Former police officer, and of course have my CCW. Something goes with me everywhere I go.
A full size 9mm is going to be bulky and heavy. You're going to get tired of lugging that around pretty quickly. Hopefully hubby is open to the option of taking you to pick out something smaller and much lighter. Even if it's a smaller 9mm. I love the Beretta Nanos. I don't use a holster and find them to be uncomfortable. I much prefer a fanny pack or purse with a place to stow the weapon. I carry a Beretta 96A1. It's just what I'm most comfortable and most accurate with. Everyone is different.
FYI, you should NEVER pull a weapon unless your intention is to use it. It's not something to wave around and frighten people. That's called brandishing and will get you in serious trouble. It's a felony in most states and can escalate a situation pretty quickly. IMO and no snark meant here, that you're considering that as a legitimate defense is proof that you're not ready to be carrying a firearm. You also may not realize that carrying out in the open as a lone female might make you MORE of a target, rather than less of one. No one should ever know you have a weapon until it's time to use it.
Please take the course, carry concealed with the proper training and knowledge, and know that it's there if you need it. Likely, you never will.