Another dating question: Have you ever asked the asker what their career is before accepting a date and turned them down because of it?

[Buzz Rules]

She’s married. Take a trip. They just really love American accents which I find hilarious since never ever has anyone called my accent sexy.

When I can afford it, I definitely will. I have ancestry from the UK and it's definitely on my bucket list. I would definitely go out with a Scottswoman if she was interested.

 

[georgina]

i have never asked someone out/been asked out by a complete stranger. I have always know the people and what their jobs were before dating. (I'm over 60 and have been married for 35 years, so no online dating.)

 

[snowwite]

It’s been such a huge let down w Dating Apps. The first time I tried, I had to delete the app after 20 mins

Before I met my husband I had a LOT of really bad dates. A married guy looking for a bit on the side. A guy who kept looking at himself in like every reflective surface (even the spoons!), a guy who offered me drugs, a guy who smelled sooooo bad, a guy who was so rude to the waitress and more. I once said I forgot something in my car and just drove away. The drug guy I just immediately left. Married guy I didn’t know until we went on several walks and to a movie. Once I found out that was it. My grandma used to say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

 

[_19disnA]

Not on any dating apps but anyone who's first question is "what is your job" would be an immediate disqualification.

I agree. Anyone who starts the conversation asking that seems more interested in knowing how well off you are instead of getting to know you as a person.

 

[ronandannette]

I agree. Anyone who starts the conversation asking that seems more interested in knowing how well off you are instead of getting to know you as a person.

I don't really agree with this. In many social situations (not just between potential dating partners) the conversation about career/what one does for a living comes up very early as a topic of discussion. I'd venture to say it is one of the first things that comes up and a perfectly legitimate way of connecting. After all, most people spend a very large part of their time and life energy on their work and are often in fields that are of great personal interest to them.

 

[DLgal]

I agree. Anyone who starts the conversation asking that seems more interested in knowing how well off you are instead of getting to know you as a person.

It seems to be a distinctly American thing to ask "what do you do?", almost immediately when meeting anyone new. I like to answer this question literally, since I'm a stay at home mom. I say something like, "whatever I feel like doing." It always perplexes people.

But seriously, I don't find this question to be a strange one, especially in dating someone.

Plus, simply knowing someone's job doesn't tell you anything about their financial situation.

 

[White Cat]

Another dating question: Have you ever asked the asker what their career is before accepting a date and turned them down because of it?

I knew my wife for a number of years so I’m not sure how it ever came up.

By nature women are very hypergamous so it’s bound to come up one way or another. Especially after a certain age. The more money a man has a higher income the more choices he has.

That said, it’s still strange that some women will mate with or get married to a drug addict or someone with out a future.

 

[fla4fun]

I don't really agree with this. In many social situations (not just between potential dating partners) the conversation about career/what one does for a living comes up very early as a topic of discussion. I'd venture to say it is one of the first things that comes up and a perfectly legitimate way of connecting. After all, most people spend a very large part of their time and life energy on their work and are often in fields that are of great personal interest to them.

I agree. I think the timing matters as well. The OP’s question implied the career question would be asked prior to accepting a date, perhaps even at the time the person was asked out. That timing seems a lot more shallow and suspect than accepting a date and then, while on the date, asking about careers as part of the “get to know each other” phase.

A career choice can tell you a lot about a person other than income. It can indicate whether they are creative or analytical, and whether they like being on their own or surrounded by others. It can give you clues as to how empathetic a person might be, and if they have been at the same company for some time, it tells you how dependable they might be. I think it’s important to know that information early in the dating process (date one or two) but I don’t think it’s necessary to know before dating them at all. I accept a date if I feel I have chemistry with someone and use the first few dates to discover whether we are compatible otherwise.

 

[Buzz Rules]

To clarify, I'm not saying asking about a career before accepting a date is a good thing, I'm just curious if anyone actually has done it. Prejudgements can happen anytime someone is asked out (it's not right but I have seen it happen).

 

[disneychrista]

To clarify, I'm not saying asking about a career before accepting a date is a good thing, I'm just curious if anyone actually has done it. Prejudgements can happen anytime someone is asked out (it's not right but I have seen it happen).

Right or wrong I am always a little leery about anyone who lists their job (on online dating sites) as self-employed or ask me. It could mean so many things but I always see it as meaning unemployed. Why not at least list the industry you are self-employed in?

 

[Buzz Rules]

Right or wrong I am always a little leery about anyone who lists their job (on online dating sites) as self-employed or ask me. It could mean so many things but I always see it as meaning unemployed. Why not at least list the industry you are self-employed in?

Online, I totally understand that. But in person face to face initially.....

 

[disneychrista]

Online, I totally understand that. But in person face to face initially.....

No experience with face to face meeting/ask out where I didn't already know the persons profession/job.