I’m not imagining things, am I?

[lifesavacation]

I wouldn't sign the loan documents under any condition.

Your husband now has 90k in his trading account. That's more than enough for him to risk for investments. If it's such a sure thing, he can turn that 90K into 500k and doesn't need the house money.

 

[SC Minnie]

OP-- I'm pretty sure if you sign a loan document you are responsible for paying it back. Being aware of a loan and signing the papers are vastly different. Putting your signature on those papers would be a huge mistake.

I agree with others, your H is mixed up in something that doesn't past the smell test. $90,000 is plenty of money to 'play' with and invest especially if that was his 'winnings'. It wouldn't matter if he lost it all since it didn't come out of household funds.

He very well could be mixed up with a scammer. They are good and can make you believe stuff that you wouldn't ordinarily believe.

 

[SteveMouse]

"awareness" here pretty much means "acceptance." And as a signatory, I'd be surprised if you didn't bear responsibility for repayment as a guarantor of the loan.

It's easy to fake profits on a spreadsheet. He could have sent the $16k, the recipient got the funds, mocked up a spreadsheet showing a "return" on investment, sent back the original $16k, and is now waiting for a bigger check (the $90k is just data on a page- go ahead and cash it- it may not be real).

 

[barkley]

"awareness" here pretty much means "acceptance." And as a signatory, I'd be surprised if you didn't bear responsibility for repayment, as a guarantor of the loan.

It's easy to fake profits on a spreadsheer. He could gave sent the $16k, the recipient got the funds, mocked up a spreadsheet shoeing a "return" on investment, sent back the original $16k, and is now waiting for a bigger check (the $90k is just data on a page- go ahead and cash it- it may not be real.

watching the show 'american greed' can show just how easy this type of manipulation and deception on the part of scammers is.

 

[Miffy]

Part of me wants to sign the papers saying I’m aware that he’s taking out this loan, let him invest it, and see what happens. My lawyer told me that even if he takes this loan out and I sign saying that I’m aware, he would have to pay me back from the rest of the equity in our home, so he wouldn’t “get away” with having the heloc money and half of the money from the sale of our house.

OP, Whatever you do, please, please, please do NOT sign that heloc. Because you will be responsible to pay it back if your husband doesn't.

Are you definitely selling your home? If so, sell your home, take your half of the money, and let your husband do whatever he wants with his investments.

If you're not selling your home and you don't even want to, why on earth would you sign the heloc even if it meant he'd have to take this money out of his share of the home's equity? And what if the sale of your home took months or years? Or your home isn't worth what the bank thinks it's currently worth? And do you really want to move?

Is your lawyer also your husband's lawyer? I'm wondering about this because this lawyer doesn't really seem to have your best interests at heart.

 

[TCRAIG]

Three words of advice - DON’T SIGN ANYTHING!!!!

 

[wenrob]

Do NOT sign that loan. Do not sign anything saying you’re aware of the loan. Do not sign ANYTHING. Do NOT be convinced he’s going to make you tons of money. He is not. He’s being scammed. Even if he were not there is zero guarantee he’ll make money. It’s an absolutely foolhardy idea to risk your home and financial security for what is essentially gambling. Do you know why Vegas is always thriving no matter how many big winners we have? Because the house always wins. Always. There is no legit way he’s going to be suddenly rich. There just isn’t. And yeah, you sign anything, you’re liable.

 

[dvcgirl67]

I'm so confused by your tone OP....if what you say is happening....is really happening, I'm not understanding your light hearted tone (lols and emojis), and kind of sitting back to see what he does next.

Wanting to "sign the loan papers to see what happens"??? Sounds to me like he's attempting to borrow heavily against your home to use options to day trade and has absolutely no idea what he's doing. Whatever he takes out your house to do this...he will lose.

If I'm in this situation, number one...I'd get a new attorney if that's the advice you're getting. Then, I'd go to my husband and ask what the hell is going on with him. This kind of secrecy and lying would be so out of character for my husband, I'd probably take him to get an MRI to make sure there wasn't something very wrong with his brain. Color me confused I guess.

