Another perfume vent

[disykat]

Some people just have very oily scalps. My son is one of them. That scalp smell is in his room and on his pillow. When he lived with me I was washing/changing his pillowcases a lot. My best friend's daughter has the same issue.

Adolescents are the worst in this regard! I remember this topic coming up many times here on the DIS when my kids were that age. I remember when my boys turned about 11 and how different their hair smelled.

 

[paisleys]

Lying had its place, sometimes to help from hurting feelings. If you don't feel it's right to lie in this case just tell her the trueth. It's up to her to handle the trueth, not you. Or just put up with it.

So my choices are lying, hurting feelings or asphyxia...hmmm asphyxia will win

 

[dish rag]

So my choices are lying, hurting feelings or asphyxia...hmmm asphyxia will win

Hurt feelings, if she would even be hurt, soon leave and are moved on from if the person is rational, if they aren't rational or can't move on it's out of your hands.

 

[Summer2018]

My DD and I continue to struggle with letting people know about our allergy to scents.

She has a coworker who must bathe in a vat of cheap cologne. DD tried to avoid offending her coworker, so she consulted Human Resources as to the best way to approach her coworker. The HR person took it upon herself to explain DD's allergy to the coworker, who in turn screamed and my DD about going to HR behind her back. So, as much as DD tried to handle it professionally, it still came back to bite her. Now the coworker wears even more cologne and purposely gets in DD's face as often as possible. Some people can be real jerks.

My assistant was wearing too much perfume in my classroom. I let her know that I'm allergic to whatever she's wearing. I told her that she could continue to wear her scent, but it would be necessary for me to open the windows even in the winter. She gets cold easily, so she chose to tone down how much cologne she wears. Problem solved. When some of our 4 year-old male students began coming to school with all kinds of strong overpowering scents on in the fall, she suddenly understood my problem. She was getting headaches from all of the cologne in our room and begged me to write a letter to the parents asking them to stop dousing their sons with after-shave and cologne. I spoke with families, and followed up with a letter when that didn't work. We now have a scent-free classroom, and all of us can breathe easily.

Sometimes you will make people defensive and even angry. It's the risk you take. Personally, I try to be very respectful and straight to the point. "I'm at risk of having an asthma attack because I'm reacting to the scents around me. It would help me if you could avoid wearing perfume around me in the future. Thank you so much for understanding." If people do not comply, I will avoid them and throw open the windows of my classroom, car, and home depending on the circumstances.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I was confused about why you were talking about driving.

I was just saying that's where. I am the most nervous

 

[Kellykins1218]

I was just saying that's where. I am the most nervous

Thanks. I had no clue what you were getting at there lol.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

What's I've learned from my son's shellfish allergy (shrimp particularly) is that when cooking foods, actually molecules of the food go airborne in the steam and can be inhaled. People with allergies or sensitivities can definitely react. Not all allergenic food proteins have a molecular weight light enough to cause inhalation allergies, but some do. For curry, I am going to absolutely bet that curry proteins go airborne and settle into walls, carpets, fabric, etc.

That's really interesting. When I was younger, I had trouble breathing, itchy/watery eyes, and nausea whenever my mom cooked shrimp scampi, even when I didn't eat it. As an adult, I went to a Red Lobster once and despite not eating anything (I'm vegetarian but DH really wanted to go and I wasn't hungry), my throat started closing on the way home. While I always assumed I had a shellfish allergy (got very sick when my mom made me eat said shrimp as a kid), it always kind of baffled me how I could react so strongly when not eating or touching it. I didn't even consider the possibility of airborne inhalation allergy.

 

[wowsmom]

I thought I was the only one who noticed this. I have a "routine" with my weekly grocery shopping. It's about 9AM every Sunday morning. Lots of other morning people in there also. There's usually one person per week in there who has not washed their hair. I generally can't tell by sight, but when I'm about 6 feet from them, the smell of dirty scalp hits me. I don't get a reaction or anything like that, but it's a clear odor that, personally, I wouldn't want to have lingering on my own body.

