Would you let your child pick their own bedtime?

[SandyinMonterey]

Wow my kid at age 17 was sonetimes still at work at that time (on the weekends). That’s early for age 17.

On weekends she can stay up as late as she wants. Only school nights.

 

[Alicefan]

I said no, but my husband let's his 12 year old go to bed whenever she wants because he says she is really good about getting herself up every morning. In fact, she comes in and wakes him up. I haven't witnessed whether this is true or not because he's in the Army and stationed 3 hours from me and we haven't lived together yet. (Just got married, he retires in 11 months and I'm still working here in my town so we drive back and forth). I'm not crazy about the fact that she has that phone on her all night. I don't think a 12 year old needs access to the internet at all hours of the night myself so I'll be encouraging the 10pm electronic rule. Bring on the horrible stepmom years! lol J/k she's actually pretty easy going and seems to be craving structure. Wish me luck lol

 

[trvlgirlmq]

My kids had a set bedtime until they graduated from high school just like I did. Sleep is the most important part of growing and not something to leave in the hands of someone who’s brain is not fully developed.

 

[mrodgers]

Wow my kid at age 17 was sonetimes still at work at that time (on the weekends). That’s early for age 17.

I was still at work on weekdays at age 16-18. Worked closing the grocery store until 11:15.

 

[disykat]

I do have to add that as a teacher I witnessed firsthand the difficulty some kids have without a bedtime. Most kids learn to self monitor that at some point, not all do. Sleep hygiene is something I still work at as an adult, so it's certainly a healthy habit we need to teach our kids.

 

[nancipants]

We sleep trained my son when he was an infant and he has been going to bed between 7-8 since then (depending on his naps). I anticipate keeping this schedule until he is in elementary school and doing after school activities and may need a later bedtime due to games or homework. I remember having a bedtime until I was in high school, probably 9 when I was in elementary and middle (staying up later on the weekend). On occasion, they let me stay up late to watch a certain show.

 

[HeatherC]

No…not until like high school.

 

[slo]

My answer was No
My girls had an earlier bedtime Sunday - Thursday and a later bedtime on Friday & Saturday until high school.
The times changed as they got older - their bedtime when they were 5 years old was not the same as when they were 12 years old.

I do know people who had a bedtime for their high schoolers, but that was not possible for my girls, especially my youngest - they were to busy and would be up late doing homework or studying. There were several times I’d wake up at 2am and the dining room light was still on and I could see her reflection in a mirror still studying. I told her that as much as it stinks, she’ll be well prepared for when she’s in college.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Small children...heck no! The girls never needed a bedtime and went to bed early. My boys had a harder time falling asleep. The teens had to be in bed with lights out on school nights by 10ish. Humans can not operate effectively with sleep deprivation. Too many do not get enough shuteye which can cause behavior and health issues.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/features/students-sleep.htm

 

[BamaGuy44]

Young kid, like under 12? No way. Young kids have no capacity to make smart decisions on stuff like that, and sleep is important. My son had a bed time at 8-9pm on school nights. Starting around 9, summer and weekends we didn't set a time but it was understood that around midnight is late enough. Bed time was 100% non-negotiable and we tried to have a consistent routine. So we didn't have many bed time arguments.

 

[aprilgail]

No. Always had a set bedtime for my daughter. Was not set to it during vacations/family visiting. My daughter is now 17 and I like her to be in bed, lights and electronics off at 10;30 p.m. Sometimes 11 p.m. if she has a lot of homework. I mostly set a time because of the texts that will come out all hours of the night. Her friends stay up till 12 a.m. and even 1 a.m.

A bedtime for a 17 year old??? At 17 my daughter was away at college and if she could not decide when she needed to go to sleep at that age then I failed as a parent! Even in high school at that time she would still be at after school activities or at work!

We never had a set bedtime, my daughter co-slept so when she was little she would go to bed mainly when I did (which was never a set time)- once she started sleeping in her own room and had to get up for school in the morning she learned quickly that staying up late and getting up early wasn't so great LOL- luckily her grade school didn't start until 9:20 so she never had to get up before 820ish.

 

[tvguy]

Bedtime, no. No way we could ever control when our kids actually went to sleep.
When our kids bedtime was 9 pm, I was working graveyard shift and leaving the house for work about 10:45 pm. The kids bedrooms were at the front of the house and many nights I had two tiny faces in their bedroom windows waving goodbye.

 

[dez1978]

For now, no. When they were babies I was pretty strict with the whole bedtime thing, which really helped quite a bit, as I work FT and DH works out of town, so I needed early bedtimes. Also my kids never slept thru the night until they were more than a year old, and both pretty much quit napping by 2.5. I tried changing beditimes to see if that helped but nothing did so we stuck with the early bed times to ensure they got the 10+ hours of sleep they needed then. Now they are 8 & 11 (almost, he reminds me daily). They still have to get up at 630 and go to daycare during the week so they still go to bed at 830 and 9 during the week. Weekends they can stay up a bit later. The oldest def needs more sleep than the younger one. If he doesn't get enough sleep, he is a real grouch and hard to deal with (he comes by it naturally lol).

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Like others, when young, mine had an “approximate” bedtime. Never super-strict about “exact” times, and would let them stay up for special events or shows on occasion, etc. As they got older they managed bedtimes themselves, and I never had a problem with them getting up for school in the mornings, or being tired during the day, so it worked for us.