Calena's quest for healthy living - advice welcome!

[rcyannacci]

Hey! I used to live in east TN- where is the wedding? If you're in the eastern part of the state, Myrtle Beach is about 6 hours. VA beach is about 8 hours, but it's further north so that might save you some time on the way home. Myrtle is the better beach, IMO.

HOpe you're having a good day.

 

[calena]

The wedding is in Knoxville. That is where my parents live and where I went to school (UT). The reason I was thinking VA beach is it north and we will be driving back to Canada. We are about 17 hours driving time from Knoxville, so... it makes for a long haul, but with the five of us it makes sense to drive and do a bit of a trip too.
Yesterday was a busy day. I had a meeting for the swim club at night. Great ideas, now I have to work on making them a reality! Also my sis-in-law dropped off her kids because they had a dinner so I didn't get everyone out of our house till after nine and then the kids to bed. DH had a road trip for work today so he was in bed early - trying to sleep while five kids played Monopoly - so I didn't get my wog in. I could have done T-Tapp, but didn't.
Eating was good, but I still am thinking about food a lot! I am almost done with the two weeks of Phase 1 so that is good. I am looking forward to FRUIT!!!!! I would also love pizza but that will have to wait. I really think this sugar thing makes sense.

 

[calena]

I did two workouts yesterday, so that was good. I swam with the kids - 40 minutes and then went for a wog at night... the bugs chased me home. You would think this heat would kill them off... but I think I waited to go too late for my wog.
Almost done with my 2 weeks on Phase 1. I was thinking of staying on for another week, but we will see. Now I am sort of "into" it. My only hard time is snack time which I have been eating cheese strings and almonds (counted out). I would prefer to eat fruit at snacks... we will see. Maybe I will do a modified Phase 2 or ease in very slowly.
Will weigh tommorrow to see what my official 2 week Phase I loss is.
Christin - why do you like Myrtle Beach better than VA beach?

 

[TigerCheer2009]

Hey! Good job and good luck at weigh in!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Weight~*~Losin'~*~*~Pixie~*~*~Dust!

 

[goldcupmom]

My WI is tomorrow, too! Hopefully we will both get good results.

Congrats on being so good on SB.

Your exercise is great!

Keep it up and hang in there. You CAN do this!

 

[calena]

The results are in! 7 lbs lost in 2 weeks with South Beach Phase 1. I had been hoping for the elusive 8-15 the book promises but 7 is VERY GOOD! I' ve also been able to keep exercising so I know my body is changing. My swimming and jogging/walking are making a difference too.
Phase 2 should begin now but I think I will ease in slowly. I am looking forward to fruit. I am still struggling with how I will make this work for "life" though. It seems sugar is hidden in so many things.. like ketchup and bbq sauce and salad dressings. I am reading labels like a fiend. Saw a book on Amazon which is more of a South Beach food list so have ordered that. This is for life, so I have to look at what I am putting into my body. It is so strange when I reflect on how I was eating and how I would eat crackers or buns without thinking about it and I know now my body has a hard time with that. I think this really works for me better than counting calories. I need to look at what KIND of calories I am putting into my body. A lunch at the chip truck is no good for me even if I have a low cal supper because it sends my blood work out of whack! All this talk of food is making me hungry!
Still learning! Yesterday I went for my wog and then it started to thunder, and more thunder and the sky was black quickly, so I turned around and went home! I only managed 20 minutes but it was more jogging than not, so that was good. I still get so hot and sweaty, which I don't know if that is a reflection of my state of fitness (poor) or the fact that I am working the body!

 

[rcyannacci]

Knoxville! I grew up in Johnson City, and almost went to UT, but then decided on Wake Forest. I'd love to go back to UT to teach, if I had the opportunity...it's such a pretty area and we have some friends there.

