Talk me out of it...

[Pea-n-Me]

Stay strong. Don't waste your energy on someone who won't value what you have to offer. That energy is better spent taking care of yourself and finding someone worthy of your time and love. Hang in there.

 

[disneychrista]

There are many good men out there yet that will have time for you!

Stay strong. Don't waste your energy on someone who won't value what you have to offer. That energy is better spent taking care of yourself and finding someone worthy of your time and love. Hang in there.

I wish I could believe that there are good men out there. I have heard of these mythical creatures but have no experience with them. As for finding someone, I don't think that is in the cards for me.

 

[Klayfish]

I wish I could believe that there are good men out there. I have heard of these mythical creatures but have no experience with them. As for finding someone, I don't think that is in the cards for me.

Men suck when it comes to relationships. We do, I'm not afraid to admit it. Yeah, "too busy" is just terrible rationalization and excuses for not wanting to be in a relationship. I've been married for 20 years now (and with DW for 22 total) so it's been a long time since I was dating, but I can say I never used that excuse. I'm beyond lucky to have DW, she's an amazing woman and she's put up with all the bonehead things men like me say and do. I have made it a point recently to bring specific focus on being a far better husband and father and have dedicated myself to it.

Hang in there. While we men are morons, there are plenty of us who truly do want to make a relationship work...no matter how badly we stumble all over it.

 

[RamblingMad]

If you're contacting him, you have way too much time on your hands. Join a gym. Join a meetup group. Get outside. Get on a trail.

My single friends' calendars are packed. They're always going somewhere.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

 

[disneychrista]

Yeah, "too busy" is just terrible rationalization and excuses for not wanting to be in a relationship.

Yep. Funny how he could make time to go to his class reunion, over to Reno to see his buddy, up to Alaska, etc, etc, etc. He always found time for the "important" things. I just wasn't one of them.

 

[Micca]

You know there's a singles forum here on the Dis? Maybe you could at least find some distraction engaging with some other like-minded folks. Forget the dude, you can do better and be happier.

 

[Skywalker]

I know it is hard, but be strong. You deserve much better. Delete his contact info from your phone and your life. You will get through this and we will help you if you need us. You can do it.

I completely agree with this - let go of the faint hope and delete him from your contacts! Move on. There is no reason for him to be there anymore.

A friend of mine did that to avoid any temptation or reminders. She said it was the best feeling in the world when he texted her several months later and her honest reply was "Who is this?" Apparently he got quite offended that she deleted his contact info. I guess his ego was bruised lol. Tough luck, buddy.

 

[amberpi]

Stay strong! Come here! I put all my nastiness here and it helps so much. Love the idea of a burn letter. Take a vacation. Do you, but there are good men. It took me forever but I have too many amazing male friends and a husband now that remind of this. You seem so sweet, I’m sure there would be men lined up to date you. Don’t try to contact that butthole though that no time for you. You deserve better and are more worthy. Sending you the best!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Yep. Funny how he could make time to go to his class reunion, over to Reno to see his buddy, up to Alaska, etc, etc, etc. He always found time for the "important" things. I just wasn't one of them.

I like Klayfish's sentiment, too, but again, don't waste energy thinking about this guy with these sorts of thoughts.

This is a way to think that uses your energy and thoughts wisely:

If you're contacting him, you have way too much time on your hands. Join a gym. Join a meetup group. Get outside. Get on a trail.

My single friends' calendars are packed. They're always going somewhere.

My DD had a break up and we had these types of conversations, too. And others advised her of ways to meet people. Then out of the blue, it happened. But I agree, if you're home wanting to contact this deadbeat think about what else you can do that gets you out into the world.

 

[Kitty 34]

Keep a journal; write all feelings in it. Never share; store it away and someday they'll just be crusty dusty pieces of paper in a closet as mine all are.

 

[RangerPooh]

Don't do it. Many of us have been there before. It's not worth the heartache reaching out. You don;t want to get lured in with false promises, or hurt in any other manner. Just let it be. Move forward. He's already proven to not be a good friend. Remind yourself of that as reason enough to not be friends.

 

[mikehn]

That Brett Young concert is messin with your head, hahaha. Easier said than done, but stay strong.

 

[disneychrista]

That Brett Young concert is messin with your head, hahaha. Easier said than done, but stay strong.

Funny you should say that. That concert was the catalyst for the end of our "non-relationship." It was when I went to buy ticket for it and he wouldn't get back to me if he wanted to/could go that I knew that I knew he was never going to make time for me. I consider that day to be "the end," even though it took a week or so for it to really come to a finale.

 

[Nagle]

Do it. Then let us all know how it went.

 

[disneychrista]

Do it. Then let us all know how it went.

Ummm…..not going to happen.

But I can tell you how it will go.

Me: You Suck!

Him: I've been busy, lets meet for coffee tomorrow morning.

Me: No, I don't need your pity.

Him: It's not pity, I want to see you.

Me: Then why haven't I heard from you in five week.

Him: I've been busy, my granddaughter was here.

Me: Okay. Well if you ever aren't busy, let me know.

 

[Allison]

Ummm…..not going to happen.

But I can tell you how it will go.

Me: You Suck!

Him: I've been busy, lets meet for coffee tomorrow morning.

Me: No, I don't need your pity.

Him: It's not pity, I want to see you.

Me: Then why haven't I heard from you in five week.

Him: I've been busy, my granddaughter was here.

Me: Okay. Well if you ever aren't busy, let me know.

If he is old enough to have a granddaughter then you are both to old for this nonsense. Let it go and walk away.

 

[RamblingMad]

Dating and marriage is nothing more than loving the person enough to put up with their stuff.

 

[cabanafrau]

Men suck when it comes to relationships. We do, I'm not afraid to admit it. Yeah, "too busy" is just terrible rationalization and excuses for not wanting to be in a relationship. I've been married for 20 years now (and with DW for 22 total) so it's been a long time since I was dating, but I can say I never used that excuse. I'm beyond lucky to have DW, she's an amazing woman and she's put up with all the bonehead things men like me say and do. I have made it a point recently to bring specific focus on being a far better husband and father and have dedicated myself to it.

Hang in there. While we men are morons, there are plenty of us who truly do want to make a relationship work...no matter how badly we stumble all over it.

I don't think men suck when it comes to relationships. Sure, some do. But so do some women. In general I think men and women tend to generally approach relationships from slightly different perspectives. IMO there are plenty of ways where the male perspective has an awful lot of merit too. There's a bit of truth in the platitude men are from Mars, women are from Venus. IMO if both sides have the same priority of being in a good relationship there's a lot of value in the balance of bringing the two perspectives together to balance things out nicely.

My husband and I were talking just recently about how we've both benefited from being quite different in personality and strengths from each other. That's a bit different than purely generalized gender differences, but nonetheless we both appreciate that we each benefit from being able to rely on the other in areas where we're not particularly interested or have a strong aptitude, with each of us taking the lead where we're strongest or most interested.

 

[SharonZ]

It sounds like both of you were looking for different things in a relationship, it happens. You need to let it go, and stop wasting energy on what you would say to him if given the opportunity - he's not worth it.