Anyone else have a toddler who's a bit of a maniac?

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

I am writing partially to hear advice / stories from those who have been there, and partially in the hopes that I'm not alone in this!

When I read forums about toddlers visiting Disney, I see so many stories of kids who soaked in the wonder, or adored the holiday offerings, or let everyone see joy through a child's eyes.

Don't get me wrong - I am happy for families who have this experience. But right now it's a good day if my two and a half year old can make it through Target without a meltdown. Or two. He doesn't understand the idea of letting adults set the agenda, he is extremely strong-willed and wants to run after whatever catches his eye in the moment. Restaurants are out of the question because he spends the entire time screaming to get out of his booster. Rides? Even the tiny little quarter slot rides at the mall terrify him. And routine-wise, heaven forbid something as big as the color of fork he eats with at dinner change. (Let me be clear - I adore my little wild child. I'm not saying this to kvetch, but just as a realistic assessment of his current travel abilities. My family keeps pressuring me to go on a multi-generational Disney trip and I keep saying he's nowhere near ready.)

Any other parents have or have experience with a high strung toddler? Did they mellow out as they hit preschool or kindergarten? Or did you wait until they were a solid 9 or 10 years old before attempting travel?

 

[mrsdoubie]

Your son sounds exactly like my son at that age. He’s almost 5 now and it has definitely gotten better. Being in preschool and around other kids definitely helped him We didn’t travel, go out to eat, or go very many places until last year. We rented an Airbnb on Lake Michigan and did a small family vacations and it was great. We also did an over night hotel trip for a water park and that was good too. So with saying that I’d start small with travel/vacations. We’re braving Disney with ours for the 1st time in May. Hopefully it goes well.

I’ll also say that something that helped me with our son was giving him choices and letting him have somewhat of a say in what he wanted to do. You say he doesn’t understand that adults set the agenda but let him help with that.

 

[nancipants]

My son is pretty wild. Thankfully he is behaved in restaurants and at Disney for the most part. I think it helped that we started bringing him when he was only a few weeks old. When he starts getting antsy we give him the phone and don’t feel guilty about it. We have not attempted real travel due to Covid, but I am very anxious for our first plane ride. It will be all iPad, all the time.

 

[unrequited23]

When my oldest was 2, he went through a phase where he pretended to be a dog--walking on all fours, barking, panting with his tongue out--the works. This was not at all amusing in the middle of the grocery store. I recall one time patting his head, telling him he was a very good dog, but needed to pretend to be a boy until we got to the car.

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

Your son sounds exactly like my son at that age. He’s almost 5 now and it has definitely gotten better. Being in preschool and around other kids definitely helped him We didn’t travel, go out to eat, or go very many places until last year. We rented an Airbnb on Lake Michigan and did a small family vacations and it was great. We also did an over night hotel trip for a water park and that was good too. So with saying that I’d start small with travel/vacations. We’re braving Disney with ours for the 1st time in May. Hopefully it goes well.

I’ll also say that something that helped me with our son was giving him choices and letting him have somewhat of a say in what he wanted to do. You say he doesn’t understand that adults set the agenda but let him help with that.

Thank you for sharing - 5 isn't too long to wait, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my son is ready by then!

I think giving choices is a great idea, hopefully my little guy will be able to do that soon and we can talk through things more. Right now he just goes from shiny object to shiny object so he doesn't quite have the forethought to understand making a plan - he's just now starting to get the idea of "looking forward" to something, though, so I think we're getting close.

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

My son is pretty wild. Thankfully he is behaved in restaurants and at Disney for the most part. I think it helped that we started bringing him when he was only a few weeks old. When he starts getting antsy we give him the phone and don’t feel guilty about it. We have not attempted real travel due to Covid, but I am very anxious for our first plane ride. It will be all iPad, all the time.

Good luck! When and if I attempt airline travel with my little guy, I think I'm going to get him one of those Kindles (less expensive) with the handles and let him stay glued to it, for the other passenger's sake!

