Hey, Leslie. Glad you found us.
I have a friend who like you, had a family history, and recently went through this whole rollercoaster thing being told initially she had DCIS, then finding out after the surgery it was invasive, then having to have a couple more surgeries in order to get clean margins, then found out some nodes were positive so she'd need chemo, etc. It seemed like every week it was more bad news. So in a way, even though it's frightening and overwhelming, it probably is good to at least go over the possibilities at the outset, and then if it doesn't happen, great. Your surgeon's probably seen it happen enough that she'd rather take that route.
I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma, two nodes positive, triple negative, and had a lumpectomy with chemo and radiation. I also had BRAC and the new BART testing done with the idea I'd have my ovaries out if positive, but testing was all negative. Diagnosis was 8 years ago and knock on wood I am doing well. My twins were 5yo and had just started Kindergarten when I was diagnosed, they are now 14 and I am grateful for every moment I've had with them. Physically and emotionally it was a rough road, but like everyone else does, you just get through it somehow.
I know you said you are worried about your diagnosis with starting a new job and all. That does seem tricky. But you will somehow get through it. Over the years here we've had some amazing stories and women who had some unthinkable stuff to deal with around the time of their diagnoses, just for your inspiration. One of our current posters, Smiley, lost her 28 yr old son in a horrible accident right around the time of her diagnosis. She's had a lot of ups and downs but she's hanging in there. I also remember a poster a few years back who found out she was pregnant right at the time of her diagnosis and had to consider whether to terminate the pregnancy or not given the concerns for birth defects with chemotherapy. She chose to keep the pregnancy and the baby was ok. My own inspiration during my treatment was a woman I met through a friend who was quite young at diagnosis and had a huge tumor but one of the greatest attitudes I'd ever seen so she held me up a lot when I needed support. I also went to a support center and met some amazing people there, too. Of course the ladies here I had the great fortune to meet after treatment had ended (planning that great post-treatment trip!) and they've been incredibly supportive as well. (Some may have other types of cancer or be the support people for loved ones with cancer, but we've all been touched by it in some way.) I think that's one of the nice things (if there can be any) of cancer is it changes you and you meet so many great people you wouldn't have otherwise met, etc. So I hope we can be there for you as well during whatever hurdles your facing.
I think radiation centers have work friendly hours these days so maybe you could go either before work, after work, or on your lunch break, say. Go somewhere near your work.
It will be hard for your mother to hear, but she'll understand, and the time of year probably won't matter much. She will just be concerned with you and your doing what you need to do. It might be scarier for your DD, but you'll weather it together. I think you are right to say it's survivable and the chances are very good that you'll be ok, which of course will be her biggest concern. I am very close to my kids I'm sure in part because of my cancer diagnosis. I was very concerned, even at their young ages then, how it would affect them and you know what, I think it just helped make them more compassionate people. Once your DD starts talking about it a bit, she'll discover that many people she knows have had cancer that she didn't even realize, and many kids she goes to school with have had parents fight a cancer battle as well. It's just that once it goes away, it's not talked about all that much. But once you start talking about it, you hear everyone else's stories, too. I was actually floored at some of the people I'd known for a long time that I didn't realize had had cancer. Hearing their stories and seeing them on the other side I always found helpful.