Would you ever work with your Spouse?

[AndreaDM]

My husband and I met and worked at the same company. However, it was a very non conventional career (airline). So given that, we really didn't work together. I want to say in 20 years, I worked with him on 10 domestic flights. We did that no problem! lol

However, for a traditional office setting job, NO WAY! We would both hate it. Too independent and we need our space. It works for many couples, but not us.

For the life of me, I would go insane being with my husband 24/7. I don't know how those couples who drive together, work together, have lunch together, and go home together do it. I'd last at that for about two weeks. (around the longest vacation we do.)

This was my parents, but they've always owned their own businesses so were working toward the same goals. My mother stayed home with us when we were young and did the bookkeeping from home, but after we were in high school, her and my dad drove to work together every day and seemed to love it. They were married 57 years when he died a few years ago. They were also married 12 years before having any kids so I guess they were used to being together, just the two of them, a lot. It worked for them, but like you, no thanks!

 

[ronandannette]

Given the scenario the OP presented, yes I could easily do it - especially for an extra 20K/year. My DH and I are in different fields within the same industry - he’s an architectural designer and I’m a warranty manager. We could both work at either of our current companies and barely ever cross paths. We’d definitely not have any overlap in our duties or accountability and since we like each other at least as well as we like any of our coworkers, it would be fine!

 

[DVC-Don]

Worked with my wife from 1993 to 2014 as an agent in her insurance agency. She's still at it, but I retired 5 years ago although I still do her books for her.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

No, I don't think I would. I think having a separate place with your own identity is good. Even if you are not in the same department there will be overlap, people will know, etc. Things can get complicated should one of you ever have conflicts with supervisors, etc.

Also, the flexibility you currently have sounds like something you like. Don't underestimate the impact of commuting 2 hours each day.

However, I do see that the additional $ and upward mobility may be enticing.

I am at the point with my company that even the remote working is not enough to make me stay. I work upwards of 10-12 hours a day as it is, so if I could actually work 8 and commute two hours it would actually be making out, time-wise. And it would be less than an hour there if leave early enough in the AM. More like 35 minutes. There's nothing good about the drive home, though...it's right past a huge airport and freeway interchanges into the city. Traffic is horrible from 2:30pm-7 every night.

The commute will be for the next 5 years until DS13 graduates high school, and then we can move closer, which is the area we would love to be in anyway. We have always knows we will not be staying in our current area after the kids are done with school. It's too expensive and we don't have a connection to the town other than our kids going to school here.

Will you be working directly with him? Or just for the same company but in a different department.

There are a lot of reason that this is a bad idea. My daughter worked under me at my last employer and I honestly don't suggest working with/for family. The biggest drawback is that it is very very hard to separate the two. Work stuff spills into family stuff, family stuff spills into work stuff.

No, not working directly with him. There are different groups that do similar functions that do somewhat work with him at certain times, but this group that is hiring is set up differently so there is no overlap. We are in two different fields, but the job functions for this job are similar to what I do for my company now - account project planning/supply chain for a manufacturing company. DH is in finance for a service-based company. The job is a national account manager position, which is similar to what I do now but it would be managing the services rather than inventory/product placement.

 

[tcufrog]

How old is your youngest kid? That would affect my choice. Also, are they willing to let you telecommute one day a week?

 

[Lilacs4Me]

How old is your youngest kid? That would affect my choice. Also, are they willing to let you telecommute one day a week?

Our youngest kid is 13, going into 8th grade. He can walk to/from school, it's about 4 blocks. DD15's school is 1.5 miles, and there is no bussing. Easily walkable in nice weather, but we live in the midwest where last year the temps got into the -50's windchill in the winter. She can't walk that far in that kind of weather. She will be 16 next June and will have her driver's license, so we would really just need to figure out the next 9 months of carpooling and scheduling for her.

Yes, the team I'm thinking about applying for works from home at least one day a week, possibly two. DH works from home one day a week but could work more than that if he wanted to. Since I am currently home 4 days a week he goes into the office when I am here, but if I took the job, he could go to two days at home. Before I went full-time remote, I worked one day at home, too, so I know what it would be like.

 

[monsterkitty]

My DH and I teach at the same school and have for the past 24 years. For 5 of those years his room was right next to mine. Now it's down the hall and around the corner so we don't have to see each other 24/7 anymore.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think the perks of working conditions would be good, and I think it's a good option. However, I wouldn't do it because the kids are kids for such a short time, and even good kids need a parent's guidance. That alone would have me saying no to the opportunity, and hoping another one comes along when they are both out of high school. Even if the opportunity didn't come I wouldn't regret not doing it.

 

[martikus]

For the same company like you describe yes. It would be more like same building than interacting a lot.

BUT in your specific scenario not until the kids in college. You truly can’t put a price on the type of flexibility you have working from home while juggling kid demands. Unless you truly hate your job I’d keep it for another few years.

 

[morgan98]

I am at the point with my company that even the remote working is not enough to make me stay. I work upwards of 10-12 hours a day as it is, so if I could actually work 8 and commute two hours it would actually be making out, time-wise. And it would be less than an hour there if leave early enough in the AM. More like 35 minutes. There's nothing good about the drive home, though...it's right past a huge airport and freeway interchanges into the city. Traffic is horrible from 2:30pm-7 every night.