 

[sponica]

Your son sounds like a mix of my kids.

My first went to Disney at 20 months, but she was super compliant, listened well, didn't really run far. (We never babyproofed the house because she never strayed anywhere). But she absolutely hated every ride ever.

We're going back in April and she'll be 5.5 and is looking forward to rides......her sister will be 20 months and she's an absolute maniac. We bought a leash.

We've been spending weekends doing disney prep....basically getting them out of the house from after breakfast to before dinner so they get used to the long days. (not sure if it's also practice for us at the same time)

I recommend the kids amazon fire tablet, it comes with a nice protector and is pretty much 100% exchangeable in the event of damage.

 

[nancipants]

Another opinion: We got our toddler the Amazon fire tablet for Christmas and ended up returning it. We disliked that we weren't able to control what apps went on the home page. He uses our old phone right now and I only have a few apps on the front page. This year I will get a new iPad and he will get my old one with an Otter Box case. I plan on putting Disney Plus and ABC Mouse on the front page and that's it.

 

[browneyedgirl1683]

My toddler is picky, and delightful, and is great at self-advocacy. Meaning she likes what she likes, often can't be moved off of what she likes with distraction, and will let you know CLEARLY when she needs or wants something. When she first turned 2 she hated rides at our local park (Sesame Place). Now she was more receptive, and was a bit of a daredevil. So kids do grow and change. You never know.

With her personality, we just accepted that some things would be hard, some things would be AMAZING, and some things will just have to be accomodated. It helped for me to think about how messed up travel is for toddlers. My 7 year old was gushing to her about how we are at Disney, this is paradise, and her response to us was nope, lets go home. It takes them away from everything they need, know, love, and they aren't going to think of the big picture. So it helps to find the things that they already love that exist at Disney, and build off of that.

We made sure to do playground or pool time, we made sure to let toddler run around where it was enclosed, or not busy. We found fountains or garden areas, or play areas, and that was what she needed. At the hotel, we did instacart to buy her every day snacks, and packed them. It helped for routine. At the parks, we did genie plus, and focused on rides that had short lines. We knew we weren't going to be able to take her on long waits. We also adjusted our expectations. Yeah we didn't go on every ride, but she got to blow bubbles with me by Cinderella's castle, and she got up close with all the yellow flowers Epcot has. When she's older we will do the full itinerary style trips. Also, things like the boat to Disney Springs, or the Monorail was exciting, and just as much a "ride" to her as anything else. So don't be afraid to make your own attractions out of those things.

Just make sure your family is on the same page as you in regards to honoring your kid's needs.

For the plane, we took her favorite small toys. Magentic blocks were a hit, sticker books were a hit. She had a meltdown when I had to put her back in her carseat from sitting on my lap, but no one glared at us. Oh and a carseat helped her understand what was going on. We read and watched so many "kids learn to fly" type books, but her carseat really set the tone for her, plus she couldn't wiggle out.

 

[piglet1979]

Things I have learned over the years with my two.

• Have snacks with you. We found out our first trip that if DD said she was hungry we needed to get her something quickly to avoid a melt down
• Take breaks. We would go for rope drop then at about 11ish head back to the resort to swim and rest and then go back at dinner time. This helped a lot with melt downs
• Having kids help in the planning as much as they could. This made sure they were each getting to do what they most wanted to do.
• Know where the Baby Care areas are. DD refused to used the bathrooms because of the automatic flushes and the baby care areas are the only ones I found to not have automatic flush.
• Don't have expectations. Go with the flow. If you child needs more then the normal break take it. The more you follow their ques the better the trip will be.

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

Your son sounds like a mix of my kids.

My first went to Disney at 20 months, but she was super compliant, listened well, didn't really run far. (We never babyproofed the house because she never strayed anywhere). But she absolutely hated every ride ever.

