ESA issue

[Searc]

I’m I the only one wondering why so many college kids needs ESAs these days

They want pets at college, that's why.

 

[LSUmiss]

Yes I know your profession and that doesn't mean much in this topic as clearly others in the profession don't agree with you. I'm not out to convince you it's whatev just be careful how you approach the topic you never know how that animal may be helping someone and why they needed help in the first place.

Some ppl are motivated by $$$. I have not seen one person in this area “prescribe” an ESA who was practicing in a public setting. This is mostly a private practice thing where ppl get paid way more so, of course, they’re more willing to do things like that. Most of us work with clients on coping skills so they can function in society without any crutch.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

Have to agree to disagree as I honestly think the ESA thing is mostly nonsense altogether & I’m a mental health professional.
ETA: imo I think that’s part of the reason they’re not recognized/protected by ADA laws.

Hey!!! How dare you talk about my emotional support chicken like that!!!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Some ppl are motivated by $$$. I have not seen one person in this area “prescribe” an ESA who was practicing in a public setting. This is mostly a private practice thing where ppl get paid way more so, of course, they’re more willing to do things like that. Most of us work with clients on coping skills so they can function in society without any crutch.

What's your point though because you're not saying anything that people don't already know about. I'm responding to your discussion on the ESA a whole but really you do you. (ETA: Sorry not intending to come off rude here, though I realize that's how it may have come off).

There are people who are in good faith prescribed or strongly suggested by their mental health provider an ESA. Like a variety of things in the mental health field not everyone is going to agree on every method. Just be careful when discussing it with live people, especially given your profession, who may have an ESA and for good reason. It's unfortunate for those people that the others out there take advantage.

 

[LSUmiss]

What's your point though because you're not saying anything that people don't already know about. I'm responding to your discussion on the ESA a whole but really you do you. (ETA: Sorry not intending to come off rude here, though I realize that's how it may have come off).

There are people who are in good faith prescribed or strongly suggested by their mental health provider an ESA. Like a variety of things in the mental health field not everyone is going to agree on every method. Just be careful when discussing it with live people, especially given your profession, who may have an ESA and for good reason. It's unfortunate for those people that the others out there take advantage.

The discussion with you evolved b/c you felt the need to comment on what was mostly a joke that I made with a pp. I responded to your post about that & here we are.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

The discussion with you evolved b/c you felt the need to comment on what was mostly a joke that I made with a pp. I responded to your post about that & here we are.

mmkk

 

[TeresaBelle]

@mnrose that all sounds very reasonable.

OP, is the roommate unwilling to take 100% responsibility for any damage? I'm not sure if I missed what you said regarding that.

The roommates discussed their concerns with her about noise, damage, cleaning, etc. That's when she said she'd provide ear plugs. She did say she'd be responsible for any damages. DD and the other two roommates felt they needed something in writing so they wrote up a 'Roommate Agreement' and DD took it to student legal services to have it looked over, and they told her it looked good. Then the girl left for winter break without a word to them. They emailed her the agreement, asking her to read it over and sign. No response. Then sent a text asking her to acknowledge that she'd received. She replied, "yeah". Then nothing for two weeks. They texted again early this week and her only reply was "ok". They hope she will stick to her word and sign, but they can't make her.

 

[Hikergirl]

The roommates discussed their concerns with her about noise, damage, cleaning, etc. That's when she said she'd provide ear plugs. She did say she'd be responsible for any damages. DD and the other two roommates felt they needed something in writing so they wrote up a 'Roommate Agreement' and DD took it to student legal services to have it looked over, and they told her it looked good. Then the girl left for winter break without a word to them. They emailed her the agreement, asking her to read it over and sign. No response. Then sent a text asking her to acknowledge that she'd received. She replied, "yeah". Then nothing for two weeks. They texted again early this week and her only reply was "ok". They hope she will stick to her word and sign, but they can't make her.

Hopefully she agrees to sign it. Maybe the puppy will end up being too much work for her and she'll send it home to mom and dad

 

[wgeo]

The roommates discussed their concerns with her about noise, damage, cleaning, etc. That's when she said she'd provide ear plugs. She did say she'd be responsible for any damages. DD and the other two roommates felt they needed something in writing so they wrote up a 'Roommate Agreement' and DD took it to student legal services to have it looked over, and they told her it looked good. Then the girl left for winter break without a word to them. They emailed her the agreement, asking her to read it over and sign. No response. Then sent a text asking her to acknowledge that she'd received. She replied, "yeah". Then nothing for two weeks. They texted again early this week and her only reply was "ok". They hope she will stick to her word and sign, but they can't make her.

Perchance she's having second doubts? One can hope.

Edit: Second doubts? should be second thoughts - I shouldn't type when tired lol

 

[Dznypal]

Gee I thought ESA had to be accepted anywhere a true service animal. If this person needs an ESA what good is it to her if she has to leave it in a cage while she’s in school and working 2 jobs. I thought ESA go everywhere the person does but just for the record I second guess the true meaning of ESA. I feel sorry for this poor puppy. It’s going to spend most of its life in a cage and only let out when it’s convenient for its owner. She should get a fish. Less responsibility

 

[kaytieeldr]

Gee I thought ESA had to be accepted anywhere a true service animal.

