No more manners

[BigAlsGal]

Drive your car. There's your seat.

 

[prprincess]

My husband and boys always offer their seats. But when I went solo with the boys in August, I was surprised at the lack of offers I got.

 

[Pumbaa_]

If a seat is required, you always have the option of waiting for the next bus, no?

I will never judge those seated, I have no idea of knowing if they have medical issues or not. They were at the front of the line and get to sit, regardless of issues or not.

 

[TavieP]

(I think this is an obvious troll thread but I'm going to reply anyway in good faith)

Everyone saying "you can always wait for the next bus", the bus stops at the Magic Kingdom, at least, don't have any seating at all, so they're waiting for another bus and still standing.

Just saying... this "wait for the next bus if you need a seat" thing only goes so far, it's going to increase your standing time even more in a lot of cases if you just let the bus go by.

 

[Pumbaa_]

absolutely! but it is still an option

which is why people will stand even when they maybe should not. Everyone just wants to get back to their room at the end of the night

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

(I think this is an obvious troll thread but I'm going to reply anyway in good faith)

Everyone saying "you can always wait for the next bus", the bus stops at the Magic Kingdom, at least, don't have any seating at all, so they're waiting for another bus and still standing.

Just saying... this "wait for the next bus if you need a seat" thing only goes so far, it's going to increase your standing time even more in a lot of cases if you just let the bus go by.

True, but instead of rushing to the exit, to stand in line, and then on the bus; wait in the park.

On the rare days that I don't take my scooter, we stay until the crowd dies down. It is pretty easy to find a bench and just people watch. I've never had anyone tell me to move on. And if I did, I would simply tell them that I am having a rest.

 

[Simba's Mom]

I have been pleasantly surprised at the many, many times I have been offered a seat. It is very gratif I ying and very appreciated. And yes, I do wait for another bus that is not full, but sometimes the pain causes me to get on a crowded bus.
So, chivalry is not dead. And the kindness and consideration of others is appreciated, but not expected. And I find that manners are still to be found.

Yes, I've had the same experience. I recently started needing an ECV at WDW. I've had people see me from far away and stand and hold the door open until I got there. One time when I was in the restroom, my cane fell and a little girl, maybe 3-4 yo came over from across the room and picked it up. When my 80 yo mother was with me (pre-ECV), not only did people offer her a seat on almost every transportation, but a few times, I was also offered an adjacent seat "So your mother won't be alone". No, chivalry is NOT dead.

 

[Smittolis]

I find that people will perceive acts (or lack thereof) through their own particular lens. I don't necessarily think there is any more or any less from my own experience, however, people are more perceptive based upon their own expectations. A good way of putting it is when you buy a new car and all of a sudden you see them everywhere! Is it due to the fact there are actually more of them? Or is it that you are just more aware based upon your own perspective?

I have witnessed many chivalrous actions from both young and old alike all over Disney, so from my own biased perspective I think it is alive and well! However, I have also seen instances that weren't so forthcoming. As stated, not all disabilities are obvious so its not for us to judge. I for one will always offer my seat to someone who may be in more need than myself, I want to set that example to my own children. But I also want them to understand that we don't judge with our eyes, but we need to do so with our hearts. That way they meet people where they are.

While Disney is a fantabulous dream fulfilling experience, I would hazard a guess it is also the graveyard for many a relationship! lol stress and fatigue being the 2 biggest contributing factors, so that is always something to consider.

 

[BLAZEY]

My husband will offer his seat to a lady, or anyone else he believes needs it more than him. I have mild cerebral palsy, and will stand on the bus if there is someone more in need of it than I. DH has also assisted with strollers on or off the buses.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I've taught my son to give up his seat for a woman, elderly or someone who just needs it more than he does. To me it's just a part of having manners. I have also offered up my seat to someone who needed it more than I did.

 

[MikeOhio]

Honestly I think it's insulting to insinuate that a woman can't stand on a bus just as easily as a man could. I would never give up my seat to someone just because they are a woman. It's 2017, women aren't the weaker sex. The whole idea of giving up a seat the woman plays on the old idea that women are weaker and fragile.

Now giving up a seat to someone elderly or with some other ailment is a whole different matter.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Honestly I think it's insulting to insinuate that a woman can't stand on a bus just as easily as a man could. I would never give up my seat to someone just because they are a woman. It's 2017, women aren't the weaker sex. The whole idea of giving up a seat the woman plays on the old idea that women are weaker and fragile.

Now giving up a seat to someone elderly or with some other ailment is a whole different matter.

If I'm feeling good, I give up my seat to men all the time...it's not about weaker/stronger...it's about being nice to other people. If a family gets on board and where I'm sitting would let them sit together, (as a lady) I've stood up and given the gentleman the seat. Now, not many actually take it (but some do), but they all appreciate the offer. No one has ever said "why are you doing that - I'm man enough to stand."

Just like when I recently attended a dinner potluck party. We let the dietary needs folks hit the buffet 1st, then the kids, then the rest of us b/c all of the adults would eat most any of it, but we all didn't want any food contamination for those who couldn't have it, and we knew there were dishes the kids probably wouldn't like, so we wanted to make sure they got what they would like. Yes, we could have just all hit the food together and whoever got in line 1st got 1st dibs...but then, we might have possibly ruined the potluck for multiple families. I remember I didn't even get a dessert b/c I was talking when that buffet started and really, it didn't bug me b/c I probably didn't need it anyway, and pleasant people are worth more than any sugary calories.

It's about making the world a pleasant place for people, not about "getting mine." The more pleasant the world is for everyone, the more pleasant it ends up being for you, so it's a win-win...

