Am I wrong to still Feel so Upset About This?

[JoJo1678]

We just got back from our first ever cruise. We were on the Disney Fantasy, and it exceeded my expectations at every level. I wrote numerous thank you notes and cast compliments.

However, on embarkation day we had an upsetting run in with a cast member.
We were exploring the ship, and wondered into the Skyline club. A big group of people were inside and stopped to stare at us. I explained that we were just exploring and the bar tender told us it was a private class going on. We apologized and left. Seconds later, as we were exiting into The Tube, the bar tender ran up behind us and grabbed the door from us and started checking it out. She then accused us of forcing the door open. We told her we hadn't forced anything open. It was unlocked. We just opened the door and went in. There were no signs or anything. She just continued telling us we had forced the door open, so we just left. After we left, we saw that some of the other clubs had signs in front of them about the private class, but the door we went through didn't. I then saw the bar tender going down the hall to grab a sign.
I feel like this was so uncalled for. First of all, it is on her to make sure signs are up and doors are locked. Secondly, it was a non-issue. We litterally apologized and left the second she told us it was a private class. Why in the world would someone feel the need to escalate that situation by chasing us down and making baseless accusations against us? Did she really think we wanted to be in her class so bad we were ramming down doors or picking locks to get in? I did tell another crew member, one in a white uniform, who apologized and assured us they would use signs from now on, should I just let it go?

 

[Lisa F]

Well you reported it (probably to an officer) who apologized to you and promised to address it - so what more are you expecting to happen at this point if you don't let it go?

 

[JoJo1678]

Nothing, lol, I'm not wanting to report it again or have anything else happen from the cruise line.. I just want to know if others would have been as upset over this. A little perspective is what I want I guess.

 

[lklgoodman]

You made an innocent mistake. Sounds like bartender either realized someone forgot to put the sign up and was trying to cover it up by blaming you. Or it is possible because the private tastings are something passengers pay for, the bartenders may be told to make sure only those who paid get in. They used to let people watch without paying, but stopped several years ago. Either way, the way she behaved is NOT the way DCL would ever want any cm to behave. We've done 8 DCL cruises and have never had a cm act that way. You said you had a great cruise, so try to let this go. Don't let it ruin the other great memories you made.

 

[lklgoodman]

Nothing, lol, I'm not wanting to report it again or have anything else happen from the cruise line.. I just want to know if others would have been as upset over this. A little perspective is what I want I guess.

Anytime someone treats you badly it is perfectly normal to be upset about it.

 

[Wiltony]

We were on the Disney Fantasy, and it exceeded my expectations at every level. I wrote numerous thank you notes and cast compliments.

That is your perspective!

Don't let it ruin your experience, give some grace, and just move on. Things are bound to happen sometimes. It's what you do when they happen that really matters.

 

[Shoktherapy]

Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence. It sounds like the bartender was possibly trying to cover up her own(or someone else's) incompetence by suggesting that your group may have forced the door open that should have been locked. It's hard not to take it personal when accused - I understand and I think you handled it well by explaining the situation to another crew member. Continuing to dwell on it though, is pointless. In the words of Queen Elsa, "Let it go"

 

[scrappinginontario]

You had a great cruise and reported the issue so it’s time to move on, for your sake. I don’t agree with how the cm handled it but you’ve done what you can so remember all the good from the cruise and let this one negative go unless you plan to pursue it further.

 

[Peaseblossom36]

Did they chase you or just follow to the door to check and lock it? Could it have been a language issue where they were asking if you forced the door vs accusing you? Maybe someone else was supposed to put up the sign and didn't do their job and the frustration with that bled through.

I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable, but I would try to put it behind me and remember all the positives.

 

[JoJo1678]

Did they chase you or just follow to the door to check and lock it? Could it have been a language issue where they were asking if you forced the door vs accusing you? Maybe someone else was supposed to put up the sign and didn't do their job and the frustration with that bled through.

I'm sorry it made you uncomfortable, but I would try to put it behind me and remember all the positives.

She definitely accused us. I thought at first she was just asking us so I explained that it was unlocked and then she started telling me off and saying that she had locked it and we had forced the door open.
But as everyone has said it's probably best to let it go now and move on with my life. Lol

 

[Lisa F]

Nothing, lol, I'm not wanting to report it again or have anything else happen from the cruise line.. I just want to know if others would have been as upset over this. A little perspective is what I want I guess.

you were not wrong to be upset in the moment, but now you need to let it go. I probably would not have been AS upset as you, if you are still upset over it after the fact. Just more "what the heck was that?" and as others have said probably trying to cover up their own mistake. In the moment we react how we react, but as of now you are giving it permission to have space in your head.

 

[auntlynne]

Never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence. It sounds like the bartender was possibly trying to cover up her own(or someone else's) incompetence by suggesting that your group may have forced the door open that should have been locked. It's hard not to take it personal when accused - I understand and I think you handled it well by explaining the situation to another crew member. Continuing to dwell on it though, is pointless. In the words of Queen Elsa, "Let it go"

1000 times!

…OP: I am happy to hear you shook it off enough to have a cruise that exceeded your expectations.

The best thing you did was report it to an officer - taking it up the chain of command.

I also know it would be easy to have this follow you for years in your memory.

A lot of people are sensitive to being reprimanded or accused for something they did in innocence - like opening that door. You will never know why they reacted that way. Possibly a chain of events. If you can switch it to “remember when that crazed CM ran down the hall after we walked in on the tasting?” Perhaps it won’t feel so critical. It may become lore for your cruising history.

For decades, I didn’t like making phone calls, because the life guards at the pool answered my six yo self ”is the pool open now” with “no, the water is too wet” after a rain. Yes, I can make phone calls now.

