I was a CP working the turnstiles at Epcot from February-August, and over my seven months working there, I heard some doozies
First of all, please imagine that you're going through the front gates at Epcot. Not International Gateway, the main entrance. What's the first thing you see? Spaceship Earth, right? Well, somebody asked me, dead serious, "Where's the big Epcot ball?" I swear it took me a couple seconds to figure out how to answer him without being sarcastic.
I got the 3:00 parade thing several times, too, which is weird because Epcot doesn't HAVE a 3:00 parade. People would ask me where the monorail was when it was directly behind me and right over my head with a huge glowing sign that said MONORAIL on it. That's not as bad as people thinking it's a ride and getting all ticked off/not believing me when I said it was transportation to the TTC
One of my favorites, though, didn't happen to me but my friend. He was helping a guest and his ticked wasn't working because the family didn't have the Park Hopper option on their ticket. So he calmly tells them Guest Relations can get one for them, but he can't do anything. The guy gives him the
filthiest look, and says in a really snooty, holier-than-thou voice, "Sir,
I'm staying at the Grand Floridian. I think
I can afford a Park Hopper." My friend did finally get him to go afford his Park Hopper at Guest Relations, because he certainly didn't get it when he bought the tickets!