Neighborhoods that are like living on a College Campus

[Hikergirl]

Thanks for your answers, everyone. I was starting to think this was something new! I've also been feeling crazy--I bought a blackout shade for the window on our front door so people can't see in and know we are home!!

And I likened it to living on a college campus as it reminds me of it with all of the organized events and pep rally type of things held a couple of times a month. Just three weeks ago, the woman across from us had a live band event in her driveway for the cause of that week. Our only concern was to get back home before it began so we could get into our driveway. As long as it's not after 10 PM and we can get into the driveway, we don't care what they do as long as they don't bother us to participate.

We're tired of this as they've become more aggressive lately. I can't say anything as people would be out here with torches and pitchforks. Some poor old man complained on the site last week about being upset with the door to door stuff and got lambasted. We are introverts and just want to come and go and enjoy our home when we are here. We have our own causes and charities we quietly donate to or volunteer for. I can't stand the way these moms use this as photo ops for there kids, always posting pictures of their kids handing checks or donations over.

I would have no problem calling out their social media bullying on social media.
I would have to care about their opinion of me to let it bother me, and while I'm friendly with my neighbors, they aren't my friends or my family so I really don't care about them at all and their opinions mean nothing.
Try your best to ignore them, ignore their solicitations, ignore the social media page and just go about your business. If things escalate to the point where these neighbors are harassing you in your own home instead of just social media, involve the police.
I could not live like that, I would not just hide out and take what they are doing.

 

[mrodgers]

You all are doing it wrong. Here's the story of Jehovah's Witness that came from my boss of years ago....

He was leaving his house one evening after work and opened the door just as a young woman and older teen girl was ready to knock on the door. He looked right at them and just said, "Tonight's not a good night." He said that evening he literally watched the color drain from their faces as they turned and ran away.

See, his father owned the gun range directly across the road. Just as they were about to knock, he opens the door with a rifle slung over each shoulder, firearm holstered on each hip, ammo belt strapped across his chest over each shoulder, carrying a couple of boxes of ammo ready to walk across the road to the range when he just simply said to them, "Tonight is not a good night."

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Some poor old man complained on the site last week about being upset with the door to door stuff and got lambasted.

That's why I asked what social networking site you were speaking about because to me at least it helps figure out what you can do. If it's Facebook there's not too much recourse and I would just unfollow or leave the group because in the end it may make you feel better (mostly out of sight out of mind stuff) and then just not open the door or completely ignore every opportunity when they come; hopefully eventually they would get the message you aren't interested.

But if it's Nextdoor or eNeighbors or some other site you may have more options.

Is there a way you can report the posts to whoever is in charge of whatever site you are using? That way you're not calling public attention to it.

 

[Hikergirl]

You all are doing it wrong. Here's the story of Jehovah's Witness that came from my boss of years ago....

He was leaving his house one evening after work and opened the door just as a young woman and older teen girl was ready to knock on the door. He looked right at them and just said, "Tonight's not a good night." He said that evening he literally watched the color drain from their faces as they turned and ran away.

See, his father owned the gun range directly across the road. Just as they were about to knock, he opens the door with a rifle slung over each shoulder, firearm holstered on each hip, ammo belt strapped across his chest over each shoulder, carrying a couple of boxes of ammo ready to walk across the road to the range when he just simply said to them, "Tonight is not a good night."

 

[leebee]

I might be tempted to post much of what you wrote on their social media page- not rudely, but explain that you aren't interested in participating and mention exactly how imposing and awkward you find it. Maybe others will speak out when they discover they aren't alone in this feeling.

 

[PollyannaMom]

You all are doing it wrong. Here's the story of Jehovah's Witness that came from my boss of years ago....

He was leaving his house one evening after work and opened the door just as a young woman and older teen girl was ready to knock on the door. He looked right at them and just said, "Tonight's not a good night." He said that evening he literally watched the color drain from their faces as they turned and ran away.

See, his father owned the gun range directly across the road. Just as they were about to knock, he opens the door with a rifle slung over each shoulder, firearm holstered on each hip, ammo belt strapped across his chest over each shoulder, carrying a couple of boxes of ammo ready to walk across the road to the range when he just simply said to them, "Tonight is not a good night."

Oh my goodness, the poor dears! They must have been horrified.