But the Lopez couple were right…

 

[Peaseblossom36]

She definitely accused us. I thought at first she was just asking us so I explained that it was unlocked and then she started telling me off and saying that she had locked it and we had forced the door open.
But as everyone has said it's probably best to let it go now and move on with my life. Lol

I do get it. I would have also been upset, and told someone. I also would have likely ended up avoiding that bar the entire time, hoping I wouldn’t bump into them again. And despite my advice would also still be thinking about it, but I would also try to think of all the good things that happened especially now that the trip is over and you won’t be running into them again.

I still sometimes think about the bad excursion in Jamaica and that was in 2019.

 

[cwis]

I know this is the internet, and people like to tell their lives, comment on things, and comment on other people's lifes.

OP, I am not to judge if the situation you describe was appropriate (even if by your words, it seems very odd, and as someone easily triggered by things like this, it would have made me very uncomfortable).

However you did seem to report it and that's your best call.

If at this point you are still on board, and still feel unwell about it, ask the exact same question to Guest Services. Tell your story, tell it has already been reported and that's not the point, tell that it impacts your vacation because somehow you're questioning the morale of what happened. Don't ask for anything in particular, just share your state of mind. I am sure the crew at Guest Services has receive appropriate training regarding these matter, and will help you out much more than what we, the people of the internet, might do.

And, if you've already debarked, just email Disney Cruise Line, and share your story as well.

It looks like, in your head, it well beyond the point of the actual thing that happened.

 

[DWillowBay]

"Why in the world would someone feel the need to escalate that situation by chasing us down and making baseless accusations against us? Did she really think we wanted to be in her class so bad we were ramming down doors or picking locks to get in? I did tell another crew member, one in a white uniform, who apologized and assured us they would use signs from now on, should I just let it go?"

The answer to your very fair question is because she got exposed for not completing ALL of the set-up for the class and was embarrassed. No excuse for her bad behavior, though. You did the right thing by alerting someone in authority and now you can chalk that up to...there are more nice people in the world than there are not-nice people. The unfortunate part is that the not-nice people tend to stand out. It's all on her and I bet she never forgets the sign or the door ever again. You helped her. That was nice of you...considering!

 

[Flcruising]

I heard a cast member/bar tender make a sharp comment to someone who stepped in to a closed function. This may be an area where management needs to do some role play training. There are ways to handle it without the sharpness. Maybe "OH hi, I'm sorry this is a closed event right now. But I'd love to see you come back in an hour."
Unfortunately you are going to remember this incident. It could have happened on any cruise line.
You do seem focused on many great aspects of you cruise. Realistically that's all you can do at this point. Hope you can shake it off.

 

[SeanSD]

1000 times!

…OP: I am happy to hear you shook it off enough to have a cruise that exceeded your expectations.

The best thing you did was report it to an officer - taking it up the chain of command.

I also know it would be easy to have this follow you for years in your memory.

A lot of people are sensitive to being reprimanded or accused for something they did in innocence - like opening that door. You will never know why they reacted that way. Possibly a chain of events. If you can switch it to “remember when that crazed CM ran down the hall after we walked in on the tasting?” Perhaps it won’t feel so critical. It may become lore for your cruising history.

For decades, I didn’t like making phone calls, because the life guards at the pool answered my six yo self ”is the pool open now” with “no, the water is too wet” after a rain. Yes, I can make phone calls now.

But the Lopez couple were right…

“If you can switch it to “remember when that crazed CM ran down the hall after we walked in on the tasting?” Perhaps it won’t feel so critical. It may become lore for your cruising history.“

Exactly. Sometimes something like this will eventually be something you can laugh at. Every time you see a private class sign say to each other “ let’s break the door down”. Or look around at each other suspicious, like you’re about to sneak in. It was absurd for her to act like that and she was probably covering for herself or someone that didn’t do their duty. A smile and “sorry this is a private class” and then walking back and saying “sorry we are supposed to have signs and locked, our bad” would have been more appropriate and pleasant. People do have bad days and 99% of the time it will be other passengers not CMs. Think of it as you taking the rare bullet for us!

 

[Cheburashka]

We just got back from our first ever cruise. We were on the Disney Fantasy, and it exceeded my expectations at every level. I wrote numerous thank you notes and cast compliments.

However, on embarkation day we had an upsetting run in with a cast member.
We were exploring the ship, and wondered into the Skyline club. A big group of people were inside and stopped to stare at us. I explained that we were just exploring and the bar tender told us it was a private class going on. We apologized and left. Seconds later, as we were exiting into The Tube, the bar tender ran up behind us and grabbed the door from us and started checking it out. She then accused us of forcing the door open. We told her we hadn't forced anything open. It was unlocked. We just opened the door and went in. There were no signs or anything. She just continued telling us we had forced the door open, so we just left. After we left, we saw that some of the other clubs had signs in front of them about the private class, but the door we went through didn't. I then saw the bar tender going down the hall to grab a sign.
I feel like this was so uncalled for. First of all, it is on her to make sure signs are up and doors are locked. Secondly, it was a non-issue. We litterally apologized and left the second she told us it was a private class. Why in the world would someone feel the need to escalate that situation by chasing us down and making baseless accusations against us? Did she really think we wanted to be in her class so bad we were ramming down doors or picking locks to get in? I did tell another crew member, one in a white uniform, who apologized and assured us they would use signs from now on, should I just let it go?

I would have reported that to Guest Services. Not a cruise-ruining issue by any means, but yes, it was uncalled for. Telling Guest Services alerts management to the problem so that they can address it with that part of the cruise staff.

 

[Karin1984]

You are probably still upset because it triggered something deep. A feeling of justice or things being fair might be a core value for you, I guess?

Sometimes life is not fair and you are treated unfairly. Nothing you can do about it now. It has happened and will not change. Time to forget it.