That's definitely the case for some people on the boards, but its not the case in this thread. As mentioned, if you had expressed that you spoke to managers and other servers in your initial post, we could have sympathized with you. Nothing posted in response is meant to be negative or offend you. Its difficult to tell tone in type, and people here often bluntly just tell it like it is with no malice intended.
Hindsight is 20/20 and you don't feel you could have done anything differently - that is totally fine. Some people are not confrontational and don't want to cause a row. I get that. Our responses here are more for the benefit of others who find themselves in a similar situation. I would still assert that people need to advocate for themselves - don't wait 45 minutes for dessert, wait 10 or 15 before you do something about it. Find a manger or another server. Go to the host/hostess. Wait outside the kitchen if you have to. The restaurant is not without staff. Alternatively, if the manager offered dessert to go and a person didn't want that, one would be within their right to request a discount on the bill if its not offered. You're not getting one of the courses you paid for. I think that would be another acceptable remedy rather than accepting the restaurant's poor service.