BAGHDAD The Bush Administration said it would block any attempt by Al Haig, former Secretary of State in the Reagan Administration, to seize power in Iraq.
The former cabinet secretary, now calling himself Al-Haig, arrived in Baghdad this week and held a press conference at which he declared, "I'm in charge here."
US Defense Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, who worked with Haig in the Nixon, Ford and Reagan administrations, urgently convened a press conference in Washington, and announced, "We don't want one dictatorship replaced by another. Besides, Al has pulled this stunt before, when Reagan was shot."
Asked about the recent addition of a hyphen to his name, Haig told reporters that he had recently discovered he was part Shiite Muslim.
Haig has occupied a wrecked Presidential palace and begun to receive tributes from former government employees who want their jobs back, as well as receiving spam for ***** enlargement and Viagra. He has also been resolving disputes between alley cats occupying his bathroom.
He has dispatched aides to find the former Iraqi Information Minister and to bring him back. "I need that guy," said Haig.
Haig is planning construction of many statues of himself, to be placed throughout Iraq's cities at major intersections, and has commissioned tiled paintings of himself for installation on walls of buildings on busy streets.
Harking back to his Reagan days, Haig has formed a kitchen cabinet, although this one is actually made of 1960s-era Formica which he looted from the Iraqi Museum of Antiquities. He plans to invite representatives from Bechtel, Halliburton and Enron to join him in his kitchen.
"My first priority is to get basic services working again," said Haig. "I want room service, table service and car service."
Haig is promising the mother of all battles if anyone tries to overthrow him. "I let my last power grab slip away," said Haig. ""I'm not letting go this time."
http://www.satiresearch.com/go.asp?sid=17262
The former cabinet secretary, now calling himself Al-Haig, arrived in Baghdad this week and held a press conference at which he declared, "I'm in charge here."
US Defense Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, who worked with Haig in the Nixon, Ford and Reagan administrations, urgently convened a press conference in Washington, and announced, "We don't want one dictatorship replaced by another. Besides, Al has pulled this stunt before, when Reagan was shot."
Asked about the recent addition of a hyphen to his name, Haig told reporters that he had recently discovered he was part Shiite Muslim.
Haig has occupied a wrecked Presidential palace and begun to receive tributes from former government employees who want their jobs back, as well as receiving spam for ***** enlargement and Viagra. He has also been resolving disputes between alley cats occupying his bathroom.
He has dispatched aides to find the former Iraqi Information Minister and to bring him back. "I need that guy," said Haig.
Haig is planning construction of many statues of himself, to be placed throughout Iraq's cities at major intersections, and has commissioned tiled paintings of himself for installation on walls of buildings on busy streets.
Harking back to his Reagan days, Haig has formed a kitchen cabinet, although this one is actually made of 1960s-era Formica which he looted from the Iraqi Museum of Antiquities. He plans to invite representatives from Bechtel, Halliburton and Enron to join him in his kitchen.
"My first priority is to get basic services working again," said Haig. "I want room service, table service and car service."
Haig is promising the mother of all battles if anyone tries to overthrow him. "I let my last power grab slip away," said Haig. ""I'm not letting go this time."
http://www.satiresearch.com/go.asp?sid=17262
