Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

I think I finally convinced my DD to sign up for the French placement exam. She ended up with a "C" in French 5, but did solid "B" work in the last quarter. Unfortunately, it just wasn't enough to make up for her abysmal 3rd quarter and the onset of Senioritis. I'm not worried about the grade (one HS Senior year "C" won't tank her), but I did point out to her that with a "B" in the last quarter she obviously doesn't suck at French. If she takes the placement exam and gets a "B" in the class she's placed in she gets retroactive credit for all the classes before that! I know she doesn't want to do French again, but if she take ONE class in French she'll earn essentially a full semester's worth of credits. She would be able to slack off a bit in 3-4 semesters by taking one less class allowing her to concentrate on the classes she does take. The classes for her major are very hard and I think gutting through one semester of French will be worth it so she can concentrate more on those harder science classes.
 


My DD is in placement testing right now for English, Math and French. She *hates* standardized tests and she spent less than 1 hour preparing for all three tests, barely looking at the three 90-minute practice tests last night. After I told her about them weeks ago. Oh well. She'll either do OK on the tests and test out of Freshman Composition and Pre-Calculus math or she'll waste her time and energy doing remedial (for her) classes because she couldn't be bothered to put in a few lousy hours into studying last week. She missed out of testing out of college Calculus AB a couple weeks ago for the same reason. It frustrates me so freaking much that she doesn't seem to understand the importance of doing well on these tests so she doesn't have to take additional classes in college when she could be concentrating on something more important. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for a Calc AB Advanced Placement test miracle for next month.

I really thought that she was showing signs of maturity. This really bums me out. I warned her of the consequences of her (in)actions and she's going to have to live with it. She seemed nervous this morning ... it's a little too late for that missy!
 
This year has been a whirlwind of volleyball, softball, Senior Nights, awards ceremonies, dances, two graduations and tons of parties. She graduated from high school this past Wednesday (6/14). The out of town family left on Friday. She left for Senior Beach Week this morning, and then she's off to tour Europe. When she returns, we'll be going to orientation and then moving her into her Virginia Tech dorm. I can't quite believe it's over. Where did the time go? This Fall my nest will be EMPTY:sad:
 
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My DD is in placement testing right now for English, Math and French. She *hates* standardized tests and she spent less than 1 hour preparing for all three tests, barely looking at the three 90-minute practice tests last night. After I told her about them weeks ago. Oh well. She'll either do OK on the tests and test out of Freshman Composition and Pre-Calculus math or she'll waste her time and energy doing remedial (for her) classes because she couldn't be bothered to put in a few lousy hours into studying last week. She missed out of testing out of college Calculus AB a couple weeks ago for the same reason. It frustrates me so freaking much that she doesn't seem to understand the importance of doing well on these tests so she doesn't have to take additional classes in college when she could be concentrating on something more important. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for a Calc AB Advanced Placement test miracle for next month.

I really thought that she was showing signs of maturity. This really bums me out. I warned her of the consequences of her (in)actions and she's going to have to live with it. She seemed nervous this morning ... it's a little too late for that missy!


Good for you robinb! Looks like you're ready to have a college adult. She will need to live with her actions, and you're letting her see that.

We were at DD's freshman orientation all day Thurs and Fri. Parents and students were separated the majority of both days, going to presentations geared toward each group.
The single biggest adjustment that parents of college students have to make is taking a step back.
Let your student flounder. Let them experience adulthood and the consequences that go along with their choices.
It's tough for many parents. You've been hardwired for years to help your kids.
 
My DD is in placement testing right now for English, Math and French. She *hates* standardized tests and she spent less than 1 hour preparing for all three tests, barely looking at the three 90-minute practice tests last night. After I told her about them weeks ago. Oh well. She'll either do OK on the tests and test out of Freshman Composition and Pre-Calculus math or she'll waste her time and energy doing remedial (for her) classes because she couldn't be bothered to put in a few lousy hours into studying last week. She missed out of testing out of college Calculus AB a couple weeks ago for the same reason. It frustrates me so freaking much that she doesn't seem to understand the importance of doing well on these tests so she doesn't have to take additional classes in college when she could be concentrating on something more important. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for a Calc AB Advanced Placement test miracle for next month.