We're going back in April and she'll be 5.5 and is looking forward to rides......her sister will be 20 months and she's an absolute maniac. We bought a leash.

We've been spending weekends doing disney prep....basically getting them out of the house from after breakfast to before dinner so they get used to the long days. (not sure if it's also practice for us at the same time)

I recommend the kids amazon fire tablet, it comes with a nice protector and is pretty much 100% exchangeable in the event of damage.

Thanks! I think some manner of tablet and a stroller is definitely going to be my emergency backup when we go (ideally I'd wait until he's five but given my parents age and health we are probably going to push the envelop and go at three). I figure if he's careening around the park trying to knock over vendor stands I can strap him into the stroller and give him a tablet, ha ha!

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

Another opinion: We got our toddler the Amazon fire tablet for Christmas and ended up returning it. We disliked that we weren't able to control what apps went on the home page. He uses our old phone right now and I only have a few apps on the front page. This year I will get a new iPad and he will get my old one with an Otter Box case. I plan on putting Disney Plus and ABC Mouse on the front page and that's it.

That's strange, you can't delete the apps or at least put them in a folder hidden away somewhere?

I looked into the Amazon devices awhile ago and one thing I liked over the iPad was that I think you can download more if you pay a small subscription fee to the Amazon Kids service (and you can subscribe to that for a single month if you choose). As opposed to using the Prime app on an iPad, where you are limited to a smallish number of downloads (and for some of those kids shows each 'episode' is like three minutes long, but they still count as one of your downloads.) If I remember correctly you couldn't do this on an iPad even with the Amazon Kids app - you had to have an internet connection to watch shows - although it's been awhile so I might have that wrong.

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

My toddler is picky, and delightful, and is great at self-advocacy. Meaning she likes what she likes, often can't be moved off of what she likes with distraction, and will let you know CLEARLY when she needs or wants something. When she first turned 2 she hated rides at our local park (Sesame Place). Now she was more receptive, and was a bit of a daredevil. So kids do grow and change. You never know.

With her personality, we just accepted that some things would be hard, some things would be AMAZING, and some things will just have to be accomodated. It helped for me to think about how messed up travel is for toddlers. My 7 year old was gushing to her about how we are at Disney, this is paradise, and her response to us was nope, lets go home. It takes them away from everything they need, know, love, and they aren't going to think of the big picture. So it helps to find the things that they already love that exist at Disney, and build off of that.

We made sure to do playground or pool time, we made sure to let toddler run around where it was enclosed, or not busy. We found fountains or garden areas, or play areas, and that was what she needed. At the hotel, we did instacart to buy her every day snacks, and packed them. It helped for routine. At the parks, we did genie plus, and focused on rides that had short lines. We knew we weren't going to be able to take her on long waits. We also adjusted our expectations. Yeah we didn't go on every ride, but she got to blow bubbles with me by Cinderella's castle, and she got up close with all the yellow flowers Epcot has. When she's older we will do the full itinerary style trips. Also, things like the boat to Disney Springs, or the Monorail was exciting, and just as much a "ride" to her as anything else. So don't be afraid to make your own attractions out of those things.

Just make sure your family is on the same page as you in regards to honoring your kid's needs.

For the plane, we took her favorite small toys. Magentic blocks were a hit, sticker books were a hit. She had a meltdown when I had to put her back in her carseat from sitting on my lap, but no one glared at us. Oh and a carseat helped her understand what was going on. We read and watched so many "kids learn to fly" type books, but her carseat really set the tone for her, plus she couldn't wiggle out.

Thank you for the advice! It will be hard for me to tell my family we might not all travel as a group the whole time (we've always done that in the past), but I totally agree - a set in stone itinerary is not in the cards for him at this age! I'm glad your daughter was able to enjoy the parks with a more relaxed toddler-centered schedule, it gives me hope!

 

[Aimeedyan]

Ours is a pretty typical two year old, but we are regular (semi-local) visitors and don't feel the pressure to accomplish a lot. I know if I were dropping $$$ on a big vacation, my expectations for his behavior and stamina would probably be different.

