Language - foul and fair...

[Buckaroo's Dad]

I hope the moderators will allow this post to remain here on the Dis cruise boards. It probably belongs on the debate board, but I don't know most of the posters there and would value far more any and all responses given here. Thank you.

DS10 and I took the Long Island Railroad into Manhattan the other evening to see a play. On the return trip (around 11pm), two 25ish+ "gentlemen" were sitting near us. They were boisterous and crude. After listening to too many 4-letter words for nearly 10-minutes, I called over to them, "Hey, guys. Watch your language." They grumbled, but shut up when I told them my 10-year-old son was a passenger in the train car. By the way, there were many other individuals and couples around who had been giving them dirty looks, but said absolutely nothing when I confronted them. Anyway.

Interestingly enough, one of the "gentlemen" said to me, "Youse gotta remember, dis (no relation) iz PUBLIC transportation." Do you guys think "public" = the lowest common denominator? I never thought so but then again maybe I'm wrong...

 

[KaitlinsMom]

I am glad you said something - It showed your son that you respect him and are willing to stand up for him - If my husband and I are somwhere, and there is lots of swearing, my husband will speak up and say" excuse me mates (he is English), there is a lady present" - I really admire that about him. Public place or not.

 

[lzj21428]

I experienced a similar situation on the Metro here in DC. I was riding w/ my 10 yo DS and 7 yo DD. The language coming out of the "people" behind us was awful. I turned around and told them that there were young children on the train and could they please tone it down. I just got sneers and laughter and more foul language. Luckily, they got off two stops later. I guess public does = the lowest commom denominator in some places. Glad you had the nerve to speak up when others didn't.

 

[dzneprincess]

I guess I look at it differently. The way I see it, I cant hide them from the ugliness of society forever. When we go out in public, my children understand that they may encounter people from all walks of life. While it would definitely have bothered me I don't know that I would have said anything. Interesting question though.

 

[aprilgail2]

I had the same thing on the train when I took my daughter into the city...I really hate taking the train (and I work for the LIRR!)...I finally said "excuse me could you watch your language" and they apologized and that was that. One time I was in the food store and the two cashiers next to each other were discussing a party they went to the night before including a very graphic description of a couple in one of the bedrooms was so annoyed that I actually wrote a letter to the store about it. Another time on the LIRR two young men got on and sat next to my godson, me and my daughter and proceeded onto a major make out session with one sitting on the other facing him in one seat moaning and groaning...now I couldn't care if it was 2 guys, 2 girls or a guy and a girl, it was just not appropriate in public.....My godson was really uncomfortable with the whole thing. I think the LIRR must get the lowest class of people on it...just be happy you weren't on there with your son a few months back when the 3 people were arrested for having sex right there with other people in the car!
Oh well...enough about my classy place of employment LOL!

 

[gonna go cruising]

I admire you speaking up. I probably would have given dirty looks and talked alot to my child to help disguise their crudeness. Then later we would have discussed that was improper behavior from grown men. I think public would mean use one's best behavior and not impose foul language on others especially youngsters.

Another pet peeve of mine, completely off topic, but have to mention it: Sitting in a restaurant, enjoying the meal, in walks someone who is doused in perfume. It actually turns my stomach to be subjected to it in large quantities. Do they not smell it in the car? Its pretty bad to smell someone's perfume before you reach them. I am not anti perfume at all but come on, moderation here.

Now I will step down from my soapbox. Sorry to have rambled.

 

[AnnMorin]

Unfortuneatly there are so many crass and crude people in the world. I think the example that you set for your son is very admirable (yes I do know I am doing a horrible job with the spelling but I am sure you know what I mean ) A little class can go a long way.. too bad more people do not act that way.

 

[SueEllen]

I did the same thing on a WDW bus one time--we were in the back of the bus with my then 9 year old daughter. There were some VERY ROWDY teens with foul mouths. Several other guests looked quite uncomfortable--so I looked over and told them to watch their language--there were young children around and it wasn't the place for it. They looked STUNNED that anyone spoke up to them. Needless to say I got some very happy looks from other guests on the bus, and also the other teens were then giving the one I spoke to a hard time (ribbing him because someone said something to him.) I was VERY glad I did...I think it sets a great example for your children that you are willing to stand up for what is right. Public transportation or not, people should realize when children are present and watch what they say.

Sue Ellen

 

[MrsPete]

While it is somewhat dangerous in our society today, I think you did the right thing. Even if the two men didn't change their behavior, YOUR SON knows that you disapprove of such language and that means that he is not likely to copy their example.

Something similar happened to my family recently: We were picnicking in a public park when a man came walking right through our family's picnic shelter screaming 4-letter words at his 10-ish son, who had strayed away from his group. My father-in-law called out to him, asking him to watch his language around the children. He said something snappy back to my father-in-law and kept on going. 10-15 minutes later -- after he'd recovered his own child -- he came back and apologized, saying that he'd been angry and upset about his son and he regretted his behavior. He must have been a decent man who just "lost it" for a moment.

