace.

 

[lilsonicfan]

OP, sending positive thoughts for quick recovery for your sister.
Bonnie, thank you for sharing your story - so sorry for the loss of your mom. And for the others who have posted about losses as well

 

[RedStars]

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. So many difficult updates. I hope your sister has a quick recovery and finds some peace.

 

[Bonnie1222]

@jerseygal thank you, and I am sorry for your loss as well. There is no good way for a parent to pass for the survivors, all we can hope and pray for is that there is no pain and it is peaceful for our loved ones who have passed.

@lilsonicfan thank you.

 

[jerseygal]

@jerseygal thank you, and I am sorry for your loss as well. There is no good way for a parent to pass for the survivors, all we can hope and pray for is that there is no pain and it is peaceful for our loved ones who have passed.

@lilsonicfan thank you.

THANK YOU for your kinds words of condolence. Much peace...

 

[mevelandry]

I am absolutely speechless...

I wish your sister a fast recovery from her heart problems and courage going through grief.

Keep us updated.

 

[bumbershoot]

Hopefully this is it for my family. Her heart is cleaned up and fixed up, now let's hope 2018 hurries up and gets over so we can have a better 2019.

I, too, hope your 2018 stays quiet from here. I'm so sorry.

The best advice I received after my mom passed was when the urge to cry hit me.... CRY. It is part of the healing process... and the moment will pass. So, if your sister, or you feel the need to cry, let it happen

YES.

Those who have lost people will understand. Those who don't understand haven't lost anyone and don't yet know.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

@Disney1fan2002 I am seeing this thread for the first time and as others have posted, there are just no words to express how deeply sorry I am for your families multiple losses and tragedies. I pray for your sister's speedy recover so she can get on that ship and let the magic of Disney and the ocean help heal her from head to toe (and all of your family).

I am also very glad to hear she is still determined to go on the cruise. Reading your thread has, just like others have said, brought me to tears. It has brought back memories of my own, and I can say from personal experience, the cruise will do her and the rest of your family good.

October 2 years ago my mother went in for hip replacement the Sunday before we were to leave on a 7 day cruise on the Fantasy. My brother and I had both begged her not to do it; we both had bad feelings and I kept telling her I am going on vacation that week, just wait. But she would hear nothing of it. Well, I said goodnight to her the evening before the surgery and that was the last time I spoke to her. She went through the surgery fine, but something happened on her way to recovery. She went without oxygen for an extended period of time and was in a coma. To help prevent brain damage they put her in hypothermia and it took 3 days to 'warm her back up'. DH and I ended up driving to TN from Florida to be there for a couple days, with the hope we would get good news and to get my dad set because my mom handles the household finances. There was no fast recovery, they said it would take time. We came back home and my brother took over. I was ready to cancel the cruise. We had insurance and there was no way I could go without her beginning to recover.

We canceled that cruise, but rebooked another one for a month later, assuming she would be on some kind of road to recovery. But then the answer came 10 days later, permanent brain damage, her body was fighting everything they did and her heart started to have issues and her blood pressure was in the 300's both numbers. She passed away that evening. My family was devastated, and I had lost my best friend. We traveled back to TN for the funeral and to help my dad with the paperwork and to ensure he could handle everything on his own. DH and I were both ready to cancel the new cruise - I thought it was wrong to go have a good time after all that had happened and honestly didn't think I could actually mentally make the trip. Everyone insisted we go, including my Dad and my job actually threatened to lock me out of my office if I didn't go.

Fast forward to cruise day. It was bittersweet getting on that ship. Then just after we get on I received several text messages from friends... there was an annual picnic going on at a club I belong to where I am in charge of their largest annual event. Well, at the picnic I had been named club member of the year. It was such a huge honor, and the first thing I wanted was to call my mom to share it with her... which was when I had my first of several "moments" while on that cruise. But the moments passed and happier moments took over because I was in my happy place. When the cruise was over, I was so glad I went and so was DH. We were able to get some rest, have time to heal and make new memories. And during one of my moments, we met 2 couples who were nearby and one had lost her mom. We sat and talked, and we have stayed friends after the cruise and I thank my mom for the introduction.

The best advice I received after my mom passed was when the urge to cry hit me.... CRY. It is part of the healing process... and the moment will pass. So, if your sister, or you feel the need to cry, let it happen, and when you are done, go on to make a new beautiful memory to replace it.

I hope you keep us informed on your sister's progress, and also a full report after the cruise.

Thank you for your kind words and I am so sorry for your loss. I work as a respiratory therapist, and a post -op hip patient not receiving oxygen? HORRIFYING. I am so sorry.