I really thought that she was showing signs of maturity. This really bums me out. I warned her of the consequences of her (in)actions and she's going to have to live with it. She seemed nervous this morning ... it's a little too late for that missy!
Ugh, I know exactly how you feel. They "think" they are so grown up and then they do stuff like this.
My DD has this complete lack of urgency attitude when it comes to just about anything and its making me crazy.
I was very glad to drop her at camp for her summer job and not disappointed when she decided to not come home for the weekend, I needed a break from her.
Of course it was Fathers Day and did she call her Dad? Nope.......she continues to hang out on my doo-doo list and I remain thankful she is away at camp
 
Lurker on the thread -- first posting. DD graduated in May.

Just took her to college registration this weekend (Anderson University, about 4 1/2 hours away). It was really well-run, and it alleviated a lot of concerns we had. They started together, divided parents from students, and the kids returned with their schedules.

DD is a music ed major and (in an effort to finish in 4 years) came back with 18 credit hours, plus orchestra. I'm not really sure she's going to be able to handle it.

Dorm move-in is in late August. Reserved a pick-up truck from Enterprise ($$$), but don't know if we'll wind up needing it. She wants to get a mini-fridge, etc., so I'm thinking that a pick-up would be the way to go (and pray for dry weather).

DD is doing drum & bugle corps this summer, so we've got all of a week and a half to get her stuff -- she's totally in charge of her laundry and packing, though.
 
My DD is in placement testing right now for English, Math and French. She *hates* standardized tests and she spent less than 1 hour preparing for all three tests, barely looking at the three 90-minute practice tests last night. After I told her about them weeks ago. Oh well. She'll either do OK on the tests and test out of Freshman Composition and Pre-Calculus math or she'll waste her time and energy doing remedial (for her) classes because she couldn't be bothered to put in a few lousy hours into studying last week. She missed out of testing out of college Calculus AB a couple weeks ago for the same reason. It frustrates me so freaking much that she doesn't seem to understand the importance of doing well on these tests so she doesn't have to take additional classes in college when she could be concentrating on something more important. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for a Calc AB Advanced Placement test miracle for next month.

I really thought that she was showing signs of maturity. This really bums me out. I warned her of the consequences of her (in)actions and she's going to have to live with it. She seemed nervous this morning ... it's a little too late for that missy!

Ugh, I know exactly how you feel. They "think" they are so grown up and then they do stuff like this.
My DD has this complete lack of urgency attitude when it comes to just about anything and its making me crazy.
I was very glad to drop her at camp for her summer job and not disappointed when she decided to not come home for the weekend, I needed a break from her.
Of course it was Fathers Day and did she call her Dad? Nope.......she continues to hang out on my doo-doo list and I remain thankful she is away at camp

I know it's frustrating, but it's really a very normal part of the process for many kids. I wish I could find the article I read years ago before even my oldest was college age. It talked about the push/pull going on with both the kids and parents, and how they both alternate between not being ready to let go and pushing away to assert the independence. One of my best friends has kids quite a bit older than mine. When her first was about two weeks from leaving college, I asked her how she was doing, thinking that she was going to say that she was so sad. Instead she told me that she couldn't wait until he was gone. His attitude and actions had been frustrating the heck out of her the last couple of weeks and was affecting the entire family. They are close and have a great relationship, but those last couple of weeks were not the moments that she had been expecting.
 
Good for you robinb! Looks like you're ready to have a college adult. She will need to live with her actions, and you're letting her see that.

We were at DD's freshman orientation all day Thurs and Fri. Parents and students were separated the majority of both days, going to presentations geared toward each group.
The single biggest adjustment that parents of college students have to make is taking a step back.
Let your student flounder. Let them experience adulthood and the consequences that go along with their choices.
It's tough for many parents. You've been hardwired for years to help your kids.
Did they cover that in orientation? Allowing them to make those mistakes is so hard! But, we all learn from our mistakes so I'm letting her make her own choices and mistakes. Frankly, I'm not sure what would be better ... having it bite her in the butt or having it all work out OK and reinforce that lackadaisical behaviour. Ugh!

