Debt Dumpers - 2019

[Birdie dog]

I imagine the answer is yes, and that it's probably how a lot of us ended up here, but does anyone else struggle with spending as a coping mechanism? I feel like emotional spending is my downfall. Nothing huge, but there's been some stress for me lately and I'm never more tempted to spend than in times of stress/ sadness/ anger/ etc. How do you guys combat it?

There are definitely times that I want to shop. The desire waxes and wanes. I think when I divorced, I was determined that my life would be "better" not married than when I was and I wasn't going to be "poor". I wanted my kids to live lives that were what they were used to (hence my first budget idea all those years ago was a Christmas club that I still keep). I think somewhere in my head having things became synonymous with living a good life. Now I realize that a bunch of stuff is simply a bunch of stuff and a good life will be keeping my money for things I really want - mostly travel.

 

[Jaime4004]

My next 3 paycheck month isn't until May. Which is kind of nice because we get our quarterly bonus in June so I should be able to make a good dent in the wedding fund in May/June.

Same here. When I saw the posts about the extra march paycheck I went to check the calendar and count paydays. We'll be May.

Received tax refund last week, and paid off car #1, yeah! I think I posted that. What I didn't post was that I forgot to shut off the autopay and they deducted another $500 the next day. I messaged them about refunding it but the response was that I'll get a check in the mail after it's found to be overpaid. Could have used that money now, but it's not critical, so i'll just bask in the negative balance of the car...

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I imagine the answer is yes, and that it's probably how a lot of us ended up here, but does anyone else struggle with spending as a coping mechanism? I feel like emotional spending is my downfall. Nothing huge, but there's been some stress for me lately and I'm never more tempted to spend than in times of stress/ sadness/ anger/ etc. How do you guys combat it?

Snacking. Emotional eating isn't good either. In dh's family, when they're stressed, they can't eat and get very thin. Never in my family.
Chewy Sprees when I'm craving sugar. White cheddar Cheez-Its with grooves when I'm craving salt. (Dh calls them his heroin. It's not funny but they are addicting.)
Pistachios or fruit when I'm trying to behave.

 

[imbatman]

I *think* I just paid off one of my credit cards? Unsure. I couldn't find a 10 day payoff quote online and I was getting the run around when I tried to call so I probably owe a couple bucks in interest.

No one gave you a banana dance?! Appalling!

I should be ashamed but I was never taught about a budget.

Same. At least you learned and are moving forward now!

Same here. When I saw the posts about the extra march paycheck I went to check the calendar and count paydays. We'll be May.

Also a May third checker!

We were hit with record-breaking snow last week. Six days without power. Yes, we lost food. Yes, we lost sooooo many trees. Yes, I blew my budget because you simply cannot NOT gas up the generator every night when it's 31. And we had to buy new chains for the chainsaw because ours broke. And we ate out sometimes because it was down to 50 inside the house and we were desperate for warmth and warm food and electricity. When the power finally came back on Monday night, DH and I actually danced and quickly turned on the heater. Add in my upper respiratory infection, a couple other medical issues, and I'm a tired, tired gal this week. I'd like to take the weekend off to rest, but the trees will not clear themselves off of the fences.

But, in good news: we have electricity now. THANK GOD! I'm on the mend. I'm still making my payments even though I know we will go backward this month. I'm grateful we were GIVEN a generator. Flat-out generosity enabled us to save half of our freezer foods (we lost the fridge and bottom freezer stuff) and heat our kids' bedrooms. And that this, too, shall pass. One day I'll look back and forget exactly how cold it was. But I'm moving forward. I'll recalculate the costs later this week. Or next week. But, I'll get there!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Well, I get paid bi-weekly and budget that way. It just never works out that the third paycheck is actually "extra" for me. I must be doing something wrong.

Since way back in the 90s, I'd keep a list of each paycheck as a heading, then beneath that list each bill to pay with that check. (For me, this goes way back to the days when car loans would mean the bank mailing a thick booklet of vouchers/coupons to tear off and mail with a check. lol)
If I had stuck to that list, I wouldn't have ended up here in this thread, but that's another story.