Nope. Legally only rental housing and airplanes.

If this person needs an ESA what good is it to her if she has to leave it in a cage while she’s in school and working 2 jobs.

Exactly.

 

[ZZBane]

Huskies and Dalmatians suffer from a PR problem. Movies, television and books have romanticized the breed. The reality of these dogs is FAR from what Disney would have you believe. We had a dalmatian when I was in high school. Our vet freaked out when we brought him in for puppy shots, chastising us for buying the dog when we have small children in the house and neighborhood. We had no idea dals were known to be territorial and aggressive (luckily ours wasn't). The vet eventually grew to love our guy. But every dal I've ever known since then was a bit of a monster (have a friend whose dog bit her husbands lip OFF). The huskies I know are hyper, loud, shed-crazy balls of energy.

Yep! My mom adopted a Dalmatian when we were young because she had one growing up. My brothers were 4&5 or 5&6....somewhere in there and I was 13 or 14. Well the dog ended up attacking my youngest brother. I had to tackle it and drag it down the stairs to lock it into the garage. My brother had a large open wound on his side because the hospital wouldn’t stitch a dog bite. He had a mild fear of dogs for a little while. And the Dalmatian was only with us maybe a day when it happened.

 

[Lilsia]

It's not that complicated. She is part of a joint lease. She can walk away without penalty. The responsibility lies with the remaining roommates to fill the void. The only other option is ALL the roommates agreeing to break the lease and divide the lease break penalty equally, and go their separate ways.

They can't force her out, but they can threaten to leave her high and dry, and she may reconsider this ridiculous plan.

That is not at all how it works.

 

[Lilsia]

Yes I know your profession and that doesn't mean much in this topic as clearly others in the profession don't agree with you. I'm not out to convince you it's whatev just be careful how you approach the topic you never know how that animal may be helping someone and why they needed help in the first place.

Well that is the reason why people have pets isn't it, because they give us comfort. So in essence, everyone with a pet has an emotional support animal. But humans need to come before animals. In the case of the OP, this one roommate's need for and ESA for her stress has now caused undue stress on the other girls. Who's need is greater in this instance? If a person feels like they need an ESA, then they should do the responsible thing and not burden others with it. She should have waited until she moved out on her own and not put this on the other roommates. It is also very concerning that she seems to have little care for the actual puppy. With her schedule, the puppy will be neglected. I can't imagine how anyone can put their own emotional needs over the welfare of an animal like that.

 

[Lilsia]

Some ppl are motivated by $$$. I have not seen one person in this area “prescribe” an ESA who was practicing in a public setting. This is mostly a private practice thing where ppl get paid way more so, of course, they’re more willing to do things like that. Most of us work with clients on coping skills so they can function in society without any crutch.

What's your point though because you're not saying anything that people don't already know about. I'm responding to your discussion on the ESA a whole but really you do you. (ETA: Sorry not intending to come off rude here, though I realize that's how it may have come off).

There are people who are in good faith prescribed or strongly suggested by their mental health provider an ESA. Like a variety of things in the mental health field not everyone is going to agree on every method. Just be careful when discussing it with live people, especially given your profession, who may have an ESA and for good reason. It's unfortunate for those people that the others out there take advantage.

So reading both of your quotes, got me thinking. I can see how an ESA can help people, and what Mack says about it being a crutch is probably true also. What I want to know is how people who have an ESA handle it when the dog dies. They don't have the longest life span and if someone uses them as their anchor, how devastating is it when that happens. I am heartbroken and depressed when my cats die, and I don't have the emotional problems that others do. Wouldn't it be better to have learned other methods to deal with your emotional issues instead of relying on something that won't always be there? I am truly trying to understand.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Well that is the reason why people have pets isn't it, because they give us comfort. So in essence, everyone with a pet has an emotional support animal.

A lot of people do get comfort from our pets. But that doesn't equate to helping when it comes all sorts of reasons why people have ESAs. I get it that the concept is hard for some people to grasp or at least separate between the boundary of pet and ESA but that may simply be because we don't suffer from whatever it is that others do that have ESAs (for legit reasons). Or for anyone who does suffer from something they may not gain anything from having an ESA. We're not all the same nor do we react the same. Unfortunately for so many they can only focus on the people who use ESAs in the very wrong way.

In the case of the OP, this one roommate's need for and ESA for her stress has now caused undue stress on the other girls. Who's need is greater in this instance?

That's really a situation for the roommates to handle. None of us, even the OP, can answer that question and neither can the roommates because they haven't even lived in it yet it's just the idea that is making them balk (not that they don't have a reason to do so for sure). Living with roommates comes with all sorts of stressors. From the roommate that never cleans up, to the one who never does their fair share of the choirs, to the one who lets their significant other just move in, to the one who eats others food, to the one who never pays, etc. I'm not saying one is worse than the other but it's something people run into all the time. And sometimes one makes the decision no matter how unfair they may think it is, they opt to move out than deal with it.

f a person feels like they need an ESA, then they should do the responsible thing and not burden others with it. She should have waited until she moved out on her own and not put this on the other roommates.

