Today was more difficult than I ever expected

[seaprincess]

Dear DisBoarders,

Hello, I hope that you all had a nice holiday. I am sure you recognize me from my posts about my dear husband who lost his battle with brain cancer in September. Today would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. As I sit here at work my mind drifts off to our special wedding day and how much happiness I felt as I was preparing to marry the love of my life. I thought it would be for forever and then a little thing called "life" stepped in and interrupted our plans permanently. I have had bouts of tears at work today but lucky to have a supportive staff who understands. I thought that Thanksgiving and my birthday were difficult but I never expected to feel so blue.

I guess I am in need of some cyber-hugs and encouragement! Thank you for letting me share my story and thoughts over the past year and a half. It makes me feel better that I can come here and be me.

Have a magical day!

Lisa (aka Seaprincess)

 

[jog58]

I don't even know what else to say but that my thoughts are with you.

 

[minniebeth]

I can't even begin to imagine how hard these special occasions are for you, let alone everyday, but I'm thinking of you and hope you heal a little more each day.

 

[dogodisney]

My heart aches for you. I hope tomorrow wil be a better day for you.

 

[teskak]

He is with you, in your dreams, and probably now regretting how much pain you are going through.

Look to the sunlight, and the rainbows and he will be there

 

[seaprincess]

Thank you so very much for your thoughts and hugs. It really cheered me up. It is rather ironic but it has been raining buckets tonight. I prefer to look at it as tears from heaven.

Have a nice evening and God Bless!

Lisa

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Lisa, sending you some good thoughts and prayers. I can't even imagine what you are going through missing your precious Ben. I will pray for peace and comfort for you. He is always in your heart forever.

 

[JoShan1719]

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

 

[quasar4legs]

Lisa, I can only imagine how terrible your loss has been.

I am sending you a big Koala cuddle from 'down under'



Glad you have supportive staff at work, it can really make a difference.

 

[safetymom]

Please be good to yourself. Sending hugs.

 

[Kathy C]

Lots of hugs to you!

 

[karen l]

Hi Lisa, sending you lots of hugs & prayers. I understand what you're going through & I know it's not easy. The first year is so hard but your memories will help you get through it.
Best wishes

 

[seaprincess]

Thank you for all the hugs and warm sentiments. It really made me smile! I love coming to the DisBoards, it is my favorite part of my evenings!

 

[Elfstar]

it's hard, I know - try and take comfort in how much you loved each other, and that you both knew that! Hang in there, we're thinking of you.

 

[dee47]

All my love and hugs for you. I'm so sorry for your pain!

 

[Jenvenza]

Oh, Lisa. I am so sorry. I had just sent you a PM today saying I was thinking about you and hoping you were okay.

I have no words. I just want to give you a cyber-hug.

 

[minnie4me]

Seaprincess,
I am just reading this thread on Jan 16th but had to write. We buried my father one year ago today , and he too had brain cancer. He dies Jan 12, 2009 after about 8 months of therapy. He was diagnosed one day prior to his 64th birthday and had his first surgery one day after his birthday. They removed the larger of two tumors and thought the other they could control with chemo and radiation. It was a 7 hour surgery and he came through really well, but ended up with complications (sort of stroke like side effect and then blood clots in his leg.) After about 6 weeks or so he was recovering pretty well and had a decent summer. My mom took him to my uncles farm almost daily. He pulled weeds, planted and harvested the best he could, always with her right there working too. He even used the rototiller. He started having weird episodes where he would just get up and move around crazy, they finally came to find out it was seizures caused by the growth of the frontal lobe tumor. The chemo and radiation did a great job at the first tumor site, but did not touch the smaller one and it just kept growing. They said it was very dense. We had a very good Thanksgiving at two different families so we were blessed. His second surgery was Dec 4th and he never made it home again. He went from the hospital to a rehab, too weak to go home with my mom, and back again. He had a serious seizure in the hospital (thought it was a stroke) , had a brain bleed and blood clots. He truly ended up dying of sepsis and going into organ failure.
He was a healthy, strong man all his life. He was my daddy and I loved him very much. All I know is the entire time he was sick I prayed and prayed for him and wanted him to get well, but knew it was God's will and not mine. I was very happy that he was never in much pain, only at the very end with the sepsis and they had him heavily medicated.
I will love him forever and miss him always. I am an only child and had a great bond with him. My DS is an only child too and also had a unique relationship with him.
My mother was devastated and basically takes it one day at a time, that is all anyone can do.
I hope God blesses you with a strong heart and it seems like you have wonderful memories to hold on to.
Thank you for your post, it has been very therapeutic for me to share with you. I hope you can find a small bit of comfort in knowing you are not alone in your sadness and grief.
Take care and God Bless !!

 

[dogodisney]

Just checking in to see how you are doing since you haven't posted in a little while. I hope you are doing well.