We are adopting!

[princess sparkle p]

Hi DIS friends! Announcement!~ We have started the process to adopt! We are so excited. I am looking for any recommendations on creative funding options or resources. I don't know why I did not think to ask here sooner! I welcome any ideas!

 

[afan]

Congratulations! I have a few friends that have adopted. A couple of them did do things to help raise money. She started selling Lularoe but this was back when it was first coming out and not something everyone can do. She also had friends that sell other things that were willing to donate some of the proceeds if she hosted a party which could be both in person and online. Another held a garage sale and asked friends/relatives to donate items for the sale.

Good Luck!

 

[Hook326]

Congratulations! We adopted our two sons I’ve been in the adoption world for 12 years now and have seen this question/answer before because adoption can be expensive depending on what route you go. My only suggestion for you is if you are thinking of fundraising with the specific goal advertised being the adoption, please don’t. Well meaning people will tell your future child they helped “pay” for them. Adult adoptees have specifically talked about this happening and how awful it felt.

Otherwise, raise funds though selling what you don’t need/want anymore, forgoing vacations, cutting cable/phone plans, etc. it all adds up. Take out a home equity if you can, you can pay it back if you’re eligible for the adoption tax credit after the adoption is completed. Also, check your work or your partners-my husbands work had an adoption assistance program that we got after the adoption was finalized.

Good luck to you!

 

[kathy884]

Congratulations! We adopted our son from Russia when he was 13 months old. He's 22 now and is and is such a joy to us. I just took money out of saving for his adoptions. Costs were about the same as buying a new car. Also, for us the state of Missouri provided a $10,000 tax credit, so some of the money went back into savings after getting that credit. Make sure to check into any employer benefits and tax credits you may be eligible for.

I'm not up on any funding things, etc. // old school and have never heard of that. Just posted to wish you the very best and say that our adopting our son was one of the very best things we've ever done.

 

[Narnia_girl]

Congratulations! What a wonderful blessing for you, your family and your future child.
I am not well versed in adoption funding, but remember reading about Steven Curtis Chapman's (Christian singer) family's adoption, and they award grants to some adoptive families. Their foundation is called Show Hope. You might look that up if applying for a grant interests you.

 

[FQLover]

I add my big congrats to you, too! I am an adoptive mom and my DD17 is the very best part of my life and has been since I met her at age 10 months. I, too, used the adoption tax credit (a credit, not a deduction) against the expenses, along with a $2K benefit from my place of work. Even if you borrowed some of the money for the expenses, you know that you would be getting a chunk of money back as soon as the adoption was complete, and you have filed your taxes. If you do not owe that amount of taxes, you can file the rest of the receipts the following tax year, too. I just looked up the tax credit now and it has increased. For 2017, it was $13, 500.00.

 

[Duchess of Warwick]

Have you considered adopting from DCSF? Foster to adopt?

We are in the process of getting licensed and having our home study approved. We have gone through other channels to adopt a baby and it was a much different more expensive and honestly heartbreaking process.

Foster to adopt is different in many ways. I'd love to chat if you are interested. I have an adoption blog that is like a personal diary.

https://soontobemommathroughadoption.weebly.com/blog/agencies

 

[FQLover]

Yes! Foster-to-adopt is another great program. I am so glad that you suggested it to OP.

 

[Alicenwonderment]

Congratulations! What a wonderful blessing for you, your family and your future child.
I am not well versed in adoption funding, but remember reading about Steven Curtis Chapman's (Christian singer) family's adoption, and they award grants to some adoptive families. Their foundation is called Show Hope. You might look that up if applying for a grant interests you.

I was going to mention their foundation too. I've heard if you work at Wendy's they offer money for adoption. Not sure how that works but Wendy was adopted. My sister's friend from high school adopted two children. One was a family member adoption so that was easier. She also adopted a child with cp (medical issues from China)that was 6 at the time. They did many types of funder raisers over a few years. Some things they did was big yard sale asking friends to donate items, 50/50 raffle, buying plots for the Super Bowl, sold Matilda Jane etc. Good luck with the process. It can be really hard emotionally from what I've heard.

 

[TwinkleKS]

Adoption is a wonderful thing! Adopting through the DCSF is a wonderful option and they do place infants as well as older children, if that is your desire.