If every payday, you pay the bills on each list, including debt payments, and every month you're doing this with 2 paychecks per month, eventually you will see that months that have 3 checks, there's nothing on that list that corresponds to that paycheck, except maybe payments that repeat weekly or biweekly. For me, I found myself more organized to divide car insurance bills into biweekly amounts and just transfer to savings $91 every other Thursday. Then when the bill comes, I can just transfer out of savings and pay it. I do this with our quarterly sewer bill also, $9 per week. So 'bills' like this still continue for my months with 3 pays but they are a small part of that paycheck.

Also it used to confuse the heck out of me how to choose which paycheck is the extra one. If I called the first pay the extra one, then my car payment wouldn't get paid on time. If I made the last paycheck the extra one, then I'd have to start setting aside mortgage money on like the 16th of the month because I split the mortgage/escrow in half and hold out of the last 2 Thursdays of the month: half from my last pay, half from dh's last pay. The 16th felt so early to start thinking of mortgage 2 weeks after I just paid it. So finally now I have designated the middle pay as the extra one. This way bills due early in the month still get paid on time, and mortgage still gets paid from the last 2 Thursdays.

This probably sounds confusing and I'm rambling on but if you stick to a very specific list of bills and assign them to a paycheck according to each one's due date, you will eventual find which of the 3 paychecks is best to just hold aside as an extra. It will take some experimenting.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Anyone know how I can make a specific room request for Polynesian? I don't care so much about the exact room, but rather the building. I tried calling the general number, but the person that I got on the phone wasn't helpful.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Well, I get paid bi-weekly and budget that way. It just never works out that the third paycheck is actually "extra" for me. I must be doing something wrong.

When I have a 3 paycheck month, that check doesn't actually become "extra" for about 3 months - that's how long it takes to not have to use the 2nd check of the month for the mortgage and be able to skip back to using the first check of the month for the mortgage.

 

[Jen and Ashwin]

Also it used to confuse the heck out of me how to choose which paycheck is the extra one. If I called the first pay the extra one, then my car payment wouldn't get paid on time. If I made the last paycheck the extra one, then I'd have to start setting aside mortgage money on like the 16th of the month because I split the mortgage/escrow in half and hold out of the last 2 Thursdays of the month: half from my last pay, half from dh's last pay. The 16th felt so early to start thinking of mortgage 2 weeks after I just paid it. So finally now I have designated the middle pay as the extra one. This way bills due early in the month still get paid on time, and mortgage still gets paid from the last 2 Thursdays.

Since we started using YNAB and worked towards always being 1 month ahead of all of our expenses, we don't have this problem. The third check is always the extra one and we already have the next month's expenses set aside, so we don't have to worry about not having next month's mortgage ready when it comes out of our accounts on the first of the month. I think otherwise, it wouldn't work so well as you are describing.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

No one gave you a banana dance?! Appalling!


Same. At least you learned and are moving forward now!


Also a May third checker!

We were hit with record-breaking snow last week. Six days without power. Yes, we lost food. Yes, we lost sooooo many trees. Yes, I blew my budget because you simply cannot NOT gas up the generator every night when it's 31. And we had to buy new chains for the chainsaw because ours broke. And we ate out sometimes because it was down to 50 inside the house and we were desperate for warmth and warm food and electricity. When the power finally came back on Monday night, DH and I actually danced and quickly turned on the heater. Add in my upper respiratory infection, a couple other medical issues, and I'm a tired, tired gal this week. I'd like to take the weekend off to rest, but the trees will not clear themselves off of the fences.

But, in good news: we have electricity now. THANK GOD! I'm on the mend. I'm still making my payments even though I know we will go backward this month. I'm grateful we were GIVEN a generator. Flat-out generosity enabled us to save half of our freezer foods (we lost the fridge and bottom freezer stuff) and heat our kids' bedrooms. And that this, too, shall pass. One day I'll look back and forget exactly how cold it was. But I'm moving forward. I'll recalculate the costs later this week. Or next week. But, I'll get there!

What is wonderful is that the trees only landed on fences. Your home is intact, you can't see sunlight when you look at the ceiling, and most importantly, no one was hurt. So much to be thankful for. Still it is exhausting to deal with all of that. Hope you're feeling better soon!