Ugh, I know exactly how you feel. They "think" they are so grown up and then they do stuff like this.
My DD has this complete lack of urgency attitude when it comes to just about anything and its making me crazy.
I was very glad to drop her at camp for her summer job and not disappointed when she decided to not come home for the weekend, I needed a break from her.
Of course it was Fathers Day and did she call her Dad? Nope.......she continues to hang out on my doo-doo list and I remain thankful she is away at camp

I am so sorry she didn't call. That really sucks {{hugs}}. I remember how often I called my mom after I got out on my own in college and I hold out hope that my DD will be more generous with her time. Of course, she knows that and when she's mad at me she says things like, "When I'm away at college I will live less than 5 miles away you will NEVER see me. I won't call you and I'll NEVER come home!" She knows the right buttons to push.

BTW, your last sentence made me LOL ... "do-do list" ... LOL.

Lurker on the thread -- first posting. DD graduated in May.

Just took her to college registration this weekend (Anderson University, about 4 1/2 hours away). It was really well-run, and it alleviated a lot of concerns we had. They started together, divided parents from students, and the kids returned with their schedules.

DD is a music ed major and (in an effort to finish in 4 years) came back with 18 credit hours, plus orchestra. I'm not really sure she's going to be able to handle it.

Dorm move-in is in late August. Reserved a pick-up truck from Enterprise ($$$), but don't know if we'll wind up needing it. She wants to get a mini-fridge, etc., so I'm thinking that a pick-up would be the way to go (and pray for dry weather).

DD is doing drum & bugle corps this summer, so we've got all of a week and a half to get her stuff -- she's totally in charge of her laundry and packing, though.
Welcome out of lurking! Congratulations to your DD! My neighbor is a middle school music teacher and her LOVES it.

Wow. 18 credits seems like a lot. We have yet to do orientation, but I've read that the University of Wisconsin (where my DD is going) starts their freshman off with a lighter course load to get their feet wet in college. Does Anderson have appliance rentals? The UW has mini-fridges in every room already but I recall that Iowa State (her 2nd choice) had rentals that delivered right to the dorm room.
 
I know it's frustrating, but it's really a very normal part of the process for many kids. I wish I could find the article I read years ago before even my oldest was college age. It talked about the push/pull going on with both the kids and parents, and how they both alternate between not being ready to let go and pushing away to assert the independence. One of my best friends has kids quite a bit older than mine. When her first was about two weeks from leaving college, I asked her how she was doing, thinking that she was going to say that she was so sad. Instead she told me that she couldn't wait until he was gone. His attitude and actions had been frustrating the heck out of her the last couple of weeks and was affecting the entire family. They are close and have a great relationship, but those last couple of weeks were not the moments that she had been expecting.
I totally agree that our teens are wired to push us away as part of the growth process, I just wish it was in a constructive manner instead of being self destructive. (sigh, wishful thinking, I know) My oldest is 10 years older than DD, we've been down this road but I have to say, while DD has always been the more compliant please'er child, she has been a lot more difficult as a teenager in regards to the buttons she chooses to push and the boundaries she likes to dance on.

Did they cover that in orientation? Allowing them to make those mistakes is so hard! But, we all learn from our mistakes so I'm letting her make her own choices and mistakes. Frankly, I'm not sure what would be better ... having it bite her in the butt or having it all work out OK and reinforce that lackadaisical behaviour. Ugh!



I am so sorry she didn't call. That really sucks {{hugs}}. I remember how often I called my mom after I got out on my own in college and I hold out hope that my DD will be more generous with her time. Of course, she knows that and when she's mad at me she says things like, "When I'm away at college I will live less than 5 miles away you will NEVER see me. I won't call you and I'll NEVER come home!" She knows the right buttons to push.

BTW, your last sentence made me LOL ... "do-do list" ... LOL.

Welcome out of lurking! Congratulations to your DD! My neighbor is a middle school music teacher and her LOVES it.