I must admit I am not a big fan of "fundraisers" in order to adopt. Like someone mentioned above ... look at ways you can save money or make additional money. Sign up for a Dave Ramsey class and learn about living debt free. There are a limited number of grants out there. Many work places offer some money toward adoption expenses - I think $5000 or so is the norm. There are tax credits you will be eligible that can offset some of the cost.

 

[crisi]

Congrats - we adopted our oldest - he's nineteen now. We have a second "surprise" kid following right behind that is going off to college next year.

Your child costs are going to dwarf your adoption costs very quickly. Especially if you currently do not have kids. Childcare or the loss of income to stay home, diapers and formula for a newborn - if you don't have someone who will watch an infant for free or cheap, plan on $30k the first year MINIMUM. And that is the first year costs - they get a little cheaper as they get out of diapers and formula and into school, but the long term costs of having kids - from fees for sports/music lessons/dance to car insurance to an extra plane ticket for vacation to college costs - will be huge. So look at saving for the adoption as a test to see if you can really do it (and, to speak rather bluntly for a second - that you really WANT to do it, the financial sacrifices you will make will be the smallest you make to raise kids, if you resent them, you can (and should) back out). Its an advantage adoptive families get that you don't tend to get when you create your family in the more traditional manner. And trust me, people sneer at a parent's GoFundMe campaign to pay their kids soccer fees, band trip or prom expenses - and nearly every even vaguely middle class parent is shocked to find out how little money is available for college when they hit that stage.

Right now you have something you will not have with a younger child in the house - time. Get a second job....working sixteen hour days and not having weekends is the norm for parents. Money you make in excess of the adoption costs while waiting for placement can be set aside to cover all those expenses you are about to add when you don't have time for a second job.

 

[Southernmiss]

Congrats - we adopted our oldest - he's nineteen now. We have a second "surprise" kid following right behind that is going off to college next year.

Your child costs are going to dwarf your adoption costs very quickly. Especially if you currently do not have kids. Childcare or the loss of income to stay home, diapers and formula for a newborn - if you don't have someone who will watch an infant for free or cheap, plan on $30k the first year MINIMUM. And that is the first year costs - they get a little cheaper as they get out of diapers and formula and into school, but the long term costs of having kids - from fees for sports/music lessons/dance to car insurance to an extra plane ticket for vacation to college costs - will be huge. So look at saving for the adoption as a test to see if you can really do it (and, to speak rather bluntly for a second - that you really WANT to do it, the financial sacrifices you will make will be the smallest you make to raise kids, if you resent them, you can (and should) back out). Its an advantage adoptive families get that you don't tend to get when you create your family in the more traditional manner. And trust me, people sneer at a parent's GoFundMe campaign to pay their kids soccer fees, band trip or prom expenses - and nearly every even vaguely middle class parent is shocked to find out how little money is available for college when they hit that stage.

Right now you have something you will not have with a younger child in the house - time. Get a second job....working sixteen hour days and not having weekends is the norm for parents. Money you make in excess of the adoption costs while waiting for placement can be set aside to cover all those expenses you are about to add when you don't have time for a second job.

Can't like this enough.

Affording anything is tough. The 'creative fundraising ' and GoFundMe accounts for everything are out of hand.

It won't hurt anyone to cut back and tighten the strings to save for goals (or even future funeral expenses- so many 'fundraisers' for that, too. We'll all die one day)

We have several expensive family goals right now. 3 kids college expenses and early mortgage payoff, new refrigerator, home repairs and replacing old autos.

Hard work and multiple jobs are our funding source.

No vacations on the horizon at all.

 

[Duchess of Warwick]

I know I already mentioned foster to adopt through DCFS but it is much easier to do financially. Look into this, they even help pay for college in many cases.

- I think $5000 or so is the norm. There are tax credits you will be eligible that can offset some of the cost.

I'm a special education teacher and my DH is a music teacher, neither of us qualify for any type of help from work. I don't know what type of careers do offer help. The other thing that is hard with foster to adopt is that in my job I am not eligible to take maternity leave until after the adoption goes through.. this would be really hard with a new baby in the house BUT I am down for the challenge!

 

[TwinkleKS]

Instead of $5000 being the "norm" I should have said that for many larger companies they have some sort of adoption benefit, with $5000 being fairly standard (for a large company with overall good benefits). Just something you might look into.

