This made me cry. Without going into tons of boring details, my best friend of 30 years FINALLY told me he was gay. Actually he couldn't even bring himself to say the words. He made me guess and this was via e-mail - UGH. He and I had kind of lost touch for about 10 years. Now we are in constant touch via text messaging, e-mail, phone and in person. The problem with the in person is he is in FL and I'm in MA.
He has never told anyone. He has a close circle of gay friends who of course know but he's never told relatives, co-workers, or other friends. He is 50 years old and so unhappy and uncomfortable with himself.
My most immediate problem is that in two weeks we will be going to WDW together with my 17 year old daughter and 19 year old son. My daughter met him and loves him. My son has not met him and there is the problem. My friend keeps putting himself down with such horrible comments. When he met my daughter which was also at WDW he bought her, her 17 year old friend and me all t-shirts. When he went to gaydays, he sent her a splash mountain shirt, which I think she wears 5 out of 7 days a week. My friend asked me if I think he should buy a t-shirt for my son or would he be uncomfortable getting a present from an old gay guy. I don't know how to respond to stuff like that. My response was I'm sure he'd love to get a shirt from my friend who happens to be gay. The four of us are staying in one room. I told my daughter she could share a bed with me and my son could sleep on the floor. Does that make my son or me sound like a homophobe? I am so terrified of say or doing something that will hurt my friend.
Now for the long term, he never really has had any long term relationships. I think he would really like to though. I think he makes stupid dating decisions that aren't going to lead to a long term relationship. But I'm no expert in this area. Does anyone have any suggestions? I think if I make a negative comment about his dating choices, he takes it to be a negative comment about "same-sex" dating and correctly points out that I don't know anything about it. He's right. I don't. But there would be nothing that would make me happier than to see him happy.
My problem is that in general I try to fix everyone's problems. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get informed so I can help my friend? Are PFLAG meetings someplace to start?
And he watched this movie just a few weeks ago and then did NOTHING for the rest of the weekend because he was too depressed.
Hmmm, I see I started this by saying without going into too much detail. Imagine if I had gone into detail.
All I can tell you is PFLAG is Amazing! But you know I could not have done it without other Gay men in my life for support! I am 35 and just told my family three days ago and it was the best think to ever happen to me! I saw this movie and I was a mess for two weeks I can tell you for the past 5 years I was planning my own funeral I knew i was going to take my own life I just didn't know how! Then I meet great people and the best thing is Love and just talking about it All a gay Man really needs is support! And Love! Please just sit down and talk about it! It will all be Ok Trust me If I can be Happy being gay Anyone can! I just need to know I was not alone!