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

As a woman, it doesn't really bother me. From about age 6 or 7 our parents made us stand up on crowded buses and offer our seats to others. I'm young, I'm 22, I've lost 85 lbs and I'm in shape. I will always offer my seat to others on a crowded bus. At work if we're low on seats I'll even stand at my computer and chart. I refuse to sit if someone older than me has to stand. But that's me! I don't judge others.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

So I have somewhat funny story. This happened 8 years ago on a bus back from Blizzard Beach. I was only 19, but was a few months post-op from hip surgery and had fallen down the stairs in a slide queue earlier that day, so needless to say, my hip was very sore. I got on the bus and sat next to a woman and her three kids (one on her lap, and two small kids sharing the seat between us). A couple minutes later, an older woman with a cane came on the bus and started looking around for a seat, but none were available. I stood up and offered her my seat and she graciously accepted. We started moving and I was a bit unsteady on my feet, but trying my best not to fall... until we came to what felt like a very abrupt stop at a stop light. The momentum pushed me forward and my knees crumpled underneath me. Immediately, the woman holding her toddler jumped up and helped me to my feet. Never in my life have I seen someone holding a child move so quickly. She then sat back down, scooping up a second kid into her lap, so she was holding two of her kids, had the third kid move as close to her as she could. The older woman who I had offered my seat to slid on over next to the kid, grabbed my hand and pulled me into the half of the seat remaining just before the bus took off again. We ended up talking on the rest of the ride to the resort and I mentioned about my hip injury. She asked me why I gave up my seat if I needed one as well. That sparked a friendly discussion about differences in generations. She said that when she was younger, it was commonplace for any man, regardless of age or physical ability to offer a seat to any woman regardless of their age or physical ability. She stated that, while nice, it shouldn't be that way where someone who is less able offers a seat to someone who is more able just because of age or gender. The problem arises however that it often isn't apparent just by looking at someone what their physical abilities are and she mentioned how looking at me standing, no one would ever know that I have a hip problem. Since so many things are not visible to the naked eye, it's unfair to judge people or expect them to give up a seat when they could have difficulties too. She also was adamant that someone young with an invisible issue should not feel obligated to stand for anyone else if that is going to cause them difficulty. Although no one else on the bus offered a seat, I don't judge any of them, because I have no idea what they are going through. It is interesting however that it does often seem like the people willing to help are those who understand what it is like to have difficulty, in my case a mom with 3 kids and an older woman with a cane. That whole trip I encountered several small children or elderly people who offered help to me in a variety of situations. I do feel like small acts of kindness are not seen super often, but I also feel like many people have high expectations and judge others when they do not know them. Personally, the way I weigh situations regarding to kindness to others now is if I can help someone out while causing minimal discomfort for myself, I will always do it, ie if a mother holding a sleeping child needs to sit and I am worn out but not experiencing a hip flare, I will offer the seat, even though my feet are killing me and I'd really like to sit. If I had to sit and no seats were available, I would wait for the next bus. I will say though, that sometimes it's hard to see if there will be available seats until you're on the bus and if a bunch of people get on behind you, it isn't always easy to get back off. So I also try not to judge those that need a seat but don't get off and wait for the next bus. There are many factors that can go into that situation. No one should expect someone to give up their seat, but no one should be judged for remaining on the bus either.

 

[Srbright]

Honestly I think it's insulting to insinuate that a woman can't stand on a bus just as easily as a man could. I would never give up my seat to someone just because they are a woman. It's 2017, women aren't the weaker sex. The whole idea of giving up a seat the woman plays on the old idea that women are weaker and fragile.

Now giving up a seat to someone elderly or with some other ailment is a whole different matter.

Yes, fortunately gone are the times where "good manners" dictated that women couldn't leave the house or go to social functions with out an escort. Or when a "proper lady" never spoke to a divorcee.

Social folkways change all the time.

Stacy

 

[klbrow11]

I would feel super crappy if I sat while someone who needed it was standing. I don't care how tired my feet were I would move my lazy butt up and give it to the mom holding a sleeping child, disabled, or elderly.

 

[charmed59]

Would folks who would give their seat to a mom holding a sleeping child also give their seat to a dad holding a sleeping child? I tend to offer my seat to anyone holding a sleeping child.

 

[bdcp]

I think it's very nice when a man holds a door for me or gets up and offers me their seat (I'm 57 and in very good health so no issues there). My two DS and my DH have all had women tell them "I can open the door myself" after they have opened it and offered to let them go through. Talk about lack of manners. No good deed goes unpunished sometimes. I see nothing wrong with chivalry and the times it is appreciated far outweigh the ones that make the comments that the men in my family have heard. DH has offered his seat on WDW buses many times and it's always been appreciated and he's always been thanked for it.

I remember when my oldest DS was about 4 (he's 33 now) and he opened the door for an older woman as we were leaving a fast food restaurant. She just gushed over him and he loved it.

 

[pixiedustie]

I don't expect anyone, male or female to give me their seat, I am perfectly capable of standing if I chose to board a bus with no open seats. My husband has joint problems and him getting a rest after walking in the park all day is perfectly fine by me, I would rather he sit while I stand because my body handles it better. I also will not tell my tired kids that they must stand because other people chose to board a bus with no open seating, if you need a seat wait for the next bus! Our last trip I stood while my kids sat and a mother made her 11 year old offer me his seat, even though he was to short to reach the hand rail. I declined and she was so insistent and forceful that he stand while I sit because I was a woman that the whole ride home from the park was uncomfortable.

 

[nursejackie]

I echo the other comments, we can't go on about equality for women in all areas of life, but then expect men to give up their seats for us, because we are too weak or frail to cope with standing up on the bus for 15 minutes. However, I would expect a man OR woman to give up their seat to the old, infirm, frail, pregnant or someone with a babe in arms, that is manners.