We don't use a tablet or phone for him but if we attempt a table service meal (rarely right now) I have my bag of activities and snacks with us. I put high value, new to him items in the bag so his interest is peaked. We often split up and one of us lets him walk around outside until the meal arrives, too, and always make sure he's hungry but not hangry.

We are also intentional about giving him opportunities to wander. He doesn't last long in the stroller, and really shouldn't be expected to anyways, so I look for opportunities to say "yes." Play areas, wandering less populated areas, letting him walk next to the stroller, only jumping in short lines, etc help him burn energy and explore so when it's time to be strapped in for safety, we have a higher success. Easier said than done but we try to pick lower crowd days so he DOES have the opportunity to walk without being run over or running someone else over.

We are lucky in that he's been going to the parks since he was 3 weeks old and stays in hotels regularly. He's a rockstar sleeper regardless of where we are and goes with the flow. The only ride he's been scared of is Figment, and he's not a fan of fireworks. He does NOT sleep in the stroller (fomo) so we typically break midday for a nap/pool.

Keep your expectations low, bring lots of new activities, and all.the.snacks., and I think you'll have a great trip! Exploring the parks with him has been delightful the last two years and each visit brings me SO much joy, even if he has a meltdown once or twice. There is nothing like seeing his face light up every single time we go see Mickey. That toddler enthusiasm for the joys of the world, and fascination with the most unexpected things (mine just wants to jump in the puddles in front of the castle!), is a fleeting season of life.

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

Things I have learned over the years with my two.

• Have snacks with you. We found out our first trip that if DD said she was hungry we needed to get her something quickly to avoid a melt down
• Take breaks. We would go for rope drop then at about 11ish head back to the resort to swim and rest and then go back at dinner time. This helped a lot with melt downs
• Having kids help in the planning as much as they could. This made sure they were each getting to do what they most wanted to do.
• Know where the Baby Care areas are. DD refused to used the bathrooms because of the automatic flushes and the baby care areas are the only ones I found to not have automatic flush.
• Don't have expectations. Go with the flow. If you child needs more then the normal break take it. The more you follow their ques the better the trip will be.

Another person upthread mentioned including kids in the planning as well. I was thinking this would be tricky, language-wise, for a toddler to understand, but it just occurred to me that if we watched videos of the rides on YouTube he'll have a better idea of what I'm talking about! Thanks!

 

[UnderneathAMagicMoon]

Ours is a pretty typical two year old, but we are regular (semi-local) visitors and don't feel the pressure to accomplish a lot. I know if I were dropping $$$ on a big vacation, my expectations for his behavior and stamina would probably be different.

We don't use a tablet or phone for him but if we attempt a table service meal (rarely right now) I have my bag of activities and snacks with us. I put high value, new to him items in the bag so his interest is peaked. We often split up and one of us lets him walk around outside until the meal arrives, too, and always make sure he's hungry but not hangry.

We are also intentional about giving him opportunities to wander. He doesn't last long in the stroller, and really shouldn't be expected to anyways, so I look for opportunities to say "yes." Play areas, wandering less populated areas, letting him walk next to the stroller, only jumping in short lines, etc help him burn energy and explore so when it's time to be strapped in for safety, we have a higher success. Easier said than done but we try to pick lower crowd days so he DOES have the opportunity to walk without being run over or running someone else over.

We are lucky in that he's been going to the parks since he was 3 weeks old and stays in hotels regularly. He's a rockstar sleeper regardless of where we are and goes with the flow. The only ride he's been scared of is Figment, and he's not a fan of fireworks. He does NOT sleep in the stroller (fomo) so we typically break midday for a nap/pool.

