Husbands on Mother's Day?

[mummabear]

My husband's opinion is that I'm not his mother, so he does nothing

 

[DisneyHardin]

My husband and I weren't able to have any kids and he knows that Mother's Day is a tough day for me since I always felt like I was born to be a mom. So, he always gets me a gift and card from our cats

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

The only thing I expect is for DH and the kids to say Happy Mother's Day to me. DD usually makes me a card in school. Last year, my brother had to remind DD to actually wish me a Happy Mother's Day since she forgot, and DH apparently forgot to say it until 930 pm through text, when he got to work, despite having spent the whole day with me, my mom and I cooking dinner/me lavishing my mom with gifts and sentiments. I wasn't mad, but hurt that he had forgotten to say it all day.

 

[Searc]

My husband's opinion is that I'm not his mother, so he does nothing

This sentiment from men pisses me off. It is disrespectful and lazy. You are the mother of his children and you deserve recognition.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Whem we were kids, what my dad did for my mom was take us all away somewhere and leave her home alone to relax.

Come to think of it, he did that most Sundays.

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

He doesn't do anything special beyond saying Happy Mother's Day because we agree not to celebrate things like mother's/father's day, valentines day, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

 

[Skippy918]

I expect him to take the kids off my hands for the day so I can do what I want to do.
I am hoping the kids will go to daddy for all their requests tomorrow. I also want them to cook a nice dinner.

 

[avengerspoilerer]

She is not my mother. Kid is making her breakfast in bed. Kid is going to a concert and the two of us are going to a football game.

 

[avengerspoilerer]

This sentiment from men pisses me off. It is disrespectful and lazy. You are the mother of his children and you deserve recognition.

This attitude disturbs me considering the woman who spearheaded the idea for a day to celebrate mother’s became resentful of the commercialisation of the day by candy and card companies.

Mother’s don’t need some day on the calendar to be recognized. Nor frankly do father’s.

I mean I just did a 32 hour trip for a memorial service involving two flights, meals, a hotel and rental car and I am wiped.

We need a day to honor road warriors!

 

[dazedx3]

Mother’s don’t need some day on the calendar to be recognized. Nor frankly do father’s.

You are right we don't need it....but being told you are appreciated is always nice to hear. It doesn't have to be commercial, just the sentiment can mean so much.

 

[disneychrista]

Mother’s don’t need some day on the calendar to be recognized. Nor frankly do father’s.

As long as those around them show they are appreciated all year long, I agree.

 

[ols386]

DH does not do anything for me on Mother’s Day, nor do I expect him to...I’m not his mother. It’s the same on Father’s Day.

 

[Hikergirl]

My dh appreciates me for being the mother of his children so he gives a small gift and takes me out for dinner.

 

[tcufrog]

I don't get along with my MIL and there's a bit of a low-key pissing match going between her and my mom. I decided that since celebrating with both of them on Mother's Day is too problematic, that grandmothers get Saturday and I get Sunday. One gets lunch or breakfast and one gets dinner. I and the kids take my mom and dad out and my DH takes out the kids and his mom. We each are responsible for gifts for our moms. On Mother's Day, my DH usually gets me flowers and a card and we go and do something fun as a family. Last year we went to the local Renaissance Festival and this year we're going to the lake. I don't like going to brunch or lunch on Mother's Day. It's usually subpar and overpriced plus full of families who aren't keeping an eye on their kids.

 

[aprilgail]

if there are little kids then he should help them make card and buy present- otherwise nothing, she is his wife, not his mother.

 

[BLAZEY]

My husband usually does something special, either on his own or with his brother as a group fro all the mums in the family (brunch tomorrow at BIL's house). They do it to celebrate all the mum's in their lives Nana, their mother, their step mother and their wives as the mothers to their children. In turn we have a BBQ on Father's day, for them.

 

[Wendy31]

DH & I both grew up in households where our dads acknowledged our mothers on Mother's Day & our mothers acknowledged our dads on Father's Day.

Even after all of us kids were grown & completely capable of handling our own gifts, they still acknowledged each other on Mother's & Father's Day & still do - w/ cards & flowers (for the wives) & gifts. (Well, DH's dad passed away last April, but, until he died, he & my MIL got something for the other on Mother's & Father's Days.)

So, maybe because that's how we were raised, DH & I have always acknowledged each other on Mother's & Father's Day as well once our DD was born.

So, to answer the OP -

DH may not be my dad, but, as he's the father of my children, I like to honor that as a something special & significant. And he's the same way w/ Mother's Day. I'm not his mother, but I'm the mother of his 3 kids. So Mother's Day & Father's Day are special to us - not just because we have our own parents, but because of what we are to each other.

And I don't see us NOT acknowledging one another after the kids are grown.

And regarding Mother's Day...

On Mother's Day, I treat DH's mother the same way I treat my own mother. While I may not always get them the same gift, I get them comparable gifts.

Tomorrow, DH is actually at work, but I'll take the kids to see both my mom & my mother-in-law.

It's always been the same for Father's Day (until last year when DH's dad passed away) as well. And I'm usually the one who decides what to get our parents & the one to purchase the gifts & cards. DH normally has better input when it come to our dads. Sometimes, DH shops w/ me, depending on his work schedule. It's a joint effort w/ me kind of engineering the task. I would never say to DH, "She's your mother, so it's your responsibility." Some day, I'll be a mother-in-law, so I want our kids to see me treating my mom & my mother-in-law equally & fairly.

And, honestly & admittedly, while I don't mind AT ALL getting something for our mothers for Mother's Day, I'd rather just have the day for being w/ DH & the kids & visit w/ our mothers on another day - but there is an expectation (not from DH) from both mothers that we'll see them on the actual Mother's Day.

So, in reality, around here, while DH & the kids always acknowledge me w/ cards & gifts, Mother's Day is more "Grandmother's Day" than it is "Mother's Day," but that's a whole other post! LOL!

 

[Nancyg56]

My husband can do what he wants on mother’s day. I’m not his mother.
If he wants to treat me extra special, great!
But there’s no expectation.

I have never expected any special consideration from my DH on Mother's Day, and he expects nothing extra from me on Father's Day, however we somehow manage to make the day very special. When my kids were younger (DH is nto their bio dad, but raised them) he made sure they were able to make the day special, and that was dependant on what the plans were for our entire family. I did the same for him on logistics og having us all Father's Day. I helped th kids do something, even if they wanted to work on why Buddy was so special to them.

Now that the kids are grown adn out of the house DH has taken a larger role in Mother's Day for some reason. He feels I am the matriarch of a large and sometimes motley crew of people who look to me as their Mom, Nana, Auntie etc, and he does more than he ever did. As do I for him. He took on a bunch of people who were never related to him, added a few more in just because he felt they needed him, (They do) and has managed to become a Patriach of our 'Ohana.

The adults in our family do so much to show both of us how special we are on our special days, but he and I facilitate a lot of the logistics.

This sentiment from men pisses me off. It is disrespectful and lazy. You are the mother of his children and you deserve recognition.

I think this is a strong statement. My DH always said I was not his Mother and he meant it. I am not. He is far from lazy or disrespectful, and honestly I think that how a man raises the children under his Wings and how he reaches them to care for the women in his life means more than shopping for flowers, chocolates, or any other trapping that Mother's Day often entails.

FTR: I have a DD, two DDIL, and a woman who is a DD in my heart. I buy them something just from me every Mother's Day. These women are part of the reason Mother's Day is so special for me, and that reason has nothing to do with children. It is how they impact my life personally.

WIth all this said, my DD has arranged to round up most of our 'Ohana and get them all together at my favorite Brunch spot. It is over an hour away on a busy yard work day, but you know.....it's Mother's Day! LOL!

 

[Mermaid02]

My husband's opinion is that I'm not his mother, so he does nothing

Well, neither one of us is Jesus either, but we buy each other Christmas presents.
My husband is very thoughtful, we buy each other gifts on Mother's Day and Father's Day (even though we don't have children together).

 

[Julie's Haircut]

Even though I'm not the father of her kids, my wife is still a mother. So I still wish her a Happy Mother's Day and often get her a card, mostly a funny one if I can find something appropriate; if not, a general card suitable for any mother.

I'm kind of surprised by the attitude of fathers who say their wives aren't their mothers and thus don't deserve anything from them. Not even a token acknowledgement or appreciation for being the mother of their kids?????