Just in terms of a vacation beach, I like Myrtle better because as touristy as it is, the beach is in great shape and it doesn't have the commercial boardwalk like VA Beach. I lived in VA for a year right out of college, and it just seemed to busy to me with the boardwalk and all the hotels scrunched together. As opposed to Myrtle which has miles and miles of beach stretched out, VA beach (the main part) is something like 2 miles. But, some people really like the boardwalk for walking, shopping, etc. When I'm at the beach, I'm more interested in swimming, sand, shells, etc.

OK- so that was kind of rambling, but hopefully coherent enough

Congrats on the 7 lbs. and on being done with phase 1 I think at the pace I'm going I'll be close to that. I agree- adding fruit again will be my first priority, and I think it's a good choice in terms of nutrition. Plus it will give you that added boost of energy from the natural sugar.

Have a good day!

 

[calena]

I have actually never been to Virginia Beach that I can remember, but did many trips to Myrtle Beach when I was at UT - Memories! My dad is from the Richmond Area and my aunt and cousin live there, so I was thinking of visiting them as a stop too and then swinging over to VA beach. Myrtle Beach is farther, but looks good in terms of going there first, then up to TN then to Canada. Anyway, my preference would be for a nice beach for swimming, walking etc.... not into the boardwalk or shopping aspect. Any other suggestions of a beautiful beach in that corridor from VA to South Carolina are welcome!!!!

 

[pearlieq]

Congrats on 7lbs down!!! That's amazing!

All of your hard work really paid off! Keep it up!

 

[calena]

Well, I made a Phase 3 recipie from the South Beach cookbook for Father's Day gathering with in-laws. People were also commenting because I would not eat potatoes - "Are you on Atkins?" "No, I am just eleminating some things from my diet and potatoes is one of them." I honestly hate doing this and having to say this because it implies I am FAT and I have to eliminate things from my diet to get skinny/healthy. I am SO WEIRD. I don't know why I do this.... I always feel if I don't let anyone know I have a problem then I don't have that problem. So... I won't talk about my weight, or my diet/eating plan or things I don't like about my body. I remember when I was in college and "us girls" were talking and everyone was talking about wanting nicer this or that on their bodies and I would never say anything. One girl told me I was really lucky because I was happy with my body... What a joke. I was just too proud to let others know what I really thought of my body. That was about 20 years ago now and I still want to live in this "perfect world" where I am perfect and nothing bad touches me. It is unrealistic and it makes me stressed trying to keep up. Plus, who knows what kind of wacked up messages I am sending to me kids without even knowing it? So basically, under this superiority attitude I hide some LOW self esteem. I cringe when I think of what others think of me and constantly try to live so others will think well of me.... one of those things being I don't need to diet that I am happy, attractive and comfortable with myself. Well, who am I kidding?
I need a major attitude adjustment in my life. It is just hard. My brother, DB, said his therapist told him he has to "detach" from his work problems. Well... I wish I could detach from my weird ideas. As a Christian this is also an issue. I live life paralyzed by fear, and that is not right. "FOR GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER AND LOVE AND DISCIPLINE." 2 Tim 1:17. This is my verse for the week. SO many things in life I have failed to do because I have been afraid to try, to make myself vulnerable, to open up to others, afraid of what others think of me. I read a great book by Ann Kiemel Anderson - Seduced by Success. She wrote about how when she began writing Christian books and running marathons people were applauding her and encouraging her and that became addictive. She was addicted to people pleasing and then eventually to drugs. It ruined her marriage and her life. One of the anectdotes in the book talks about how a woman criticized her at a group meeting and she was just devastated. Then the leader asked her if she even liked that woman and why was her opinion so important to her. Anne realized it wasn't important, and a bit of healing occurred.
I think this is such a process. Peeling away tiny layers like an onion. Becoming strong in my identity as a person, so I am not blown away if someone realizes I need to diet or if someone says something mean to me or DH or my kids.
Anyway, yesterday was not a happy day. And on Father's Day on top of it all. I honestly feel there is so much expectation around holidays and "special days" that we just get too worked up and that leads to a bad day. The kids all made him nice gifts and I bought him four Irish Coffee mugs which he liked, but the day went downhill later on. We went to the in-laws and then were invited to some other people's house for supper/drop-in. Well, DH did NOT want to go, but the kids did and I did and I dragged him. He was pleasant when he was there, but I knew he wanted to be home. As DH says "Don't you ever just want to get away from people?" YES!!!!!! He has had a lot of stress at work and that takes a toll, but it also gets old and we have to have some enjoyment out of life too, which includes some socializing.
So... did some scrapbooking last night as I stayed up and pondered the day and watched an old movie. I could have done my exercise, but I was mad at myself and the world. At least I did not go and eat the kitchen bare.
So, another week on South Beach begins. I am phasing in fruit slowly and also had some popcorn on the weekend. Feel good as I avoid the sugar and the bread/crackers.