 

[Chili327]

He was telling her that he’s already made $90k doing small trades (Facts: He invested 16k and got back that much, which he withdrew and put into our accounts [so I know it’s real] and now there’s a balance of $90K in his trading account).

In his "trading Acct" ? What exactly does this mean... something you can verify, or have seen in a legitimate acct, or some screenshot or possible fake acct. (fake website) Scammers do all kinds of things to make you think you're winning. If this money isn't IN his usual financial acct, then I'd be pretty skeptical it even exists.

Your husband now has 90k in his trading account. That's more than enough for him to risk for investments. If it's such a sure thing, he can turn that 90K into 500k and doesn't need the house money.

THIS!!!
if its such a sure thing and the money really exists, use the $90k. I'd bet it doesn't really exist, Tell him to withdraw it, then you will discuss investing it again, but NOT until you see it is actually real money.

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

I’m going to call my lawyer tomorrow and get clearer info from him.

The people from Bank of America are scheduled to come to our house this Friday morning, for us to sign the papers. I’m going to see if my lawyer can be here before anyone signs anything.


I didn’t mean to sound flip in my earlier post. To be honest, I’m numb right now. Kind of shocked when i think about this whole thing. I sometimes want to take too many of my pills and just not wake up but I can’t and won’t. I also feel like jumping off the bridge. I’ve gone through some traumatic family things in the last couple of months. Loss of my only sister a month and a half ago. Suddenly. i was her minutes after she passed. You don’t want to know what image I have in my head from that. My sister was a very strong person. She was my anchor in life. My rock. She would’ve told my husband “She’s not going to sign anything because it’s too risky and she doesn’t have enough info about it. And that that. Period.“

I know that that is what I should do and say. I’m so worn down now, emotionally and mentally that I just can’t deal with anything.

As for all of the emoticons that I use, that doesn’t mean anything. If you know the real me, you’d that I love to use them.

 

[kuhltiffany]

OP, you need to protect yourself and your son. There is no “us” anymore, he is sinking and you need to separate yourself from him financially in order to make your future secure.

Do not sign anything, phone the bank tomorrow and let them know you are not a part of this loan. Then make sure your personal lawyer knows exactly what is happening.

 

[lisaviolet]

The people from Bank of America are scheduled to come to our house this Friday morning, for us to sign the papers. I’m going to see if my lawyer can be here before anyone signs anything.

Honestly, in your situation I simply would not be home. That is way too much pressure on you. Husband & bank employees, who of course would love the interest coming their way.

Do you have the financial ability to go to a hotel for the night, with your son if need be? I honestly would be that proactive.

I am so very sorry for everything you are going through & for the loss of your sister. I do not want to infiltrate your pain or the intimacy of your loss, so forgive this intrusion but please still lean on your sister. And find your strength in what she provided for you. See her with you on this stress. Honour he r - and of course yourself - by staying strong and not doing what is not in your best interest & more importantly not what you want to do.

Be careful with the lawyer. Sometimes, how do I put this, their advice can get more loose when dealing with a man's 'freedom'. Concentrate more on what you want, which is not to sign something you are not in agreement with, for your life & future. And of course your son's in tandem.

I have been reading the thread & have felt tremendous compassion for you Love sent to you, sincerely. There is pain regardless of course but grabbing your power will limit its impact. I have always found when I grab mine back, life gets easier and clearer. Almost every single time. Grab yours.

 

[cayennews]

Talk to a lawyer. Keep records. Protect yourself. Open a new account and stop depositing into the joint account. You don't want it to disappear.

 

[TwoMisfits]

Cancel the Friday appointment.
Do NOT sign loan paperwork.
At this point, with where this thread has gone, have your lawyer draft divorce paperwork and serve that on Friday. Trust is broken in this relationship, probably both ways at this point, and it just needs to be official with the served papers. From that point forward, you are protected monetarily, so all of this loan stuff wouldn't matter.