 

[floridaminnie]

My younger brother uses foul language at times around DD and I always have to bring it to his attention (he's around the same age as the above individuals). I don't know if they think it's cool or what, but they don't realize how much of a fool they are making of themselves. Noone with intelligence needs to add certain words to their vocabulary to make their point. BTW, little bro usually discontinues or I leave which makes a point in itself.

 

[Dreamer04]

It is not acceptable to infringe on the rights of others. Their language was offensive and disruptive. You did the right thing, BD, and I'm sure more than a few other passengers were grateful.

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Originally posted by Buckaroo's Dad
Interestingly enough, one of the "gentlemen" said to me, "Youse gotta remember, dis (no relation) iz PUBLIC transportation." Do you guys think "public" = the lowest common denominator? I never thought so but then again maybe I'm wrong...

You did the right thing, BD. Some people have no manners or common sense whatsoever. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be getting any better out there.

 

[DisneyHumbug]

I admire you BD - the world needs more people to speak up.
I tend to remain quiet - I'm always afraid they have a gun. My kids make fun of me all the time!

 

[Jeanny]

you did the right thing BD. They would have continued to use crude language, because a) they think they are cool, and b) they really don't know any better.

I work in a college athletic department, my office is right next to the gym where the kids come to play basketball. The first time the freshmen are in the gym and they let the F word go, I walk out into the middle of the court and call a time out, -now picture this, I'm 5 feet tall and they'll all 5-10 & up-I look up & ask "Who is the English Major here?" and they look down at me like 'what is this chick talking about?' (I'm sure they think a F word in there somewhere too), so then I ask "are you using that F word as an adjective or a verb?" and they continue to look at me like they still don't understand, then I say "my rule is NO F-WORDS, I'm in the other room and people can hear you over my phone!!!" They'll say "sorry, we didn't know you were there", so I just tell them, "Be careful, because you never know who is around or who is listening"

If my returning students are on the court, and I hear the language, I'll walk out there and say "What's my rule? and they'll all yell out "NO F WORDS GUYS!!" I'll tell them to just be aware of how many times in a sentence you use that word and I'm going to charge you 25 cents each time you use it!! Geez, I may get a new Field House out of this deal!! once they're aware of "my rule" all I have to do is yell "HEY" and they'll all stop and say "we're sorry, we forgot you were in there" and they're usually good about it for the rest of the time they're in the gym.

My point in this long winded story is, if you don't make them aware of their language, they'll never know any better. Most of them have grown up hearing that type of language and think it's normal. My cousin uses the F-word, then says whoops, I'm sorry, I forgot... I tell her "just wait until you 4 year old daughter says it in school sometime and gets detention or suspended!!

ok, I'm also stepping down off my soapbox. Just trying to make the world a better place to live and work.

 

[musicgirl]

Way to go Bd! I too would not hesitate to say something to someone (unless of course it apprears the situation is questionable). I'm a teacher dealing with kids K-12 and I seem to be able to hear everything. Even in the best places, this seems to be acceptable among young people.

Whenever my ds 13 is with us I always make sure he understands that this is not acceptable and that it would make him appear to be uneducated.

 

[mjvans]

Doesn't it feel good to step out of the box and take a stand on behalf of your son and others around?? You did the right thing and should be congratulated!!
I had something similar happen to me this past August on a disney bus. Although it wasn't based on foul language, it was still ugly to me nonetheless. We were heading back to our hotel and there were 2 young kids( around 9-10 years old) that were clearly making fun of a young man with downs syndrome. The young man was sitting with his dad in a seat, his father affectionately holding him close to him with his arm around him and these 2 kids, standing up in the aisle kept pointing, staring and laughing, I was beyond pissed and of course the parents of these kids were no where to be found!! I felt my Italian blood boiling by the lack of respect for humankind. I kept trying to get their attention by making eye contact but to no avail. I finally tapped them on the shoulders and told them it was really not polite to stare and please knock it off!! Well, lo and behold they stopped but I was still blown away with their rude behavior towards another human being..........the thing that got me was that they KNEW what they were doing ................and did it anyway!
Michelle

 

[CRB#33]

Wow! Good for you for speaking up.

I think that grown adults should be respectful of the ears of children wherever they are. It doesn't matter if it's public, private or whatever. That's not the issue. The issue is respect.

There's too little of that these days.

 

[musicgirl]

Well said CBR#33!!!

 

[KarenB]

I was thinking about this same topic last night at the HS football game. I was chaperoning for the band at an away game. I was taking my turn watching the garment bags and instrument cases behind the bleachers and I could not believe the language of children and adults alike!!! I have a good sense of humor and I am pretty open minded, but some of the stuff I heard was awful!

Karen