Do You Dwell on the Past?

[Kitty 34]

I love remembering things thru pictures, videos and just sitting around reminiscing with friends and family but dwelling.....no.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I wish I didn't, but I do. It's one of the symptoms of my Depression and anxiety disorder, turning past events over and over in my mind. It's frustrating and maddening. The only anger I feel is directed towards myself.

 

[Mirielle]

I do, but it's the wonderful things that transpired I think of. Makes me feel wonderful to travel down memory lane.

 

[low-key]

Im great at moving on, but even if we do we all meet are match in something it just so hard to move on from

 

[ronandannette]

I love remembering things thru pictures, videos and just sitting around reminiscing with friends and family but dwelling.....no.

Same. I tend to look on the past as the "good old days". There are a number of very painful memories though, that lend themselves to could'a/should'a/would'a but I forcefully keep myself from wallowing in them. DH and I have adopted the motto "Don't look back; we're not going that way".

 

[L&Lfan]

Not in terms of my personal past successes and failures , but I am very nostalgic regarding music, TV, movies and just reveling in the way things used to be, if that makes sense.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Not in terms of my personal past successes and failures , but I am very nostalgic regarding music, TV, movies and just reveling in the way things used to be, if that makes sense.

I hear you there! So many important people from my "past" are gone now, so that is all I have is my memories of them, and the way things "used to be". The weird thing is my grandfather has been gone for over 13 years and I had a dream about him last night.

 

[MrsDuck]

I try not to but it happens.

 

[BrianL]

I don't "dwell" on it in the sense that I have regrets or pine for the good ol' days, but I do experience heavy bouts of nostalgia and do love the music and entertainment and such from my past, though I like new stuff too (well not music - they haven't made good music since the 80's really).

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Most of my life, no.

Recently, there have been some things that I've bee working out with DH, and things from our 29 year history has been brought up a lot. I'm usually one to let things go and move on, but analyzing the past has been a necessary part of our journey lately.

 

[Micca]

I don't dwell on the past because I don't want to miss out when something better comes along.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Grudges can be different than dwelling on the past and some people's experiences seem to fall more on the grudge scale.

The past isn't all doom and gloom for people and I would hope it's not that way for anyone 100% of the time. Do I look back on past decisions and wish I had done something differently? Of course but I don't spend time after time after time looking into it and bringing myself down. On the other hand I love getting FB memories where I can look back on things. Sometimes it's an 'oy what was I thinking back in 2006 and 2007" and other times it's like "aww I loved that let's do that again"

I do see though how things that went down with my mom and my sister and how my one aunt has impacted my family especially now with my grandmother no longer here (which is causing family drama of course on how to divide the assets) how they tend to dwell on the past in quite a negative way. I try to be there for my mom while also skirting the conversation to something else after a brief vent because her dwelling on the past in that respects is quite negative overall.

 

[wenrob]

Just wanted to clarify what I said earlier...
I know some people who tend to dwell on stuff that happened 40+ years ago. As in, they bring it up a LOT. It's usually something that they're angry about, feel they've been wronged, and the person who they feel wronged them has been dead and gone a really long time. And it's over stuff that doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm not talking horrible stuff here. Just petty stuff.

The horrible stuff? Go get help from a therapist and mentally process it and emotionally deal with it and then use it towards something good in your life.

But the petty stuff? Get over it. Don't dwell on it. Otherwise, it will eat into your soul and turn you into a mean, grumpy, cranky old fart.

So. Much. This.

My grandmother did this. My dad did this. And now my sister does this. What’s worse is they sit around, get all in their own head and make it bigger and way worse than it ever was as the years go by. It’s so unhealthy and so toxic and hurts no one but the person who’s hanging onto these petty things for decades. I always wonder what the heck they want from the people who “wronged” them 10, 15, 20 years ago? Especially since they rarely ever tell those people at the time and instead just complain to other people.

As for me, at times I tend to dwell on things I wish I could have done differently. I just try remind myself that what’s done is done and when you look at the bigger picture that stuff doesn’t matter much anymore. The older I get the less I want to live in the past.

 

[indimom]

No. I fully and intentionally let things go. I had a pretty terrible event when I was young and when I forgave and let it go, I felt peace like I didn't know was possible. I've never forgotten that feeling. So if something bothers me I deal with it my head, then accept it, forgive myself or others, then move on. Its so much more peaceful.

 

[disneyfanlincoln]

I dwell, i wish I didn’t. I wish I couldn’t remember things but I’m one of those people that can recall conversations/times/events from years ago without trying. Both the good and the bad, it’s just how I’m made.

 

[lovin'fl]

Most of my life, no.

Recently, there have been some things that I've bee working out with DH, and things from our 29 year history has been brought up a lot. I'm usually one to let things go and move on, but analyzing the past has been a necessary part of our journey lately.

Having similar (but 27 year history with us). And ours, really DH's as he is the dweller in this case, started around 2008 and was intense for about 3 years and then went away but it's rearing it's ugly head again. I am not sure I can go another round (so maybe I am now dwelling too as I remember the last 3 year crap storm and do NOT want that again). Nearing 50 and just too old and tired. (but I am a dweller all the time...mostly short term though, like things that happened recently I go over and over in my head).

 

[DLgal]

Dwelling on something is different than reminiscing or fondly remembering. The definition of dwell says: to think, speak, or write at length about (a particular subject, especially one that is a source of unhappiness, anxiety, or dissatisfaction)

There is no harm in fondly remembering the past. It's a healthy, normal thing to do. Dwelling on things is usually not something that goes along with a healthy state of mind.

 

[Eeyore daily]

Yes all the time because I think had I made smarter decisions in the past, life would be better now. But then I also constantly worry about the future and try not to screw it up any more than I already have.

 

[KatMac]

I’m moving to southern california in eight months. There’s nothing in the past that can distract me from that!

 

[slpeters]

I guess I do but really only the good stuff. The bad stuff is just water under the bridge but I've always been one of the most nostalgic people I know. I'm finally starting to approach an age where the level of nostalgia I've always had at least makes sense.