 

[Dentam]

Since way back in the 90s, I'd keep a list of each paycheck as a heading, then beneath that list each bill to pay with that check. (For me, this goes way back to the days when car loans would mean the bank mailing a thick booklet of vouchers/coupons to tear off and mail with a check. lol)

Yeah, I've maintained a spreadsheet of bills for a few years now with due dates, balances, priority of payoff, etc. I pay all of my bills with the first check of the month, plus set aside an extra $100 since sadly my rent is over half of my take home pay (yay, Denver).

Also it used to confuse the heck out of me how to choose which paycheck is the extra one. If I called the first pay the extra one, then my car payment wouldn't get paid on time. If I made the last paycheck the extra one, then I'd have to start setting aside mortgage money on like the 16th of the month because I split the mortgage/escrow in half and hold out of the last 2 Thursdays of the month: half from my last pay, half from dh's last pay. The 16th felt so early to start thinking of mortgage 2 weeks after I just paid it. So finally now I have designated the middle pay as the extra one. This way bills due early in the month still get paid on time, and mortgage still gets paid from the last 2 Thursdays.

When I have a 3 paycheck month, that check doesn't actually become "extra" for about 3 months - that's how long it takes to not have to use the 2nd check of the month for the mortgage and be able to skip back to using the first check of the month for the mortgage.

I think this is where I get confused. It will be extra at some point, but not on the date that I receive that third check for the month because I have to use it to pay bills that are due again.

Ah, adulting. So fun!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Since we started using YNAB and worked towards always being 1 month ahead of all of our expenses, we don't have this problem. The third check is always the extra one and we already have the next month's expenses set aside, so we don't have to worry about not having next month's mortgage ready when it comes out of our accounts on the first of the month. I think otherwise, it wouldn't work so well as you are describing.

Having that extra buffer is on our to do list. I'm feeling too impatient to start that while I'm still setting car money aside to help ds. Long before joining this thread was when I experimented with which paycheck works best as the extra and settled on the middle one. I pay bills as if we're living check to check but in reality we have dh's slush fund which is more than one month's take home pay if we ever need it. Right now I'd rather not have a month's expenses sitting in our checking account. We also have several months of expenses in a Vanguard MF if needed. Because of that, I don't mind to keep living like we're check to check.
Come to think of it, it might be better to switch to the last check of the month for the extra one. That would mean a very early mortgage payment and some savings on interest.


I have to confess, I did finally go get a used Lincoln MKC. Not the 1st one that I resisted in Jan but another one. It had 21k miles and in meticulous condition. Also still under original warranty and because it's certified pre-owned, it had additional warranty. Also we bought extended warranty so it's covered until Dec 2025. I put $17k down and part of that is $4k I promised to help ds but he doesn't take his road test until March. In the meantime I'm saving our snowball toward that.
I did take a small car loan but I am on schedule to have it paid off by December instead of 4 yrs which was the minimum time span they'd offer.

Dh also agreed to give ds $4k from his slush fund to help him get a car. He has almost $6k of his own saved so hopefully much more by the time we shop for a car. This is an incredible feat for the boy who couldn't resist spending every penny ever given to him. It's amazing what having goals does for the psyche.

Anyone know how I can make a specific room request for Polynesian? I don't care so much about the exact room, but rather the building. I tried calling the general number, but the person that I got on the phone wasn't helpful.

I'm not sure but if you browse on the Resorts section of the Dis, you will find a thread all about the Polynesian. It was very helpful when we stayed there a few years ago. There are some die-hard fans there who are very knowledgeable.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

Yeah, I've maintained a spreadsheet of bills for a few years now with due dates, balances, priority of payoff, etc. I pay all of my bills with the first check of the month, plus set aside an extra $100 since sadly my rent is over half of my take home pay (yay, Denver).

Have you ever considered getting a roommate? Maybe some responsible, single coworker who is also struggling financially from living alone. I couldn't afford our home without dh, that's for sure.

I think this is where I get confused. It will be extra at some point, but not on the date that I receive that third check for the month because I have to use it to pay bills that are due again.

Try keeping the middle check as the extra.
For example in May I'll have 3 checks. The 16th will be my extra check. The mortgage money will still get put aside on the 23rd and 30th. I will still have 2 checks in June to pay the June bills, in the same way that I paid the March and April bills. It's just another month as usual.

