squirk
Saw what you did and knows who you are.
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2011
My teen daughter has two very close friends, and the three of them are kind of inseparable.
Kid A (Radiohead fans? ) has been friends with my daughter since birth. Kid A is relatively level-headed, well-mannered, knows how to act properly in public, and requires no more supervision than my own daughter would. That is to say, "not much".
Kid B is a nice kid, but she comes from a much different background. Family is a little "rough around the edges" (at least, in our opinion), and has a different perspective on what's allowable public behavior and what is not. Kid B is kind of manic and can be unpredictable. Tends to deviate from instructions. Yells/curses at the top of her lungs a lot at inappropriate times. We're not huge sticklers on cursing, but Kid B sometimes does so, loudly, in front of our younger kids. Never deliberately, never maliciously - she's just been raised by parents with different sensibilities. In short, while Kid B is a good friend to our daughter, we nonetheless find her to be a "handful" to deal with, especially in public.
We are very close with Kid A and want to invite her on our next cruise. We like Kid B, too, but we really don't want to invite her, because it will not be a relaxing trip for us if we are constantly needing to redirect her behavior.
That said, we don't want to hurt Kid B's feelings by being excluded. My daughter recognizes and agrees with our concerns, but worries about harming her relationship with Kid B. It would be impossible to take Kid A without Kid B finding out, and we don't want to ask anyone to lie.
The two obvious solutions are to either a.) take neither Kid A nor Kid B, and avoid the issue altogether; or b.) just bite the bullet and take both of them. But I'd like to come up with a third option where we take Kid A without making Kid B feel bad.
I know everyone's different, and will have different opinions on stuff like this, but I'm guessing some of you have faced similar situations. How would you address to let down Kid B as easily as possible?
Kid A (Radiohead fans? ) has been friends with my daughter since birth. Kid A is relatively level-headed, well-mannered, knows how to act properly in public, and requires no more supervision than my own daughter would. That is to say, "not much".
Kid B is a nice kid, but she comes from a much different background. Family is a little "rough around the edges" (at least, in our opinion), and has a different perspective on what's allowable public behavior and what is not. Kid B is kind of manic and can be unpredictable. Tends to deviate from instructions. Yells/curses at the top of her lungs a lot at inappropriate times. We're not huge sticklers on cursing, but Kid B sometimes does so, loudly, in front of our younger kids. Never deliberately, never maliciously - she's just been raised by parents with different sensibilities. In short, while Kid B is a good friend to our daughter, we nonetheless find her to be a "handful" to deal with, especially in public.
We are very close with Kid A and want to invite her on our next cruise. We like Kid B, too, but we really don't want to invite her, because it will not be a relaxing trip for us if we are constantly needing to redirect her behavior.
That said, we don't want to hurt Kid B's feelings by being excluded. My daughter recognizes and agrees with our concerns, but worries about harming her relationship with Kid B. It would be impossible to take Kid A without Kid B finding out, and we don't want to ask anyone to lie.
The two obvious solutions are to either a.) take neither Kid A nor Kid B, and avoid the issue altogether; or b.) just bite the bullet and take both of them. But I'd like to come up with a third option where we take Kid A without making Kid B feel bad.
I know everyone's different, and will have different opinions on stuff like this, but I'm guessing some of you have faced similar situations. How would you address to let down Kid B as easily as possible?
Last edited: