Good luck on your trip!
My family has been together 6 times in the past three years, with my son who is Aspergers/OCD.
What has worked for us and may help:
Get the GAC first thing. Gosh, the meltdowns that we've avoided since we learned about it. Trip 4, 5 and 6 went so much better than the trips prior!
I suggest spending the money to rent the WDW strollers, unless you've got a stroller with a sunscreen (no umbrella stroller). The reason why the Disney strollers work well with my son is that he is 'cocooned' on three sides, cutting out much of the visual stimuli. If you are bringing your own stroller, make sure it surrounds her. Better yet, if you can lay it down for her. Son is almost 8 and is too big to sleep in the WDW strollers, but likes to lay down. We try to bring a towel or small throw to cover if he needs it. Except for the ones at MGM, the strollers are big and easy to push!
If she likes hats, a ball cap or a hat with a brim will be a good addtion. My son doesn't like the feel of a hat most of the time, but nearly every picture in WDW has him wearing his space mountain ball cap. I think he picked it out and so readily wears it in Florida is because it cuts out more of the visual distractions.
Now that he wears glasses, I can get him to wear the sunglasses.
Resist any temptation to be a park commando. What has come to work best with my son is to do two days in the parks, have a swim, relax, drive around kind of day and perhaps a few hours at Kindercare while mom and dad shop at Downtown Disney. He likes the structure of the kindercare. The non park day really recharges him and helps us have a better time in the parks.
Don't drag her through all of the shops in Downtown Disney in one trip. We get about 3 or 4 shops, max. This last trip, we stayed at the Courtyard and liked that we could jump over here and there, instead of making the massive trek that ends badly. My three solo trips I've made in the past year I have enjoyed leisurely shopping because I know not to subject my son to it. If you feel you must shop, perhaps you and your husband can switch off evenings going to DTD while daughter sleeps. (Open til 11pm!)
We find that we get a lot of mileage out of the character meals. Then again, my son really likes the characters, especially the face ones. If characters are scary to her, it is easy to avoid them.
Plan sit down meals and take the time to eat. Grab and go is hard on the pdd kids, they need the recharge from sitting down. Our tactic is usually a small breakfast in the room (fridge filled with yogurt, fruit and milk), then an early lunch at a sitdown. MK is the one park that we've been skipping that. At AK, we get the counter food and sit for a long time.
Which brings another point...if she's as picky as my son when it comes to food, try to have some of her favorites on hand in your room.
Another thing that's not really pdd related, but fun. Last February, a coworker gave my boys goody bags for the trip. (sons were 3 and 6 at the time) They included disposable cameras. These were such a hit that I went and bought more at super wal mart, and now pack our WDW backpack with at least 2 for each boy. It was a great diversion and we discovered that our boys have good eyes...and my AS son probably could make a living as a private investigator with all the pictures on the sly, out of the side of the stroller!
I know I've been long winded, but I wanted to get as much info to you as I can!
Happy planning.
Suzanne