I have that same problem. I used to hate going to Starbucks on Sunday mornings because so many people seemed to roll out of bed, throw on sweatpants & head for their coffee and they would stink so bad!!!

 

[DisneyOma]

I had a friend (who sadly passed away from cancer a while ago) who had such horrible allergies to quite a few things that she ended up moving out of her home and heading further north to get away from whatever it was around here that triggered the worst of her attacks. But she did get some relief with a portable air purifier that she could wear around her neck. OP, have you tried that?

 

[disykat]

I had a friend (who sadly passed away from cancer a while ago) who had such horrible allergies to quite a few things that she ended up moving out of her home and heading further north to get away from whatever it was around here that triggered the worst of her attacks. But she did get some relief with a portable air purifier that she could wear around her neck. OP, have you tried that?

The portable air purifier is one thing I haven't tried, but already have some on my amazon list to try after this week's incident. Every time I've mentioned it to my allergists, etc. they tell me they don't work so I've never given it a shot. (I generally use hepa filters, not ionic and then there's the whole ozone thing) I think I will now that I've had an incident I literally couldn't avoid. I think I have one chosen and plan to order today. I just hadn't pushed the button, so thanks for the timely reminder.

 

[ronandannette]

I think the real problem is that some people are so self-centered (or possibly just oblivious) that their desires are more important to them than the needs of others. It is a common thread through many posts on these boards whether it is about excessive perfume, peanuts, cutting lines, smoking where prohibited, using aerosol sunscreen, using your scooter or stroller as a battering ram, being loud, allowing your kid to be out of control, etc. The world would be a much better place if people put respect and consideration of others first.

I have never heard of this being an issue - please inform me.

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here and say that maybe some of those people don't realize just how strong the smell is.
If you use something long enough you become acclimated to it. So they spray a couple more sprays because they can't smell the 2 they put on. Not everyone that does something to bother others do it because they are self-centered, inconsiderate jerks looking to inflict pain and suffering on others

I'm also thinking of youngsters, particularly boys, when they first discover deodorant sprays like AXE. I truly doubt they understand how much they should be using or how strong they smell. Fortunately it dissipates fairly quickly but when DS was that age I remember driving a few car-pools where my eyes were watering. I pity the junior high school teachers that bounce between that and their natural adolescent stank.

 

[DisneyOma]

I have never heard of this being an issue - please inform me.

Aerosol sunscreen is hard to control, that's for certain. We used to use it on the kids at school, and it would make the floor dangerously slippery if we used it inside. (Easier to corral the kids and get them covered indoors ) If we used it outside, any plant it came in contact with would die. On a breezy day the cloud of spray would get into people's eyes.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Aerosol sunscreen is hard to control, that's for certain. We used to use it on the kids at school, and it would make the floor dangerously slippery if we used it inside. (Easier to corral the kids and get them covered indoors ) If we used it outside, any plant it came in contact with would die. On a breezy day the cloud of spray would get into people's eyes.

I have yet to kill a single plant and we spray can after can outside

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Again, that’s lying. My kids know my husband doesn’t have any allergies and would be put in an awkward place to lie to grandma if she brought it up ( and she would).

From what I remember of the story many pages back, it might not be a lie.

If it makes you feel better, call it a sensitivity instead of an allergy, which would be the truth.

 

[ronandannette]

I’m not the person you were asking, but I guess IMO, it depends. If this is somebody you know then tell them you’re allergic and explain what happens and make a reasonable request about triggers when you’re around...

...I think this is going to be a tough one to get people to change, because smell is a very personal thing. As mentioned previously, I can smell people’s detergent or hair products from across a room. Who is the judge of too much? It’s likely that lady in the restaurant would have thought you were too sensitive and that she wore an “acceptable” amount of perfume. For me not to feel icky the amount of perfume somebody can wear around me is none. It’s a very difficult line to draw. Given that you cite so few examples of having issues with people that it sounds like most people you encounter wear an acceptable amount of fragrance.