Well for one not all roommates would have an issue with this so I can't say that's the responsible t. I don't disagree that there are obvious concerns over what the ESA means for the roommates though. On the topic of she should have waited..that is if we use the presumption she's using the dog as an ESA under false pretenses (which may very well be true) but if she's not using the dog under false pretenses then it's not a "just wait til you move out" type situation. That doesn't mean she couldn't have moved out but that doesn't mean she should have to wait to move out if she truly needed the ESA--that's like telling someone wait 6 months for meds even though you could benefit from them now.

It is also very concerning that she seems to have little care for the actual puppy. With her schedule, the puppy will be neglected. I can't imagine how anyone can put their own emotional needs over the welfare of an animal like that.

It's kinda a hot bed topic but there's plenty of posters on the Boards the discuss crate training dogs and keep them in their crates for extended periods of time. I don't personally agree with that but I think some people forget that people do that all the time. For sure I understand the concern but I'm not entirely certain what the roommate will officially be doing because well I'm not the person in question. As far as emotional needs..that's kinda harsh IMO but I think that may be because ESA is not something you necessarily get behind (not that I don't understand) in terms of the concept. I'm a big animal lover so don't think I'm being flippant in this regards. I'm as much thinking about the welfare of the dog as I think a lot of people here.

 

[DLgal]

That is not at all how it works.

That's how it worked in the apartment community I lived in in college. And that's how it works at all the apartments in the college town I currently live in, 20 years later.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

What I want to know is how people who have an ESA handle it when the dog dies. They don't have the longest life span and if someone uses them as their anchor, how devastating is it when that happens.

Well to be honest that is no different I'm sure than owners of SAs. You bond with them just the same. You think someone who has a SA for PTSD who has relied upon the SA to be there for them isn't going to feel grief when the SA passes? Or an SA who is there for someone who is battling depression or someone who is autistic and has an SA? An SA is there for a strict purpose but we don't just assume that people feel no grief when they pass. I don't know why we would attribute anything less just because the animal in question is classified as an ESA rather than an SA. It's really the unfortunate reality of life that the animal we may depend on will not be there forever.

Wouldn't it be better to have learned other methods to deal with your emotional issues instead of relying on something that won't always be there? I am truly trying to understand.

Maybe because I have a dear friend with an ESA because she was raped I get it more. She is trying to deal with her emotional issues (which I would never personally describe her situation as she just has emotional issues).

She does not need an SA (something that people think you should just get instead of an ESA even though one's issues aren't tit for tat with an SA). She takes medication but her ESA calms her down very fast and provides her with a security that she just can't get elsewhere and something that is tangible that medication cannot provide her. She does not need her ESA with her 24/7 (another misconception) but she does rely on her ESA especially at night when she is alone in the dark because it triggers her and her ESA does help her when she's out walking by herself it gives her more confidence and has attuned to her tensing of muscles and reading of her breathing when she feels my friend is getting too anxious. One may simply think "just get a dog it's the same thing right no need to label it something"..but it's not it just isn't the same thing. Working with her mental health provider the goal is to ease off the medication she takes for anti-anxiety. She does work and her anxiety isn't crippling but it does affect her life.

 

[gwynne]

Putting a little puppy in a crate while the owner goes on with her busy college life and 2 jobs doesn't sound kind to me. Even if the owner cleans all the potty messes out of the crate at the end of the day, it's no way for a puppy to be treated. The alternative of letting it run through the apt unsupervised isn't good either.
Most people wait to take on a new BIG responsibility until they can manage more in their life.
I don't see how it's healthy to demand something like this in a roommate situation, even if it's legal.
Just my opinion, making an effort to get along, give and take, compromise and respect for others are all part of cordial roommate relationships.

 

[Lilsia]

Well for one not all roommates would have an issue with this so I can't say that's the responsible t. I don't disagree that there are obvious concerns over what the ESA means for the roommates though. On the topic of she should have waited..that is if we use the presumption she's using the dog as an ESA under false pretenses (which may very well be true) but if she's not using the dog under false pretenses then it's not a "just wait til you move out" type situation. That doesn't mean she couldn't have moved out but that doesn't mean she should have to wait to move out if she truly needed the ESA--that's like telling someone wait 6 months for meds even though you could benefit from them now

I don't agree with this at all. The "medication" is affecting those around her. It is not the same thing at all. It is her own personal responsibility to make sure that she is not a burden on others. You can not just push an animal on someone else in their home. This is not like going for a visit with a service animal, this is the home of those other girls too. You obviously have a personal interest because your daughter has one, but it is egregious to do this to others when they so clearly do not want the animal in their home. Again, it is putting that 1 person's needs over the others.