I agree with you. It also sort of depends on who it is.
We have a lot of friends & family in southern CA. And in pre-COVID days, we'd go to
Disneyland about once a year or every 18 months. The first couple of trips were, like, 10 days long, and we'd spend 3 of those days at DL but the rest of the time running around like crazy people staying 1 or 2 nights at one house and then a couple of nights at this other person's place. And they all wanted 'hang out time' with us. After 2 trips like that, DH said, "Enough! No more."
A couple of the relatives' set ups at their homes are such that having 4 extra house guests even for a couple of days is cramped and difficult. For example: 8 people sharing 1 bathroom because the house has only 1 bathroom, and the 4 of us sleeping in a tent in the backyard (not joking!). At another relative's house, they have tons of space, but also a lot of stuff & clutter collected over 30+ years living in the same house...and those relatives are getting up there in years, so having house guests is harder for them now.
A couple of other friends...we're on good terms with them, but not close enough that DH & I would feel comfortable spending the night with them.
There's 1 set of friends who we do stay with regularly when we go to southern CA. They're like family, are easy going, etc.
For the relatives, the last time we were out there, we stayed a couple of nights in a hotel. Told all of the relatives in the area that we'd be hanging out at Relative So-and-So's house for the weekend on specific dates, and Relative So-and-So invited the other relatives to come over and hang out. The other relatives chose not to. They didn't want to drive (it was an hour's drive). Whereas, we'd driven 6.5 to get to them. Huh, ok.
DH & I always give a heads up to the friends & family prior to our DL trips and we always invite them all to meet up with us at DL if they want to. Other than the friends who we stay with, nobody ever takes us up on the offer.
They don't want to go anywhere and they all want us to make a series of house calls. If we did that, we'd spend, seriously, like 2 weeks each year doing only that.
It's a system that works a lot better for us now. We end up with our own space when we stay in a hotel. We can spread out, leave the bed a mess if we want, we don't have to sleep in a tent on somebody's back porch and take turns over 2 hours to take showers.