An adult threatened my 6 year old

MamaBelle4

DIS Veteran
Joined
Feb 29, 2016
On Saturday, we went to a local grocery store. While we were there, we came across an employee stocking shelves with noise cancelling headphones on. We proceeded to walk around her.

While we were walking past a seaweed display, DS6 said, "Seaweed? Who eats that?" And I told him a lot of people do. He asked if it was healthy and I said it's healthier than some things.

It was then that the employee interjected herself "You'd better not be talking about my seaweed display, I just finished it!"

DS6 got shy and walked from beside the cart to right beside me and DH and I kind of chuckled it off and we kept walking. She then said:

"I'll shove some seaweed down your throat, boy."

A male employee immediately said, "Woah, hey!" And we walked to the next aisle and stopped. I think I was in shock.

I looked down at the cart and told DH we weren't buying a damned thing there and to take the kids out to the car. I walked to the register and told them what had happened. Though when I walked up, the one cashier said, what did she do now?, clearly talking about that employee.

I left my name and told them I expected a call from management as I was tempted to file a police report. She just randomly threatened a 6 year old.

When we got I the car - DS6 asked me, "Can we never go in there again?"

Saturday evening, I also emailed corporate.

I received an email from the owner today telling me that the employee was just attempting to joke with my son and hasn't had an issue the entire time she's worked there but she agreed it was inappropriate and offered me a $20 gift card.

What do I do here? That is clearly an insufficient response.
 
Wow ....sure, it sounded like a sarcastic joke at first but addressing your son like that was definitely wrong. I would never shop at that particular store again. And quite frankly, $20 wouldn't be enough for me to shop at any other locations either -unless you have no other options. I think you handled it exactly as I would have....
 
The fact they had noise cancelling headphones on would be strike one, then telling a customer what they should be commenting about would be strike two, saying anything to my kid like that would be strike three. I'm gone, not going to come back and going to tell that story to everyone I know or can reach online. The only response from management should have been that person no longer is employed here.
 


It
Is there a possibility the employee is on the Spectrum?
Was not relayed to me nor do I think it is fair to speculate that. She may have been, she may be awkward, she may be easily overstimulated. She could have any number of issues or accomodations based on issues, but if she thinks it is appropriate for her to threaten a child, she should not be client facing.
 
Is there a possibility the employee is on the Spectrum?

That was my exact thought.
A differently abled employee. The headphones and the store would be my giveaways. Grocery stores are known to hire MANY differently abled folks. Usually, they don't do front-facing customer tasks, but maybe the store displays couldn't wait for a slow shopping period.
My store usually employs them as baggers, cart crew, and stocking.
 


It

Was not relayed to me nor do I think it is fair to speculate that. She may have been, she may be awkward, she may be easily overstimulated. She could have any number of issues or accomodations based on issues, but if she thinks it is appropriate for her to threaten a child, she should not be client facing.

They can't tell you the employee is differently abled. That would be an enormous ADA violation since an employer is never allowed to share an employee's disability info with anyone (except certain supervisors who have a need to know b/c of work tasks and the disability).
 
That was my exact thought.
A differently abled employee. The headphones and the store would be my giveaways. Grocery stores are known to hire MANY differently abled folks. Usually, they don't do front-facing customer tasks, but maybe the store displays couldn't wait for a slow shopping period.
My store usually employs them as baggers, cart crew, and stocking.
I have seen this employee on several occasions when shopping there, interacting with customers. And the cashier's response was, "what did she do now?" Which clearly indicates this is an ongoing issue.
 
They can't tell you the employee is differently abled. That would be an enormous ADA violation since an employer is never allowed to share an employee's disability info with anyone (except certain supervisors who have a need to know b/c of work tasks and the disability).
Obviously they cannot. I am not saying they should have.

I am saying I have no knowledge on whether she is or not so I don't believe it is fair to speculate.
 
Obviously they cannot. I am not saying they should have.

I am saying I have no knowledge on whether she is or not so I don't believe it is fair to speculate.

It's not speculation. Noise canceling headphones are not standard employee attire or supplies for grocery store employees. So, the fact the employee had them is likely due to an accommodation.

The only speculation would be what need the accommodation was meeting.
 
What do I do here? That is clearly an insufficient response.

Well I guess I'd pose the question: What is it you WANT done? And what exactly were you expecting as a response beyond what you got?

Stuff happens. People act in inappropriate ways for a variety of reasons. You decided to leave and took your disposable income elsewhere. You can teach your child that sometimes people act towards us in odd ways and you simply walked away from the situation so as not to escalate it. But I'm not exactly sure what else you want done about this? I don't think it's something to fret about, it's a isolated incident. It's over. "what do I do here?"...nothing. There is nothing to do. Move on.
 
It's not speculation. Noise canceling headphones are not standard employee attire or supplies for grocery store employees. So, the fact the employee had them is likely due to an accommodation.

The only speculation would be what need the accommodation was meeting.
Which is why I will not comment on whether I believe she is neurodivergent or neurotypical. The accommodation could easily be for sensitive hearing. I do not know for a fact and I don't think it's right to speculate about someone's mental health and abilities.
 
Well I guess I'd pose the question: What is it you WANT done? And what exactly were you expecting as a response beyond what you got?

Stuff happens. People act in inappropriate ways for a variety of reasons. You decided to leave and took your disposable income elsewhere. You can teach your child that sometimes people act towards us in odd ways and you simply walked away from the situation so as not to escalate it. But I'm not exactly sure what else you want done about this? I don't think it's something to fret about, it's a isolated incident. It's over. "what do I do here?"...nothing. There is nothing to do. Move on.

The store owner went out of her way to lie to me. She didn't know that the cashier made the, "what did she do now?" comment, which tells me that whatever addressing of the situation occurs, will not be effective.

She never asked me to hear the details, she just went off of the report.

It's an isolated incident FOR ME because we won't be going back. This repeat behavior tells me it won't be an isolated incident long term.

I don't want anything. I just want to be sure that proper action is taken. That store sits in an area where it is highly utilized and a cheaper option than most.
 
Yes. It was a strange and inappropriate comment, and yes I would have mentioned it to management, but unless I literally thought the employee would shove something down my child’s throat, I’d most likely continue to shop there. It did sound like it may have been a bad attempt at a joke. So, yeah. I’d just let it go.
 
Yes. It was a strange and inappropriate comment, and yes I would have mentioned it to management, but unless I literally thought the employee would shove something down my child’s throat, I’d most likely continue to shop there. It did sound like it may have been a bad attempt at a joke. So, yeah. I’d just let it go.
That is how I feel as well.
 
That is a lot of violence directed at a little kid.

Whatever was going on it registered with you an menacing enough to proceed ahead, I think you should totally trust that. I would totally press charges mostly because the employer seems ok with ignoring it which means this person could have access to kids and is plainly unhinged. That was a violent threat at a 6 YO, who does that???

If you thought it was a joke you wouldn't have reacted the way you did, again trust yourself. There might not be an adult there next time.
 

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