Wow. 18 credits seems like a lot. We have yet to do orientation, but I've read that the University of Wisconsin (where my DD is going) starts their freshman off with a lighter course load to get their feet wet in college. Does Anderson have appliance rentals? The UW has mini-fridges in every room already but I recall that Iowa State (her 2nd choice) had rentals that delivered right to the dorm room.
Thanks - Remember, my DD is taking a gap year because her actions and lack of actions did bite her in the butt when college selections came down to the wire. I fret over this but that is just my nature. I "know" a gap year is not going to ruin her life but I really do wish she were heading off to college with all her friends.
 
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Got my DD registered for classes on Friday. Between travel to and from, it was an all day affair. I was exhausted by the end of the day and so was she.

Talking about choices biting her in the butt (or not), she neglected to take her placement tests within two weeks of her registration date despite the email instructing her to do so. I took a vacation day to take her to registration but warned her that if we got there and she wasn't able to register, she would have to find a way to get back there to register because I wasn't taking another day off for her to do so. She was sweating it the entire evening before and decided to cancel registration rather than take a chance, and then her adviser emailed her at 11:11 pm to say that she would still be able to register. In fact, about 85% of the kids there hadn't taken their placement tests. I hope she doesn't think everything will work out this way.

She will miss orientation because we're going to drop her off the day before classes on our way home from Disney, but says she's familiar enough with the campus now that she's not worried.

Good luck to all with upcoming graduation ceremonies!
 
Our school awards night is tonight, and my son is giving me a horrible time about not wanting to go. Unfortunately, my husband feels the same way (though he hasn't come right out and said that to my son, but he's also pretty much staying out of it instead of giving me complete back-up). I finally had to play the "mom card" and say, "This is the absolutely last time that I'll be in that school for one of my kids. You are going." And I'm the one that usually talks about letting them decide on things like that...
 
Did they cover that in orientation? Allowing them to make those mistakes is so hard! But, we all learn from our mistakes so I'm letting her make her own choices and mistakes. Frankly, I'm not sure what would be better ... having it bite her in the butt or having it all work out OK and reinforce that lackadaisical behaviour. Ugh!

Yes, it was a specific topic of conversation during the parent sessions. I felt it was valuable information because I've been guilty of being a helicopter at times, lol!!
 
Well, we went, and he did get several scholarships, but he certainly made his feelings known (to me) about how he felt about the whole thing. Win or loss? I'm not sure. I hope he's in a better mood for graduation... :)
 
We had a nice surprise in the mailbox today- a letter from a national scholarship awarding DD $1500! I don't know how many were awarded but the letter said there were over 600 applicants. We thought it was weird though, that they require her to send them a transcript after every semester and keep in touch with her donor- even though the money will be sent this August. It is a printing industry Foundation (her major is graphic design), so maybe there will be further opportunities if she obliges? We will certainly try to get the transcripts sent. She already has a thank you card and her acceptance form ready to mail back.

Tonight we reviewed keeping track of her new checking account and signed her up for online banking so that was productive. I should have paid some bills, but we went on a walk and she talked, then we sat on the patio all evening and talked. That was nice too.
 
We had a nice surprise in the mailbox today- a letter from a national scholarship awarding DD $1500! I don't know how many were awarded but the letter said there were over 600 applicants. We thought it was weird though, that they require her to send them a transcript after every semester and keep in touch with her donor- even though the money will be sent this August. It is a printing industry Foundation (her major is graphic design), so maybe there will be further opportunities if she obliges? We will certainly try to get the transcripts sent. She already has a thank you card and her acceptance form ready to mail back.

Tonight we reviewed keeping track of her new checking account and signed her up for online banking so that was productive. I should have paid some bills, but we went on a walk and she talked, then we sat on the patio all evening and talked. That was nice too.

Congrats!!! Awesome surprise!! Is this a one time amount? I've only seen those kinds of requirements if the scholarship renews each year. DD had an interview this evening for a local one. I'm praying she gets it!! It will really help us.

Thanks for bringing up the checking account. I think tomorrow we'll go to switch her child account that I'm custodian for, to a "real" one in her name only, set her up with checking and bank card (and teach her how to use an ATM). This is so weird!
 

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