Promposals....

[mercydisney]

Thank god they aren't a thing here.

I honestly thought you were trying to be funny and meant here on Disboards! I think I need a vacation

 

[mom2rtk]

What I think a lot of the adults against them don't understand is they're basically expected now, so not doing them isn't the norm for quite a lot of kids today.

Yep, that.

The ship has sailed. Get on board or get out of the way. I feel sorry for the young men having such a high level of expectation put on them. For some boys, just asking is hard enough. Knowing their performance is being evaluated by the internet would suck the fun right out of it. Some are just better suited to public showy things than others.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I enjoy the occasional Promposal disasters that are occasionally posted on YouTube and elsewhere.

Same schadenfreude for the wedding proposals gone awry at baseball games and other public places.

 

[ols386]

I agree. Too much stress. It's not like a marriage proposal Its' a dance. Will the student be disappointed when the promposal ended up better than the actual wedding proposal? To me there is so much over the top these days.

Totally agree. Too much over the top about too many things these days

 

[cabanafrau]

It doesn't leave much for a person to be excited about. Could you imagine if your marriage proposal doesn't measure up to, or exceed your prom proposal?

Any adult who's contemplating marriage who would seriously entertain the thought that they're "let down" by their marriage proposal because it doesn't contain the requisite bells and whistles of their promposal probably needs some time to consider if they're either mature enough to be contemplating such a serious commitment or if they're even interested in their mate enough to be considering spending their life with them.

 

[diznygirl]

Yep, that.

The ship has sailed. Get on board or get out of the way. I feel sorry for the young men having such a high level of expectation put on them. For some boys, just asking is hard enough. Knowing their performance is being evaluated by the internet would suck the fun right out of it. Some are just better suited to public showy things than others.

Isn't that peer pressure? Isn't that what we as parents are supposed to be nagging our children against?

"If Jimmy jumps off a bridge, will you jump off a bridge too?"

This is ridiculous. Do it or don't do it - but not doing it should ALWAYS be an option. And not one that is looked down upon.

 

[Matoskah Poodle]

Any adult who's contemplating marriage who would seriously entertain the thought that they're "let down" by their marriage proposal because it doesn't contain the requisite bells and whistles of their promposal probably needs some time to consider if they're either mature enough to be contemplating such a serious commitment or if they're even interested in their mate enough to be considering spending their life with them.

My son is outgoing but not the flashy public speaking type, but the lady he was dating obviously was. He had arranged for a carriage pick them up from a restaurant they had met at for drinks and take them to the Houston Zoo after it had closed. There was private dinner for the two of them by the reflection pool after which he asked her to marry him. Per him her response was, "This is really nice but I expected you to ask me around more people, so yes as long as you ask me again at the party next weekend." She gave him the ring back so he could surprise her at the party. She was surprised. He didn't go.

Sadly people do compare the proposal to thier preset expectations, but both parties need to be mature enough to recogize what is a priority for them. DS realized the "show" was not for him and it would never work. I am sure the beautiful lady he left found her showy prince charming.

 

[cabanafrau]

My son is outgoing but not the flashy public speaking type, but the lady he was dating obviously was. He had arranged for a carriage pick them up from a restaurant they had met at for drinks and take them to the Houston Zoo after it had closed. There was private dinner for the two of them by the reflection pool after which he asked her to marry him. Per him her response was, "This is really nice but I expected you to ask me around more people, so yes as long as you ask me again at the party next weekend." She gave him the ring back so he could surprise her at the party. She was surprised. He didn't go.

Sadly people do compare the proposal to thier preset expectations, but both parties need to be mature enough to recogize what is a priority for them. DS realized the "show" was not for him and it would never work. I am sure the beautiful lady he left found her showy prince charming.

Clearly they were incompatible. He dodged a bullet there.

 

[mom2rtk]

Clearly they were incompatible. He dodged a bullet there.

Gonna have to agree.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Do these seem like the most ridiculous things to anyone else?

I can only imagine what this means...Just say no.

 

[Vijoge]

My son is outgoing but not the flashy public speaking type, but the lady he was dating obviously was. He had arranged for a carriage pick them up from a restaurant they had met at for drinks and take them to the Houston Zoo after it had closed. There was private dinner for the two of them by the reflection pool after which he asked her to marry him. Per him her response was, "This is really nice but I expected you to ask me around more people, so yes as long as you ask me again at the party next weekend." She gave him the ring back so he could surprise her at the party. She was surprised. He didn't go.

Sadly people do compare the proposal to thier preset expectations, but both parties need to be mature enough to recogize what is a priority for them. DS realized the "show" was not for him and it would never work. I am sure the beautiful lady he left found her showy prince charming.

Tell your son that was an amazing proposal! Well, I'm sure you already have, but it was impressive. Some lady is going to be so lucky someday.