 

[rcyannacci]

calena- I have a really hard time discussing my weight too, and it's really tough when people ask you about what you're eating or not eating. This is exactly what I'm dreading at my in-laws because they comment on EVERYTHING! BTW- it sounds like you handled the moment perfectly! Congratulations.

"FOR GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER AND LOVE AND DISCIPLINE." 2 Tim 1:17.

This is a great verse- I guess it means that we are the only ones who give power to fear. I think a lot of us live in fear about what others think of us. I know I fight this everyday.

Anyway, you're fabulous! You've already accomplished so much...take pleasure in that.

On a lighter note , have you ever been to the Outer Banks beaches in NC? They're about an hour south of Norfolk/VA Beach (which is only about 2 hours from Richmond, I think). Some beautiful beaches there, and you wouldn't have to drive so far south.

 

[Jane E.]

Calena, congrats on doing so well on the South Beach Diet! I read that your a t-tapper. I used to do T-tapp. In addition to her instructional & beginner/rehab videos I had her Hit the Floor workout. My abs always burned after doing that one.

You've read Ann Kiemel Anderson? I started reading her books when I was in high school & she was still Ann Kiemel. Loved reading about her making chocolate chip cookies & singing to strangers. Right after I was married in the late seventies, she came to a local retreat center. Dh & I went to see her. I loved hearing her speak. She had a big ministry for singles at that time. Then, she got into marathon running, met Will, got married, & wrote the books about her struggles with adoption. Thru the years, I read many of her books. However, last year I ordered one of her books off the internet. I was so upset when I read about her separation from her husband & then his death. In fact I think I threw the book out. How is she doing now?

 

[calena]

Jane - Your comments on Ann Kiemel Anderson are interesting. The first book I read was given to me by my sister "I gave God time". So she was this ideal person. Well... when you read Seduced by Success you find out not only did she not "give God time" but she had several sexual affairs with men before she met Will. Hardly a blushing bride. This also lead to her problems with addiction and in marriage. Anyway, I actually liked her better in Seduced by Success because I felt I could relate to her more. She was no longer this woman with an incredible almost unreachable standard - running marathons, singing praises and baking cookies. She is a broken wounded person almost paralyzed by trying to be a people pleaser all the time. Yes, she did separate from her husband, but they reconcilled, had a recommitment ceremony and then he was diagnosed with cancer and eventually died. I don't know what this says about her earlier books, but I like what I read in the last books. I think she still speaks, but have not been able to find anything recent she has written.
An author I have a harder time dealing with/understanding is Peter and Barbara Jenkins of "Walk Across America" fame. When I was a teen I read the books and how God called them together. Now they are divorced and both remarried (his third marriage). The thing that is so shocking is when you read the books and they talk about this deep sense of commitment that God called them to be together and about the weekly dates they would take as a married couple etc.... so what happened? I know I don't need to know the personal details of everyone's life, but when you have made a living out of telling your life stories - autobiographies - and you present yourself in a certain way, it is hard for the reader (who feels they "know" the author) to understand. I know marriages break up, but the way they portrayed their marriage was so different that it leaves many questions unanswered.
Anyway - do you still do T-Tapp? I try to do it once or twice a week, but with the nice weather have been spending more time at the pool and doing my walk/jogs. I need to commit to doing it at least once a week... I just feel better all over when I do the workout.

