Trying to mend a marriage

[tinksgilrs251520]

Hello everyone!

I don't know where to start but I guess I should tell you why I need advice and a place to just let go... You see on July 21, 2007 I married the love of my life.. After going through some rater rough patches we worked our problems out and we got married. Soon after that and a wonderful trip to Disney my husband was involved in a accident at work which has left him with a loss of the right hand. To say the least it was very stressful I thought as time passed we were working things out and adjusting to our new way of life. Well over the weekend my husband suffered a mild heart attack. He has choose to blame this on me and saying that I don't love him and he feels like he is just a paycheck to me. I have tried to explain to him just how much I love him and need him but I feel like I am walking on eggshells now and he has said some hurtful things to me in the last few days. How do i convince him that i love him and need him. I know alot of it is his frustration with him loosing his job because of the accident and him not working and now this but I have gone through all with him and i have tried to tell him how much i love him and he says he knows and that he loves me to but why would he say hurtful things to me ... Please help with some advice!

 

[dogodisney]

It sounds like he is angry and feeling sorry for himself, and as some of us tend to do, he's taking it out on the person he is closest to. Deep down he probably didn't mean the hurtful things he said to you.

 

[Stumpy]

I agree. I think he's frustrated and angry, plus at some level he may be trying to push you away to protect you from the trauma of dealing with him like this. Sounds strange, but I've heard of people doing this sort of thing. I work with a woman whose husband has a debilitating back injury and she said the pain and frustration sometimes get the best of him. Plus, he feels that he is not quite the man he should be for her, despite the fact that it's not his fault.

I can only speak for myself, but I think the best way you could show that you love him is to stick with him and show that you really do love him. Beyond that, he has to also be willing to change and realize that his backlash is hurting both of you.

 

[tinksgilrs251520]

thank you guys....Since I posted this we have talked more and we are realizing how we are making each other feel and have put alot on the table... its working for now but I will do anything ....

 

[Elfstar]

Your husband may need some counseling to help him accept the loss of his hand. That is as devastating an event as the death of a loved one. It could be a good opportunity for you both to work with a counselor for that and to help reconcile your other issues. Good luck to you both!