Would you go if someone paid your way?

[fanofpan]

If someone in your family paid for your entire trip to Disney, would you take them up on the offer and go? We have offered to cover the cost of a trip for my brother in law and his family, so they can spend some time at Disney with us, but they are being a little stubborn about it. They want to go, but they feel weird about us paying for it. We know they do not have a lot of money, but that was not the basis on why we asked them to come on the trip with us, although I get the feeling they think it is. We occasionally pay the expenses for members of our family to take trips with us, as it is something we enjoy doing, and we really want to spend a few fun day's at the happiest place on earth with them. Their Kids are 8 and 10 so they are prime age for a trip like this. If you were offered a trip would you take it, or decline? Just curious as I know I would take it. I hope we can persuade them not to worry about it, and to go and have a great time.

 

[boscoj]

I'm in kind of the same situation with my brother...As for us, they have taken us up on our offer. I guess the way we look at it is that if the situations were reversed financially, they would extend the same offer to us. They live in Seattle and us in Hawaii and anytime that we can get together well heck with the egos. We are all family and what better way to spend it together than at "The Happiest Place on Earth"!

 

[scanmom]

I can see their reason for hesitation, but I think they should do it....I think if you were to offer it as a christmas gift, or something like that, maybe they would feel better about accepting the offer. I know that is how my BIL would be. I have always wanted to take my BIL's family, he is raising his kids alone, and could never afford a disney trip. But alas, with us having 6 in our family, it is already hard to afford disney! Maybe one day......

 

[AmyBeth68]

Oh Yes, I think if I were in their situation I would take you up on it. However, we would probably try to do something really special for you during the trip such as treating you to a wonderful, special dinner, etc. That way we could show our appreciation for your kind gesture. My in-laws used to pay for us when we were just married and struggling financially. They had DVC property so we could stay with them and they paid for our park tickets. We have never forgotten their generosity and we try to repay them with nice gestures each time they go to WDW with us.

But it is true that some people don't like to take hand-outs...even though that isn't what this is. He must have a lot of pride and I can really respect that. I hope this works out for you all, since it sounds like it would be so much fun for the kids! Any chance that you could offer to take the kids? Maybe they'd be more willing if it was just the children, even though it would be sad for the grown-ups to miss out on the fun. It might be more palatable for them? Good Luck!

 

[Lollipop's Mom]

I would hesitate, as it is hard to take 'charity' from people (not charity - but you know what I mean).
But then again, I know I would end up saying yes.
So....if your bro in law turns you down.....do you want to adopt us? LOL!

I think he is probably just feeling funny that he cant provide this trip for his kids on his own - its probably a male ego thing.

 

[carmel]

Hubby, DDs and I just got back from a week long cruise to eastern Mexico. We took my parents along and paid their way. When they balked, I explained to them that I was actually being pretty selfish as taking them along would enhance *my* time. We live 360 miles a part and I wanted to give my girls this experience with them. It is all true. I wasn't out for any humanitarian thing (I don't think you are either) but having them along with us just made it more fun.

Maybe if you explain that it is not a charity case and it would make your trip more enjoyable, it would make them feel more comfortable.

Hope this helps.

 

[missmulan]

i can understand why they might be hesitant because this is truly a HUGE gift. i don't take anything from anyone unless i earned it. not to say that your brother didn't earn it but i'm sure he would feel better paying his own way for his family. it would be very humbling to feel so "indebted" to someone throughout the whole trip even tho' they are not expected to return the money.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

Do you live close enough that you could make it feel less like "charity" by having your B.I.L help you with a project around the house or something? Perhaps it would make him more comfortable with the idea if he felt he was contributing something. BTW, I think it is wonderful that you are doing this and hope he takes you up on the offer.

 

[disneychrista]

Heck I keep trying to get my dad to spring for a trip for us to WDW. But so far, no luck.

I think it would really depend on who was paying and why (in my mind at least) they were doing so.

 

[fanofpan]

Lollipops Mom,
I would love to adopt you.lol. My 10 year old daughter would have a blast hanging out with your daughter. She has always wanted a sister, but has one older brother and one very much younger brother instead.

We Do not live close enough for my BIL To do any projects around the house or yard for us, as my DH is in the military and we have lived away from most of the family for the biggest part of the last 16 years. They are in Utah and we are currently stationed in Colorado. Which is one of the reasons we like to take trips with our family and have a little time to spend with them, doing memorable things. We chose Disneyland because we have heard my SIL talking about wishing they could go, when we have been home on leave. and we are huge Disney fans. Although we did DisneyWorld 3 years ago, it has been 8 years since we have been to Disneyland and we would love to go and see the new park and everything else that has changed. We do not want them to feel as though this is Charity, so maybe I can come of with something they can do for us. If they decide not to go, we will still take our kids and go. It would just be so much nicer to have them there with us. The only others in our family that have not been to Disneyland is my MIL and FIL, but her with current health conditions, that kind of trip would be to hard on her. Also my brother and his family, but he has major back problems right now, due to an accident, and is getting ready for surgery, and we have done other trips with his family in the past.

I really appreciate all of your input on this, and I am going to continue to work on getting them there with us. Best to all.

 

[Blackunicorn]

Hello, fellow Coloradoan!

I would tell them pretty much exactly what you told us--that you're going to go, and having them along would enhance the experience. Tell them that you would enjoy spending time with them, and so would the kids. Tell them how important this is to you. Maybe ask them if there's something you can do to make them feel more comfortable with it, like let them pay for a meal or two or something like that.

I completely understand being uncomfortable accepting something this big. Good luck! I hope to be able to do something like this for my family someday, too.

 

[JC Butterfly]

Hmmmm, maybe remind your brother that you have done it for other members of the family?

I'm not sure HOW bad their situation is. Is it that they can't pay for any portion of the trip? Or just that they can't pay for transportation/hotel? Like would they be in a position to pay for some of their meals? or yours too?

My husband and I recently took his mother to Disney World with us. We said that we'd be happy to pay for as much of the trip as she'd let us but that she could feel free to make some choices too.

For example, I showed her menus from the area so she could see what our dining options are. My husband and I tend to do a lot of sit down type restaurants but after talking with her, we knew she'd be comfortable with more of a mix of sit down and fast food. This enabled her to pay for more.

Same thing with accomodations, my husband and I "downgraded" a little bit from where we'd normally stay so that she could feel like she could pay for part of it.

Maybe you could work it out that your brother would watch all the kids for a night so that you and hubby could have some quality time alone. Thus fueling the idea that inviting them along is also HELPING you -- it's not "charity" it's a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Also focus on how you'd love to spend your vacation time WITH your family and what a great time it will be to get together. I hope it all works out well!

 

[fanofpan]

Update.

BIL and family have decided to go with us. YEAH! We are really excited to share the magic with them, and I want to thank you all for your thoughts. As soon as they said Yes, we didn't waste any time getting them plane tickets, before they had a chance to change their minds. We will be there with them April 19-24.
DH and I are taking our kids to sea world on the 18th, due to the generosity of Anheuser- busch giving the military free passes. Now I just need to figure out how to make the countdown clock work.

 

[missmulan]

fanofpan: good things happen to good people.....you are good people! i can tell that you are sincere about giving this vacation to your BIL & his family, with no strings attached.

on another note.....as an American, i thank you for serving this beautiful country!

 

[cindercopper]

I did this once for my SIL and her 2 kids (8 and 10). None of them had been to DL. I gave her a card at the beginning of the year and inside I wrote Happy Birthday to both children and her. I explained to all of them this was their "birthday present" this year from us. By giving the card a few months in advance it gave her time to set aside some spending money for her own group.