Do housewives ever retire?

[ronandannette]

We went on a cruise once and went to the main dining room for dinner. Nothing sounded good to him so all he ate was the bread and butter. It was all food court after that.

If a plain chicken breast, piece of broiled salmon or striploin steak, along with potatoes and a side vegetable are beyond his tolerance, (every cruise line I've ever been on offers these standard choices every night), I'm not sure exactly what you are cooking to suit his tastes.

I feel like I’m crazy. His whole family definitely is so I guess it’s a given that it’s rubbed off on me after all these years.

I ask this kindly; what exactly are you afraid of in trying to change the dynamic with your DH? Afraid he'll physically attack you or abandoned you? Afraid it will "make him sad" or upset him? Afraid he'll just ignore you and confirm he really doesn't care? Afraid what others will think? Seriously - try to get to the root of why you think what you have now is better than risking trying to make a change.

I'm a woman. We aren't mind readers, if you want something to change you need to say something.

You can't complain about someone never fixing something that they didn't even know was a problem.

Yes, just so. And these comments from the men implying it's impossible to have a conversation with a wife about behavioral changes that would make meaningful improvements in the relationship and your quality of life are pretty ironic in a thread where EVERYBODY is encouraging the OP to talk to her husband about changing their dynamic. It's ridiculous, really. All you "happy wife, happy life" guys who refuse to deal with issues are the author of your own misery as much as the OP.

 

[AppleDumpling]

Catching up on this thread...OP, I am sorry you’re in this situation, but as everyone has told you, if anything is to change, you must be the one to speak up and insist upon it. You have catered to your husband for all these years, why wouldn’t he expect it to continue forever? You don’t have to change everything overnight, but start with small gradual changes.

Quite frankly, he seems to treat you like his cook and housekeeper, not his wife. Does he ever do anything for you? Something he otherwise wouldn’t do himself, but does solely to please you or give you joy? Sounds like you are trapped in an unfulfilling marriage and have very low self-esteem. Get some counseling if you can (perhaps through your church if you have one). Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Talk to your children and tell them that you love their kids, but the free babysitting is over. Find your inner strength to take control of your life, and stop letting everyone use you. You deserve so much better.