I get the vent. I don’t really understand what you want beyond that (maybe nothing, just to vent). For everybody to be your idea of reasonable is never going to happen. I hate perfume and people’s smells cause me discomfort on the daily, but aside from people very close to me this issue falls firmly in the I cannot control everything around me camp. There’s just not a realistic solution.

Shortly after we moved to our current home in a condo complex, we got a notice from the Board that there had been a complaint about the smell of our laundry products through the dryer vent. Since we only use regular Tide and Bounce, nothing exotic or unusual, and our dryer exhausts directly into our own yard, I declined to modify our routine. I would never glibly cause harm to someone else but I really did not believe this could be a health issue.

 

[piccolopat]

I have never heard of this being an issue - please inform me.

There was a thread last year where the use of aerosol sunscreen was being discussed. Apparently someone was sitting on the beach at Castaway Cay and a nearby family was spraying on their sunscreen and ignoring the fact that it was getting on everyone nearby and their belongings. I've also read about problems with this near the pools on DCL.

 

[Jennasis]

The aerosol sunscreen is something that actually does cause me breathing issues. The propellant I suppose. It's not a problem once it's applied, just while being sprayed.

 

[disykat]

Shortly after we moved to our current home in a condo complex, we got a notice from the Board that there had been a complaint about the smell of our laundry products through the dryer vent. Since we only use regular Tide and Bounce, nothing exotic or unusual, and our dryer exhausts directly into our own yard, I declined to modify our routine. I would never glibly cause harm to someone else but I really did not believe this could be a health issue.

Since regular laundry products are highly scented - especially Tide, I do notice when my immediate neighbors are doing laundry, (I smell it through their septic drainfield!) but it's easily solved by going inside, shutting my windows and turning up my filters. The neighbors before them used to burn outside sometimes and I'd have to leave the house. Again, annoying, but not such an unreasonable accommodation for me as the person it's bothering to make since they were doing it in their own personal space. To me, that sounds like more of a "hey, neighbor I have allergy sensitivities and I wonder if you'd be willing to try this unscented product I'd like to give you" kind of issue. Once you were aware it seems like it'd be easy to try come up with a solution to that wouldn't inconvenience you.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Shortly after we moved to our current home in a condo complex, we got a notice from the Board that there had been a complaint about the smell of our laundry products through the dryer vent. Since we only use regular Tide and Bounce, nothing exotic or unusual, and our dryer exhausts directly into our own yard, I declined to modify our routine. I would never glibly cause harm to someone else but I really did not believe this could be a health issue.

That's funny. I use Tide, Tide w/bleach & Downy. In our previous home & this one, we've had several people stop by to tell us how much they enjoy walking by our house. They say it always smells so nice & clean outside. One of our DS's friends once told his mom he wanted to move in with us, because our house smelled better than theirs.

DH often has people at work tell him how nice & clean he smells & ask him what fragrance, shampoo, etc. he uses. He doesn't wear cologne to work.

They're all smelling a combination of Tide & Downy. I've never once had anyone complain about that smell. You really can't please everyone.

 

[ronandannette]

Since regular laundry products are highly scented - especially Tide, I do notice when my immediate neighbors are doing laundry, (I smell it through their septic drainfield!) but it's easily solved by going inside, shutting my windows and turning up my filters. The neighbors before them used to burn outside sometimes and I'd have to leave the house. Again, annoying, but not such an unreasonable accommodation for me as the person it's bothering to make since they were doing it in their own personal space. To me, that sounds like more of a "hey, neighbor I have allergy sensitivities and I wonder if you'd be willing to try this unscented product I'd like to give you" kind of issue. Once you were aware it seems like it'd be easy to try come up with a solution to that wouldn't inconvenience you.

The Board didn't disclose who had made the complaint and the letter didn't specify there was an allergy issue. The specific wording was "...a community resident complains of being bothered by...". There was certainly no congenial personal appeal like in your example, which I may have considered had it been done that way.