Keep your expectations low, bring lots of new activities, and all.the.snacks., and I think you'll have a great trip! Exploring the parks with him has been delightful the last two years and each visit brings me SO much joy, even if he has a meltdown once or twice. There is nothing like seeing his face light up every single time we go see Mickey. That toddler enthusiasm for the joys of the world, and fascination with the most unexpected things (mine just wants to jump in the puddles in front of the castle!), is a fleeting season of life.

Thank you! I think play areas will be key! I'm thinking the Nemo aquarium, the play area after the figment ride, the splash pads in MK if those are reopened post Covid... not sure about HS but hopefully there is something!

 

[Aimeedyan]

Thank you! I think play areas will be key! I'm thinking the Nemo aquarium, the play area after the figment ride, the splash pads in MK if those are reopened post Covid... not sure about HS but hopefully there is something!

Epcot currently has two actual playgrounds - one by Creations and the other near Starbucks. I think the one by Starbucks is here for F&G but I'm hopeful it stays around awhile because it's fantastic. The fountains near Figment are one of his favorite spaces and we are often the only people there! He loves the jumping water. The area at the end of Figment is also a favorite (fun interactive games - he just likes to touch things, really).

MK has Tom Sawyer Island, playground near Splash Mountain, play area inside Dumbo (though it's literally closed every single time we visit!), splash pad outside Dumbo (it has reopened). We also love the hub grass.

The courtyard outside Playhouse Disney is usually not busy so he runs around in there a lot. He also loves to walk up and down the stairs outside of the Frozen show! I wish HS had an actual play space.

AK is by far our favorite with him and we often don't ride a single thing. Trails + animal habitats + Digsite can fill hours for us.

 

[nancipants]

That's strange, you can't delete the apps or at least put them in a folder hidden away somewhere?

I looked into the Amazon devices awhile ago and one thing I liked over the iPad was that I think you can download more if you pay a small subscription fee to the Amazon Kids service (and you can subscribe to that for a single month if you choose). As opposed to using the Prime app on an iPad, where you are limited to a smallish number of downloads (and for some of those kids shows each 'episode' is like three minutes long, but they still count as one of your downloads.) If I remember correctly you couldn't do this on an iPad even with the Amazon Kids app - you had to have an internet connection to watch shows - although it's been awhile so I might have that wrong.

The Fire tablet comes with a one-year subscription to Amazon Kids, which SEEMS great, but every app is downloaded onto the device and you cannot remove them from the home page. At least, we couldn't find a way to do it even after Googling. I really only want two apps accessible right now--Disney Plus and ABC Mouse.

 

[DeeBee3]

Ok, I'm at 4 1/2 with the youngest and she's still like that. She doesn't throw herself on the floor in Target, but she mainly does all that at home. I guess it's a good thing (or so "they" tell me.) She is in preschool and she's an angel with other people. In fact, I was shocked when we went for a routine physical and she literally said and did nothing. It was the quietest she has ever been. I was shocked!

I think it's just a lack of control over their surroundings. She likes to boss everyone around so at home she does it to the older sister and us. We don't often listen, but sometimes we do if it's actually important and not just about a snack.

At Disney when she was slightly younger she was completely fine. Go figure. Had 1 meltdown at the pool and I took her back to the room.

Like others have said, have him pick a ride, pick a snack sort of thing and then most of the time I would imagine he will just be soaking in the environment.

 

[piglet1979]

Another person upthread mentioned including kids in the planning as well. I was thinking this would be tricky, language-wise, for a toddler to understand, but it just occurred to me that if we watched videos of the rides on YouTube he'll have a better idea of what I'm talking about! Thanks!

This is what we did. We also had a count down calendar as well where they colored Disney pictures and I glued them on a calendar I made with poster board. Mine were a bit older at for and 5 when we were planning so maybe a bit easier.

Also, while you are there make sure you have your number on your child just in case you get separated. Thankfully this did not happen with my kids but I did come across a kid once that got separated from their family. I was able to get a cast member to help and they took over from there. Having a phone number would make it easier for a cast member to find you.