Back to weight loss. Had a wrap last night (whole wheat) at a sub place and I am retaining water like crazy this morning. I think my body must have gone into shock! Or maybe the meat was too salty. It did taste salty. Anyway - I've had four glasses of water so far (9:40) trying to just flush the system out. Learned a lesson. I should have just chosen a salad South Beach style, but thought a wrap was possible! I think I needed to ease into Phase 2 more slowly. I keep reminding myself these changes will not happen overnight, and I need to plan healthy meals so I don't have these problems. I also can accentuate the positive - I did not have cookies, pop or a high fat wrap or a sub with a lot more carbs than I want - so it could have been worse!
Yesterday went for a 45 minute walk during my lunch break. It was a gorgeous day. Today I need to wog again! DS, 5, has his class trip today (Kindergarten) so I am meeting him there are lunch and will spend the rest of the afternoon with him.

 

[MayButterfly]

I just wanted to say hi.. Congrats on the weight loss. I've been thinking I need to do SB b/c I am a carb freak and I know it's not loving me the same way!! lol.. I saw Knoxville in your post. I live there! I dont see it much in these pots so I wanted to say hi...

I grew in Kingsport (that's to that girl who grew up in Johnson City)...

I wish nothing but motivation for you!

 

[Jane E.]

Calena, now you're really killing me! I loved Peter Jenkins book. In fact, I read his walk across America book when I was about 22. Then I reread it with my older son when he was 13. His book was riveting. I couldn't put it down. I remember being heartbroken when his dog died. Now, I hear it wasn't 'happily ever after'. He & his wife seemed to have such a partnership. How did you find out that they divorced?

Ann Kiemel upsets me because I started reading her books as a teenager & feel like I've known her for 30 years. After I had kids I no longer saw her stuff at the bookstore. Then over a year ago, at age 45, I bought one of her books over the internet. It was like a complete turn around from how I had always viewed her. I also felt sorry for her husband - that he had all the marriage problems and then got cancer. What upset me the most was that she took the kids with her, out of state, when she separated. I couldn't understand why she didn't stay close to where he was thru that difficult time. (If I'm remembering the book correctly.) However, she was very brave to write the book. She probably couldn't have been that honest 25 years ago. Things sure do change over the years!!!

You sound like you're doing great on the diet. Those darn wraps will getcha every time! Congrats for sticking with the program.

 

[calena]

I feel so much better today - less fluid retention! I drank about 12 glasses of water yesterday and I did T-Tapp (45 min) last night and that always makes me feel good as if I get my system working. If Teresa says the system is working it must be working. Today is a beautiful day here. I WILL go for my jog this afternoon!
So, I learned my lesson with the refined carbs for now... and must watch it! No wraps for awhile!
I actually stepped on the scale and I am holding at 11 lbs lost, so maybe I need to re-look at what I am eating if I want to keep losing with SB or maybe my body is still slowly adjusting. I will not weigh officially till Thursday (my week) but I just wanted to see if the bloaty feeling was registering on the scales!
Poor DH is very stressed with his work right now. One of his top guys just got a better offer somewhere else, so that is tough. Also some problems with some of his contracts (He is a landscape contractor). I was trying to emphasize to him what we have to be thankful for, when he was so down yesterday, but basically he felt I was not being supportive. It is tough. He was also upset when he heard one of our friends was taken to hospital with congestive heart failure on Sun night, but I told DH he can't look at it as if "everything" is going wrong. Our friend has had weight and bp issues for years and a stressful job... so.... stress on the system. Another reason to stick with WISH! I am also cooking more healthfully for the family, so we should all see benefits. DS, 8, loves my fudgesickles!

Christin -- I sent off for some info on the Outer Banks. It seems like a good option. I had looked into Myrtle Beach and hotels are MUCH cheaper there than VA beach.

Jane -- I'm not sure what hapenned with Peter and Barbara, but it sound like it was pretty acrimonious for awhile. I just read a book she wrote "Women I have known" (or something like that) and it is written when she is single, as a single mom, and it is quite sad really. I always "liked" her better than Peter, and maybe they were not really suited to be together. She had so many doubts in the beginning.