The commute will be for the next 5 years until DS13 graduates high school, and then we can move closer, which is the area we would love to be in anyway. We have always knows we will not be staying in our current area after the kids are done with school. It's too expensive and we don't have a connection to the town other than our kids going to school here.

I get it. I work in leadership at a professional services firm in downtown Atlanta. I work hundreds of hours of overtime a year. It is all documented in a time sheet. When I go into to office, I leave before 6:30am and am home around 7:30, to avoid traffic. If I leave at those times, my commute is less than 30 minutes vs an hour to go 20 miles. I would rather work long days like that when I have to go to the office than waste time getting frustrated in traffic.

I guess my point is you will be in a worse place should the days really be longer than the 8 hours. Plus you have grown used to some flexibility. For the record, I have no children. It would be pretty much impossible for me to have my job with children without a.) a spouse who has lots of flexibility to deal with the kids' schedule or b.) paying for a true nanny, not daycare, that would be available 14 hours a day.

However, change can be good and maybe you are ready to leave your current employer. It may be fine if work is truly 8 hours a day.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Although as I stated I could never work with my husband plenty of people could we just two very different people in the workplace he is focused on coding I am interested in "playing with kids" nothing wrong with either career path just very different

 

[Deb & Bill]

The two of us worked at the same hospital for 22 years and we ate lunch together every day. He worked for the Director and I worked in Engineering. Once our son was 14, he got to volunteer after school in the Pharmacy. He won the award for the most service hours when he graduated from HS. I think he had 2000 or more.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

My DH and I met each other through work, in the military. He worked in different shop, but it was all of 10 yards from mine and our shops were rather intertwined (basically I managed the paperwork for the work his shop did). After we were married, we drove into work together most days, unless one of us had to be there early or stay late, but we never ate lunch together. It wasn't a big deal for us at all.

After we got out, we went to the same college, but most of our classes were different. I think we had two classes together and we sat near each other, but that was the extent of it. We each drove separately, ate lunch separately, and studied separately.

We've also worked together as independent contractors for a couple of years when we did home repair. That required us to drive together and physically work together to get each job done. It was never an issue working together. I will say though that we also occasionally worked with my brother and it was my grandfather's business and that was tough. One of the reasons we stopped doing that work was because it nearly ruined our relationships with my brother and my grandfather. With my brother, it was mostly because we had different work styles/speeds which clashed when having to work directly together and with my grandfather, it was because of the boss/employee relationship becoming too mixed in with personal/familial relationships.

OP, in your scenario, it sounds like you really wouldn't be working together, but rather just in the same building. As long as you can reasonably find a way to manage the kids' transportation issues, I'd personally go for it. Just because you work in the same building doesn't mean you need to eat lunch together. Save that for a rare, special occasion like your birthdays, anniversary, etc and eat separately every other day. It sounds like with each of you being able to work from home at least one day a week, you might be able to still manage doctor appointments and whatnot without too much hassle.

 

[tvguy]

I worked with my wife for 2 years before we started dating.
We continued to work together for another 2 years while dating.
We continued to work together for the first 7+ years of our marriage.
We both loved it. Best working years of our lives. And apparently we worked well together because our Department head.....after asking us......went to the owner and asked if we would grant an exception to a company ruling banning an employee from supervising their spouse. So I was her direct supervisor for almost 4 of the 7 years we were married.

To the OP, looking at your post, I think working with your spouse is way way way down the list of things you have to consider before taking a job with him.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

I'd be willing to work for him, but I don't think he'd want to work for me. I wouldn't blame him!

 

[kimblebee]

Where was this thread when I needed it, hey @ronandannette?

I struggled wth this a few weeks ago. I’m like you, I like my alone time and he would have wanted to eat together all the time. We would have been working directly together and I really wasn’t sure I wanted to do that. I love him, sure, but not hey let’s commute, work, AND live together love him LOL

I did end up deciding to do it...and ended up on different accounts at different locations so it works out great.

Why do you have to pay for insurance twice? Can’t you be covered by his? Or him by yours? Or do they each cover different things?

 

[violina]

My husband and I have been working for the same company for a while now -- it's actually the third company we've been at together. Most people are surprised that we've been able to do it, but we actually know a few couples in our field that go through the same thing. Generally speaking, we are in different (but adjacent) departments so we've never had to be in charge of one another. So that's usually not an issue.

I think there are benefits to working with a spouse but it's definitely up to you and your personalities as to whether or not it works for you. For my husband and I, it's our "normal" at this point.

I think it's your drawbacks list that would weigh more heavily and whether or not those are things you want to forfeit in this time your life.

 

[lilia78]

In the situation you described yes, in an second. The pay raise and opportunity for growth would be big pluses. It also sounds like you wouldn’t so much “work with your spouse” as you would be “working at the same place as your spouse”.

 

[Sabeking]

I did it for a few years and it was tough. Our situation was a little different though because we owned our business. We disagreed on some things and that took a toll on us. Also, we did not know how to shut it off. Truly it was 24/7. Since we have sold the business and work separately. I will never do it again and I know he feels the same.

 

[tcufrog]

I would consider it for one reason (assuming your DH would be willing to telecommute on the days you don't and could handle dealing with after school activities on those days) and it's a big one. The financial improvement is huge. It sounds like you'd make quite a bit more than just the salary increase because of the drop in health care costs. College is just around the corner and then there's retirement. That amount of money would go a long way with both of those things. Most people aren't as well set in regards to retirement savings as they think they are.