 

[Newcastle]

There are definitely times that I want to shop. The desire waxes and wanes. I think when I divorced, I was determined that my life would be "better" not married than when I was and I wasn't going to be "poor". I wanted my kids to live lives that were what they were used to (hence my first budget idea all those years ago was a Christmas club that I still keep). I think somewhere in my head having things became synonymous with living a good life. Now I realize that a bunch of stuff is simply a bunch of stuff and a good life will be keeping my money for things I really want - mostly travel.

I feel like I could have written this post word for word...lol

ETA: minus the Christmas club part but I am intrigued .

 

[pblack]

[QUOTE="Dentam, post: 60290949, member: 544734"...sadly my rent is over half of my take home pay (yay, Denver).
[/QUOTE]

I feel you on this, except for me it's yay, California. Between my DH and I, our mortgage is just under half of our take home pay.

 

[Tygerlilly]

In Oklahoma, my pay is essentially rent. His covers everything else. So much money...

 

[Shughart]

You must live close to where I grew up. My parents still live in Rockford.

Belvidere

 

[DisneyMandC]

Have you ever considered getting a roommate? Maybe some responsible, single coworker who is also struggling financially from living alone. I couldn't afford our home without dh, that's for sure.

My BFF just moved home with her dad and is really struggling with it. She's a teacher, so obviously not great pay at all. She wants to live alone so bad, and I've tried to explain to her that there just aren't many people out there who can live alone anymore, ESPECIALLY if they're teachers. It's sad but true. I started thinking about it and every person in my office who isn't married has a roommate. One coworker is getting ready to move back home with her parents to try to save some money.

 

[Dentam]

Have you ever considered getting a roommate? Maybe some responsible, single coworker who is also struggling financially from living alone. I couldn't afford our home without dh, that's for sure.

I've been there and done that and feel that I am completely over that period of my life and being able to deal with roommates. I did consider it when I was forced to move last spring and contacted a few people (some were teachers sharing houses since teachers get paid crap here and can't afford places of their own) but it never worked out. Having a 100 pound dog and a cat were the issues. Allergies to cats, or they already had a dog and didn't want another one in the house, the list went on. Plus, as I mentioned before, I'm an introvert and really do best when I have my own place to wind down. I always feel a bit on edge when sharing a place with someone, like I can never completely relax. For me it is worth it to pay more for that reason. It just means that it will take a bit longer to pay off my debt.

Try keeping the middle check as the extra.

I can't do that since that check will need to go entirely to my rent, which is due by the 1st. Unless I paid less toward my cc bills with the first check, but I have a good snowball going and would rather not do that. And it would all even out anyway I think.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I've been there and done that and feel that I am completely over that period of my life and being able to deal with roommates. I did consider it when I was forced to move last spring and contacted a few people (some were teachers sharing houses since teachers get paid crap here and can't afford places of their own) but it never worked out. Having a 100 pound dog and a cat were the issues. Allergies to cats, or they already had a dog and didn't want another one in the house, the list went on. Plus, as I mentioned before, I'm an introvert and really do best when I have my own place to wind down. I always feel a bit on edge when sharing a place with someone, like I can never completely relax. For me it is worth it to pay more for that reason. It just means that it will take a bit longer to pay off my debt.



I can't do that since that check will need to go entirely to my rent, which is due by the 1st. Unless I paid less toward my cc bills, but I have a good snowball going and would rather not do that.

My niece is the same. She had a lot of unreliable and/or inconsiderate roommates and she finally decided she’d rather be broke than unhappy. She needs her quiet time to recover from work.

How do you make it work for rent on months that have 2 checks?

 

[Dentam]

My BFF just moved home with her dad and is really struggling with it. She's a teacher, so obviously not great pay at all. She wants to live alone so bad, and I've tried to explain to her that there just aren't many people out there who can live alone anymore, ESPECIALLY if they're teachers. It's sad but true. I started thinking about it and every person in my office who isn't married has a roommate. One coworker is getting ready to move back home with her parents to try to save some money.

I guess it comes down to where you are in your life and what you can deal with. It's all a trade off. For me it's more important to have my own place and the quality of life that gives me then to save money by sharing with random roommates anymore. The last roommate I had (when I first moved to Denver) was a nutter. Seemed normal when we talked and emailed before I moved in, but man, living with someone is another story.