 

[mnrose]

In a word, yes.

 

[Minnesota!]

I hate them. Blech. I will discourage my sons from doing them, for sure.

 

[cabanafrau]

Isn't that peer pressure? Isn't that what we as parents are supposed to be nagging our children against?

"If Jimmy jumps off a bridge, will you jump off a bridge too?"

This is ridiculous. Do it or don't do it - but not doing it should ALWAYS be an option. And not one that is looked down upon.

Teenage years are filled with the exploration of conforming/not conforming with your peer group. Every choice to conform isn't inherently a negative one, deserving of criticism for choosing to participate. I mean some choose to go through life as a rebel not only without a cause, but also without a clue. I don't happen to think that's a noble path either.

I can't help but notice that all of the criticisms of doing a promposal make leaps to the extreme, the OTT, the public displays, the exorbitant expense. I don't think that applies to a good portion of these promposals that take place, so I don't see the need for the negativity for something that you're not required to participate in, probably wouldn't even know about unless you know one of the participants -- and even then it's not a certainty you'd know about it, let alone witness it

You say, do it or don't and not doing it shouldn't be looked down upon. Why should choosing to do it be viewed any different? You're not being asked to participate, watch or pay for a thing -- why should a bunch of adults have the ability to judge and shame kids who choose to participate in this harmless activity?

 

[Minnesota!]

Totally agree. Too much over the top about too many things these days

OT - but where is your user pic from? That looks SO gorgeous, and just the kind of vacation I need

 

[mom2rtk]

Isn't that peer pressure? Isn't that what we as parents are supposed to be nagging our children against?

"If Jimmy jumps off a bridge, will you jump off a bridge too?"

This is ridiculous. Do it or don't do it - but not doing it should ALWAYS be an option. And not one that is looked down upon.

I guess it's a form of peer pressure. But some kids just don't have it in them to do grand showy gestures. So I see it as different.

The same could be said for those who do these. Do it or don't do it. Don't concern yourself with those of us who have a different opinion of them.

 

[QueenIsabella]

My son is outgoing but not the flashy public speaking type, but the lady he was dating obviously was. He had arranged for a carriage pick them up from a restaurant they had met at for drinks and take them to the Houston Zoo after it had closed. There was private dinner for the two of them by the reflection pool after which he asked her to marry him. Per him her response was, "This is really nice but I expected you to ask me around more people, so yes as long as you ask me again at the party next weekend." She gave him the ring back so he could surprise her at the party. She was surprised. He didn't go.

Sadly people do compare the proposal to thier preset expectations, but both parties need to be mature enough to recogize what is a priority for them. DS realized the "show" was not for him and it would never work. I am sure the beautiful lady he left found her showy prince charming.

Heck, I would marry him!

Bummer that it didn't work out, but it's for the best, I'm sure. I can't believe his intended didn't appreciate the care and thought that went into that proposal.

 

[luvsJack]

Teenage years are filled with the exploration of conforming/not conforming with your peer group. Every choice to conform isn't inherently a negative one, deserving of criticism for choosing to participate. I mean some choose to go through life as a rebel not only without a cause, but also without a clue. I don't happen to think that's a noble path either.

I can't help but notice that all of the criticisms of doing a promposal make leaps to the extreme, the OTT, the public displays, the exorbitant expense. I don't think that applies to a good portion of these promposals that take place, so I don't see the need for the negativity for something that you're not required to participate in, probably wouldn't even know about unless you know one of the participants -- and even then it's not a certainty you'd know about it, let alone witness it

You say, do it or don't and not doing it shouldn't be looked down upon. Why should choosing to do it be viewed any different? You're not being asked to participate, watch or pay for a thing -- why should a bunch of adults have the ability to judge and shame kids who choose to participate in this harmless activity?

Thank you!! My thoughts exactly!

I honestly think most here over think this whole thing. Yes, there may be a few over the top promposals, just like there are over the top proposals, pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, birthday parties, etc. etc. etc. Some people just do things over the top, its just their thought process. The vast majority of these things are simply something meaningful from the one doing the asking to the one being asked. Or its simply a cutsie way of asking the question.

 

[pryncess527]

I don't think it's any more ridiculous than the "new at the time" things I did as a teenager that my mom & grandmother thought were stupid and pointless then too.

 

[Matoskah Poodle]

Clearly they were incompatible. He dodged a bullet there.

He did dodge a bullet and I am lucky he was smart emough to realize it.

Tell your son that was an amazing proposal! Well, I'm sure you already have, but it was impressive. Some lady is going to be so lucky someday.

I totally did because that proposal was so far beyond his normal and he did find a lucky lady.

Bummer that it didn't work out, but it's for the best, I'm sure. I can't believe his intended didn't appreciate the care and thought that went into that proposal.

Sad to say I had no problem beliving it.