 

[barkley]

just a thought from a parent of a disabled adult child-

do you and/or your dh have legal guardianship of yours? if so-does it include financial guardianship (in my state it's called 'guardianship of the estate')? if your child receives social security are either or both of you 'protective payees' (where the check is deposited in one of YOUR accounts vs. an account over which the disabled adult child has control but you help with social security issues as an 'authorized representative')?

if the answer is 'yes' to any of these questions then you need to be VERY careful with what is occuring b/c you have a fiduciary duty to your adult child-and both the courts (guardianship) and social security (protective payee) can get involved if they see that something hinky is going on and that you were aware of it and took no proactive steps to protect your disabled adult child. in some cases guardianship can be revoked and adult protective services gets involved.

if you truly have an attorney-make sure they are aware of your status regarding your disabled adult child b/c beyond the financial issues you've shared, if things go further south and a nasty divorce happens-if you AND your husband are co-guardians it could get very messy.

 

[wenrob]

I’m going to call my lawyer tomorrow and get clearer info from him.

The people from Bank of America are scheduled to come to our house this Friday morning, for us to sign the papers. I’m going to see if my lawyer can be here before anyone signs anything.


I didn’t mean to sound flip in my earlier post. To be honest, I’m numb right now. Kind of shocked when i think about this whole thing. I sometimes want to take too many of my pills and just not wake up but I can’t and won’t. I also feel like jumping off the bridge. I’ve gone through some traumatic family things in the last couple of months. Loss of my only sister a month and a half ago. Suddenly. i was her minutes after she passed. You don’t want to know what image I have in my head from that. My sister was a very strong person. She was my anchor in life. My rock. She would’ve told my husband “She’s not going to sign anything because it’s too risky and she doesn’t have enough info about it. And that that. Period.“

I know that that is what I should do and say. I’m so worn down now, emotionally and mentally that I just can’t deal with anything.

As for all of the emoticons that I use, that doesn’t mean anything. If you know the real me, you’d that I love to use them.

Nah, don’t attend that appointment. They’re going to pressure you and make you feel like you have to sign it. The bank does not care how or why or what the money is for. When your DH loses it all they’ll take your house. Don’t give your DH that power. Be ZERO part of this.

 

[focusondisney]

Ok, thank you to both of you! I’ve been led to believe that I’m only “aware” that the other person on the house deed is taking out this loan. I do NOT want to be held responsible for this loan. None of my personal information has been used for this loan. Ugh. I told him today that I need to see and read over the document beforehand.

Ok thanks…. I need to speak to my lawyer again!

Even if the paper only says you’re aware, what do you think will happen if he defaults? The bank will take the collateral….your home. They won’t take “his” half & leave you yours. They will take your home. And then you can go ahead & take him to court & try to get your money from him. Good luck with that.

 

[wenrob]

Cancel the Friday appointment.
Do NOT sign loan paperwork.
At this point, with where this thread has gone, have your lawyer draft divorce paperwork and serve that on Friday. Trust is broken in this relationship, probably both ways at this point, and it just needs to be official with the served papers. From that point forward, you are protected monetarily, so all of this loan stuff wouldn't matter.

I usually don’t advocate for divorce but holy crap the trust in this relationship is just blown to smithereens. The smartest thing for the OP to do is protect herself. Too many women feel guilty for going with their gut and fail to look out for their own best interest.

Even if the paper only says you’re aware, what do you think will happen if he defaults? The bank will take the collateral….your home. They won’t take “his” half & leave you yours. They will take your home. And then you can go ahead & take him to court & try to get your money from him. Good luck with that.

Adding to this, you are married OP, his debt is your debt. Don’t go thinking if he does this without you that you’ll be in the clear. They’ll go after whoever they can to make themselves whole when he defaults.

 

[Miffy]

Even if the paper only says you’re aware, what do you think will happen if he defaults? The bank will take the collateral….your home. They won’t take “his” half & leave you yours. They will take your home. And then you can go ahead & take him to court & try to get your money from him. Good luck with that.

^^^^This, OP. Read it and understand that this is the truth.

I am really doubting your lawyer has your interests in mind at all. You've gotten better advice from people in this thread than you have from your lawyer.

 

[cabanafrau]

^^^^This, OP. Read it and understand that this is the truth.

I am really doubting your lawyer has your interests in mind at all. You've gotten better advice from people in this thread than you have from your lawyer.

There's absolutely no shortage of hinky things in this thread to cause doubts.