May -- My parents live in Knoxville and I went to UT, so that is my Knoxville connection. I live in Canada now, but usually go down a couple of times a year. My mom is originally from Rogersville, so we know Kingsport well. When I was a kid we would drive from Rogersville to Kingsport and I always got a kick out of the big Indian... wonder if he is still there.

 

[rcyannacci]

Oooo, I had a crush once on a boy from Rogersville...we met at camp and he sent me a letter, which my mother then said was inappropriate...so that was the end of that

Congrats on the 11 lbs. You've been working hard and you deserve it. Sounds like you're transitioning into Phase 2 beautifully.

Thanks again for you comments on my journal. Have a good Wednesday!

 

[calena]

Official check this morning on the scale. Down one more pound. Total of 12 since starting wish and 8 since South Beach.
Took DS 5 to McDs yesterday and had a chicken ceaser salad with grilled chicken. What do they put on the grilled chicken?????????? It tasted weird. Anyway, I ate some of the chicken, and all the salad. DS had a grilled cheese, fries and most of my chicken and some salad. "McDonalds has good food Mommy." I was VERY Proud of myself that I ate NOT ONE FRY FROM DS's bag I did NOT buy an ice cream Last night I made fish for the kids and salad and veggies. DH was out of town on business. I can do this. Bought some gorgeous berries at the store. Strawberry picking time should be here soon. Can't wait. GOOD CARBS are good for me!
Went for a swim with DS5 when we got home and did water jogging. He thought it was really funny. When the big kids got home we all went for a swim so I had 50 minutes of water exercise which I just love.
Tommorrow I go with DD,10, on her class trip to a water park in Quebec... Mont Cascade. It looks great. Like Typhoon Lagoon? It is a long drive so it will be a long day but should be fun. I am a bit intimidated about baring my chubby body in front of the other moms, but will wear my cute tankini with swim skirt which accentuates my good points and hides the bad ones. What is always good about those water parks is you do see people of ALL shapes and sizes.! I will also remind myself that I am working on my body/weight. My legs are much fitter thanks to my jogging and I am thinner thanks to WISH! I am on my way!

 

[MayButterfly]

I think he's still there.. We used to go to that place and get ice cream.. I forgot all about him until you mentioned it.. If i get a chance this weekend I'll have to drive down there and look for the indian (I'm going "home" this weekend)..


the whole bathing suit thing.. I understand that. I'm on the look out for a good one!

 

[jay-nee]

I just read through your journal. You are doing so well. Have a blast at the waterpark tomorrow! Don't worry about how you look, honestly, even smaller folks have issues in their eyes. I work with this girl, she's a peanut and she thinks she's huge. crazy world we live in...

You can do this. Remember this is a journey not a destination, enjoy the journey! It's much more fun that way... Can't wait to hear about the waterpark! I wish we were at BB or TL! Aw shucks, too far away! We're trying to plan for sept, but not sure yet... it's been a crazy year so plans are changing constantly.

BTW, I loved those Walk Across... books. I didn't know they had divorced. Sad. Believe me, I never, ever thought it would happen to me and here I am... it's been so scary... like having the rug yanked out from under you and there's nothing under that for a while... now I know it's real and I'm ok with it. I was fully committed and would have stayed forever, but he wanted "freedom" (age 45 does that sometimes), so he has it now. Funny thing is...I think the kids and I were the ones who truly go the freedom. I can see that now, but it's not what I wanted. I really believed in my marriage vows and tried and tried, but it was a losing battle. Like I said, it's going to be better in the long run for me, I just hope the kids can say the same even when they are older... I think this "limbo" period is the worst part though... just waiting for things to be finalized...

Keep up what you are doing, the soul searching is a hard road, but a good one, don't avoid it, embrace it... I'm trying to... I feel better when I let it happen and don't fight it.

Thanks for visiting my journal... so, when did you turn 40? I'll be 40 in 12 days... it's gotta be better than 39 has been!