I think a couple of posts after my original post were good at saying what I wanted to. Kids are expensive ... and in the end the adoption will be one of the least expensive things you do. Look at things you can do to afford adoption - selling items, buying less expensive items, getting a second job or "side hustle". Research grants, etc. Just don't ask other people to pay or "donate" to the cause. Frankly, that is one of my pet peeves in the adoption world.

 

[Dakota731]

I too agree that the funding pages are getting out of hand. People are asking me to pay for their pet’s medical bills, their son’s school trip among countless others. We all have our budgetary concerns and big ticket items to save for! In your case I wouldn’t hesitate in taking out a loan if you have to. People do it for cars all the time and what’s more important?

 

[Duchess of Warwick]

I too agree that the funding pages are getting out of hand. People are asking me to pay for their pet’s medical bills, their son’s school trip among countless others. We all have our budgetary concerns and big ticket items to save for! In your case I wouldn’t hesitate in taking out a loan if you have to. People do it for cars all the time and what’s more important?

I couldn't agree more. We scrimped and saved and the heartbreaking part was that in the end it didn't work out. Please research and have an attorney look over everything.

if you don't have someone who will watch an infant for free or cheap, plan on $30k the first year MINIMUM

Its a good idea to call around and get some ideas of what childcare would cost. I recently did this and found out that it will cost $266 per week for 10 hours of care per day (5 days per week). So that is 52 weeks times $266.. $13,832. I'm a teacher so it would be significantly less but it's expensive.

 

[MomToOne]

I managed to convince my company to create an adoption benefit. If your company doesn't offer one, start lobbying for one. I was surprised how easy it was to get one going.

Take time to research and understand the adoption tax credit - it's a big help. Unfortunately the income limits were lower when I adopted, so I didn't qualify, but they raised them and it is much better now.

Scrutinize your agency's fees, to see what is required and what is optional. I just noticed that the adoption agency I used 17 years ago to adopt DD from China now has a $750 optional fee to handle "coordinating" some of the document preparation. I did all that on my own back in the day (they didn't offer the service back then) - as long as you are organized, it isn't a big deal. And honestly, it kept me busy and pre-occupied during all the various periods I had to wait for other people to do things!

 

[FQLover]

"I managed to convince my company to create an adoption benefit. If your company doesn't offer one, start lobbying for one. I was surprised how easy it was to get one going."

Great idea! My employer had one in place for a decade or two before I needed it ($2K) but I am sure it was one employee who lobbied for it back then. And the same with maternity leave for an adoptive parent (after the child is home with you) and not just for a birth parent. I probably have some people I don't even know to thank for pushing for those policies before I was even hired. I am grateful that my employer saw the fairness in the leave and, also, wanted to encourage adoption by giving the 2K, after all the legalities were finished up and I turned in receipts. Of course, I did not turn in those same receipts to the government for the tax credit; there is no double dipping.

 

[crisi]

I couldn't agree more. We scrimped and saved and the heartbreaking part was that in the end it didn't work out. Please research and have an attorney look over everything.



Its a good idea to call around and get some ideas of what childcare would cost. I recently did this and found out that it will cost $266 per week for 10 hours of care per day (5 days per week). So that is 52 weeks times $266.. $13,832. I'm a teacher so it would be significantly less but it's expensive.

That's before the diapers, wipes, formula, new clothes every few weeks, the various accouterments of baby dom - strollers, pack and plays, toys that are outgrown in weeks.....

 

[kymom99]

I agree with the post that says to look at how you can tighten your belt. We didn't adopt but my son was conceived through in vitro fertilization. There was no way of knowing how much it might cost, because it depended on the reason for the infertility and whether or not procedures are successful. We just had to adjust our spending to come up with the expenses. It's a process that ended up taking 2 years. We figured we would try until our money ran out because realistically you only have so much time to become parents. So starting with diagnosis and treatment it took a long time and there were pretty many bills. Fortunately this was during the time of HMOs and $10 co pays. Some of the tests were covered. The actual procedures and fertility drugs mostly were not.

During this time we didn't buy anything new. No vacations. Just put all our focus on our efforts. I don't remember really missing anything that we did without.

As far as actually having children, child care varies greatly, like anything else, based on location. And you adjust your priorities to afford what your child needs.