I had some that were regulars here until I finally wrote back. (You know, they were always leaving me pamphlets...) Either they gave me up as a lost cause, or I converted them.

 

[NotUrsula]

Writer Elaine Viets many years ago recounted one of the funniest ways to get rid of religious canvassers that I've ever heard. This was back in the era when she was a humor columnist for the Post-Dispatch; people were always writing in to tell her funny stories. The lady answered the door, listened to the introduction, and then brightly asked the person at the door if he was a virgin ... "because we really need one for tomorrow's sacrifice." Needless to say, he couldn't make tracks fast enough.

 

[tcufrog]

I'm not religious anymore but originally I was planning to become a minister and would stay at church members' homes during the summer for internships. One summer day, a Jehovah's Witness knocked on the door. I answered the door and politely told them I couldn't talk because I was working on my sermon for Sunday. I've never seen them hot foot it out of there so fast. I guess they thought I was a lost cause.

 

[Imzadi]

We're tired of this as they've become more aggressive lately. I can't say anything as people would be out here with torches and pitchforks. Some poor old man complained on the site last week about being upset with the door to door stuff and got lambasted. We are introverts and just want to come and go and enjoy our home when we are here.

Did they finally leave the old man alone after all the lambasting? Was that the extent of it? Does anyone, really, outside of the neighborhood group really read that group's posts? Maybe you just have to keep in mind that it's going to get worse for a short time, before it gets better. Someone one used the analogy that it's like cleaning a turkey roasting pan. Once you add some soap & water, things actually seem to get worse as it mixes with the turkey drippings & grease, before it finally starts to clear up and look better. You have to push through it.

The next time one of them comes over, make it extremely clear you are not participating. That when you moved it several years, ago, it was so that you didn't have to participate in that kind of "neighborhood" stuff that has become recent, and prefer to have a peaceful, private existence at home, in terms of these group causes.

Then wait to be blasted on Facebook. When it happens, and it will, expect it, then say what you said to us:

"We are introverts and just want to come and go and enjoy our home when we are here. We have our own causes and charities we quietly donate to or volunteer for. The very fact and way you socially and publicly bully and cyber shame people who do not acquiesce to your cause, AS YOU ARE DOING HERE, is precisely why we do not and will not get involved with these causes. We will not engage in further discussion of this as I hope this makes clear our stance. Good luck on your causes. Bye on this FB group."
​

Then leave the FB group. Don't even read the future posts. You aren't going to change their thinking. Does it matter? And they want you to read their posts and give in. Then I'd be on the watch, with cell phone video camera ready, in case they come over to try to do stuff to your home or property. Shoot the video and call the police. Once it gets around the neighborhood that you mean business, when they see a police car in front, they will finally leave you alone. It may be worth it, to not even be invited to neighborhood bbqs anymore, if this is really how the group collective consciousness thinks & behaves.

 

[Imzadi]

After hearing and reading some crazy stories about suburban neighborhoods, think our eldest DS and DIL have the right idea, they live in a high rise in NYC around NYU, mainly young professionals in building. People are quite busy building careers, no fraternization with neighbors. If they see someone coming or leaving building, they say hello and that’s it. Both DS and DIL grew up in suburbia, but for now live City Life. Have a big circle of friends, not looking to befriend anyone in building, happy that way.

Exactly! NYC has a reputation of being distant & unfriendly, even to the neighbors. (There is even a Seinfeld episode on it. ) But, to not have the neighbors know too much or get into each others business is sooo worth the peace & quiet. I like being able to come and go, do a quick wave or nod hello, and that's IT.

 

[paisleys]

Exactly! NYC has a reputation of being distant & unfriendly, even to the neighbors. (There is even a Seinfeld episode on it. ) But, to not have the neighbors know too much or get into each others business is sooo worth the peace & quiet. I like being able to come and go, do a quick wave or nod hello, and that's IT.

Living in NYC is my dream! I would fit right in. I would help anyone in an emergency but don't want to be bothered otherwise.
Anyway, the situation is kind of working itself out. One of the other residents took offense to one of the main ring leader mom's comments last week and posted his opinion, he didn't say anything bad just pointed out that he thought her post was inappropriate. She went OFF on him. I liked his post and she promptly blocked me (just for the like!l). Anyway, now that I'm blocked I don't see most of the annoyance but I also now don't know when they are coming around door to door... My husband isn't blocked and will hopefully warn me in time.